True Love Waits
by Adam Kadmon
Summary: It waits, even when you abandon hope, even when you swear never again. AU, rated for language and sexuality. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

True Love Waits

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis: Evangelion. None of it

a/n: AU

* * *

"Hey there, gloomy." 

"Huh?"

Shinji raised his head from his desk, blinking. Despite his young age, by fourteen he had learned that his interaction with people was limited to awkward confusion and spiteful belittling. Being a new transfer student at a big school was only reinforcing this for him. Some rules were not meant to be broken.

As it was, he was only slightly surprised when his summoner turned out to be a cute girl.

"Why so down? You are the famous Ikari Shinji, aren't you?"

"Famous?" he asked, bewildered.

"Yeah. The famous third seat cellist who outshone our school's own prodigal star at the recital last week."

Shinji scratched the back of his neck.

"Oh, that was just…"

"Raw talent?" The girl smiled and sat down next to him, scooting her chair close. "I may not know, you know, classical music and stuff, but I can see talent from a mile away."

Shinji blushed at the open compliment.

"It wasn't anything special, really."

"Hmm, modest, too," the girl said, as if checking off a score card.

"Well, I'm, um, glad you enjoyed it," he said.

The girl blushed.

"Actually, I kind of missed the whole recital." She rapped her fist against the side of her head. "But I heard you were really outstanding."

Shinji felt warm and dizzy.

"You're being so nice to me, and I don't even know your name."

The girl grinned.

"I'm Mana. Kirishima Mana."

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 1

* * *

Shinji rushed to the front hall of his modest apartment to keep his visitor from knocking the door down. 

"I'll be right there," he called out. He wiped his hands on his apron, unconsciously giving himself a quick check in the mirror by the door. By no means vain, he had developed a subtle sense of aestheticism, though it was not cultivated by his own tastes. He ran a still-soapy hand through his short hair.

Waiting at the door was a suited middle-aged man, balding, with a severe air of authority.

"You Kirishima Mana?" he demanded, thrusting an envelope towards him.

Shinji flustered a bit.

"Ah, no, but I can see she gets it."

"She'd better."

The man gave a final look at Shinji's apron-clad appearance and smirked. He turned smartly and left.

Shinji sighed. Despite his young age, at twenty-one he was resigned to the fact that his interaction with people was limited to awkward confusion and spiteful belittling.

Well, with most people.

There were always exceptions to the rule. His was a girl he'd known for seven years. The girl he loved. His hand slipped into his pocket, toying with the box he found there for the hundredth time that hour. The girl he was going to spend the rest of his life with.

_Look at me blush like an idiot,_ he thought as his face heated up. _We already live together, for God's sake._

He closed the door and made his way back to the kitchen. Someone was waiting for him.

"Why are you blushing?"

"Oh, uh, n-no reason."

Mana planted a hand on her hip.

"Even after all these years you're a terrible liar."

"Would you rather I was a great liar?"

"I'd rather you get back to the dishes, Ikari." She crossed her arms, and almost as an afterthought, asked: "Who was at the door?"

"Oh, I don't know. He had a letter for you."

"Really?"

Shinji gave her the envelope. She playfully turned from him, unsealing it. Her mood turned somber.

"I have to go to Tokyo," she said. Mana folded the letter and went to the bedroom.

"What? So sudden?" Shinji trailed after her.

"Sorry, Shinji. Official job stuff."

"Oh." He watched with growing melancholy as she began to pack. _The trials of living with a civil servant, I guess. _"When will you be back?"

"Don't know," she said, not looking at him. "Maybe a few days, maybe a couple weeks." Mana leaned onto her suitcase until it closed. She made her way to the bathroom.

"I'll miss you," he said shyly.

She stopped and smiled.

"Don't get all mushy on me, Ikari. I'll be back before you know it."

"Will you be back for your birthday?"

She gave him a tired smile.

"Don't know." She proceeded to gather her toiletries. Mana returned to the bedroom to finish packing. Shinji watched her, fidgeting. His hand went to his pocket.

"I love you," he blurted out suddenly.

Mana glanced over her shoulder.

"Love you, too."

She watched him for a moment and gave up. She crept over and gave him a peck on the lips.

"I'll be back before you know it."

Shinji gently encircled her waist.

"You really can't tell me anything, huh?"

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." She shot an imaginary bullet from her forefinger. "And I'd hate to do that. I've actually grown quite fond of you."

* * *

_"Operations over. Mission incomplete."_

The field commander's voice crackled over the com link. An anguished sigh worked the cramped JSSDF mobile command room. Captain Katsuragi Misato stood tight-lipped, not allowing herself to show any emotion yet.

"Primary target status?" Misato asked.

There was a slight pause.

_"Escaped."_

Captain Katsuragi cursed silently.

"Secondary target status?"

_"Dispatched." _

When no response was forthcoming, the field commander spoke again, explaining.

_"She pulled a gun. A small revolver."_

Misato bit her lip.

_"We, ah, we had to—"_

"I'll read the report," she snapped. "How's our agent?"

The answer came quickly.

_"Fine. No harm done. She's returning now, captain."_

"Secure the area and return to base." Misato turned to Hyuuga Makoto. "Take over for me here."

The lieutenant gave a solemn nod.

"Yes, ma'am."

Misato left the mobile command center, navigating through the sea of soldiers returning to base. She quickly spied a black humvee and waved it over. One of the tinted windows rolled down and a cross-looking man in body armor met Misato's glare.

"We need to debrief her first, captain," he said, cutting her off. "Whatever you have to say, it can wait."

"Do I need to remind you who is in charge here?" Misato frowned. "Let her out."

The man gave a low, guttural sigh.

"Ma'am, command's orders were very clear on this and—"

"I'll take responsibility, so stop trying to cover your own ass."

The back door of the humvee opened and a woman stepped out.

"If you two are through throwing your weight around, I could use a smoke."

"Hey! You can't just—"

Misato leaned across the man and shot the driver a deadly glare.

"Take off."

The driver did.

Misato grinned mentally at how intimidated of her some of the grunts were. She turned and found the woman against a building, fumbling in her pockets for a lighter. A crooked cigarette hung from her lower lip.

"Ritsu, I'm sorry. I—"

Ritsuko shrugged.

"I signed up for this knowing she might die." She leaned against the wall, lighting a cigarette. She took a long drag. "She would have been imprisoned anyways. I'm sorry it happened, but it was her own fault."

Misato fidgeted.

"I'm still sorry."

Ritsuko stared at something Misato couldn't see.

"Look, maybe, maybe you should take a couple days off. Take a break, huh? You've earned it."

"Yeah, maybe," she said absently.

"I mean it."

Ritsuko made no response.

"Don't make me make it an order," Misato said, trying to smile.

The gesture wasn't returned.

"The higher-ups want this Ikari guy put away fast. I can't take off, not now that he's out there," Ritsuko said. She pursed her lips. "God, the things he was doing in that lab…"

"I know," Misato said.

"No, you don't." She blew out a lungful of smoke and crushed the butt under her heel. "You might have read the reports but you didn't see it."

* * *

Field report summary 10/21/15 

Primary target Ikari Gendo:

Whereabouts unknown

Secondary target Akagi Naoko:

Killed

* * *

Ayanami Rei struggled to stay awake for the remaining four minutes of school, watching with detached interest as the clock refused to reach three. She turned her gaze out the window. Cotton-ball clouds crawled over the blue sky, playing hide-and-seek with the sun. Below her the sakuras were still in season, and a gentle breeze shook them free, carpeting the ground with colorful petals. 

_Another gorgeous day,_ she thought with mild disgust.

Gradually she became aware of someone gently shaking her arm.

"—just leave her, Hikari. If she wants to space out again, I'm not waiting for her."

"Don't be mean, Asuka. We all agreed to go out today, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't whine when all the shops close up." She made a show of checking her watch.

Rei stretched and yawned, deciding it was pointless to try and avoid Asuka's bad side. She looked around at the empty classroom.

"Sorry," she said without meaning it, "I zoned out for awhile."

"What else is new?" Asuka snorted.

Hikari squirmed.

"Come on, guys, keep it civil today, okay?"

"I'm always civil," Rei lobbed at Asuka.

"Don't get all high and mighty just because you're first right now, Ayanami." Asuka crossed her arms. "On the next exam, I will beat you."

"It's always good to have goals in life, Second," Rei said.

"I mean it, First," the redhead threatened.

"Please," Hikari pleaded, "can't we go one day without a fight?"

"I'm not fighting," Asuka said. "You'll know when I'm fighting."

The great Soryu Asuka Langely, daughter of the great Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin didn't settle for second place. Not in anything. Certainly not in school, where, like everything else, she excelled. And certainly not to Ayanami Rei. Besides, who cared if she slipped a little on the last test? It wasn't the end of the world. Not as long as she made it up next time. As long as she beat wondergirl.

She snorted softly. This whole "friendship" thing? Just a convenient façade. Best to keep your enemies close, Asuka reasoned. Even if it was Rei.

"I'll know when you're fighting?" the albino asked. "I guess you weren't fighting on the last test, then."

"Watch it, First."

"Guys!" Hikari nearly shouted.

Asuka flung her book bag over her shoulder.

"Fine, fine. Come on, let's go."

The trio made their way out of the school, Asuka and Rei not bothering to grace anyone with their attention, albeit for completely different reasons. Hikari padded along after them, trying vainly to smooth over any hurt feelings left in their wake.

It was on the streets, as the girls waited at a crosswalk, when a frighteningly familiar blue alpine Renault screeched to a halt at their feet.

"Heya, gals. Want a ride?" Misato tested the horn twice, grinning like a toddler.

"She seems to be in a good mood today," Asuka said.

"You'd think that," Rei said.

"Thank you, Katsuragi-san," Hikari said, bowing slightly, "but we—"

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? It makes me feel old." _Please oh please don't think I'm old._

"But you are old," Rei stated.

Misato growled.

"Look, do you want a ride or not?" She gracefully ignored the mounting line of cars behind her.

Rei opened the side door and slid in.

"I don't really feel like walking."

"Glad to be of service, princess."

"But we were all going to go shopping, Rei," Hikari pouted.

Asuka scoffed.

"If wondergirl wants to take a trip in the blue coffin, let her. No skin off my nose."

Misato leaned out of her window.

"Your mama says hi, Asuka-chan," she said. "She told me to tell you to stay out of trouble." She gave her a toothy grin.

Asuka bristled. Hikari swooped in to pacify the situation.

"Um, maybe we'll stop by later, okay?"

"Sure," Rei said without looking at her.

Misato gunned the engine and the Renault was soon out of sight.

"Drunken whore," Asuka spat.

* * *

"So… how was school?" 

"It was."

Misato frowned at her familiar succinct response.

"Oh, okay. How was that math test? The one you were studying so hard for last week?"

"I passed."

Misato waited for more and was disappointed.

"What did you get?"

"I can't remember."

Misato sighed.

_Calm down, it wasn't so long ago you were a teenager._

"How are Hikari and Asuka. Well, I know how Asuka is."

"Fine."

Misato grinned.

"How about guys? Any cuties talk to you today?"

Rei didn't bother to dignify that with a response. They drove in silence for a time.

"Look, ah, work is kind of crazy right now, so I won't be around for dinner, okay?"

"Sure," Rei answered.

"I know I've been out a lot lately, but I promise I'll make it up to you, alright?"

"Sure."

"We could go shopping, or hit a movie, maybe eat out someplace fancy. You know, just the two of us. Like old times. How's that sound?"

"Sure."

_Who am I kidding,_ Misato thought. _I'm just avoiding her._ She sighed again. _I just don't know how to act around her anymore. I mean, sure, she's always been serious, but lately… Maybe it's time to see a therapist or something. God, how would I tell her that? 'Gee, Rei, I know I've looked after you for almost seven years now, but I think you're mentally ill.'? _

She swerved around a slow car almost unconsciously.

She could picture Ritsuko's smug face, asking her if she's hit her limit.

'_You agreed to take her in after her parents died. Can't back out now, kid.'_

_Maybe I could get a pet for her, _she thought suddenly._ Hmmm… dogs are too messy. Cats are too bitchy…_

A passing billboard caught her eye.

_Maybe a penguin. They had some cute ones at the research facility where I met Rei. Sure, a penguin will make all our problems go away._

"What do you think, Rei?" she asked flatly. "Want a penguin?"

Rei did not answer.

* * *

_She won't be angry,_ Shinji told himself. _Okay, she probably won't be angry. _

Granted, he hardly ever surprised her at work before, and never when she was away on business. Actually, he'd only done it once, and he could still remember how angry she'd been with him. Livid, really. Shinji had honestly thought the bouquet of roses and picnic lunch were romantic ideas, maybe not entirely original, but Mana had not. Shinji wouldn't forget sleeping in the hall for the following week like a disobedient dog. He'd quickly learned that business and pleasure do not mix.

Mana worked as an assistant at a local law firm, one with branches throughout the country. While she talked of it often, after that failed lunch date she had all but forbade him from visiting.

Now that he thought of it, Shinji realized how odd a law firm it was. It all looked very bureaucratic, like a company or a government organization. He did get to meet her boss that one time though. An elderly gentleman, very distinguished looking. Fuyutski, if Shinji recalled correctly.

He gazed out the window of the train and beheld Tokyo under a hazy twilight and was strangely unsettled. It wasn't the cramped buildings or the sheer volume of people that preyed on his mind; it was something almost primal, instinctual, as if here was someplace he should not be.

He frowned, telling himself how silly he was. Of course he belonged here. Well, maybe not belonged, but here was where he was supposed to be. He was sure of that. This was where Mana was. This was where he should be, too.

* * *

Shinji put down the phone book. It was the third he'd tried and still he could not find any listing of Mana's law firm. There weren't any Fuyutskis who were lawyers listed either. He was beginning to get discouraged. 

Tomorrow would be Mana's birthday and if he couldn't find her in time his plan would be ruined. Granted,this wasn't the place he wanted to propose to her, but it would have to do. He began to sweat, even as he told himself she'd accept.

_I mean, we already live together. We're practically… _He blushed as he thought of it._… married._

He shook his head, trying to keep his color down. It didn't work. His fingers touched the engagement ring box through his pants, and his imagination swam in fantasies of flower arrangements and bridal dresses. He thought how beautiful Mana would look wearing a flowing white gown.

Well, maybe not totally white.

His cell phone rang, dispersing his daydream.

"Hello?"

_"Shinji, where are you?"_

It was Mana. Shinji panicked a little.

"Um, out. Why?"

_"I called the apartment and you weren't there. Where are you?"_

"Just… out shopping." He paused. "How are you?"

_"Fine,"_ came her instant response. _"You're not doing anything… stupid, are you?"_

"No, I don't think so." He waited for her to speak again. "Um, are you okay? Is everything alright?"

_"Fine, just… just stay on the line a sec, okay? Don't move."_

Shinji sighed and glanced at his watch. He'd been on hold for a good five minutes now. Just as he was about to hang up and redial, a black van pulled up beside him. The side door slid open and two large men came out.

"Are you Ikari Shinji?" the larger man asked, flashing some sort of badge.

"Um, yes?"

"Please come with us."

Shinji backed up a step.

"Who are you?"

The men advanced slowly, from either side. Shinji noticed the man not speaking to him was scanning the streets.

"Friends. We're here to take you to your father."

Shinji froze.

"My what?"

"Your father, Ikari Gendo." The man paused. "You want to see your father, don't you?"

"But… Mana—" he started lamely.

The man laughed at him.

"Oh, sorry. That's right; you wouldn't know. Your father knows all about Mana." He stepped closer to Shinji. "Come along now. Your father is waiting."

* * *

Ritsuko stood beside Misato in the mobile command center, chewing on her lip in place of a cigarette. She cracked her knuckles. 

"I thought I told you to take a few days off," Misato said gently.

"Not until he's put away."

Misato didn't bother for clarification. There would be no speedy trials for Ikari Gendo. He'd be locked up and the key would be thrown away.

"I never knew Ikari had a son," Misato said, idly flipping through a file. "Ikari Shinji, age twenty-one, employed as a software designer for Ichiban Industries."

"He was a closely guarded secret," Ritsuko explained. "I didn't even know about him until I went undercover."

"But shouldn't we have known about him?"

Ritsuko shrugged.

"He's been under heavy surveillance since he was a teenager. I think Section-2 was handling it."

"Those incompetent buffoons?"

Ritsuko smiled in agreement.

"Well, thanks to those incompetent buffoons we have another chance at his old man. The agents lost track of him as he entered the city, but eyewitnesses report seeing a young man fitting Shinji's description being dragged into a van by two men." She pried the file away from Misato. "They tracked his cell phone for about a half mile before it was deactivated."

Misato leaned against Hyuuga's chair. He pretended not to notice.

"But why would Ikari go after his son now? Was it just convenience?"

Ritsuko flipped a few pages.

"Unlikely. It seems a couple guys tried to break into his apartment. They're been interrogated already." She paused. "They've been… surprisingly cooperative."

Misato frowned.

"I don't need to remind you that even in this day and age the Geneva Conventions still apply, do I?"

"Those rules are only for prisoners of war."

"Captain," Aoba Shigeru announced, "reports are coming in now. Patching audio through."

_"Operations over. Mission complete."_

_

* * *

_

Shinji awoke in bed. The last memory he held was seeing a tall bearded man with tinted glasses calling him by name, and then…

He became aware of pain throughout his lower back and behind his head. It felt like they'd swelled to four times their normal size. He reached down and discovered his waist wrapped in gauze. A touch behind his head revealed the same.

He groaned.

He was about the close his eyes again when he realized he wasn't alone. Eyes adjusting to the harsh light, Shinji made out a woman he'd never seen before, with long lavender hair dressed in a military uniform. Next to her stood an elderly man he knew.

"Fuyutski-san? What are you doing here?"

The old man smiled.

"I'm surprised you remember me. Please, call me Kozou, Shinji-kun."

He tried to sit up and found he could not.

"Am I dreaming?" he moaned.

"Quite the contrary. You are very much awake. Be thankful that you are."

"Fuyutski-san," Shinji addressed the old man. He didn't bother to correct him. "Where am I?"

"In a military hospital in Tokyo."

"Why am I in a military hospital in Tokyo?"

Fuyutski hesitated.

"What do you remember?" he asked instead.

"I remember…" His memories became muddled, hazy. Something was wrong here; he just couldn't figure it out. "I can't remember what happened."

"That's to be expected," Fuyutski said, nodding. "You were kidnapped."

"My father," Shinji said. "They told me I could see him. Where is he?"

Fuyutski stood gaping a moment, then sighed.

"Shinji-kun," Fuyutski began, but abruptly stopped and sighed again. "I'm sorry, Shinji-kun. Your father is dead."

The two men stared at one another.

"No," Shinji stated. "My mother died. A long time ago. My father is still alive, somewhere. He left me to my uncle." The pain was getting to him. "My father is alive."

He tried to sit up again and failed.

"What's wrong with me?" he all but shouted.

The woman started towards him, but Fuyutski stopped her.

"Calm down, Shinji-kun."

"No! What the hell's going on?"

Fuyutski frowned.

"An… amount of spinal fluid was drained from you, rather sloppily I might add. You won't be able to move for awhile." Seeing Shinji's ashen face, he continued quickly. "But you will recover, as long as you rest up. Don't worry."

Shinji's mouth worked for a few minutes, but no sound came out.

"Why…?" he finally managed.

Fuyutski glanced to the woman and coughed.

"We're not really sure why," he lied. "We're investigating the matter now."

Shinji's eyes darted around the room. He began to pant.

"What's going on? Those men, th-those men said I could see my father again. My father isn't… he isn't dead."

"Those men kidnapped you," the woman said. "They worked for your father."

"What?"

Fuyutski turned on the woman, looking as if he was going to strike her. He muttered something Shinji couldn't hear and turned back to him.

"Your father was involved in some serious crimes against humanity, Shinji-kun."

The casual and continual use of his first name began to irritate him.

"He hired men to find you," the old man went on.

"Those men… Mana…" He shook his head.

Fuyutski twitched.

"But my father, he isn't dead," Shinji spoke. "You're mistaken. I saw him. He called me by my name."

"Ikari Gendo is dead," Fuyutski said. "I'm sorry, but he died when we were saving you."

"That isn't true."

He looked to the woman, hoping to find an ally.

"I'm sorry," she said, "it is true."

Shinji's face crumpled and tears threatened to spill out.

"It's okay, Shinji-kun," Fuyutski said.

Shinji cried, too weak to even cover his face. He cried, and they let him cry. At length he remembered he was a man, and made an effort to calm down.

"You're not a lawyer, are you?" he asked.

The old man straightened slowly.

"No. I'm a commander with the government. In the JSSDF."

Shinji struggled to comprehend.

"The military?"

He looked at the woman. She stared at him, mouth open a little.

"Yes," Fuyutski said. He closed his eyes. "And there's something else you should know."

The old man spoke and Shinji heard, but he did not want to hear. His weary mind assaulted by so much in so short a time at last exacted a toll and the light vanished from his sight. As consciousness faded, Shinji remembered seeing the lavender haired woman looking at him with eyes full of pity.

* * *

Mana inhaled deeply, preparing to enter the hospital room. She knocked twice, and went in. She found Shinji staring at the ceiling. His eyes were bloodshot. 

Despite herself, Mana smiled.

"Kind of like old times, huh? Staring at the ceiling, I mean."

"I had a nightmare," Shinji said. His voice was low, soft. "I dreamt that all these different people were saying terrible things about you, Mana." He almost smiled. "It all seemed so real."

He looked at her, his lips quivering.

"But it isn't, is it? It's not true, right?" His hands balled into fists. "It's just some joke. You're mad at me again for seeing you at work, right? Mana?"

She looked away and stayed silent for a time.

"I'm sorry," she said finally.

"Sorry," he said, as if hearing the word for the first time. "Sorry." He gave a short, strangled sob. "You're sorry for what?"

Mana bit her lip.

"Don't make me say it," she whispered.

"You're sorry for pretending to like me? For spying on me?"

She watched tears fall down his face.

"I hope I made a good report," he said. "I hope everyone had a good laugh watching my life."

"It wasn't like that," she said automatically. "I swear it wasn't."

Tears crawled out of his eyes.

"God, Mana, God." He struggled to sit up.

"Don't—"

"Shut up."

Mana stepped back like she'd been hit. She stood awaiting the next blow.

It took Shinji over five minutes to sit up. He braced himself against the bars on either side of the bed, panting and crying.

"Did you ever even care at all about me?" he cried, tears streaming down his face now. He rubbed them away roughly. "Damn it."

"Of course I did, I just…"

"It was all a job for you! Playing like you liked me, that you loved me!" His voice and demeanor suddenly became pleading. "How could you? How could you do this? You've lied to me for seven years, Mana. I wasted seven years with you."

"Don't say that. Shinji, God, I… I can't—" She wrung her hands in the air. "I am sorry." She slowly walked to the edge of his bed, touching the sheets. "I'm sorry, okay? I can't… I can't go back and change anything. I can't. But don't say you wasted our time together. I do love you, you know I do. I don't care about some job, I care about you."

"But you kept reporting!" Shinji yelled. "You kept telling them everything." He tried to look angry, threatening. "Did you tell them all the times I cried? Every time I was beaten up? All the clumsy passes I made at you? You should've just told me you'd sleep with me. It would have saved us a lot of time!"

"Shinji…!"

"How about how nervous I was in bed those first couple times? Huh? You and your friends have a laugh over how pathetic I am?"

"I love you, Shinji! I—" She stopped, and crawled beside him, groveling. "What can I do? What can I do to make it right?"

"There isn't anything you can do, Mana!

"Please," she begged, "tell me!"

"You can give back the last seven years of my life. You can take it away from those military bastards who watched my every move. I don't care what my father did. I don't even know what he did! God…" He bowed his head. "It isn't fair!"

Mana reached out for him. He swatted her away.

"Don't touch me!"

"Shinji…"

"To think I was going to marry you."

"What?" she gasped.

"Forget it. Forget it." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I never want to see you again."

Mana did not move.

"Didn't you hear me? Get out! I never want to see you again!" He gritted his teeth. "Get out!" he screamed into his lap.

He looked up at her as she started crying.

"No! You don't get to cry, Mana! You do not get to cry!"

Through tear-filled eyes she saw him. He was furious. It was the first time she'd seen him angry, truly angry. He'd always been so careful to hide any displeasure, to keep her happy and content. He had never raised his voice at her, never mocked her, even in jest. And now…

He hates me. I made him hate me.

By instinct, she thought of a million intimate jokes the two of them shared, private, sacred moments that would weaken his resolve. But in the end she could not call upon any of them. He was already so far away. She did not leave, but sat on the cold floor and wept.

Behind the one-way mirror looking in on Shinji's room, Misato stood alone, frowning, and deep in thought.

* * *

End of Chapter 1

Author notes: Phew. First fic, so please review it harshly. No pre-reader, as if you couldn't tell. Hopefully this is part one of a longer story, though I don't really know where I'm headed with it. The mystery of what Gendo was doing (I think it's obvious) will be revealed in the next chapter, maybe in number 3. Who knows, right? Also, I apologize in advance to all the Mana/ Shinji fans, but no, they will not be reconciled in this. Mana will pretty much be phased out after this chapter. Oh, and those of you with good taste in music will recognize the story's title; it's from a real pretty Radiohead song by the same name. Which I don't own, either.

I'll be the first to admit this is a little rough. I blame the fact that a lot happened in this chapter. The next one won't be so packed. Sorry.

Had a little trouble with the formatting. Please bear with me on this. Thanks.

Big thanks to E S Posthumus' Unearthed and the Gitaroo-Man soundtrack. You help me write good.


	2. Chapter 2

True Love Waits Chapter 2

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: I still don't own Eva. Can you believe it?

* * *

"You look pretty run-down." 

"Huh?"

Misato glanced away from the mirror overlooking Shinji's room and found Ritsuko smiling at her, bearing coffee.

"I said you look pretty run-down. Here," she said, handing Misato a hot cup, "you look like you could use this."

"I'd rather have a beer."

"Can't help with that." She sat down next to her. "You've been surprisingly dedicated to this kid." Misato gave her a funny look. "I'm not implying anything, but it's… strange."

"I just feel sorry for him."

They watched Shinji attempt to sit up and wince in pain. He gave up and lowered himself back onto the bed. He stared at the ceiling.

"I mean, he's had to go through so much in one day. His father died, he was kidnapped, his girlfriend's a spy... it's got to be rough."

"Humans are surprisingly adaptable creatures. He'll survive." Ritsuko glanced at her. "But it doesn't explain why you're so concerned."

"Well, the JSSDF kind of screwed him over. I feel a little responsible."

"It wasn't your idea to set him up. Don't sweat it."

Misato sipped her coffee.

"I know. But I couldn't help but feel commander Fuyutski wasn't as, I don't know, compassionate as he could have been. Like he resented the poor kid."

"Maybe he does."

"What do you mean?" Misato asked.

"I heard the commander used to know Ikari's wife, before she died. I don't know in what manner they knew each other, but…"

Misato turned back to Shinji.

"I see."

Inside the room Shinji continued to stare upward, long ago giving up on finding any kind of solace. His mouth worked slowly.

"Unfamiliar… ceiling…"

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 2

* * *

"I'm home," Misato called out. 

"Welcome home," came Rei's soft reply. She was sitting in the kitchen, studying. She closed her books as Misato entered the room, ensured that her solitude was gone. "How was work?"

"A bitch." Misato fished a beer out of the fridge and popped it open. "Never grow up, Rei. It's overrated." She didn't bother to taste her drink as she downed it.

"So is being young."

Misato chuckled as she got another beer.

Rei glanced up, her eyebrows rising for a breath.

"You were promoted," she said.

Misato unconsciously touched the new sigil on her collar.

"Oh, yeah. We had a mission a couple days ago. Didn't start so well but, well, actually it didn't end so well, either."

"Someone must have thought it did."

"I wonder…" Misato scratched the table with a nail.

"What?"

She snapped out of her reverie.

"Nothing. Forget it. How's school?"

"No changes."

"How are Hikari and Asuka?"

"Hikari's fighting with her older sister about some trivial thing, and Asuka almost came to blows with a jock today." Rei sighed, as if banishing the thoughts from her mind.

Misato smiled.

"You're awfully talkative today."

"Not really."

"Any cuties talk to you?"

Rei rolled her eyes.

"Oh, come on," Misato said, acting hurt. "There's got to be someone you like. What's his name?"

Rei collected her books and stood.

"I won't tell anyone, Rei, I promise." A sudden insight struck her. "Uh, maybe it's… a she?" Rei looked genuinely unnerved. "Hey, I'm cool with that. No problem."

The young girl sighed disgustedly and walked out of the kitchen.

"So it's a no go on liking girls, huh?" _Thank God._ "Come on, tell me." Misato followed her through the apartment, weaving in between empty cans, dirty clothes and unopened mail. "Who do you like?"

Rei abruptly spun on her.

"And what about you? Don't tell me you don't have anyone." _You of all people._

"Actually, no, I don't. I'm kind of enjoying being single."

Misato never saw the trap coming.

"Then that is my answer as well."

She slid her door shut leaving Misato staring at the plaque that read "Rei-chan's lovely suite".

"Damn." She went to get another beer.

Leaning against her door, Rei stared at her reflection in the mirror over her desk.

"Who could ever like that?"

She flopped down on her bed, and not for the first time, noticed the intricacies of her ceiling: the subtle texture of the paint, the small crack near the light fixture, the cobweb in the bottom left corner. Rei began to drift out of conscious thought, when from the kitchen, she was alerted to Misato's shrill post-beer celebratory scream. Rei pulled a pillow over her head.

"Who could ever like either of us?"

* * *

Misato crossed the threshold of the hospital room pushing a wheelchair in front of her. She acted surprised to find Shinji awake. 

"Oh, you're up. How are you?"

He peered at her for a moment, recognition slowly dawning.

"It's you."

She waited before remembering he didn't know her name.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Major Katsuragi Misato. I was, ah, I was involved with the operation a few days ago. I just wanted to apologize to you on how things turned out."

His eyes touched upon her uniform.

"So, did they send another woman to keep me company?"

Misato recoiled a step.

"N-no, of course not. I just wanted to see how you were doing. You're being released today, after all."

Shinji's gaze went back to the ceiling.

"Yeah." He sighed.

"I heard commander Fuyutski offered you a job here."

Shinji issued a humorless laugh.

"Please don't think too ill of us," Misato said. "We do a lot of good work here. I know you've been through a lot—"

"No you don't," he softly cut in.

Misato pursed her lips.

"No, I don't. But we are sorry things turned out the way they did. I'm sorry."

Still wearing a mirthless smile, Shinji turned back to her.

"So can you tell me what my father was involved in?"

She looked away.

"It's classified."

"Of course." He fell quiet. "Then tell me what you do."

"I'm field operations director," she said without thinking. _Stupid!_

"So you ordered my father shot," he said, his voice low and shaky.

"No! N-no, I wanted him taken alive, I mean, we didn't want him killed."

_That's a lie,_ she thought. _I don't know what we were planning on doing with him. _She found him staring at her.

"Why should I believe anything you say?"

Misato forcefully reminded herself what he'd been through. She sighed.

"There's nothing I can say that will make you feel better. I can't think of anything anyone could say."

"Then why are you here?"

She tried a small smile.

"To wheel you out."

* * *

"So we're just letting him get away? Unbelievable." Dr. Soryu shook her head. "Absolutely unbelievable." She spun her chair around to face the major and Ritsuko. 

"There isn't a whole lot we can do, short of imprisoning him," Misato said. "Ikari Shinji hasn't broken any laws, and he isn't a danger to anyone."

"Isn't a danger? How can you say that after what his father pulled? What a sick man. Honestly, trying to clone your dead spouse back to life. Sick."

The three sat in the science lab, surrounded by stacks of files and data disks.

"And using his own son to get a complete DNA structure after his old lab was seized," Ritsuko added. "After all he's been through, I'm inclined to agree with Dr. Soryu. Ikari's son might prove dangerous."

Misato frowned.

"What happened to all that 'humans are adaptable creatures' talk?"

"Humans are also apt to change their minds. He didn't leave here on the best terms, so yes; I think he'd carry a grudge." Ritsuko picked up a nearby folder. "He's also fairly skilled. Remember that Trident project a year or two back?"

"Yeah, it was scrapped because it was too expensive to be of any practical use."

"Men and their toys," Soryu spat.

"Well, it turns out Ikari's son was a part of that."

"How'd that happen?"

"Yeah," Misato said, "I thought he worked for a software corporation."

Ritsuko nodded.

"He does. Turns out most of his work was being forwarded directly to the JSSDF without anyone knowing. He completed most the Trident's OS himself without ever realizing it."

"Really?" Dr. Soryu said. "Then that validates my point about him being a danger."

"What can he do?" Misato asked, frowning. "Build a Trident in his garage and go on a rampage? Come on."

"Yet again you're thinking too callously. He could go public about the spying. That would create a stink."

"That would be bad," Ritsuko admitted. "Or he could try to learn what his father was doing."

Misato shook her head.

"I don't think he'll do either. He didn't strike me as the kind of person to seek revenge."

"Well, you do know him the best out of any of us," Soryu said, grinning. "Your taste in men has always been… unique."

"Get off it," Misato growled. "I just think he's a nice guy in a bad situation."

"Losing someone can change you," Ritsuko said, wishing she had a cigarette.

They fell silent, pondering their own private losses. Soryu snorted delicately, as if the whole concept of loss was beneath her.

"When people change, it's usually for the worse. Loss never begets anything good."

"Speaking from personal experience?"

"I'm speaking from common sense."

"Wait a minute," Misato said. "Are you implying that Ikari's kid will wind up like his father?"

Soryu shrugged.

"It's within the realm of possibility. Ikari went crazy after his wife died; his son might follow suit after his father died. The apple rarely falls far from the tree." The doctor luxuriated a hand through her short red hair and glanced at Ritsuko. "Anyway, it's amazing a fool like Ikari got as far as he did. Well, I guess we know who to thank for that."

The tenuous professional association between the two scientists broke. Ritsuko, for the sake of discretion, decided to wage her battles in private. She stood up to leave.

"Excuse me."

Misato waited until the blonde had left before attacking.

"That was bitchy, even for you," she said.

"I can't help it if she has thin skin. Besides, it's true." Dr. Soryu stood. "If she can't take it, she should move aside."

"Even so, you could show a little compassion. Her mother just died, you know."

"And? I'm sorry it happened, but life goes on. My mother's dead too, but no one walks on eggshells for me. I've read your bio too, so—"

"Watch it," Misato warned.

Soryu opened her mouth to retort, but smiled instead.

"I'll stop now, before I say something I regret. After all, it's best if we stay on good terms, major. For our daughters. Well, I mean for my Asuka and for Rei. Don't you agree?"

Misato clenched her jaw and left without responding.

* * *

Misato exited the science lab to find Ritsuko and Fuyutski in discussion. She was making sharp hand gestures and speaking fast, while he made placating motions. When they saw Misato, the doctor stormed off. The major asked what was wrong. 

"Take a guess," Fuyutski said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "What can I do for you, major?"

"Actually, sir, I was wondering about the Ikari case."

His genial mood vanished.

"What is it?"

"Sir, is Ikari's son still under surveillance?"

Fuyutski regarded her coldly.

"That is none of your concern, major."

Misato was not deterred.

"I just like to close my cases completely, sir."

"Do I need to remind you what your duties are?" Fuyutski looked at her like a stern school master. "Major Katsuragi, your duty begins and ends in the field of operations. That is what you trained for, that is what you are used for. Do not forget that." He turned, done with the conversation. "Now if you'll excuse me, our resident genius needs a reminder as well." He stalked off towards Dr. Soryu's lab.

* * *

Misato found Ritsuko sitting on a bench outside the science facility smoking. 

"Those things will kill you, you know."

"I think I'd welcome it."

"Don't talk like that," Misato said. "Seriously." She watched Ritsuko blow a thin stream of smoke. "Don't take Soryu to heart. Her crown's a bit too tight."

"Don't remind me."

Misato frowned.

"You know, that offer still stands."

"What offer?"

"Take a couple days off."

Ritsuko smiled wanly.

"Maybe I will. I haven't seen my grandmother in awhile. The cats are probably lonely."

Misato grinned.

"How are you holding up?" Ritsuko asked. She tapped her cigarette and sprinkled the ground with ash.

"Oh, you know me. Nothing a six-pack can't handle."

Ritsuko issued a rare giggle.

"I suppose that's true. But you've been a little off since the Ikari case."

I've _been a little off? You have the reason to be off, not me._

"It's nothing, don't worry about it. You've got enough on your plate." Misato watched her smoke. "You know what you should do?" she said suddenly. "Adopt a kid."

Ritsuko looked certain Misato was crazy.

"Seriously. It'll be fun. Get a teenager, they're barrels of laughs."

The blonde chuckled softly.

"Troubles with Rei?"

"None but the usual." She gave an angry sigh. "Why did I think raising a kid would be easy?"

"I don't think you ever did. You might not have known exactly what you were getting yourself into, but I doubt you were arrogant enough to think child rearing would be simple."

"You 'doubt'?"

"Okay, I'm sure. But you know, in a way, I envy you. The desire for children is universal, but the strength to raise them isn't. It makes me happy to know there are people out there who can do it right."

"Geez, you're making me blush here, Ritsu. Let up, already."

"Rei seems like a pretty together kid," she lied. "You must be doing something right."

Misato laughed through her nose.

"Thanks."

Neither woman noticed the door behind them slide open, nor a figure approach them.

"Hello, ladies. Long time no see."

Misato gave a strangled yelp.

"It can't be…"

"Oh," came the smooth reply, "but it can."

* * *

He had stayed awake all night, waiting, knowing that sooner or later she'd have to leave the apartment. He checked his watch. It was eight-thirty four a.m. She was probably going to work. 

_To report in,_ Shinji thought.

He crossed the street once she was out of sight. He cursed his back, still not completely healed, and the cane he was forced to depend on. He entered the apartment and didn't bother to remove his shoes. He packed all he could fit into two bags and looked at the room they shared. Everything was carefully arranged and dusted, impeccably clean like the rest of the place, an old compulsion he'd never rid himself of. Slightly disgusted with how many things he'd accumulated with Mana, Shinji decided he could live without most of it.

_Most of this stuff is hers, anyway._

He saw his old cello in a corner and a thought struck him. He rummaged in the closet for a few minutes, throwing things across the floor. Finally he unearthed a beaten up shoe box. Dusting off the top he opened it, revealing his old SDAT player. Hoping it still worked, he shoved it into his pocket. His gaze fell back on the cello.

_I'll have to carry it,_ he thought.

Moving two full bags and a cello with a bad back and one arm was not as simple as Shinji had initially believed. Somehow he managed to the door, stopping for one last look at his old life. He briefly debated leaving a note. A shot of pain from his back provided the answer.

* * *

Now that he was free, Shinji needed to decide where to go. Having no close friends, that option was out. He couldn't face his uncle right now. He had almost no money to his name, and the government had been watching every move he made since age fourteen. 

Shinji dropped his bags in disgust.

_They probably already know where I am._ He choked back his tears. They were not to be beaten back this time. Shinji collapsed outside his apartment door and wept.

"Damn it."

He threw his cane across the hall.

"God damn it."

He curled his legs into his chest and hugged them. His back ached, but he did not care. His head throbbed, but he did not care. In his pocket, though, he felt something dig into his thigh. It made him stand again and dry his tears. Frustration, anger, and sadness sped through his body, making him shake.

"Damn it, Mana."

He picked up his bags and cane. Crying wouldn't solve anything now. It was too late for regret, for sadness, for love. It was too late for him. He spared a breath looking at their door and remembered.

"Goodbye, Mana."

Shinji walked down the hall and did not look back.

He didn't tell the landlord he was leaving; she could explain it any way she wanted. He passed a neighbor on his way out but ignored her.

His mind was made up.

* * *

Across the street she waited, knowing that sooner or later he'd have to leave. She checked her watch. Eight fifty-eight. She had no idea where he would go now. She had no idea what he would do. Things had hit him so fast and the harsh ways of the world were still so alien to Shinji. Her heart screamed at her to rush over to him, to beg forgiveness, to try and make things right one last time. Her heart was silenced when she saw his face: angry, determined, tear-stained. There would be no second chances. 

Mana watched him leave the apartment complex and hobble down the street.

"Goodbye, Shinji."

* * *

"Kaji-san?" Misato bolted upright. "Wh-what are you doing here?" 

"Well," Kaji said, smiling, "that's a nice way to say hello when we haven't seen each other in forever." He sat down next to Ritsuko. "Hey there, it's been awhile." He nodded towards her diminished cigarette. "Got another?"

"Sorry," she said, wearing a fake smile. "Fresh out."

"No worries." He looked back to the still gaping major. "So happy to see me you can't speak?"

"H-hardly! Why are you here?"

He shrugged.

"I was transferred from Kyoto. And I am not one to question our superiors' wisdom. So, here I am, and glad to be here."

"How convenient," Ritsuko said. "Misato finally meets a nice guy and you show up."

Kaji smiled, scratching his chin.

"Oh really? Anyone I know?"

"Maybe. Ikari Shinji."

"Now hold on, I—"

"Ikari? As in Ikari Gendo?" Kaji was genuinely disturbed. "Katsuragi, really. I thought you had better taste than that. After all, you dated me."

"I am not involved with Ikari Shinji!" Misato yelled.

"There, there. Don't be so grumpy. You'll get wrinkles. I'd rather have you beautiful than distinguished."

"I had hoped you'd have grown up a little since we last met," Misato shot at him. "Or at least learned how to shave properly."

"Ah, you still care about how I look. It's a promising sign."

"Shut up!"

"Okay, okay," Ritsuko said, pulling out another cigarette. Kaji frowned. "Take it someplace else. It was cute at first, but now I'm tired of it."

"You heard the lady," Kaji said. "Let's go, Katsuragi."

"Don't you follow me!"

Misato stormed off. Kaji watched her go.

"Say, Ritsu, is that Ibuki girl seeing anyone?"

* * *

Rei watched as Asuka paraded around the classroom, waving her exam over her head like a banner. Even the slightest irritation she would normally feel at the display was too much today. 

"Yeah! Who's number one? Who's number one?"

She turned on her heel and slapped the paper down on Rei's desk. The blue-haired girl slowly looked up at Asuka's grinning face.

"Well, Second? Who's First now?"

Rei sighed.

"I suppose that would be you."

"Damn right it's me, Second."

"Congratulations," she replied flatly. She turned to the window.

"Well, well. How big of you to finally realize I'm the superior student."

Asuka frowned. Her victory over Rei wasn't as satisfying as she imagined. Well, no matter. As long as that blue haired creep knew where things stood.

"Aw, don't feel so bad. There's always next time," she said, trying to draw out her rival's fighting side.

"Sure."

Asuka blew out a breath.

"Whatever. Go stare out your little window to avoid reality. See if I care." She swiped her exam up and left.

Rei sighed as someone else approached her.

"Don't take her too seriously," Hikari said, leaning close to whisper.

"I don't."

"It's just that, you know, her mother pushes her hard I guess, and she is really proud…"

Rei held up a hand.

"I don't care."

"Oh." Hikari bit her lip, deciding if that was a good thing. "Well, second place is nothing to sneeze at. Don't worry."

"I didn't get second," Rei admitted.

Hikari blinked.

"Really? Um… what did you get?"

Rei handed her exam over.

"Oh! Well, I mean, tenth is still good, too. You shouldn't—I mean you passed, and that's what's important, right?" Hikari leaned closer. "Are you… I mean is everything okay, Rei?"

She looked up and frowned.

Behind her a student with glasses and a camcorder was lowering himself to the ground discreetly, attempting to view Hikari's underwear. One look from Rei sent him back into his chair.

"I'm fine," she said. Her tone announced the conversation was over.

"Oh, um, great. Well, uh, hang in there."

Though she stopped speaking, she did not move. She stood before Rei, a worried expression covering her face. Rei briefly scanned the room to keep from looking at Hikari. She saw Asuka chatting in the center of several anonymous girls. They were not too subtly fawning over her, wearing polite smiles and tired eyes. Asuka noticed Rei's gaze and stuck her tongue out. Rei moved on. The camcorder nerd was reviewing some footage and blushing, and there was a jock hanging over his shoulder. Both jumped a little when they noticed her. Countless others were in a world of their own, passing the moments with callous ignorance.

Finally Rei gave up and looked back out the window, peering up at the sky.

"It looks like a storm is coming," Hikari said.

* * *

It rained. 

The sky was black and hung low. It covered from horizon to horizon like a shroud. It was not a gentle rain. It was as if God had pierced the clouds and they were bleeding over the earth. Men holding newspapers over their heads, couples sharing small umbrellas, children dashing between the drops, all sought to escape the downpour.

The town was small, only one school, only a few thousand living here upon the planet's face, draining away their lives with blissful indifference to things deemed great and noble. Within them, sometimes, an idea would emerge and span many peoples and places, but to most of the people most of the time it was a small, dark, pitiable site to exist in.

So it was with little surprise that a lone figure stood on the rain-soaked bridge over the swelling river. It stood in the rain and waited, to become one with the rain, to vanish from the world.

Shinji's free hand reached into his pocket and balled around the ring. He stood there, in the rain, in the dark, and held it. Upon some invisible signal he withdrew it. The engagement ring was not extraordinary, or large, or beautiful. It was simple, and small, and plain. The diamond was barely a pebble.

He twirled it between his thumb and forefinger once before lobbing it into the river. He could not see where it landed.

* * *

End of Chapter 2

Author's notes: heh, I always wondered about Misato and Rei living together. Now I know. They live in a total sty. Not really surprising. Sorry Asuka's mom came off as such a bitch. It just sort of happened. Honestly, I didn't have a lot to go on. Since there aren't any Evas in this story, one could assume she's still a world-class workaholic and not, you know, crazy. Oh, Rei's line about "Who could ever like either of us?"? A bit heavy handed I admit, but so what? As Nathan Detroit might say, "So sue me."

Poor Ritsu. Imagine not just being in your mother's shadow, but in another genius' as well. Ah well.

Heh. Kaji is fun to write.

Man, I should've listed this under angst. Not to worry though, next chapter will be a bit brighter. Stay tuned.

I still don't own Radiohead, either.

Big thanks to the Evangelion classical 3-pack set and Radiohead's _I Might be Wrong_ live album. You help me write good.

Even bigger thanks to my reviewers. Thanks! I really appreciate all the feedback. It helps me stay motivated to write. I apologize to all of you I seem to have disappointed saying that this won't be a Mana/ Shinji fic, but I hope I can still produce an original and worthwhile story for everyone. I hope you continue to read and review. Thanks again!


	3. Chapter 3

True Love Waits Chapter 3

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: hated chapter 2? Wait until you read this one! Seriously, I don't own Eva or Radiohead.

* * *

"Ikari Shinji-kun?"

"Huh?"

He looked up and found the pretty lavender haired woman who had wheeled him out of the hospital three months ago.

"Katsuragi Misato-san?" he said, finding himself pleased he remembered her. She grinned as he said her name.

She was out of uniform, wearing, in Shinji's naïve opinion, a very short skirt and a beaten up leather jacket. Clothes fit her very well, he decided.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. He was, honestly, the last person she ever expected to see in Tokyo again.

"I was, uh, transferred," he replied, still in shock, "to the main branch."

"Of Ichiban Industries, right?" she asked, already knowing the answer. _He still doesn't know he really works for the JSSDF?_

"How did—" He stopped himself, realizing who he was talking to. "Of course you'd know that."

An awkward silence fell over them, and Shinji stared at the ground. Misato tried to draw his attention again.

"Maybe, I don't know… I'm not busy right now. Do you want to grab a coffee or something?" Seeing his slightly frightened face, she quickly covered her mistake. "I mean, it isn't a date or, or anything, just, you know, coffee. I could, uh, tell you about other interesting people I've wheeled out of hospitals."

He looked at her, almost through her.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly. Misato noticed how tired he looked. "I don't think that would be a good idea." He waited a moment, unsure how to leave politely. "Well, it was… nice seeing you again, Katsuragi-san." He gave her an awkward wave and left.

She watched him disappear into the throng of humanity, swallowed up whole.

She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 3

* * *

_It was a mistake,_ Misato thought. _A stupid, weak, infantile mistake. _

She massaged her temples as she waited for the elevator doors to shut.

_It was just a one-time slip up, nothing more._

"Hold that elevator!"

Misato jammed the shut button without opening her eyes. She felt a rush of wind.

"Whew! Made it." Kaji bent over, panting. "Good morning, sunshine."

Yes, definitely a mistake.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"You're awfully uppity this fine morning. What's got your panties in a twist?"

"You should know, you son of a bitch!"

Kaji flinched, but retained his smile.

"Well, straight to the point as always, I see." He chuckled, at what, she did not know. "What's the problem? I thought that after last weekend we were back together."

"_I_ did. You didn't. I wasn't the one to go out and find the most available thing on two legs the next night!"

"Oh, come on, Katsuragi. That was nothing. I had a few too many drinks. Besides, it's not like we have a leashes around each other's necks." He thought. "Unless you want leashes."

"Why can't I ever have a real discussion with you? This is serious."

"It was just a fling." Kaji vainly fought to see Misato's logic. "It doesn't matter."

"I don't…" She struggled for the right words. "I don't have 'flings' anymore, Kaji. I'm not some horny teenager looking for a cheap lay. I'm almost—" Misato deflated. "I'm almost thirty." She looked at him. "We can't play around forever, Kaji. It's time to grow up."

His smile vanished, and he adopted a grave air.

"Your words have touched me, Katsuragi." He went down on one knee. "And I have seen the error of my ways. Misato… will you marry me?"

She was not impressed.

"Uh huh. Marry you. Right. Where's the ring?"

"Um…. I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"You thinking ahead would be out of character."

"Now hold on I—" He stopped, puzzled. "Why, wait, what's this in my pocket?" He reached in, fishing. Soon he pulled something out, carefully covering it. "What could this be? It almost feels like…"

Misato held her breath.

"…a ring."

Kaji unfurled his fist and let her see.

"A… condom, Kaji?" Misato's hands became fists. "You pig."

She started hitting him. Not playfully, but with intent to harm.

"Katsuragi, I—ow—just thought—ow—that was what you wanted to hear. Ow." Kaji rubbed his battered arms.

"You don't propose to someone just because you think you should!"

"Then when do you?"

She flushed angrily.

"You know damn well when!"

Kaji coughed. He decided on a different approach.

"Come on, Katsuragi. That girl meant nothing to me."

"And that makes it okay?"

"Alright… she meant the world to me. There. How about dinner tonight?"

Misato pulled her hair.

"You just don't get it!"

"I suppose not. Care to show me?"

He pinned her against the elevator wall, grinning.

"I'm warning you, Kaji…"

"Just forget it, Katsuragi. You're the only one I care about."

_God, he just has to keep wearing that amazing aftershave, doesn't he?_

"Then act like it."

She slapped him when she felt his breath on her face. He staggered backwards.

"That hurt."

"Good!"

She hit the emergency stop button and forced the doors open.

"Don't follow me!"

Misato struck the basement switch and stepped off.

"Katsuragi—"

"Go to hell!"

* * *

"Why did I sleep with him?" Misato whined.

"I didn't really want to know that," Ritsuko said.

The two women were in Misato's cramped office, hiding out from actual work. Sitting, the two couldn't see each other over the pile of papers on her desk. That was just fine, Misato reasoned. She didn't feel up to facing anyone right now.

"I feel sorry for you," Ritsuko went on, "but you knew his history, his pattern. You knew him. Did you forget why you two broke up in the first place?"

"I know, I know. But he can… he can be real charming sometimes. And it was fun. Being with him is fun."

"That's what the other girl must've thought, too."

"Why'd I bother telling you anyway?" Misato grumbled.

"I'm not entirely sure of that myself."

Misato decided no more was needed on the topic and fell silent. Ritsuko, not completely comfortable with the subject to begin with, deferred to her. The major squirmed in her chair, the quiet too big and lending itself to depressing thoughts; she needed to speak about something else to distract herself.

"You'll never guess who I ran into yesterday," Misato said, peeking over the desk.

"Who?"

"No, come on, guess. It'll be fun."

"I'd rather not."

"It will be fun," Misato growled.

"Okay, okay. Um, I don't know, your military school academy teacher."

"Nope."

Ritsuko sighed.

"Okay… one of Rei's friends."

"Nuh uh, not even close."

Ritsuko was tempted to strike at a sore spot.

_Your father?_

"I give up," she said instead.

"It was—" She stopped suddenly. "Actually, never mind. You'll make a big deal out of it. Like I'm stalking the poor kid."

"Well now you have to tell me."

Misato mumbled something.

"I promise not to tell anyone or freak out," Ritsuko said, angry at how much like a school child she sounded.

"It was… Ikari Shinji."

The doctor blinked.

"Oh! Him! What in the world is he doing in the city?"

"He was transferred to Tokyo. Convenient, huh?"

Ritsuko frowned.

"Too convenient. He still doesn't know, does he?"

"No," Misato sighed.

"Hold on. You won't tell him, will you?"

The major waved her hands.

"Of course not. It's not like I even know where he is. Besides, you said it yourself. It isn't my problem."

"I did say that, didn't I?"

Misato squinted angrily.

"What are you implying?"

"That you have no professional detachment. You get too close to your missions and you always feel bad when they turn out poorly."

"It's not my fault I was blessed with an abundance of human compassion."

"In this line of work, it's more of a curse."

* * *

"Well, what do you think of Hitori Kozu?"

"Cute, not much of a talker though. Major issues."

"Okay," Hikari said. "What about Kiseki Daisuke?"

Asuka stretched and sighed.

"A loudmouth with a serious ego."

Hikari frowned.

"If you're so picky you'll never get a boyfriend."

"And if you're so shy, you'll never get one."

The brunette recoiled from the personal attack and turned to Rei.

"How about you? Anyone catch your eye?"

The three girls sat in the living room of Misato's apartment, the TV and stereo blaring, food and drinks spread around them, some indistinguishable from the junk on the floor. School was out for the weekend, Misato was at work, and life, for the moment, was good.

"Ha!" Asuka laughed. "The day wondergirl gets a boyfriend is the day I dye my hair black."

"Asuka! Don't be mean." Hikari switched to class rep mode without thinking. "Really, Rei, is there anyone?"

"No," she said, blankly staring at the TV.

"Don't worry; puberty will catch up to you one day."

"Asuka!"

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

The redhead stood up and went to the kitchen. Hikari turned back to Rei.

"I swear I won't tell anyone," she whispered quickly. "Please tell me."

Rei stared at the screen.

"There has to be someone."

The albino girl shut her eyes.

"One thing for your guardian, Ayanami," Asuka said, returning with more food. "She always has interesting junk around. Though how she can drink this domestic swill is beyond me." Thus stated, Asuka took a Yebisu and helped herself to a mouthful.

"Asuka!" Hikari yelped, outraged. "You're only fourteen!"

"Thanks, Sherlock. You solved another one. Calm down. I've been drinking since I was a kid. In Germany it's no big deal."

"Which would explain a lot of things," Rei muttered.

Asuka cringed as she finished the can, sticking her tongue out to show her distaste.

"Yuck! And she actually has a fridge full of this stuff? That explains a lot of things."

"Asuka! You shouldn't take Katsuragi-san's things. What if she notices?"

The redhead made a show of looking around the apartment.

"Like she'll notice one empty in this sty. Cool off." She saw Rei. "What? Is she zoned out again?"

Hikari shrugged.

"Sorry," Asuka said, "I forgot boys make her uncomfortable. Hell, people in general make her uncomfortable."

"She just needs to meet the right one." Hikari thought, tapping her chin. "How about… Nagisa Kaworu?" She colored a little as she imagined the lithe upper-classman.

"He's a homo," Asuka said, sniffing.

Hikari's fantasy crumbled.

"W-what? Really?"

"A total guy-magnet. Trust me." She snickered. "He might be a match for frosty here. They look enough alike."

"Don't make fun of her condition!" Hikari hissed. "You promised me to try and be nice!"

Asuka held up her hands.

"Alright, alright." She slumped down on the couch. "You could tell her to be a better hostess, you know."

"It's her house; she can act however she wants."

Rei wondered when Misato was getting home.

"Besides," Hikari confessed, "guys aren't everything."

"Admitting defeat? I'm not. I just haven't found the right man yet. I tire of the perverted little boys at our school. I wish a real man would come into my life."

"We're fourteen, Asuka. If a man came into your life I'd have to call the cops."

"What do you mean? I'm already way more mature than you two, or anyone else in our grade. It isn't my fault no one can match my natural intelligence and greatness. That's why I need a man."

Hikari sighed.

"Asuka…"

"I'm so bored of grade school. I wish my mom would just let me skip. But no, she says I need a well-rounded education. Whatever that means."

"Asuka, your mom is just doing what she thinks is best." Hikari had forgotten how many times they'd had this conversation. "And besides…"

"Besides nothing. I'm sick and tired of everyone treating me like a kid when I'm clearly not." The redhead kicked her feet in the air. "I need another beer."

Hikari gave up, reclining into the couch. She turned to Rei, unsure if she was asleep or awake.

"Oh," Asuka sighed, full of drama as she headed for the kitchen, "when will a real man notice me?"

* * *

Ibuki Maya made her way to the vending machines, intent on buying a sugary soft drink. When they came into view, she frowned. Her plans were to make a quick stop. They did not include interacting with the new guy, a scruffy-looking older man with a penchant for hitting on every female within earshot.

_Maybe he'll leave me alone,_ she hoped.

He did not.

"Hey, Maya-chan. How are you?" Kaji asked, hopping off the bench. He tossed a canned coffee into the trash.

"We…we hardly know each other, agent Kaji-san, please don't refer to me so familiarly."

In all fairness, Maya did know a little about him, mostly gossip overheard between the major and the blonde doctor. Her own sempai, Dr. Soryu, was indifferent to the man.

"Then we should spend some time together, get to know each other. After all, we are co-workers. Say, over dinner tonight?"

"Um, I'm really quite busy with Dr. Soryu and the computer systems." She fidgeted as Kaji maneuvered himself between her and the soda machine. "I won't be free for awhile. Um, sorry."

Kaji frowned. Even his frown looked like a weird grin, Maya thought.

"Hmm, that is tragic. Well, how about now? You're on break, aren't you?"

"Um, actually, I just came down here to buy a soda."

Kaji leaned against the machine.

"You drink sodas and still manage to keep that girlish figure?" he asked. "I'm impressed. You must work out."

Maya sighed, but reminded herself to stay polite.

"No, not really. Work keeps me pretty busy."

Kaji laughed.

"You know what they say about all work and no play." He slowly started towards her. "It seems like you could use a little more play."

"Soryu will skin both of you alive if Maya isn't at peak performance," Misato said, quickly covering the distance from the elevator to the vending machines.

"Major!"

"Katsuragi," Kaji said, frowning. "Come to spoil my fun, are do you want to join in?"

"Shut up." She shoved Kaji out of the way. "Get your drink, Maya. I'll personally escort you back to the lab."

The young tech bowed quickly.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Kaji watched with waning libido as Maya selected her drink, Misato standing guard like a junkyard dog.

"All right," he said, momentarily defeated. "I can take a hint. Maya-chan, I'll see you later." He gave her wink. "Katsuragi, always a pleasure."

Misato watched him leave with a mixture of disgust and fatigue.

"Thank you, major," Maya said, retrieving a cola. "He scares me a little."

Misato smiled.

"He scares everybody. Don't sweat it."

They began walking together, back to the lab.

"Um, major?"

"Yes?"

"You, ah, you don't really have to escort me. I'm fine now."

Misato shook her head as she rang for the elevator.

"There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Oh, um, I'm really not interested in him, major. Don't worry."

The older woman tried not to laugh.

"No, no, that's not it."

They entered the lift, but Misato held off pressing for a floor. She cleared her throat.

"Can I trust you, Ibuki?"

"Major?"

"I'm looking for some information, but I can't go through normal channels to get it…"

Maya sighed. Being second to the head of the computer systems was fraught with peril. Everyone and their brother came to you looking for "information" that only she had access to. She was getting quite good at finding new and creative ways to say no. Even if it was a commanding officer.

"Major Katsuragi, I'm sorry, but I really can't help you."

Misato frowned.

"You're not even going to hear me out?"

Ibuki shook her head.

"Sorry, but I can't. Dr. Soryu is very strict about this sort of thing, and I don't want any trouble. Sorry."

"It doesn't matter that this is for a good cause?"

Maya cringed.

"I guess not," Misato said.

"Sorry, major," Ibuki said, believing she'd destroyed what little relationship she had with her.

Misato shrugged it off. As the elevator started down to the lab, Misato made her way to the command center, running ideas over in her head.

_I could hack it myself… but then I'd probably be found and fired. I could ask Dr. Soryu… no. Ritsuko? Doubtful. Go after the old man again?_

The command center was quiet, sparsely populated today. With no operations planned, the JSSDF facility could be run by surprisingly few people. She spotted Hyuuga and Aoba at their familiar stations, running diagnostics and maintenance checks.

"Good morning, major."

A thought made itself known, and she smiled.

"Makoto-kun, I need a favor."

* * *

Shinji sat in his cubicle, staring at his terminal, trying to stay awake. Finding an apartment in the city had not been as easy as expected, and with his limited funds, he was forced to stay in a seedy motel for the past few weeks. The dirt and ambience was bad enough, but the noisy neighbors were far worse.

He covered his mouth as he yawned, hunched over in his chair.

_It's like I have two newlywed couples on either side of me,_ he thought. _I really need to find a real apartment soon._

He tried to turn his attention back to work. Usually the system programs provided a leisurely type of entertainment, often challenging, sometimes enjoyable. He had long ago admitted this wasn't what he wanted to do with his life, but it was easier than thinking about what he wanted to do with his life.

_I play the cello,_ he thought idly, moving the mouse to clear the screen saver. _Maybe I could do something with that. _He checked his mail, hoping for a distraction. _Sure. Wanted: government black-listed son of a criminal with mediocre cello skills._ _Apply in person._

Shinji sighed. His life, although never particularly rosy, was looking worse every second. Having spent his quota of "Why me?"s for the day, Shinji refocused on work to take his mind off his current troubles.

His fellow employees, however, did not take kindly to Shinji's dedication. A number of catcalls and whistles worked their way to his office space, derailing his work ethic.

"Hey, new kid," his neighbor called over the cubicle wall, "check out the babe!"

Shinji, not in the least bit interested, did not look.

"Hey! She's coming this way!"

His neighbor, a pudgy man with thinning hair and thick glasses, smoothed his tie and hopped a little in excitement.

"I wonder if I'm her type?" he asked.

Shinji sighed and stood up, bothered enough to see what the fuss was about.

Almost every male employee and a few females were standing, openly staring at the beauty walking down the aisles, searching for someone. A few silent prayers went to God that they'd be found by her.

"Katsuragi-san?" Shinji said, wondering.

His neighbor whirled on him.

"You know her? Damn, kid, I never had you pegged as a lady-killer." He sat down in a huff.

"I don't know her. We met in the hospital a while ago."

"Oh. Get to play nurse with her?"

Shinji ignored the lewd comment and blushed a shade as Misato finally located him. She waved.

"What could she want now?"

"Ikari-kun!" Misato hurried over to him, a little out of breath. "Got a sec?"

"Um, now?" Shinji saw his manager lumbering towards him. "Is it important?"

"Very."

"I guess I could take a break…"

Shinji's manager held up a sweaty palm.

"Ikari, get back to work." He looked at Misato, and the trail of eyes following her. "Are you responsible for all this commotion?"

"Oh, uh, sorry, sir," Shinji said, bowing. "It's my fault. She was looking for me."

The man scanned Misato, raising an eyebrow.

"Keep your personal life on the outside, Ikari. Get back to work." He spun around. "That goes for the rest of you, too!"

Soon the office was thundering with the sound of keystrokes. Shinji sat down and his fingers began flying over the keyboard with a mind all their own. He risked a nervous glance up at Misato, pleading with her to leave.

"Does this job mean so much to you?" she asked.

"It's all I have," he whispered.

Misato frowned.

_I'm about to destroy what's left of his world._

The manager coughed, drawing her attention to him.

"Do you have some business here, miss?"

She looked past him, and stared at Shinji's cowering form. She had some inkling of how important her next action would be.

"I'm with the JSSDF," she announced, and flashed her ID. "I need to speak to this man."

The manager stepped back, glancing at Shinji. A round of murmurs broke out around him, and the gossip train was well under way.

"Did you hear?" asked a secretary watching Misato lead Shinji out of the building. "The cute new kid was arrested."

"Oh no. For what?" asked another.

"I heard it was treason."

"Really? I heard it was espionage."

"Wow. A spy novel in our little office. Who'd have thought it?"

* * *

Twilight bathed them. She led him to a bench outside the office, next to a bus terminal. She nodded at him to sit and he did. He waited for her with his hands in his lap, a light sweat on his brow.

_How can I tell him? I'm about to destroy what little he has left._

"If… if this is about my leaving, I'm sorry," Shinji said. "I just couldn't stay with her anymore." Misato shook out of her thoughts and saw him near tears. "Please don't make me go back."

"So you left her."

He nodded quickly, ashamed.

"Did you love her?" she asked.

He nodded again, still shamed.

"But how could I keep doing it? She was tailored for me. I… I just couldn't."

Misato sat down next to him, the old wood creaking.

"Do you hate her?"

Shinji sighed.

"I don't know. I've had three months, and I don't know." He chanced a look at her. "Um, what is this about, Katsuragi-san?"

"Do you hate the JSSDF?"

"Yes."

His reply was immediate, automatic. Misato smiled softly.

"Do you hate me?"

"I hardly know you." Shinji shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm about to tell you something very important," Misato said. _At great personal risk to myself._ "Please listen to everything I have to say. Don't leave, don't interrupt. Okay?"

He scratched his arm.

"O-okay."

She sighed, hugging herself.

"Ikari-kun, I can't imagine how difficult these last few months have been on you, but I'm afraid I'm going to make them harder." She stared ahead, afraid to meet his eyes. "Do you know what you've worked on over the years?"

Shinji hesitated, unsure if now he could interrupt.

"Um, software for computers, some games…"

She gently shook her head, cutting him off.

"Your… your girlfriend Mana spied on you. Do you think that was the extent of the JSSDF's network for you?"

He gave her a look that asked _there's more?_

"There's a lot more. Ikari-kun, Ichiban Industries is, as far as I can tell, a front for you. Sure, it makes computers and games, but for you, your work is prioritized by the JSSDF." She glanced at him, hoping he was putting things together. He wasn't. Misato sighed through her teeth. "You've been working for them since you got the job. But you never knew. You were never supposed to know."

Shinji blinked.

"What?" he whispered.

"You work for the JSSDF. You always have." She rubbed her arms. "You probably always will."

They stayed on the bench, as the sun descended they stayed. The street lights blinked into existence, commuters came and went. Somewhere a siren wailed.

Shinji leaned back into the bench, gazing at the blossoming night sky. Misato followed him with her eyes, worried, waiting. She expected a lot of things. She wanted him to be angry, or cry, or show some easily definable emotion; then she'd know how to act. His quiet, lonely introspection was not what she'd hoped for.

_I'm fucked,_ Misato thought. _He's going to go public, or do something crazy, or—what the hell?_

Shinji was laughing.

He held one hand over his eyes, the other hung limply on his thigh. He was smiling, but his lips wavered.

"You've got to be kidding me," he gasped out. "Please tell me you're kidding."

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Oh, God," he moaned. "This can't be happening. This has to be a joke."

"I'm sorry," Misato said again. He didn't look like he heard.

"First Mana, now this," Shinji whispered. "God, why did you tell me?"

"I just thought you deserved to know."

He barked out a short laugh. Misato cringed.

"Well thanks," he said. "You've made my day."

"Ikari-kun—"

"No, really. Why wouldn't I want to know? My entire life has been a joke played out for people to watch. This makes perfect sense." He stood on shaking legs. "Thank you, major, or lieutenant, or whatever you are. Please tell the JSSDF I'll keep up the good work."

He gave her a mock salute, and walked down the street. His head hung low, to hide his tears. She watched him leave. She watched until he was out of sight. There was nothing more she could say.

* * *

She still wasn't entirely sure what she was doing here. That night should have been the end of it. Her conscience should have been assuaged. She told him and accepted the consequences.

_He really lives in this dive?_

Misato knocked on motel room 24 and waited. Shinji appeared a breath later, his hair tussled and wet, a towel around his waist. Water cascaded down his slim frame.

"Sorry, Yasuda-san. I'll have the rent tomorrow, I—" He stopped and beat Misato's shade of red. "Ah! S-sorry, I—just a minute!"

He closed the door and she heard him change. The show gave Misato time to forget why she was there. He reappeared, his shirt buttoned wrong, his pants held up by his hand. His naked toes covered each other.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"You said that already."

"R-right."

They both waited, staring at the dirty floor.

"Did you want something?" he asked.

"I just… wanted to see how you were doing. You seemed pretty out of sorts the other night."

"Sorry about that."

Misato saw his free hand clenching and relaxing.

"I'm okay," he lied.

She frowned.

"You don't have to check up on me," Shinji continued. "I'll survive." He tried to smile. "And I won't tell anyone what happened."

_That's not why I'm here._

"Don't worry."

"That's not why I'm here."

He looked up, confused.

"Why else would you be here?" His eye caught something and he squinted. "Your collar. It's different."

Misato blinked.

"Oh. Oh, uh, yeah," she said, amazed he noticed. "I was, ah, demoted, actually."

Shinji looked crestfallen.

"For telling me?"

She smiled, shrugging.

"For telling you."

He examined his feet.

"I'm sorry."

"It was my decision. Don't be sorry." She looked at him. "No one ordered me."

"Thank you," he said, after a time. "For telling me."

"We're not all bad people," Misato said, smiling.

Shinji nodded softly to himself and looked away.

"I'd invite you in, but I'm afraid I can't offer you much."

She checked her watch and grinned.

"We never did get that coffee," Misato said. "How about it?"

Shinji hesitated, and then smiled.

"Sure."

* * *

End of Chapter 3

Author notes: another one done. Yippee. Things are moving right along now. Actually, I think this is a nice end spot right here. But then all the parts with Rei would be pointless. Damn. I have to keep going. At least until chapter 5 when she meets Shinji.

(Cackles manically) Man, did I get some negative reviews. The sheer output of disappointment and anger at my throwing Mana out has me worried. Granted, I was waiting for someone to really slam me, and I was rewarded. In my feeble defense though, this is AU. Yeah, Shinji and Rei aren't acting like themselves, but this is a world without Eva. I apologize though. _Is_ Shinji too OOC? I felt his anger towards Mana was justified.

Hitori Kozu and Kiseki Daisuke. Characters from one of my original stories (still unwritten) about Japan's first co-ed soccer league. Yes, it's as dumb as it sounds.

Ah, Kaworu. I'm actually a big fan of Tabris-chan (the anime version. Not the crazy cat-strangling manga version), and I apologize for Asuka's remarks. Just felt like something she might say. She did call him homo-boy on the drama track from _Addition._

Hmm. The whole Maya and Soryu thing? I switched it because since Soryu is the top scientist at the JSSDF it made sense to make her Maya's sempai. Nothing more. But will there be sprinklings of shoujo-ai? Probably not. Not that I'm against it, but when dealing with it, I have kind of an all-or-nothing mentality. Meaning if I did decide to include it in this story, I wouldn't be able to give it the space and time I'd like to without taking away from the main arc. Hope you understand.

Mr. Yasuda. Fans of Gitaroo-Man will know who that is.

Big thanks to the _Zone of the Enders: Anubis_ and _ICO_ soundtracks. You help me write good.


	4. Chapter 4

True Love Waits Chapter 4

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: I write this, amazed at the positive response chapter 3 received. Thanks. I don't own Eva or Radiohead.

* * *

"Katsuragi Misato," Rei called for the last time.

"Huh?"

She woke up in degrees, clearly desiring more sleep. Her bed, like her room, was in a state of terrible disarray. Her desk was buried under a mountain of files and old magazines, her dresser camouflaged as a pile of dirty laundry, her closet hung open spilling out its contents the floor. Old memorabilia were scattered here and there; crumpled photos, discarded uniforms, shoes, several plushies, and well-worn manga. A healthy collection of empty cans had taken up residence at the foot of her bed, which was stained with sweat and beer.

Misato curled into herself, dragging a pillow over her head.

"It is seven-forty," Rei said through the door.

"Great," Misato grumbled. "Lemme sleep."

Rei sighed.

"In the morning."

A resounding "oh shit" rocked the apartment.

"I'm late," Misato whined. "I can't believe I slept through my alarm again."

She sped through the apartment, dragging her uniform behind her, a piece of toast hanging from her mouth.

"Damn damn damn."

Rei viewed the situation with patient weariness, long ago accustomed to the scene yet again playing out before her. She handed Misato an open beer as she fled to the bathroom.

"Thanks, Rei."

The albino sighed as Misato didn't even bother to close the door.

_The woman has no decency._

She dressed with the threat of job termination looming over her. After splashing some water on her face and brushing her teeth, she was ready to go.

"Sorry," Misato said, rushing out the door, "I won't be here for dinner. Get some money from my drawer and order something nice, okay?"

The door slid closed behind her and Rei was left in silence.

"So what else is new?"

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 4

* * *

The command center was, like most non-operation days, all but vacant. The usual crowd of techs was there, manning the complex systems of computers that ran the JSSDF headquarters. Although one of the most advanced operating systems in the world, it still required constant monitoring and tweaking. Aoba Shigeru, Hyuuga Makoto and Ibuki Maya, assistant to Dr. Soryu, the system's creator, all worked diligently at their respective jobs, knowing the defense of the nation was dependent upon their abilities.

Of course, some people simply hung out at the center to avoid actual work.

"Well, you're looking chipper this morning," Ritsuko said. "A little worn, though."

Misato grinned.

"Is one the cause of the other?" the blonde asked. She was sitting on the edge of Maya's desk, idly looking over the security protocols from the previous night.

"Yup. But it isn't what you think."

Hyuuga relaxed a little.

"I just had dinner with a friend last night."

"Who?"

"It's a secret."

Akagi Ritsuko, polymath genius, doctor, and physicist, decided any secret Misato was keeping couldn't be too difficult to figure out.

"A guy, captain?" Aoba asked, smirking.

"Yes, a guy. Not that it's any of your business. I'm helping him find an apartment."

"Gee," Ritsuko said, "and here I thought you and Kaji would work things out."

"Shut your face!"

Maya, only partially aware of the captain's track record, decided the computer systems could wait a moment as she voiced her opinion.

"Well, he certainly thinks you two can."

She pinked a shade as all eyes fell on her.

"He, um, he dragged me to the lounge one day and couldn't stop talking about you," she explained. "He really likes you, captain."

Misato tried not to care.

"Then he shouldn't have coffee with anything on two legs."

Maya, sure she'd further damaged her relationship with Misato, shut her mouth.

"Now now, don't blame Ibuki-kun for your troubles."

"I told you to shut it, Ritsuko."

"I think you could do better, captain," Hyuuga said. "That Kaji-san seems a little shady."

Aoba grinned.

"Have anyone in mind?"

Hyuuga gave a strangled yelp.

"N-no. Just speaking in general. That's all."

"Thanks, Makoto-kun," Misato said. "You're a true friend."

Hyuuga sighed. After the whole Ikari debacle, he had hoped that something could have developed between the captain and himself. She was grateful to him, but not in the way he wanted. Well, he figured, at least they were friends. And at least they still had their jobs. Why the commander hadn't fired them both on the spot remained a mystery to Hyuuga. The severely docked pay wasn't. He sighed again.

_I might have to move back in with my parents,_ he thought with a shudder.

"So, no clues to your mystery man?" Ritsuko asked.

"Nope. I'm keeping this one to myself." She grinned. "He is a cutie, though."

"When's the next time you see him?" Aoba asked, desperate to keep any form of conversation alive. _Rock stars shouldn't have to go over data,_ he thought, scrolling through a list of tables.

"Actually, I'm supposed to meet him…" She checked her watch. "Five minutes ago. Damn." Misato started for the door.

"Hold it," Ritsuko said. "You came in late and now you're taking a long lunch?"

"Yeah. Cover for me, okay? Thanks."

She waved over her shoulder as she left.

"No problem," the doctor said.

* * *

_He looks just like her. Yui. _

"Sir?"

Fuyutski put the surveillance report down and cleared his throat.

"Yes?"

Ritsuko nodded to the file on his desk.

"How is he?"

"Surprisingly well," the old man said. "The captain is helping him along nicely."

Ritsuko smiled inwardly at how inept Misato was at keeping secrets.

"Are you sure it's wise, sir? Not that I don't trust you…"

"We can't do much else. He won't talk to agent Kirishima and he's kept his distance from the other agents we sent his way. It's almost dumb luck the captain took an interest in him."

Ritsuko's brow furrowed.

"Other agents?"

Fuyutski waved the question off.

"We dropped a few eager female operatives in his path, but he didn't bite. It seems he's grown distrustful of just about everyone."

"Can you blame him?"

"We had a job to do, and we did it," the commander said, frowning. "It was a necessity with his father running loose."

Ritsuko averted her eyes. She glanced at the numerous degrees and commendations displayed on his office's walls, hanging there simply because he had no other place to store them. Everything about the room was orderly and rigid, with the kind of severity only age can produce.

"I know," she said at length.

He was about to stand when his intercom beeped.

_"Agent Kaji to see you, sir."_

Fuyutski depressed the speak button with an angry jab.

"Tell him to wait."

_"Um, he's already—"_

The door slid open and Kaji walked in, grinning. He strolled past Ritsuko without acknowledgement and handed a disc to the commander.

"The latest from Ikari Shinji, as ordered, sir."

Ritsuko gaped. Fuyutski clutched his head.

"You? You're investigating Ikari?" she asked.

"Yup. I was after his old man before the… unpleasantness." He frowned. "I guess the higher ups wanted to punish someone."

"Inspector Kaji," Fuyutski cut in, "please show a little more discretion in the future. It would be detrimental to us all if everyone knew your true job."

"Sure thing, boss. But seriously, this kid is a snore. What Katsuragi sees in him is beyond me."

"Obviously," Ritsuko muttered.

Kaji sat on the edge of the commander's desk.

"Do you have anything of relevance to report?" Fuyutski asked. "Or are you simply bored?"

Kaji feigned hurt.

"Of course I do. Seems since the good former major told him the truth about his job, his performance has been slipping."

"Oh?" Fuyutski inquired, no real interest behind it.

"He used to be a model worker, but now he does the bare minimum to get by." Kaji shook his head. "Someone should teach that kid some manners. The JSSDF has paved the road for him his entire life and this is the thanks we get?"

"Yes," Ritsuko deadpanned. "It's amazing he isn't worshipping us for all we've done."

Kaji laughed.

"Incidentally, have you ever met that Mana? Phew. What a pistol. I'm surprised Ikari-kun survived her."

Fuyutski sighed.

"Where is he now?"

"In a coffee shop waiting for the captain," Kaji said, making his disgust known. "They've been scouting apartments for the kid." He was distinctly unsettled by the way that Misato's guidance was leading Shinji closer and closer to her own place.

"Jealous, Kaji?"

"Yeah, Ritsu. I'm jealous of a scrawny runt with a father complex."

"Children," Fuyutski said, "keep it civil. Don't make me call a time out."

Kaji held up his hands in deference.

"Alright, alright," he said, trying to sound disinterested. "I'm a little curious as to what the captain's true intentions are. You didn't order her to tail him, did you?"

The commander shook his head.

"It seems we won't be making that mistake twice." He sighed. "We'll let the captain do as she pleases, at least for now. As long as it benefits us, I have no concern who she sees."

* * *

"Sorry I'm late," Misato said.

"No problem," Shinji said, smiling. He tucked his newspaper away.

She plopped down opposite him at the table he'd kept and groaned.

_I'm too old for all this running around._

"Rough day?"

Misato glanced about the restaurant, again impressed by Shinji's taste. It was a small bistro, clean and compact, with private booths for diners and dim lighting to create mood. A pianist performed in a corner. It was all very cozy.

"Just got a bad start. Things are looking up, though."

"I'm glad," he said, and meant it. He handed her a menu.

"Nice place."

He agreed.

"I found it on my way to work one day." He frowned.

"How's that going?" she asked carefully.

He sighed.

"I just don't know what to do. From what you told me, it won't any difference what I do."

Misato smiled sadly.

"It probably won't."

"Besides, even if I did quit, I wouldn't have any money. I'll have to keep at it a little while longer."

A waitress approached them, holding her tray over her mouth. She tried to ignore the giggles and whispers behind her.

"Um… h-hello, Ikari-san."

"Kaori-san, hello."

The captain looked the girl over. She couldn't be more than eighteen, cute, in an unremarkable sort of way. She twisted her feet and blushed, and gave off any number of other obvious indicators she was attracted to Shinji. He, however, either totally oblivious or uninterested, gave her no such signs. Misato tried not to laugh at the poor girl as she shot the older woman a nervous glance.

_She probably thinks I'm stealing her Ikari-san away._

"I'll have the earl grey to start, please," Shinji said.

The girl's wandering eyes blinked, and she discreetly coughed, covering her roaming inspection of his body.

"And what will um, your sister have?"

Misato laughed.

"Sorry, I'm not his sister."

"Um, mother?" the girl tried, clearly reaching.

An angry cough from Misato sent Shinji scrambling.

"Ah, she—she's a friend," he said, blushing as he realized it for the first time.

"Oh. What will your friend have?"

"What beer do you serve?" Misato asked.

She may have imagined it in the low light, but Misato could have sworn she saw the girl turn her nose up.

"We do not serve any alcohol, ma'am."

_'Ma'am'?_

Not easily embarrassed, Misato simply frowned and looked over the menu again. Easily embarrassed, Shinji began to sweat and apologize.

"Ah, sorry, Katsuragi-san. I should have told you."

"No sweat." She gave up on the menu and grinned at the girl. "I'll just have what he's having."

The girl nodded and assured them it would be served soon. Misato stewed.

_I don't really look that much older, do I?_ She peeked up at Shinji. _I mean, sure, he's young, but come on. His mother? That little skank. _

"Something on your mind?"

"Oh, nothing. Um, just wondering how the hunt's going."

He scratched the back of his head.

"Not so good. It's harder than I originally thought, and I've been at it for almost two months now."

"I know. I wonder how much good I'm doing you."

Shinji shook his head.

"Oh, no, Katsuragi-san, I really appreciate everything you've done for me. You've been a tremendous help."

Misato felt warm. She knew it was more than helping him find a proper apartment. Shinji felt indebted to her for saving his life.

"I'd invite you to stay at my place, but it might not be appropriate," she said with a wink and a grin.

"I would never dare to impose," Shinji said, holding up his hands.

She frowned slightly at how tightly wound he was. Can't really blame him, though.

The girl returned, and set their tea for them, along with a few complimentary crackers. Shinji remembered to smile as he thanked her, and she lit up.

They waited for the tea to cool, making small talk. Misato's job was not a topic of friendly chat, and neither was his. Inevitably, they fell to carefully question each other's past; where they went to school, old friends, humorous anecdotes. Family, it was fast discovered, was a sore subject for both.

And that was fine, she reasoned. She didn't feel like a child in his presence as she did with Kaji. There was nothing to remind her of her father. She felt totally relaxed with him. Misato smiled as he took a sip of his drink. He was the best thing to happen to her in a long time.

She watched him eat, the way his slim fingers delicately extracted a cracker and placed it on his tongue. He took small bites, snapping it off with his front teeth. He smiled softly, as if eating reminded him of a joke long since past. He shut his eyes as he blew on his tea, a gentle warm breeze from his mouth.

He was handsome, she thought suddenly. Not that she found him unappealing before, but she now realized why the girl was so flustered around Shinji. Misato tried to blame the lighting and atmosphere for her own rising warmth.

Still, she noticed how blue his eyes were, how soft his lips were, how gentle his entire demeanor was.

It was then she decided she wanted him.

* * *

Lunch was a brief respite in Ayanami Rei's day, between mind-numbing lectures and painful interaction with other people. She sat at her desk, not bothering to leave the confines of the classroom as so many others did, with the unspoken but firmly understood rule that no one was to bother her. So it had been, and so it was.

Yet today Rei found herself with the unappetizing aspect of dining with a friend. She sighed.

"Something wrong?" Hikari asked.

"No."

They sat in silence, picking at their bento. Hikari summoned her courage.

"I'm worried about you," she said. "You've been kind of down lately."

"There's nothing to worry about."

"I'm not asking as class rep, you know. We're friends, right, Rei?"

"I suppose so."

"Well," Hikari said, "friends tell each other their problems. But you, you hardly talk at all."

"It is not often I have something relevant to add to the conversation."

The brunette sighed.

"That doesn't matter. I'd like to know more about you."

Rei offered nothing further, not out of rudeness, but merely patience. She was waiting for a question to respond to. Hikari, believing she'd offended Rei, searched for another avenue.

"How, um, how's Katsuragi-san?"

Rei looked out the window.

"I believe she has a new boyfriend."

"Oh really?" Hikari instantly warmed to the topic of romance. "Have you met him?"

"I met one, an unshaved man with no tact."

"One? You mean she has more than one boyfriend?"

"She is a fast operator."

"What?" Hikari asked.

"Never mind. I believe that one ended badly."

Rei, acutely aware of her guardian's moods and behaviors, knew when she was happy, even when Misato didn't. Subtle signs alerted Rei to her real state without her meaning to.

"Oh," Hikari said, sad. "I'm sorry."

"There is no need. She met someone else. I have not met him," she added, anticipating the next query.

"Do you know what's he like? Surely Katsuragi-san's told you something."

"She has told me nothing. She's hardly around anymore."

Hikari bit her tongue.

"Sorry."

Rei shrugged.

"It has allowed me time to study and think."

"Too much time alone isn't healthy."

Rei decided she didn't like where this was going.

"Where's Soryu?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, she went home. She wasn't feeling very well." Hikari tugged a pigtail. "Maybe, I don't know, tomorrow we could all eat together. How about it?"

"I prefer to eat alone."

"Oh. Um, am I bothering you?"

"No," Rei sighed, hoping she'd get the meaning.

"Thank goodness." Hikari picked around the final shrimp in her bento, saving it for last. "Hey, what is Katsuragi-san's type?"

Rei gave her a look.

"I'm… I'm just making conversation," Hikari said, waving her hands in front of her. "Don't read anything into it."

"Male."

"What?"

"Her type is male," Rei said.

"That's, um, kind of general."

"So is she." Rei saw Hikari was waiting for more. "She isn't very… selective. I've lost count of how many she's had since I've known her."

"Well, I mean she's sure to have had a couple serious ones, right?"

"Perhaps you misunderstood my use of the word 'had'."

Hikari colored.

"Oh, my. Is… is Katsuragi-san… loose?" she whispered.

"That's a polite way to say it," Rei said.

"I… I never would have guessed."

_Are you blind?_

"W-well," Hikari said, hoping for the best, "maybe her new guy is different. You know?"

"I'm sure her new man will get exactly what he wants from her."

* * *

Shinji and Misato sat on the floor of his unfurnished new apartment. The renter's agreement lay between them. The setting sun cast orange light across the floors and over their bodies.

"Congratulations!" Misato said.

"Thank you."

They toasted over the lease, Misato's beer and Shinji's soda. She refrained from chugging her enthusiasm away, content to share the moment with him.

"So, how does it feel?"

Shinji smiled.

"It's much better than the motel."

Misato sipped at her drink.

"Ugh. I can't imagine how you managed to live there so long."

"I didn't have much of a choice."

Misato shook her head in sympathy. What she was sympathizing with she wasn't exactly sure. Her own stays in motels usually consisted of what Shinji complained about.

"Hopefully the neighbors will be a little more discreet," he mumbled.

"Huh? Oh, right," Misato said, coming out of her reverie. "The walls look pretty thick."

"Uh, yeah," he replied, regretting he'd brought it up.

"Well, now that you have your own place, you have to fill it up." She gestured to his only belongings, two beaten up bags and a cello. "You need more stuff than that."

Shinji smiled politely, knowing there was little else he wanted.

"Well, maybe you could help me with that."

Misato beamed.

"We could go shopping!" In her mind, she was already at the mall. "Let's see, you'll need a TV, a microwave, maybe some plants, a couple throw rugs… oh! We should get a couch. Something leather… what?"

Shinji smiled fondly at her.

"Thank you," he said.

"W-what for?"

"I don't know what I would have done without you. Thank you."

She blushed.

"Jeez, d-don't make such a big deal out of it. I mean, I only helped a little finding you a place." Incidentally, Shinji's new apartment was only a few blocks from Misato's.

He colored, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Oh, well, it would have taken a lot longer on my own. I'm sure of that." He pulled on his shirt. "I'm glad you're here." _I'm glad I'm not alone._

"Me too." _Beats drinking alone._

"Are you… are you really?"

Misato stared at him.

"What?"

"It's just that, well, I can't help but wonder why you're spending so much time with me."

Her first reaction was surprise.

_Is it so unthinkable that I like you?_

Misato lost count of how many times she'd reminded herself of his situation, and again found that yes; his confidence in himself was shattered. For someone as sensitive as Shinji, his ordeal had wrecked what carefully constructed ego he had.

But this time she was angry. She couldn't help it. Didn't he have faith in her?

"What's this about?" She folded her arms. "I wasn't ordered here, if that's what you mean."

Shinji cowered a little.

"I'm here because I want to be. Don't you believe me?" She leaned close. "Don't you trust me?"

Shinji looked away, shamed.

She wasn't Mana, he reminded himself. This wasn't seven years ago. No, this was considerably worse. Instead of hopelessly waiting for his father to return to him, he was mourning his death. At the hands of the JSSDF.

_I'll never see my father again,_ he thought. _I'll never see him again and it's their fault. _He touched his back. He wanted to run away, to get time to think. To be anywhere but here.

"Shinji-kun," she said softly. "Please answer me."

It could be another ploy. It probably was. But at that moment he was happy to have a friend. To believe he had a friend.

"I trust you, Katsuragi-san."

She smiled.

"It's Misato."

* * *

End of Chapter 4

Author's notes: T-minus one chapter until Rei and Shinji meet. I already have it planned, and I hope it turns out well. On a completely unrelated note, I just saw Kino's Journey. Wow, is that a great series. Buy it! Buy it! Go out and buy it! You won't be disappointed. Heh heh… "Persuaders".

Ugh, Kaori. I know, I know, typical cliché fanboy crap there, but I couldn't resist. Besides, Shinji is a little hotty, so why wouldn't he get some play from ACCs? Yes, I think Shin-chan is cute. Sue me.

Hmm. Kaji being brought in to spy on Shinji. Didn't plan it that way, but so what? Originally, the scene was going to be Shinji confronting Fuyutski, but then I remembered that would be completely OOC for Shin-chan. Even at twenty-one.

Big thanks to _True Love Waits—Christopher O'Riley Plays Radiohead_ and the _Final Fantasy VIII_ soundtrack. You help me write good.


	5. Chapter 5

True Love Waits Chapter 5

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: (as Comic Book Guy) Oh, anime and loneliness are a dangerous combination. I don't own Eva or Radiohead.

* * *

"Ayanami Rei?" 

"Huh?"

She turned to face her caller, surprised to find a young man. He was standing in the central courtyard ofher school, looking rather frightened and uncomfortable. His right hand clenched and relaxed habitually.

"Who are you?"

"I'm, ah, Ikari Shinji. A friend of Misato-san's. She asked I pick you up today."

Rei raised an eyebrow.

"Why did she not come herself?"

"She, um, she said she had a meeting and asked me. It was last minute."

Granted, had Rei known him, she'd have taken his stuttering and sweating as normal for any first encounter. As things stood, it was killing his credibility.

"I do not believe you," she said, and walked by him.

"Um, wait!" Shinji started after her. "Please don't go, Ayanami-san."

Uncomfortable with the persistent young man, and the attention he was drawing, Rei ducked into the crowd hoping to blend in. Whether it was panic or a simple lapse in judgment which caused her to believe she could blend in is unknown. Shinji easily followed her around the school.

"What do you want?" she asked, still walking away from him.

"Just to take you home. That's all Misato-san asked me to do."

_Where's a teacher when you need one?_

"I still do not believe you."

Shinji sighed.

"Then call her. Here." He handed her his phone. She refused and pulled out her own. Rei punched in a long set of numbers, all the while keeping a wary eye on Shinji.

"Katsuragi Misato, please," she spoke.

Shinji frowned. This was going to take longer than he thought.

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 5

* * *

"Gah!" Asuka groaned. "If I get one more dumb love letter from some perverted little boy I'll hit someone." 

"At least you get them," Hikari grumbled.

The redhead popped her knuckles.

"Who do they think they are, anyway? Like they have a prayer of ever going out with me."

"You should be flattered, Asuka. Try to think of it that way."

The two girls ducked out the back exit of the school, on Asuka's insistence, to avoid any unwanted suitors. Hikari naturally agreed, attempting to keep peace.

"Hey, who's wondergirl talking to?" Asuka asked, spying Rei and Shinji.

The brunette squinted.

"I don't know…"

The duo came closer, edging around them.

"What a fox!" Asuka said, getting a good look at Shinji. "How'd she land him?"

Hikari stared and blushed.

"What are you doing? Get down!" Asuka pulled her friend into a bush. "We can't get caught, dumby."

"S-sorry."

They watched and waited.

"Never figured wondergirl as a babe magnet. Where do you think they'll go? The gym, maybe? The classic supply shed?"

"Asuka! I don't think Rei is that kind of a girl."

"Yeah, you're probably right," the redhead said, idly scratching her nose. "But man is that a hunk. Not too muscley, but hey, he's cute. Gorgeous, even."

Hikari eagerly nodded.

"Who is he? A new teacher or something?"

Asuka shrugged.

"I haven't seen him around either. Looks too old to be an exchange student or anything." She smiled. "He looks like my man."

* * *

"She is not in her office," Rei said. "I will try her cell phone." 

"You don't need to," Shinji said. He tried to smile. "See? She gave me her apartment keys." His jingling them by her ear gave no response. "Um… oh right. She even told me your emergency password." He looked around to ensure they were alone, then leaned closer. "Yebisu," he whispered.

Rei rolled her eyes. She sighed as Misato failed to pick up her cell.

"She is not answering her phone." Rei turned to Shinji. "What have you done with her?"

"W-what? N-nothing. I haven't done anything to her, I swear."

She peered at him, as if gauging his value, then turned on her heel.

"I still do not believe you." She took off.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"The police, if you do not stop following me."

"T-the police? But I swear I'm only doing what she told me. Um, maybe try calling her again?"

_He is eager enough to avoid the authorities,_ she thought. _And if I scream, someone is bound to hear me. I am in no imminent danger. _She observed him. He was certainly cleaner looking than the last man, the scruffy one, though he was quite younger than any of Misato's previous lovers. If he was involved with her, it might explain why her guardian was so frequently absent as of late. But the afternoon was growing thin, and Rei was not in a forgiving mood.

"Do not follow me," she said, and turned. He trailed after her, sighing and fidgeting. His hands were balled into fists. She was about to leave when her apathy was subdued by idle curiosity.

"What bar did you meet her in?" _She finally picked up someone really dangerous._

Shinji seemed stunned.

"What? We… didn't meet in any bar…"

"Then where?"

He pursed his lips.

"That's sort of a long story."

"I have time," Rei lied, hoping to at least glean a passing amusement from this bizarre young man. She looked him over. Very little amusement.

Shinji slumped his shoulders.

"I… was in an accident and the military was involved. I met her in the hospital."

Rei, blessed with an acute memory, was sure Misato never mentioned anything about him.

"You are lying."

"No! I swear it. It, um, it happened about five months ago."

Rei instantly recalled Misato's promotion.

"And… she was demoted because of me," he said.

_Why did I not notice that? It is true I have not seen her in awhile, but…_

"Please believe me, Ayanami-san. I mean you no harm."

Rei sighed, weighing her book bag. It would make a suitable weapon. She glanced at him, then walked away.

"W-wait!"

"You may accompany me to the train," she threw over her shoulder. "But keep your hands to yourself."

Shinji retracted his arm as it hovered near her hand.

"Sorry," he said.

* * *

"Captain Katsuragi," Fuyutski all but bellowed, "please remember in the future to turn off your cell phone while we're in conference." 

"Sorry, sir," she peeped. Misato stuffed her phone back into her pocket. _Hope it wasn't anyone important. _She conveniently chose to forget who exactly had access to her cell phone number.

"As I was saying," the commander continued, "the tech labs have finished their report of Ikari Gendo's operation and have submitted several proposals to the top brass."

"And what does this have to do with us?" Dr. Soryu snorted, still upset she'd been passed over on dissecting Ikari's research.

"We are to benefit from the fruits of his labors. I know some of you may find the thought… unappealing, but it is necessary to stay ahead of others like him."

Ritsuko idly twisted her chair.

Fuyutski turned the lights off and cued up a projector, the first slide showing the JSSDF sigil and warning of top secret material. Ibuki Maya, sitting behind Dr. Soryu, felt a childish thrill of seeing something secret.

"As you all know," the commander began, switching to a file slide of Gendo, "Ikari was killed during operations nearly five months ago after abducting his son."

Misato felt eyes on her, but continued staring at the screen.

"After his death, all the research and technology he was working on fell into our hands. The bulk of it is listed under the super top secret category; things even I'm not allowed to see. We shall not discuss what those things are."

He went to the next slide, which showed a hulking machine of some kind, its grey wiring and piping flowing from it like entrails.

"This is the crowning achievement of the late Akagi Naoko, who was working with Ikari. It is known as the MAGI, a complex system of three computers used in tandem to operate Ikari's experiments."

The next slide flipped up, a mock-up of the three MAGI in a triangular configuration. Fuyutski went on to the next, a close-up of one of the computers' face.

"This is Balthazar, the only computer which survived the raid. This is what we'll be receiving soon."

Dr. Soryu bristled.

"What for?" she asked. "My system could run laps around any other in the world."

"I don't know, doc," Kaji said, "I've seen the specs for those things. They're pretty impressive."

"I'm surprised you could read them."

Fuyutski coughed.

"We are all aware of how remarkable Dr. Soryu's work is, but the fact that Ikari was able to do what he did requires us to admit he was wielding superior technology. The brass was quick to approve the integration of the remaining MAGI supercomputer into our own. It will be our top priority until it is completed."

Fuyutski waited a moment.

"I'm assigning Dr. Akagi to be head of the MAGI team."

Soryu was on her feet.

"On what basis?"

"On the basis that she spent over two years with the system and its creator while undercover," the commander said calmly. "She knows it better than anyone else here."

"Give me two days and I'll—"

"The MAGI use a neural network," Ritsuko said softly.

"Neural?" Soryu spun on Fuyutski. "But the government has strictly forbidden any biological computers."

"It isn't a pure neural net," Ritsuko said. "The late Dr. Akagi virtually imprinted her brain wave patterns onto the three computers, producing three different systems, all linked by a common interface." She sighed. "Even I don't know all of its secrets."

Soryu looked back to the commander, but didn't find a friend.

"Sempai…" Maya said.

"And what about me? What about my system?"

"You will of course still be instrumental to the running of this organization, Dr. Soryu. You will be expected to assist Dr. Akagi in the integration of the MAGI."

Soryu fumed. _She_ was to assist _her_? That meant letting Ritsuko see her system's ins and outs, highly guarded secrets only she and a few others were privy to. Things not even the commander knew about.

"This is ludicrous," she hissed.

"This is my decision," Fuyutski warned. "If you don't like it, leave."

Soryu swallowed a few choice words, and her pride. She sat down.

Wishing he could retire, Fuyutski went on.

"Captain Katsuragi will oversee the operation. Consider her in command when I'm not around. All information and inquiries will be directed through her." He flicked the lights on and sat. "Any questions?"

"Well," Misato breathed. "You've explained what everyone here is doing. Except him." She nodded to Kaji.

"He was special inspector to the Ikari case," Fuyutski said quickly. "He is here as a courtesy to the government." He spared a look at the agent, telling him to keep his mouth shut. Kaji smiled.

"And on that note, I really should be going." He stood and gave a jaunty half bow, giving Misato a lingering grin. It was not returned. "Duty calls, and I must answer."

Kaji left the conference room and his grin vanished. His duty, as it was, required him to tail and record all activity of Ikari Shinji. While his father, Gendo, had been interesting enough to make a career out of, the son was a positive bore. Abandoned by his father at age five after his mother had died under mysterious circumstances, he grew up with an uncle and aunt until age thirteen. An overachiever in academics since an early age, he had attended a prep university upon finishing his senior year at a small high school. His contact with agent Kirishima had gone better than expected, to the point where the boy doted on her every wish. On Mana's subtle insistence, he hadn't pursued any of his academic interests, and settled for a wage slave job at the front Ichiban Industries.

Kaji yawned.

The JSSDF had planted Ritsuko inside Gendo's operation at about that time, then two years later the shit hit the fan. Kaji himself had tried to infiltrate with Ritsuko, but Ikari was paranoid, and distrusted anyone not part of some organization called SEELE, an obscure German financial bloc. The only way Ritsuko had made it in was on her mother's word. That had been a small miracle.

Kaji Ryouji prided himself on many things, chief among them his abilities to wait and know when to strike. The past two years were little more than a waiting game, and now this.

He reached his office, a converted closet, and sank into his chair.

_There's definitely something wrong with the fact that I can summarize his entire case in the time it takes to walk to my office from the conference room._

"I should have stayed in Kyoto," he said, looking for a cigarette.

Spying on international criminals and wanted scientists was all well and good, but when his skills were wasted on a boring little boy with no sense of reality, Kaji had to question his orders.

He found a crumpled cigarette and lit it. He watched the end burn away before inhaling.

The last wire tap report for Ikari was with Misato, she asking him to pick up Rei from school. He had a good chuckle over that. That girl categorically despised every man that entered Misato's life, no matter the cause. How else could he explain her negative reaction to him?

"I'll never know why Katsuragi adopted that brat," he mused, observing his smoke drift to the ceiling vents. "I could have given her all the kids she'd ever want."

He pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed dial.

"It's me," he said, blowing out more smoke. "Where is he?" Kaji waited, and nearly choked. "He's coming where?" His ensuing laughter only served to confuse the operative on the other end.

* * *

"Um, this isn't the way to Misato-san's." Shinji was sure of it. Granted, he'd never been there himself, but he had a rough idea of where it was. Misato's directions had been… interesting. "Where are we going?" 

"I am heading to the JSSDF headquarters." She glanced at him quickly and saw him freeze up. "You may get off here, if you wish."

He did not respond. His vision clouded at the edges, and he felt cold. His back throbbed. He sweated. The noise of the train, so overpowering an instant ago seemed to fade, replaced with a steady buzzing. He wanted to stop the train. He did not want to follow this girl into the JSSDF headquarters.

"Are you sleeping with her yet?"

Shinji snapped out of it as his face discovered new shades of red.

"W-what? Of course not! We're… we're just friends."

"Misato does not make friends with men," Rei said. "How long have you known her?"

"Um, not too long. About a month or so."

The two had the same thought: _And she never told me about you. _

"She's been a great help," Shinji continued. "She helped me get through a very difficult time in my life."

"I am sure," Rei said, unimpressed. "She helps many men in such a way."

Shinji frowned.

"Are you angry with her?" He tried to hold on to his image of Misato, a heroic rescuer of wrongly abused people.

"I do not think that—oh no."

"Wh-oa!"

Asuka flailed towards them, leaving an impressive theatrical trip behind her. She skidded a step or two, then fell on top of Shinji, taking him to the floor. Rei watched with mild nausea.

"Oh! I'm _so_ sorry, sir." Asuka held a shy hand to her face. "I was pushed from behind and had no control. Please forgive me."

"Um… it's okay, miss," Shinji said, polite, even during injury. "Are you okay?"

"That's sweet of you to ask," she said, getting comfortable. "I'm fine thanks to you."

"I'm glad, miss, but… um…"

"Yes?"

"Would you mind terribly to get off of me?"

Asuka produced her best blush.

"Oh! Forgive me! I can't imagine what you must think of me!"

"I can think of a few things," Rei muttered.

Asuka shot her a demonic glare which was wasted on her. Her thoughts vanished as she felt Shinji gently lift her to her feet.

_He's… strong…_

"Th-thank you," she stuttered, genuinely blushing now.

Shinji, increasingly upset with the whole situation, brushed himself off. He tenderly held his back.

"Uh, yeah. Forget it."

Rei was considering voicing her distaste at the spectacle when she spotted Hikari behind a large man.

"So you are here as well. Did you have a hand in this?"

She colored.

"Wh-whatever do you mean, Rei? We just happened to be on the same train as you and your, um, companion."

Rei sighed as Shinji and Asuka sat down.

"You might as well sit too," the albino said. "I hope you do not mind. We are on our way to headquarters."

"I don't mind," Asuka said, gazing up at Shinji.

"N-neither do I," Hikari agreed, blushing.

"Are, are they friends of yours, Ayanami-san?" Shinji asked, lightly extracting his hand from Asuka's.

"Sometimes. This is—"

"Horaki Hikari!" she blurted out. She clapped her mouth shut and sat down.

"… yes. I believe you have met Soryu."

"Soryu Asuka Langley," she said, smiling. "Very pleased to meet you, my polite hero."

"Uh… pleased to meet you, too. I'm Ikari Shinji. I know Katsuragi Misato-san." A thought ran his mouth. "You don't happen to work for the JSSDF, do you?"

Asuka, displeased with the prospect of Misato stealing her man, never let it show through her sweet facade.

"No, sir, Ikari-san. But my mother does. She's the top scientist in the country, probably in the entire world. At least she was when we were in Germany. Oh, excuse me, that's where I'm from." She flipped her long hair.

Shinji nodded warily.

"That's quite interesting," he said politely.

"Misato was in Germany for a time," Rei said. Asuka frowned as Shinji brightened.

"Really?"

The redhead looked to Hikari for an ally, but she was just gazing at Shinji.

"So you know Katsuragi-san?" Asuka asked him, trying to keep the malice from her voice. "What do you think of her?"

"She's a very kind person," he said after a moment. "Very compassionate."

Asuka had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing.

_Okay,_ she thought, _so he isn't very bright. Or he's easily swayed. Either way's fine with me._

"Don't you agree, Ayanami-san?"

Shinji did not receive an answer.

* * *

Misato locked her office and sighed. The commander wanted everything in order for the MAGI's transfer tomorrow and had been a veritable slave driver. She had ducked out right after the old man had left for the night, citing personal reasons. It wasn't a total lie; she needed to get home to Rei and Shinji. How they had survived a whole afternoon alone together was worrying her. 

_I'll call as soon as I'm out of the building,_ she thought. She checked her watch. _Oops. Didn't think it was that late. Looks like instant ramen and beer again tonight._

She stopped dead in her tracks as she found Shinji, Rei, and her two friends waiting in the parking lot by her car. Rei was quietly reading as usual, Shinji was being harassed by Asuka, while Hikari stared at him with a look akin to a deer caught in the headlights.

"Hello?" she called out, still surprised.

Shinji slowly looked up. A look of incalculable relief washed over him.

"Misato-san!"

"Shinji-kun? Rei? What are you guys doing here?"

Rei nodded once.

"So he was telling the truth. My apologies, Ikari-san."

Misato, in a rare show of quick thinking, put it together.

"What? You thought he was a stalker or something? Come on, Shinji-kun wouldn't hurt a fly." She cuffed him on the arm, which bordered on a grope. Shinji didn't mind either way. "So what? She dragged you down here to verify your identity?"

"Well, you weren't answering your phone…"

"Sorry, Shinji-kun," Misato said. "I thought it would be a nice way for you two to meet. I never guessed Rei would make it so difficult."

"Oh, um, no trouble at all, really."

"And what about you two?" Misato said, bearing down on Shinji's admirers.

"Oh, Katsuragi-san, we, um—"

"We met on the train here," Asuka said, eyeing the way Misato kept her hand on Shinji's arm.

"Convenient, is it not?" Rei asked.

"I'm here to see my mother. You remember I told you about her, right, Ikari-san?"

"Oh, right."

"Sorry," Misato said. "Dr. Soryu's working hard on a project and won't be out for a good while. Come on, I'll give you a lift home."

She turned to Shinji, intent on having him take the front with her. She frowned as she saw Rei had already gotten to it.

"Uh, sorry, Shinji-kun. Hope you don't mind a cramped ride."

"He doesn't mind at all," Asuka cut in, latching onto his arm. "Do you, Ikari-san?"

"I guess I don't have a choice."

Hikari followed, her face still crimson.

* * *

End of Chapter 5

Author notes: what? _What?_ Honestly, did you expect Rei to fall head over heels for Shinji or something? Come on. Even if he does call her Ayanami-san. Okay, I agree that's a little odd for a twenty-one year old to say to a teenager, but Shinji is extremely humble. Besides, it's the kid of his only friend. I'd think he'd say it.

Hah hah? Please bear with my humor. Yes, Asuka and Hikari are now the Touji and Kensuke of this story, i.e, they'll be drooling over Shinji and whatnot.

Argh! Asuka's mom keeps coming out so mean! I don't mean it. I actually like der redhead a lot (I'm working on an Asuka fic right now). Which leads me to the MAGI sub-plot. Yeah, it's pointless in relation to the main plot, but it was bothering me. What would the JSSDF do with the processing power of the MAGI? I can't exactly see them trying to destroy the world, so giant robots are out. I can easily see, say, Aoba downloading music with it, or Hyuuga downloading porn. Or Misato erasing all her debts. Nothing too ambitious there, or here.

I couldn't help it. Was the train scene with Asuka over the top?

Next chapter will really hunker down and get some actual romance out. I know, I know, five chapters into a drama/romance story and no romance? Sorry. Shinji's been through a lot in this one, cut him some slack.

My reviewers… thank you all. I never dreamed I'd get so many positive ones. Oh, and MidnightCereal, author of the superb In The Dark Room, you made me blush. Eee! Thanks. And by the way, that graveyard scene between Shinji and the talented Ms. Buick? Still creeps me out. I can't wait to see how it ends.

Big thanks to _Kare Kano_ soundtracks 1 and 3 (I'm missing number 2) and _Final Fantasy S Generation_. You help me write good.


	6. Chapter 6

True Love Waits Chapter 6

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: I once owned Evangelion and Radiohead, but gave them up for the price of one of Rei's smiles. I stand by my decision.

* * *

Rei flew through the air, soaring over the earth on giant wings of light, all of humanity staring up at her with awe and wonder. Their amazement then seemed to turn inward and they collapsed in upon themselves, and their souls took flight around her, amassing in a swirling sphere. She opened her mouth to speak, to address the human race… and all that came out was a harsh electric blare. 

"Huh?"

Rei's alarm continued to beep. She sighed as she turned it off, rolling out of bed. She scratched her sleep-ruffled blue hair and yawned as she made her way to the door, intent on a hot bath, one of the few pleasures she had in the world. Her palm rested on the handle when she heard someone else in the apartment.

She was immediately awake. The sounds of rummaging and clattering emanated from beyond the door, seemingly at a frenzied pace. The cacophony plowed towards her room, and stopped. Rei drew back.

"Rei-chan? Are you awake yet?" Misato called out.

The albino cringed. She only called her chan when she wanted something. Rei opened the door to find Misato in her nightgown, arms filled with the former trash heap that carpeted their floors.

"Why are you cleaning?" Misato had made several past attempts to sanitize their living quarters, but her resolve to keep it that way always dissolved. She and Rei had come to the quiet understanding that they were simply meant to be messy.

"Shinji-kun's coming over for dinner tonight," Misato said, dumping her arm load into a garbage can. "I don't want him to see how filthy we are. At least not so soon."

Rei arched an eyebrow.

"You gave him your keys when you asked him to escort me home. He would have seen then."

Misato stopped as she scooped up more old mail and thought.

"Huh. I guess you're right. I hadn't really thought about that. Oh well. Roll up your sleeves and get cleaning."

"I have school."

"And I have work. So we'll be a little late." She looked at her young charge. "No sighing, young lady. This place will be spotless by tonight."

Rei sighed as she bent down to retrieve an empty beer can. It was not going to be a good day.

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 6

* * *

"You are late, Ayanami-kun," the teacher said, frowning. "This is an unpleasant change. See to it that it won't happen again." 

Rei apologized without meaning it and sat. No sooner had she assumed her window staring position than her instant message icon bleeped at her. She ignored it. It continued to sound and she finally deigned to view who was calling her.

H-chan953: _Are you okay? You look real tired._

Rei wished she was still in bed.

H-chan953: _And you were late. You're never late. You usually beat me here._

A. Rei: _Shouldn't you be listening to the lecture, class representative?_

A quick eep from across the classroom was the response Rei was hoping for. She received no further messages from Hikari that day.

As the teacher droned on, Rei felt her eyelids become heavy, and she made no effort to resist their pull. She had almost recaptured her flight dream when the lunch bell rang.

_At least I can be alone now._

She kept her eyes closed as the students filed out, happy for a break. She overheard a boy say it was the greatest time of the day. Rei agreed it had its merits.

Today those merits were to be forgotten.

Asuka scraped a chair up to her desk and sat, a frighteningly intense look on her face.

"So?"

Rei blinked.

"What?"

"So," Asuka said, angry to repeat herself, "is Katsuragi seeing him or not?"

Rei's normally sharp mind worked slowly.

"Who?"

"That babe Ikari!"

Hikari perked up at the shout and scuttled over to them.

"Talking about Ikari-san?" she asked, already blushing.

"Well, we would be if wondergirl wakes up." Asuka waved a hand in front of her face. "Hello, earth to Second, come in, Second."

"They seem quite close," Rei said.

"I don't care how they _seem,_ I care if they're together or not."

"They have not slept together yet, if that is what you mean."

Hikari blushed harder at Rei's frankness.

"Really?" Asuka asked. "Good. Gives me more time." She scratched her chin. "When's the next time you see him?"

"I do not know," Rei lied.

"Well, Misato must have told you something. Nothing? Okay, fine. Has she talked about him, you know, what he likes and stuff?"

Rei shook her head.

"Damn it girl, drag it out of her. Get her liquored up. That should loosen her tongue."

Rei shivered. A drunken Misato was not an occurrence she wished to willingly bring about. Her tongue was loose enough when sober. As it was, Rei's education in certain subjects was considerably more advanced than her peers.

"I think he is special to her," she said, trying to throw Asuka off. "More so than previous men. Ikari-san seems quite smitten with her."

"He just doesn't know any better. Sorry, Second, but your guardian is kinda skanky."

"Then why would you want someone who is attracted to her?"

Hikari, sensing a fight, tried to intervene.

"Guys…"

Asuka held up a hand to quiet her.

"It isn't my fault she got to him first. You know how men are. They follow around any female that shows even the slightest interest. And Katsuragi isn't the coy and demure type. Ikari-san is just fooled, that's all."

Rei thought of several come backs. Why do so many boys follow you? You are hardly the coy and demure type yourself. Shut up.

Despite her quick mind, she was not up to speaking with Soryu, or anyone else.

"Perhaps you are right."

Asuka blinked, stunned.

"You… you agree with me? Wow. Uh, I mean, of course I'm right. Our poor Ikari-san has been led astray and it's up to me to show him the light." She clapped her hands together. "I'm sure he'll be thankful."

"Still," Hikari said. "Isn't he a little too old for you?"

"Oh pish-posh. What are a few years when love is involved? We can wait four measly years to get married."

"Married?" Rei said, closing her eyes.

"Soryu Ikari Asuka Langely. It has a nice ring to it. Of course I'd keep my real name," she said. Asuka turned around. "Sorry, Hikari. Ikari Hikari sounds dumb." She turned back before the brunette deflated. "And Ikari Rei? Even worse. Besides, he's sure to pick me anyway. Two gorgeous people like us deserve to be together."

The conversation turned to how attractive Shinji was. How blue his eyes were, how strong he was, the boyish way he colored at contact, debates on how experienced he was, and so forth. The talk was lost on Rei. She was within her own head, flying over the surface of the earth, giant angelic wings spreading from her back.

* * *

She shouldn't be doing this. She knew for a fact she shouldn't be doing this. It was against regulations she knew, and had almost gotten her fired before. She didn't want to think about the punishment for getting caught doing the same thing twice. 

And yet Misato sat at her desk, carefully downloading the surveillance reports on Ikari Shinji, using the backdoor Hyuuga had shown her. Using her own terminal was probably the dumbest thing she could do in this situation, but not being well versed in computer hacking, she had little alternative.

_I can't ask Makoto-kun again,_ she thought. _I already got him in enough trouble. I have to rely on myself this time._

She heard footsteps outside her office and cut the connection. A bead of sweat worked its way down her face as she waited to be found out. The steps went by her door without stopping.

Misato collapsed in her chair, exhaling hard. How Hyuuga did this was beyond her.

"That's enough for now," she reasoned, forcing her heart rate down. "Let's see what we've got."

She could have done more; as the JSSDF integrated the MAGI into their computer system, it was unguarded and vulnerable. Not that anyone outside the organization knew that.

Misato opened the first file, an observation report from agent Kirishima. It was uniquely disturbing to her, a military brat, to find out the JSSDF recruited so young. And for this type of mission.

"I don't want to think about how warped her childhood was," she muttered.

She read through it, a summary of one of their initial meetings. The report was very in depth. From the way he spoke and moved, to his preferences in food and music, to a brief history of his childhood.

"His mom's dead, too."

The report didn't specify how she died, or when. The files on his father were likewise classified. Misato considered diving back into the system, but her internal fear of being caught stayed her hand. She read on instead.

Mana was placed in Shinji's school shortly after he transferred, and was assigned to keep close contact with him. As per her instructions, she adopted an aggressive attitude to match his passive one, and they hit it off.

_She really was tailored for him,_ Misato thought.

Considering Shinji would never make the first move, Mana's strategy was almost foolproof. Starved for affection his entire childhood, Shinji was easy pickings. Misato was repulsed with how much the reports read like a field mission. Like Shinji was merely an objective to be accomplished. She closed the file in disgust.

Misato leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

_Is what I'm doing right now any different?_

She frowned.

_It isn't like I want to do this, but he never opens up. I can never tell what he's thinking._

Misato sighed as she opened another file. It was a report by Kirishima again, this one almost two years later. It seemed Shinji at sixteen was still terribly introverted, but grateful to have one friend. Mana remarked how amazed she was that he never tried a pass at her, content with her platonic companionship. She wrote further that she worried he might be gay, thus ruining the entire plan. Her fears were quelled when, after a lot of weighted hinting on her part, he admitted he was attracted to her. She responded by giving him his first kiss.

_Almost two years? It took him two years to admit that?_ Misato struggled to comprehend it. _I can't wait two years. I don't know if I can wait two more days. _She groaned.

Her mind was made up. She wanted Ikari Shinji. She suddenly pictured Kaji's smirking face.

_'I thought you said no more flings, Katsuragi.'_

"I did say that, didn't I?" She smiled without humor.

Misato skipped down the list of files and found one different than the rest. She opened it up and found it dated one month ago. She froze.

_One month ago he was in the city. With me._

She skimmed through it, finding an accurate retelling of one of their dinners, detailed down to what they ate, wore, and the quick hug she'd given him at the end of the night. Misato felt sick.

She closed the file and stared past the screen. It took her only a moment to erase the files from her computer.

* * *

Agent Kaji sat on the edge of Fuyutski's desk, his terminal blinking as Misato accessed the restricted files on Shinji. 

"So you're really just going to let her do what she wants?"

The aged commander sighed.

"I've explained this before, agent. As long as it helps us, she can look up whatever she wants."

"So let's give her free access to all our secrets, huh? Let's just give them to everybody while we're at it."

Fuyutski raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"Don't let personal feelings cloud your judgment. Or are you afraid she'll find out what you really do?"

"I'm afraid she'll get angry enough to do what Ikari wouldn't. You haven't seen her angry." Kaji sighed. "This could come back to bite you on the ass."

"It's a calculated risk, but one I feel confident in. The captain's motivations for joining the JSSDF far outweigh any passing attraction she might have for a man. Especially one like Ikari's son."

Kaji stewed on the fact that she might indeed be attracted to Shinji, then shrugged.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I won't." Fuyutski glanced at his computer screen. "I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, but is there anything else you want?"

Kaji looked away. The world seemed to be going topsy-turvy. Misato, not chasing after him? And instead lusting after a meek child with possible mental instabilities? It wasn't fair, but it just didn't seem right, either. Yes, mistakes had been made, but they were meant for each other. They were destined for each other. Kaji honestly believed that. It didn't help matters that every time Kaji spoke to his brother he asked how Misato was doing. He could be a real idiot sometimes.

"Agent Kaji?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Just thinking."

"Well, kindly think someplace else. I have real work to do."

"How is the MAGI integration going?" Kaji asked, glad for a change in conversation.

"You're not fooling me," the old man said. He sighed. "Far be it from me to meddle in my employees' affairs, but if you love her, fight for her. Don't sneak around behind her back and complain to every sympathetic ear."

"I didn't ask your opinion."

"Then don't bother me with every little detail. Use your discretion." Fuyutski leveled his gaze on him. "Your professional discretion. Hopefully you haven't lost all of it."

"I just think it's a bad idea to let her run around without restraints."

The commander was about to respond, but a blink from his terminal stayed his tongue.

"There, see?" Fuyutski said, pointing at the screen. "The captain has erased all the files she downloaded. No need to worry."

"She could have just copied them to disc."

"And do what with them? Show them to Ikari's son? I doubt it."

"Fine," Kaji said. "Believe what you want. I'll do my job, you do yours." He stood to leave. The commander watched with tired humor. "I'll keep my eye on her, since no one else will." Kaji left, the door sliding shut behind him.

_There's no way Katsuragi could ever be happy with him.

* * *

_

Shinji arrived at the apartment at 5:57, punctual to a fault, as Misato desperately tried to finish cleaning.

"Damn Rei," she muttered, flinging a pair of pants into her room. "She just had to go to school today, didn't she? She knows this is important, damn it." She straightened herself, checking in a mirror how she looked. Her eyes only saw the imperfections, the crow's feet starting at her eyes, the slight sag of her breast, the subtle widening of her hips.

_It isn't my fault. I don't have time to hit the gym. Damn. All the beer and junk food is killing me._

"He is here," Rei said.

"I know, I know, just hold on. Get the door, will you?"

"I did."

Misato saw Shinji staring at her in her reflection, mouth open a little, the color rising in his cheeks.

_Great! He saw me checking myself out!_

"Misato-san. Wow. You look… you look great."

She smiled.

"Oh, this old thing?" she said, flippantly disavowing the hours she'd spent getting ready. "I just threw it on before you got here."

"Still…" He scuffed his feet. "I feel a little underdressed."

She went over him, a button-up and slacks.

"Nonsense," she said, grinning. "You look great, too." _Good enough to eat._

Shinji, not used to such candid approval of his appearance, blushed.

"I, uh, brought a gift." He held out a small package of teas.

Misato almost laughed at his formality.

"You didn't have to," she said, reaching for it with the intent to stroke his hand.

Rei beat her to it, snatching the tea and sniffing at it, nodding her approval.

"Damn Rei," she mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, oh, nothing. Come on, dinner's almost ready. Hope you don't mind vegetarian. Rei's a vegan."

Shinji nodded, unsure how to respond.

"Sorry," Misato went on, "the place is a little messy."

He took a real look around.

_This is a little messy?_

"I hope you didn't go to any trouble for me."

"No trouble at all." She turned to the kitchen. "Hey, Rei-chan, what's cooking?"

"Instant ramen."

Misato clenched her jaw. She flashed a smile at Shinji.

"Just a moment, please?"

He nodded.

Misato cornered Rei by the microwave, hands on her hips.

"What the hell do you mean instant ramen?" she hissed. "You told me you were going to cook. That was the deal, remember? I clean, you cook tonight."

"I do not know how to prepare anything else," Rei stated. She held up two bags. "Do you want spicy or regular?"

"Damn it! Don't they teach you kids anything useful in school? What happened to home ec?"

"I find it sexist and demeaning. Besides, you do not cook, either."

"Now is not the time."

"Boy," Shinji said from the living room in a loud voice, "you know what I haven't had in ages? Instant ramen. I was just thinking how good some would taste right now."

Misato frowned. She should have known he'd acquiesce to anything she served. Still, he had a right to make a little fuss.

"Sorry," she said, coming out of the kitchen. "We could go out and eat…"

Shinji glanced at Rei and saw her face. He smiled.

"But you promised me a home cooked meal. Instant is fine. Really."

Rei held up two packages.

"Regular or spicy?"

* * *

The noodles were served, Rei dropping a cup before each of them. She sat next to Misato and began eating immediately. She received an elbow from her guardian. 

"Why don't we say grace before we eat?"

"Why?"

"Just… because. Shinji-kun, will you do the honors?"

He tensed.

"Um… thank you for the food?"

Misato touched chopsticks with him.

"Thank you for the food!" she chimed.

Rei started eating again.

Shinji shifted, missing the support of a chair. He tried to touch his back without drawing any notice to himself.

"You know," Misato said over a mouthful, "nothing draws attention to itself like stealthy actions." She smiled sadly. "How is it today?"

He chuckled self-consciously.

"Oh, it's been worse. Don't worry."

Rei raised a brow but remained silent.

_His injury was that serious?_ she thought. She mentally tucked the information away. Rei listened with little interest as Misato and Shinji made light conversation, carefully designed for her ears. She learned of his new apartment, Misato's help in filling it up, his job at a computer manufacturing plant, and a few humorous stories from the JSSDF's staff. Depth and seriousness were strictly avoided.

"So then Hyuuga said to me, 'it would be an honor to die next to you'!" Misato laughed. "What a weirdo!"

Shinji smiled without knowing why, but was happy to do so. Rei made no motion.

"Is Hyuuga-san a good friend of yours?"

Misato laughed again.

"I guess. He's also a friend of yours."

"What?"

She glanced at Rei.

"Ah, I'll tell you some other time."

"Oh, okay."

Misato didn't know if she was glad or angry that he was so easily pacified. She tried to tell herself it didn't matter.

"You've been rather quiet tonight, Rei-chan," she said.

"No more than usual."

Shinji glanced at Rei and fidgeted. Misato knew their first impression wasn't as favorable as she wanted, but it was better than some guy sauntering in owning the place, or outright ignoring her.

_I wish this was easier on her. But damn it, I have needs too._

"So," Misato said, trying to start a conversation they could all share in, "how are Hikari and Asuka doing?" She glanced at Shinji. "The two you met on the train."

"Oh, yes. They seemed… like nice girls."

"They are very much the same as they were then," Rei said, still focused on her meal.

"Ah… how did you all meet?" Shinji asked.

_Good for you,_ Misato thought. _At least you're trying to make a connection._

"School."

"Oh. Well, that's convenient. You can see each other almost every day." Shinji looked to Misato to jump in, but she simply smiled. "Uh… how do you like school?"

"It is acceptable for this stage of my life." Rei looked at him. "How did you like school?" she asked, lacking his good natured curiosity.

Shinji bit his lip. Misato was about to rescue him when he spoke.

"I'll be honest. I'm glad it's over. It was difficult for me." He wore a gentle smile.

Rei went back to her food.

"I should not have brought it up."

"N-no. It's okay," Shinji said, desperate to avoid conflict. "I don't mind."

_Liar,_ Misato and Rei both thought.

"I can totally relate," Misato said. "School was a pain. Especially officer training. There was this old fossil of a dinosaur who rode me hard just because I was a girl."

Rei observed Shinji gradually deflate as she talked. Had she known him better, or permitted herself to like him, she might have spoken up. As things stood, she watched and remained silent.

"But I showed him," Misato went on. "I graduated top of my class. Got a cushy job and everything. Plus, I think he died or something." She gulped her beer. "Showed him."

"That's good for you," Shinji offered. "I'm impressed. I suspected you were talented, Misato-san."

She scratched her nose, soaking in contentment.

"Heh. Thanks. I don't mean to brag. It just kind of slipped out."

"It isn't bragging if it's the truth," Shinji said. He made a silent plea she stop talking about the JSSDF. "You have a right to be proud."

"You're right. I do. Thanks."

Rei stood and collected her dishes.

"Where are you going?" Misato asked.

"You two probably want to be alone," she said, looking at Shinji. "I will retire for the night."

"You don't have to leave, Ayanami-san."

Rei gave him a slightly disgusted glare.

"Yes, I do."

She left for her room, not looking back once.

"I don't think she likes me," Shinji said after a moment.

"She doesn't like anyone I bring home. Don't take it personal."

"Oh."

She scooted next to him. Shinji noticed her beer was almost empty.

"I was, ah, going to bring wine, but I didn't know if it was appropriate." He nodded towards Rei's room.

"Hmm? Oh, don't worry. She never touches the stuff. Though I think that little redheaded friend of hers steals my beer."

"That's… that's awful!" He thought for a moment. "Soryu-san, right?"

Bored, Misato nodded.

"Let's not talk about them, okay?"

"Oh, okay. Sorry."

She waved his apology away and moved closer. Their thighs touched.

"Uh, um, sh-should I help clear the table?"

"You're cute, you know that, right?"

Shinji blushed.

"Wh-what?"

"You're especially cute when you stutter and blush like that."

Misato eyed him as she drained her drink. He did not look comfortable or pleased. He swallowed hard.

"Thank you, I suppose." He stared at his hands. They both waited in pregnant silence. "Oh, I think you're very attractive too, Misato-san."

_Of course he'd say that,_ she thought.

"You do?" She decided to try and be coy. "You really think so?"

"Oh, yes." He was quick to affirm her beauty. "I really think so." He bit his tongue to keep from saying how much.

"I like you, Shinji-kun." She leaned over, brushing her shoulder against his, subtly forcing him to face her. Coyness be damned.

"I, uh, like you too, Misato-san."

"Good."

He remembered her caressing his face, then her lips on his. His voice hid and his mind released him. His body betrayed his thoughts, and he was hers to take. Even as she sucked on his bottom lip, he wished for escape, to run away. Her hands found his chest, and his stayed at his sides. Her mouth opened, forcing his as well, and her tongue entered him. She was warm and wet in his mouth, licking his tongue and roof. At one point, he felt her heart next to his, beating with mad excitement. His own seemed to slow and grow heavy. He shut his eyes tight, until they hurt from the pressure, hoping to believe this was a dream, a fantasy, and that he would get out of it by telling himself that.

Her arms slipped under his, and she cupped his face, making his head conform to her desires. She felt her dress hike up as she straddled him, but she did not care. She knew she was ready, and briefly fantasized about taking him right there in the living room with her charge only a door away. She pinned him, running her fingers down his arms until they locked around his wrists. She required his hands to touch her, and she was thrilled with how it felt.

"Shinji," she breathed.

He woke up when he felt the floor on his back.

* * *

Rei heard the front door to the apartment shut. She sighed. 

_She did not even bother to say goodbye this time._

Wearily, Rei got off her bed and headed to the kitchen to do the dishes. She stopped in mid-stride when she found Misato sitting at the table, staring at her empty beer can.

"Heya, Rei-chan," she said.

"Misato. Ikari-san left?"

"Yup." She flicked her finger and the can toppled over.

"You are not with him?"

"Nope." Misato sighed. "I think I really messed up, Rei."

"Are you sure?" Rei was familiar enough with her guardian by now to know her moods, and how she should react to them. She slipped into therapist mode without conscious thought. She sat beside her.

Misato buried her head in her hands.

"I came on too strong," was the muffled response.

_And when has that been a problem?_

"He's had a real hard past, and I wasn't thinking. I was too damn busy thinking about—" She cut herself off, remembering who she was addressing. "I messed up."

"You contracted him sexually and he reacted badly?"

Misato wondered how her life had culminated to this point; talking about her sex life with a fourteen year old albino orphan.

"Yeah."

"There is a first for all things," Rei murmured.

"What?"

"Nothing. Are you afraid you have ruined what relationship you have established already?"

Misato sighed. She laid her head sideways on her arm, free hand playing with the beer can.

"Yeah. I mean, I worked really hard not to come on too strong, and it was killing me. I really… wanted him, you know? Now I've screwed it all up."

"Things happen for a reason. You may not always know why, but they do. It may also be true that things are not as damaged as you think they are."

Misato attempted a smile.

"Are you trying to make me feel better?"

"A little."

The door buzzed. The two women looked up.

"Who the hell could that be?" Misato asked, blinking back tears. "At this hour?"

"Who do you think?" Rei muttered. At fourteen, Rei was perfectly aware of how the human male operated. They were without exception hulking, lumbering oafs, desiring only the pleasure of a woman and often times, power. In her mind, the two were inseparable. Power over the female meant pleasure, and vice versa. She had seen it often enough.

Rei answered the door. She was not surprised to find Shinji behind it, looking like a misbehaving pet.

"Ayanami-san." He blushed. "Sorry. Is… is Misato-san available?"

"Shinji-kun?"

He looked away.

"Rei? Could you give us a sec?"

"I don't want to be a bother," Shinji whispered, mostly to himself.

Rei moved aside and Misato stepped towards him. He jumped back, giving her room, but she took it the wrong way.

"I'll be in in a little," Misato said to Rei, staring at Shinji. She left the apartment and the door closed.

Rei didn't know what possessed her to stay by the front door and eavesdrop. She only knew that she did. She closed her eyes and listened, feeling the blood move in her veins.

* * *

There was a small light over her door's entrance, flickering slightly, that stood surveying over them. The apartment complex's main courtyard below them gave a faint glow of artificial light. The night air hit them in the open hallway, and far above their heads the stars watched and waited. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered. His eyes were red and puffy. "I'm sorry."

Misato resisted the urge to hug him.

"You don't have to apologize. I do." She almost took his hand. "I'm sorry, Shinji-kun."

He shook his head adamantly.

"No. I was the one who ran out. I… I just couldn't. I'm sorry." He bowed, fully expecting punishment for his actions. "Please forgive me."

Misato refrained from touching him, afraid he'd dart away.

"G-give me another chance, please." He slowly straightened up. "I'll be better, I promise. I won't…" He choked on the words but managed to keep from crying. "I can't be alone," he whispered.

"You're not alone, Shinji-kun," Misato said. "I won't leave you alone. Even… even if you only want me as a friend." She smiled. "I want to be your friend, Shinji-kun."

He stared at his feet. His shoulders shook.

"Thank you."

They stayed like that for a time, until he composed himself, until the world and its concerns returned to them. Misato hugged herself to keep warm, and Shinji was reawakened by the movement.

"It must be late," he said.

"Yeah."

He couldn't leave like this. Not on such uncertain terms. He forced himself to make a choice, and bashfully held her hand.

"I do like you, Misato-san. I'm just… not quite ready yet."

Shinji took an awkward step forward and she readied herself for contact. He pursed his lips, and took a breath. He bent over and kissed her hand. She blushed at the act.

"Maybe next time you and Ayanami-san can come over to my place for dinner. I can't promise much more than instant, but I'll try."

She smiled, and felt warm, and happy. Everything seemed right with the world.

_True love waits,_ she thought. _And so can I.

* * *

_

End of Chapter 6

Author notes: man! Isn't that the cheesiest ending to a chapter _ever? _

The next chapter won't be up for a week or two. I am required at a mandatory family reunion in Jersey. Ugh. That means I won't have access to a computer for awhile. Sorry.

(Squeals) Thanks for the kind reviews. So, you guys just keep trying to bring Mana back into this, huh? Don't hold your breath. But I am writing a new story focusing on her. Expect it in… awhile. Production continues on my Asuka story (it's… dark) and I'm also whoring myself out on a R/S fic, filled with waff. At the same time I'm getting ideas about a short fantasy thing, and a long supernatural rewrite. Fuck. That and Misato keeps yelling at me to write a lemon side story for TLW. She's scary.

Hikari's message name is cute and random. But I think Rei's is funny. It's straight to the point of who it is, but it could also be read as "a Rei". Sorry. I told you to bear with my humor.

Misato reading up on Shinji. That's a little, well, bad, but her heart was in the right place. No, wait, it wasn't. Damn. Forget it.

Misato's dress. Sorry, I couldn't think of a fitting description of something stunning. Use your imaginations.

Phew. Got a little limey there for a minute. Sorry. Didn't plan on it going there, but it did. And for the record, I think hand kissing is classy. And a little cheesy. Sorta like Shinji. And the ending of this chapter.

Big thanks to the _Princess Mononoke_ soundtrack and all the various cds from _Ghost in the Shell_. You help me write good.


	7. Chapter 7

True Love Waits Chapter 7

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: I return, still not owning Eva or Radiohead, from my exile in Jersey.

* * *

"Agent Kaji!"

"Huh?"

He slipped off his hand and his face hit the table.

"I'm sorry if this bores you," Fuyutski said, "but the rest of us are depending on the MAGI. If you can't stay awake, get out."

"Sorry, sir," he replied, trying on a smile. He glanced at Misato, hoping to catch her eye, but she wasn't looking at him. She was focused on the screen displayed before them in the conference room, monitoring the MAGI integration. Dr. Akagi sat next to him and gave a sour look. Ibuki sat behind her, taking notes. Dr. Soryu was not to be found. "I'll try my best to keep up with this fascinating discussion, sir."

"See that you do." The commander turned back to the screen and resumed his briefing. Kaji closed his eyes again.

Last night had not been a good night. Misato had invited that Ikari kid over for dinner, but about an hour later, he ran out crying with his shirt unbuttoned. Kaji could only imagine what happened, since his section had yet to install the bugs in her apartment. But he could guess.

Ikari had gotten about a block away before stopping, talking to himself, and heading back. Kaji hadn't caught the conversation he had with Misato outside her apartment, but he was able to follow most of it through a pair of binoculars. He wasn't pleased with how it had turned out at all.

_Damn Katsuragi. She never blushed like that when I kissed her body parts. And it was just her hand. What the hell?_

Kaji sighed. How had things gotten so messed up between them?

He recalled their early courtship in officer's training. Certainly not the most romantic situation, but they made it work. Between studies and jobs, they had formed a deep relationship, at least in Kaji's eyes. Misato was the first woman that he actually enjoyed being around when sex wasn't involved. That had to mean something. Not that sex wasn't part of their rapport. It was the basis of it.

Those days had a light to them. Skipping class to fuck, sleeping late, playing house. Looking back on it, that was the happiest time in his life. Trying to recapture those feelings had failed with Misato. Perhaps it was time for something different.

It was time to try and make it right.

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 7

* * *

"Katsuragi! Wait up!" 

Kaji jogged after the departing captain, trying to wave her down. The conference was over and work had begun in earnest for the day. Well, for everyone else. Kaji was forced to sit still until Shinji did something, which could be weeks from now.

"What do you want?"

He grinned.

"I need an excuse to talk with you? That's harsh, Katsuragi."

She wasn't frowning. That was a good sign.

"Actually, you do need an excuse." She grinned back. "What is it?"

On an entirely different level of consciousness, Kaji knew the grin wasn't meant to be inviting. He forced himself to believe it was.

"Just wanted to see how you were, that's all."

"Fine. Great, even."

"Great? Wow. Glad to hear it. I'd like to think I'm the cause of this great mood you're in."

"But you're not." Misato kept walking down the hall to her office. "In fact, I doubt even you could ruin it for me."

_She thinks so much of that kid?_

"I don't know if you looked at your calendar today," he said, "but it's an important date."

Misato shrugged, telling him she had no idea.

"Well," he continued, undeterred, "it's the sixteenth. Remember?"

Misato stopped and sighed.

"What is it, Kaji?" she asked, getting annoyed.

"Think about it. Where were you ten years ago today?"

Misato groaned. Kaji wondered if reminding her about her age was such a good idea.

"Ten years ago… I was in officer's training—" She cut herself off and frowned. "Okay. I give. What the hell do you think you're doing, Kaji?"

"Is it such an awful memory, Katsuragi? Are you really still so cross with me?"

Misato rubbed her temples. She sighed through her nose.

"In all honesty, no, I'm not angry with you any more."

Kaji smiled. She couldn't stay angry with him. He moved closer.

"To tell the truth, I've moved past it. I don't care what you do anymore." Misato looked him in the eye. "Go screw whoever you want. It's none of my concern anymore."

Kaji was proud he kept from showing his heart.

"None of your concern?" he said. "I'm surprised to hear that from you. I didn't think you were one to give up, Katsuragi."

"As I recall, you were the one who gave up on us."

Kaji smiled sadly.

"So the anniversary really means nothing to you now?"

"Of course it does," she admitted. "But I can't live in the past with you anymore."

Kaji moved in front of her, blocking her path. The hallway suddenly seemed very small to Misato.

"I don't want to live in the past anymore, either." He struggled to make her understand. "Katsuragi, I know I've made mistakes, and I'm sorry. But let's be honest. We know each other too well to let this go."

"I don't have time for this."

"Well, it isn't like you're seeing anyone else," Kaji said, adept at lying. "Or are you?" He crossed his arms. "You never were very good at keeping secrets."

"I am seeing someone else," she said, hoping it was really true. "But it isn't any of your business."

He covered his surprise at her disclosure.

"Who?"

"Like I said, none of your business."

"How can you say that? After all we've been through?"

"All we've been through? Does that include the bad and the good?"

Kaji refused to believe he had ruined things.

"Good or bad, we have a history. And I want us to have a future, as well."

Misato looked at him, and stayed quiet for a time.

"There's no more 'us', Kaji. You saw to that." She held up a hand as he was about to retaliate. "Sorry. I can't blame you forever. I deserve some of the blame for staying with you."

"Damn it, Katsuragi, you know I care about you."

Misato glanced away.

"You can't tell me you don't still care about me, too," he said.

"Get out of my way," she said.

"Not until you answer me."

"I don't owe you an answer," Misato said. The look in her eyes made him back off a step. She went around him and started down the hall.

"I can't believe this kid means so much to you."

It seemed a cruel joke that he was assigned to spy on the child she was involved with. Like the gods had a personal vendetta against him.

Misato froze.

"What?"

Kaji closed his eyes and swore.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"No. Don't you dare. What the hell are you talking about?"

He kept his eyes closed.

"I overheard the commander and Ritsuko talking," he lied. "Your boy Ikari is under surveillance."

She had long ago learned to distrust her gut around Kaji, and as such, was unable to read him. Her gut told her he was lying.

"I know that," she said.

"I'm not surprised."

"Is that what all this has been about? Can't stand to see me happy with anyone but you?" She clenched her fists. "Open your God damn eyes."

He did.

"God forbid I like Shinji. And God forbid he actually makes me happy." She shook her head. "The entire world does not revolve around you and your psychoses, Kaji."

"What are you really after with this boy?"

"I just told you! He makes me happy." She smirked. "And he's no boy."

_Then why was he crying last night?_

"He's twenty-one."

"He'll be twenty-two in June."

"Oh, excuse me. That makes him an adult, alright."

Misato jabbed a finger at him.

"He's more of an adult than you. He actually cares about how I feel and takes time to listen to me. He isn't a self-centered, egotistical, sex fiend like you!"

"Self-centered and egotistical I'll let pass," Kaji said. "But sex fiend? Come off it. Some of the things you made me do back then still make me blush." He leaned in close. "So, have you had him yet? Have you deflowered the little kid? Has he learned what makes your knees turn to jelly and makes you scream? Or doesn't he know what to do?"

Her eyes flashed.

"My relationships, though none of your business, do not always revolve around sex. We've decided to take things slow."

"You mean he's decided to take things slow. You can't fool me for a second, Katsuragi." Kaji shrugged. "He's probably worried he's lousy in bed. Why else would he pass up a free lunch?"

It took all Misato's will power not to break his jaw.

"The only thing you've achieved here is to remind me how nice a guy Shinji is, and what a louse you are. Mission accomplished, asshole."

She turned and left him in the hallway. He watched her go and slumped against the wall.

"God damn it."

* * *

"So you had dinner with Ikari-san?" 

Rei sighed. She was still trying to figure out how that slipped out.

"Yes," she said.

"And? What happened?"

"He questioned me about school and you two."

Asuka squealed in delight.

"Great. He's thinking about me. I can't blame him. Once I make an impression on someone, they can never forget me."

The three girls sat in the empty classroom at lunch, circled around Rei's desk. This scene, the three of them eating together, had increasingly become the norm since Asuka and Hikari met Shinji. Rei, lacking the mental fortitude or will to tell them to leave, let herself be harassed everyday, in the vain hope that it would somehow contribute to the idea of "socializing" which Misato spoke of so often. All she had acquired so far was a headache, and a further annoyance with Ikari Shinji.

"So he really asked about us?" Hikari said, blushing.

"Yes. He asked how we met. I replied that we met in school."

"And?"

"And what? That was all."

Asuka frowned.

"Come on, there has to be more."

Rei sighed, then recounted the entire evening, from Misato's frenzied last minute cleaning, to when she left the table. She carefully omitted her conversation with her guardian and Shinji's return. They didn't need to know everything, after all.

"And he offered to cook for the two of us next time." Rei caught the glint in Asuka's eyes. "No, you two are not invited."

"Oh, come on!" Asuka whined. "You can't hog him all to yourself."

"It is not my decision. Misato is set on him. I have no say."

"Don't you like him?" Hikari asked. "Even a little?"

"No."

"Whatever, Second. If you can't appreciate fine men then move aside and let a real woman take him."

"One is attempting to."

Asuka chose to ignore Rei's last remark. She picked out the meat from her bento and left the rice.

"So are you sure that's all that happened last night? They weren't like, holding hands or anything, right? She didn't kiss him, did she?"

"I do not know," Rei replied, deciding to prey on Asuka's fears. "They spoke outside for a time. I could not hear what they did."

"Well, it couldn't have been anything too lewd; they were in public."

Hikari thought about lewd public acts with Ikari Shinji before she could stop herself. She discreetly dabbed her mouth, checking for a nose bleed.

"It's kind of hard to imagine Ikari-san being… dirty, Asuka," she said.

"He is overly polite," Rei agreed.

"And what's wrong with that? Better than some ape of a guy who can't keep his hands to himself. Or some egomaniac lady killer. Those are the worst."

"Ikari-san is an… unusual man. I will admit that much," Rei said.

"I don't know why you don't like him," Hikari said. "He seemed like he wanted to be your friend."

Rei resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"In my experience, men and women do not make friends," she said.

"Do you… do you think he's interested in you too?"

Asuka gave a short bark of a laugh.

"No," Rei said. "He is merely trying to get into Misato's good graces." She didn't bother telling them what Misato's good graces were.

"Um, it seems he's already in them." Hikari blushed as she thought she crossed a line. "O-of course, what would I know? I mean, you've spent more time around him, so it makes sense that you know what you're talking about."

Rei did not respond.

"I don't know, Hikari," Asuka said, smirking. "Maybe he is interested in wondergirl. She isn't exactly experienced when it comes to guys."

"More so than you."

Asuka almost fell off her chair.

"What? How do you figure that?"

"How many men has your mother brought home in your lifetime?"

"Wh-what? That's none of your business!"

Rei shook her head.

"I have lost count of how many Misato has brought home. I have had to interact with most of them. Therefore, my knowledge about men is superior to yours."

Asuka, even in the face of insurmountable evidence, refused to concede defeat.

"That's crap! What does it matter if your guardian is a slut? That doesn't make you an authority on all things male."

"Well," Hikari whispered, "she does have more experience than we do."

"Unbelievable! I'm surrounded by morons!"

Rei was saved from further conversation by the class bell. Students began to gradually file back in. Asuka stood and returned to her own desk without a word. Hikari apologized for her, and left too. Rei found it strange she was actually looking forward to lectures in school now.

"It's odd…" Hikari said, passing by Asuka's desk.

"What?"

"Don't you find it weird? I mean, she never defends Katsuragi-san. Like she hates her or something."

"Feh. If my parent was Misato I wouldn't defend her either."

Class began, and students fell out of conscious thought. Rei looked out the window and waited for the day's life to end.

* * *

The JSSDF command center was abuzz with activity as techs and scientists readied the next phase of the MAGI supercomputer installation. Misato stood at the control platform with Ritsuko, overlooking the process. 

"I heard you had a pretty heated argument with Kaji today," Ritsuko said.

"Who'd you hear that from?"

"Oh, here and there. The office grapevine is surprisingly a lot like a high school. If something of interest happens, others will be sure to know about it."

"This isn't making me feel any better."

"I wasn't trying to."

Misato, still recovering from her morning encounter with Kaji, decided she was going to have to look elsewhere for support and understanding. The quiet smile that Ritsuko wore told her so.

"Where's Soryu?" she asked, trying to steer the conversation away from herself.

"Sulking in her lab." Ritsuko covered her mouth. "Uh, sorry, Ibuki-kun."

"Oh, no, Dr. Akagi. It's okay. She has been moody lately." Maya glanced up from her post to assure no harm was done. "I can understand why she's so upset, but her behavior is a little juvenile."

The doctor gave a slight nod.

"It's not like she's the only one with issues around this system. We all have reservations."

"That's putting it mildly," Misato said.

She looked out over the operation, her usual positive impression of large scale procedures like this sullied by Kaji's words. The explanation he gave of how he found out Shinji was being watched was eating at her, and she knew she'd have to confront it sooner or later. Misato decided today was as good as any other.

"What were the specifics of our argument? Did you hear that much?"

Ritsuko looked up.

"Hmm? You still want to talk about that?" She shrugged to herself. "No, I didn't hear, but I can guess." She smiled. "He's still hoping for another chance?"

"That's how it started, but it branched out into other unpleasant areas."

Maya kept her eyes on her work, but was amazed with what indifference the two talked about relationships. She hoped she'd never become that jaded. Of course, she also hoped for a relationship to begin with.

"More unpleasant than getting back together with him? That's hard to believe."

Misato frowned, angry with how flippant Ritsuko was today.

"Yeah. It seems Kaji knew I was spending time with someone else lately. My friend I told you about. You know, the one I was helping find an apartment for."

Ritsuko stiffened a bit, but remained calm.

"Oh, really? You don't think he was spying on you, do you?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," Misato said. "But someone was definitely keeping tabs on me. Have any idea who?"

Ritsuko felt her cool rapidly disintegrating.

"Why would I have any idea?"

"Oh, I don't know. Just a hunch." Misato crossed her arms. "Since you were so curious last time, and since we're such good friends, I think I'll tell you who I've been spending time with." She paused, waiting for Ritsuko to face her. "Ikari Shinji."

The doctor played innocent.

"Really. Not much of a surprise. It didn't take a genius to realize that."

"Oh, yeah, we've been spending lots of time together lately. I really care about him. You know, this could get pretty serious."

Ritsuko covered her cringe with a fake cough.

"Well, I can't exactly condone it, but I'm happy for you. Really."

"Oh, I'm glad," Misato said. "Is there… anything you want to say to me, Ritsu? Anything at all?"

A tense moment passed in silence. Ritsuko licked her lips.

"So you know."

"Kaji let it slip out."

"I'll have to thank him."

Misato nodded vaguely.

"Please do."

Maya typed faster, the tension driving her crazy. She swallowed hard.

"Uh… Dr. Akagi, this calculation is—"

"It can wait," Misato said.

Ritsuko sighed.

"Look. It doesn't change anything. Even if you knew you wouldn't have been able to change it."

"Huh. You know I had hoped if you saw how serious I was with him, that, oh, I don't know, you might have acted like a friend and told me."

The doctor looked away.

"You knew. You knew Shinji was under surveillance and you didn't tell me? What kind of a friend are you?"

Ritsuko took the blow with indifference.

"The kind that does her job. Sorry, Misato, but your little flings don't take priority in the real world. Remember that."

"It's not a fling."

Ritsuko leisurely removed her glasses and polished them with a tail of her lab coat.

"Leopards can't change their spots, Misato."

The captain moved to leave.

"Don't stay with him just to prove me wrong, or because you feel you have to," Ritsuko called after her. "You'd only hurt yourself and him."

Misato exited the command bridge without a word or look back. Ritsuko and Maya both sighed, for different reasons.

"Um… sorry, Dr. Akagi," Maya said, sympathizing.

"Don't worry, Ibuki-kun. She'll find me in a day or two with a peace offering. She always does."

Maya frowned, certain the dynamic between the two older women was beyond her. Still, despite her initial fears about working with Ritsuko, she was finding the doctor not as catty and cold as she originally believed. She missed Dr. Soryu's strict rules and professionalism, but found herself glad to have a break from her ego.

"How are you holding up?" the doctor asked, as if reading her mind.

"What? Oh, um, okay, I guess. No problems, ma'am."

"Good."

Ritsuko was glad to have another like-minded individual working with her, a pleasant change from Misato and her perpetual troubles. Any early guilt she had about stealing Maya away from Soryu had disappeared. The girl was a hard worker, and a sympathetic ear. It was clear why Soryu held on to her.

But in order to integrate the MAGI into the JSSDF mainframe, both doctors had to work together, a scenario neither found appealing. So Maya became the go-between for them, stretched thin to accommodate her old sempai and her new one.

She sighed.

"So, Ibuki-kun. The day's almost over. Any plans tonight?"

Maya blinked.

"Huh? Oh, uh, not really, ma'am."

"Want to grab a bite to eat? My treat." It was the least she could offer. Poor girl's been running herself ragged.

"Oh, uh, um, sorry, Dr. Akagi, but I'm supposed to meet Dr. Soryu for dinner and go over the day's procedures. You could come too, but, well…"

Ritsuko snorted softly.

"No, that's alright. I think I'll pass. Maybe some other time."

"Um, s-sure."

Ritsuko sighed as she checked her watch. Another twenty-three minutes. Then another dinner alone, followed by another night alone.

_Damn._

Maybe it was time she seriously thought about finding someone. She wondered how Misato did it. She seemed to attract men no matter where she went. Ritsuko couldn't help but feel she repelled them.

_Maybe if I just put myself out there I'll catch a nice one. _Her eyes drifted past Maya's shoulder to overlook her work. _Though not one so young as Misato's.

* * *

_

Shinji sneezed.

He had just added the vegetables to his stew when he suddenly needed to cover his nose. He shook his head, washed his hands, and added a few cubes of chicken bullion to the mix. He sat and waited for it to simmer.

He sniffled, and as his hand touched his lips, he thought of Misato. He blushed, of course, as he reflected on the previous night, and the kisses she had given him. She was quite enthusiastic, he mused. In his mind he could still feel the heat of her body against his.

And suddenly, he thought of Mana. He could still remember the way Mana kissed, the way she felt, the way she smelled; he still remembered her. And what was he doing, not six months away from her? Getting into another relationship with a woman. And within the same organization she worked for. He thought himself disgusting.

"It's just too soon," he said.

_But I can't make her wait forever._ He wondered if there was a set time on mourning and loss. He wasn't in the position to ask anyone, anyways. _She's already expressed an interest,_ he thought. _It wouldn't be fair to string her along._ More than anything else, he was afraid she'd tire of waiting, tire of him, and leave.

"I can't be alone."

He bowed his head.

_How long will she tolerate me?_ He tried to picture her telling him to leave, and found it difficult. He smiled. Misato made him smile. Just thinking of her made him smile. And he liked her, too. She was fun to be around. She was a good person.

"She deserves more than I can give her."

The stew was done, so he turned the stove off. Somehow, he wasn't hungry anymore. He poured a bowl anyway, and watched it cool. It was thin and watery, but that was fine. He was cooking on a budget, after all. He took a sip and frowned. Cooking with Mana's budget had been far more appetizing.

He pushed his bowl back and sighed. How long until he stopped thinking about her? She lied to him, for years, and still he felt he should be with her.

_I guess it isn't as easy as I thought it was going to be. One doesn't walk away from seven years without a second thought. _He knew that sooner or later he'd have to come to terms with it. But he'd had months to do that, and he didn't seem any closer than he was when he packed up his life and left her.

"Mana," he breathed.

There was no easy way to forget. There was no easy way to move on. Shinji sighed again, the scent of cheap stew heavy in the air. He tried to think of Misato, but Mana's face kept appearing instead. He tried to recapture the feel of Misato's body, but his hands only felt Mana.

He gave up on dinner and thinking. He pushed away from the table and went to bed. He didn't bother taking his clothes off, or getting under the covers. It didn't seem worth it. He stared up, letting his mind wander and fade. He thought of nothing, and simply was, for a time.

"Another unfamiliar ceiling."

He closed his eyes and fell into a fitful sleep. He did not dream, and did not awake until the next morning.

* * *

End of chapter 7

Author's notes: next chapter is a steel cage death match as Shinji and Kaji finally meet.

Wow. Thank you all for reviewing. Imagine my surprise when I got home from Jersey and found almost twenty reviews. The fact that all of them were positive… it boggles my mind that people actually like this. It truly amazes me. Thank you. I also got a few that are trying to make me turn this into an R/S fic. Hmm… I'm certainly not opposed to the pairing…

Was Kaji sincere? I think so. Like in the series, he loves her, but for whatever reason, can't tell her. I know manga Kaji told Shinji they don't deserve to be happy, and although his logic is debatable, the bottom line is that _he_ believes it, so for him, it's truth. For my story, his brother wasn't killed, since Second Impact never happened, but he still can't say it. Some people have a real issue with saying "I love you." This isn't a judgment, simply a matter of fact. Not everyone can say it and mean it. Maybe that's what he's afraid of.

Huh. A little shoujo-ai there. I honestly didn't plan on it, but oh well.

Big thanks to the _Rurouni Kenshin OVA: Recollections _and _Macross Plus_ soundtracks. You help me write good.


	8. Chapter 8

True Love Waits Chapter 8

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: did you see Newtype is starting to publish the _Girlfriend of Steel 2_ official manga? I've read the first few issues online, and well… don't get too excited. I'm especially wary due to the fact that someone decided to rename it "Angelic Days". I personally think "Shinji's Pimping Machine" would be a better title. Oh well. I'll still buy it.

I don't own Eva or Radiohead. But I do own the ridiculously long author notes at the end of this chapter.

* * *

"Do you want some more?" 

"Huh?"

Shinji stood by Misato's chair, his wok full of stir fried vegetables poised to serve.

"Oh, uh, sure."

He refilled her plate and she thanked him. Shinji looked over at Rei, still working on her first serving. She noticed, and glanced up in his general direction.

"It is good," she said.

He colored lightly at the compliment.

"Oh, thanks." He smiled and returned to the stove.

Rei peered at him carefully, trying to make out why her friends were so enraptured with him. She finally decided he was not unattractive.

"See something you like?" Misato asked, grinning. "Or are you just shopping around?"

"Just wondering how he keeps his place so clean."

"Oh."

Rei was impressed with how neat Shinji's apartment was. It was a kind of novelty for her, living the way she did.

Misato looked around at the humble dwelling, and found it spotless. She wondered if she could hire him for her own home. Her eyes drifted to Shinji, then to his behind. She sighed. How much longer did he need? Misato was getting antsy, and there was only so much she could do by herself. A month or so had passed since he kissed her hand, and that seemed to be the extent of his affections. He would hold hands, and last night he'd hugged her, but that was it. It was driving her crazy. She felt like she was in grade school. Maybe Shinji thought she had cooties.

She'd never waited this long before. It was a change, but then again, so was Shinji. A year ago even, she never would have given him a second look. He was young, naïve, cute, gentle, didn't ooze sexuality, and lacked confidence in himself. He was the furthest thing from what she considered her type.

Misato frowned.

So what, then? Had she really changed so much?

She looked at Shinji's smiling face, and decided she had.

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 8

* * *

"Thanks again for dinner," Misato said, heading out the door with Rei. "I never knew vegetables could taste good." 

He smiled.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Come over any time."

Rei gave a modest bow.

"The meal was good, Ikari-san."

"Thank you, Ayanami-san."

Misato chuckled at his use of the honorific.

"Well, we'd better be going. Shinji-kun, a pleasure as always." She gave him a smile, hoping for at least another hug. He didn't smile back. Instead, he adopted a serious air, knitting his brow together. He glanced at Rei. "Hey, what's with the scary face?"

He gently folded his arms around her, brushing her cheek with his own. Her hands automatically went up his back. There was probably some obscure universal rule that dry-humping your boyfriend in front of your teenage charge was wrong, but Misato heeded it anyway. Even so, she stepped into the hug, maximizing contact.

He closed his eyes, and she felt his soft breath on her ear. He smelled wonderful. Like a rainy afternoon. That couldn't be natural, she thought. It wasn't quite as nice as Kaji's brand, but it would do.

_This is an awful long hug._

She wondered what he was waiting for. Not that she was complaining, just curious. She liked the way he held her: he used only his finger tips. It was a pleasant change from the end-of-date grope she was used to. In fact, everything about him was a pleasant change. He could cook, he was clean and courteous, he even held doors and chairs for her. And he was thoughtful. He made sure his apartment was stocked with her favorite beer, despite the fact he didn't drink. For the moment, in his arms, she was awash in relaxed contentment, happy to be where she was.

Misato did not hear Rei's sigh of impatience.

She peeked over his shoulder.

_And what a sweet ass. _She was only semi-conscious of her hands drifting lower. Shinji seemed to use that as his signal. His mouth moved, whispering quiet words into her ear. Misato smiled.

"You mean it?" she whispered back. She felt him hesitate, then nod. Misato decided to take a risk. She eased out of the embrace, and tenderly cupped his face. _As blue as I can imagine,_ she thought, holding his gaze. She leaned forward and kissed his chastely, a light peck. She could feel his face heat up.

It lasted only a moment, but it was enough. She stepped back and observed him. He stared at his feet, crimson.

_If this is how he reacts to a little peck…_ Misato refrained from laughing. _He's going to be so much fun. _

"Good night, Shinji-kun."

"G-good night, Misato-san." He caught Rei's bored glare. "Oh, um, good night, Ayanami-san."

Misato suddenly remembered she had a child with her.

"Oh, right. Well, uh, let's get going, Rei."

"Finally."

Shinji watched them leave. He stayed long enough to see Misato turn around and indicate she'd call him. He waved. After they were out of sight, after he heard her car roar away, he stayed. He closed his eyes, leaning on the door frame.

_I made the right decision,_ he thought. He continued to tell himself that for the rest of the night.

* * *

The blue alpine Renault sped home. 

"What is your rush?"

"Oh, nothing," Misato said, still wearing her smile. "Just beer, bath and bed."

"What did he say to you?"

"That is between consenting adults."

Rei sighed.

"You like him a lot, do you not?"

"It's kind of obvious, isn't it?" Misato laughed. "Yes, I do."

"More so than that scruffy man?" Rei had unwittingly stumbled onto Misato's current fears.

"In time, yeah. I think so." _I hope so._

Rei knew enough about her and Kaji's past to almost be impressed.

"He is a change for you," she stated.

"Yeah, he is. I like it." Misato leaned back in her seat as she waited for a red light. "He treats me right. I could get used to it."

"So I suppose I will have to get used to it, as well."

Misato frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean? Listen here, young lady. Shinji-kun's been nothing but nice to both of us since the get-go, and you've been snooty towards him without any reason. He hasn't offended you, has he?"

"No."

"Then what?"

_What is the point?_

"I need a reason to dislike someone?"

"You need a reason to like them," Misato countered.

"Perhaps you do."

"Oh, come on!" Misato gunned the engine. "What have you got against him? He's sweet, and considerate…" She smirked. "And he's easy on the eyes. What more could you want?"

"Culture, intelligence…"

"Shinji-kun's smart. Smarter than me, I'm pretty sure. He might not be in your league, oh great and powerful genius, but he's got brains." She thought. "And he's cultured. He listens to classical music just like you do. And he plays the cello."

Rei was unmoved.

"Dating someone above you? That is not like you at all."

"Watch it, or I'll make you walk home."

Rei looked out the window.

"Do you not feel badly that he is so much younger than you?"

"He's old enough. Trust me." Misato sighed. "Really now, what do you have against him?"

Rei closed her eyes.

"I just do not see what all the fuss is about."

"If you don't see it, you're going to be very lonely, Rei."

_That shut her up._

They drove in silence the rest of the trip home. They rode in silence up the elevator to their apartment. They walked in silence to their respective rooms. Misato sighed. She stripped and put on a bathrobe, making her way to the tub. She grabbed a beer from a strategically placed six-pack in the laundry room, then ran a bath.

The water ran hot and steam filled the room. Misato wiped the condensation from the mirror over the sink and washed her face. Wearing a lot of makeup wasn't a practice she normally indulged in, but she found lipstick and a little eyeliner could go a long way with prospective mates. Somehow, though, she didn't think it mattered to Shinji.

"He already called me beautiful."

She remembered that dinner, the one he blushed his way through, fidgeting and biting his lip. At the end of the night he stopped her from leaving, placing a shy hand on hers. He told her how stunning she was.

"I wasn't even wearing anything special."

Her thoughts drifted to the night she just passed with him, and the gentle embrace he gave her. She replayed the words he breathed into her again and again.

_"I think I'm ready now."

* * *

_

"So you're finally going to introduce me to the famous Ikari Shinji, hmm?"

Ritsuko put down her clipboard and grinned.

"Yeah," Misato said, the night of Shinji's confession still fresh in her mind. "We'll go out, have a couple drinks. It'll be fun." She cleared her throat. "Besides, don't you want to meet him? You already know enough about him, you dirty spy."

Ritsuko sighed at Misato's humor. It was more or less behind them now, but she'd call it up every so often when she felt punchy. Or bitchy.

"Yes, yes. You're never going to really forgive me, are you?"

"Not unless me and Shinji-kun break up."

Ritsuko hoped they would.

"So where are we going?"

"Hmm… I was thinking the Forge. How 'bout it?"

"Gee, a bar and grill. How economical of you."

"Well, Shinji-kun's treating me. I can't go five star on him and his poor bank account. What's with that look? He isn't treating you. Get your own man."

Ritsuko shook her head.

"I would have thought you would take him to the cleaners. You did with all the others who tried to be chivalrous."

"What kind of a person do you take me for? And it isn't an act with him. Shinji-kun's really just a nice guy."

"I didn't think you went for the nice guy."

"Neither did I." Misato smiled. "But, well, here we are."

"Indeed. Say, mind if I invite someone?"

Misato's reminiscent smile turned amazed.

"You! You've been seeing someone and you didn't tell me?"

"No," Ritsuko said, holding up a weary hand. "Nothing like that. It's just Maya-kun. I thought I'd treat her to something nice since she's been so busy around here lately."

"There's an easier way," Misato said. "Just swallow your pride and work with Dr. Evil."

"Like I said, I wanted to treat her to something nice." The doctor waved her hand. "I won't be working with that woman if I can help it."

"Alright, I concede defeat. Go ahead. The more the merrier."

"You aren't worried?"

"About what?"

Ritsuko laughed.

"Well, it's just that Maya-kun is a wee bit closer to Ikari-kun's age than you."

"I knew it was just a matter of time before you brought that up." She crossed her arms and frowned. "Why does everyone bring that up? He's an adult. It isn't like he's in Rei's grade or anything."

Ritsuko did some quick math.

"Isn't he closer to age with Rei than you?"

"You're not helping this whole 'friends' thing, Ritsu."

"Sorry. I promise to behave."

"Good." She checked her watch. "Let's meet up at around… seven, okay? Invite Ibuki and we'll see you there."

* * *

"Invite Ibuki" must have somehow translated into "invite the rest of work" to Ritsuko. That was the only explanation Misato could come up with as she and Shinji stepped into the Forge and found the entire main bridge crew waiting at a table, waving them over. 

Shinji began to sweat.

"Wow. You sure have a lot of friends."

"Sorry, Shinji-kun. I swear I didn't invite all of them. Ritsuko must be hard of hearing in her old age."

They approached the table with caution, neither one wanting a full-blown party tonight. Or in Shinji's case, ever. Misato took his hand and offered a small smile. She made a round of names on his behalf, then pushed him forward, keeping a hand on his back.

"Everyone, this is Ikari Shinji."

"No introductions needed," Kaji said over his drink.

One cross look and silent swear later, Misato and Shinji were seated at the table. Aoba flagged a waiter over.

"What'll you have?"

"I'll take whatever you got on tap," Misato said.

The others followed likewise. Only one abstained. Shinji ordered a soda. Kaji snorted.

"Hey there," Aoba said as the waiter left. He extended a hand to Shinji. "Nice to meet you. The captain's been real quiet about you. Doesn't want you to get away, I guess."

Shinji blushed. Maya instantly thought he was adorable.

"Sorry," Aoba said, chuckling. He ran a hand through his long hair. "Didn't mean to embarrass you."

"It's okay."

"I heard you work with computers, Ikari… san?" Hyuuga said, fumbling over the honorific. "Where do you work?"

"Oh, uh, Ichiban Industries."

"Really?" Maya squealed. "I love their games!"

Hyuuga kept quiet about his love of Shinji's employers.

"R-really? Um, which ones?"

Kaji rolled his eyes.

"Let's see," Maya said, counting on her fingers. "Abysmal Fantasy, Zero Heaven, Border Cross 1 and 2, Blue Moon Eclipse…"

Hyuuga was amazed. Her list of favorites read like a who's who of dating sims.

"Oh, really? I uh, I worked on most of those," Shinji said, blushing again.

"No way!"

"Technophiles," Aoba said, grinning.

"How do you get Maria in Blue Moon? I've tried everything."

Hyuuga listened closely, though appeared not to.

Shinji pulled on his collar.

"Gee, ah, actually you can't. She was designed that way. Sorry."

Maya didn't seem disappointed in the least. Hyuuga deflated.

"That's so interesting. Do you know why?"

Shinji smiled sadly.

"I designed her that way because she was modeled on someone I knew. I didn't want anyone to have her except me."

Maya, sensing she crossed into bad territory, backpedaled, apologizing.

"It's alright," he said.

"Can we talk about games some other time?" Kaji asked, wearing a false grin. "It's a fascinating discussion and all, but I only get to go out with my friends so often."

"Oh, sorry, sir," Shinji said, beating Maya to the apology.

_Sir?_

Misato laughed. Despite Kaji's presence and continual good health, the night was off to a good start.

* * *

The waiter returned and was thanked. Drinks were distributed and drained. Misato, feeling warm and fuzzy with a beer in her stomach, leaned into Shinji who was talking to his neighbor, Ritsuko. 

"Misato-san," he said, "you never told me you were best friends with Dr. Akagi."

Ritsuko blinked. _She thinks I'm her best friend?_ She felt warmed by the knowledge.

"Why? Is she famous or something?"

"Oh, yes. Dr. Akagi has written several fascinating papers dealing with artificial evolution theory."

Ritsuko smiled without humor.

"You must mean my mother. She dealt with that."

Before Misato could stop him, Shinji went on.

"But you are Dr. Akagi Ritsuko, aren't you?"

"Yes."

He smiled.

"The Dr. Akagi Ritsuko that wrote _Evolutionary Standards in Applied Sciences_?"

"Y-yes. How did you know about that?"

"I stumbled onto it when I was researching universities a few years ago." He scratched the back of his neck. "I'll admit there was a lot I didn't understand, but it impressed me."

Ritsuko blinked again.

"That… I'm surprised that saw the light of day. I wrote it as a thesis in college." She preferred not to think about how long ago that was. "Um, thank you."

"Wow, Ritsu, you're a celebrity." Misato drained her second glass.

"Could I see it, sempai?"

"Sure, Maya-kun," she said, not taking her eyes off Shinji. A chill ran through her, remembering his father. She was glad he didn't understand all of it.

Kaji made a mental note. Or he tried to. The four bourbons he'd ingested prior to Misato's arrival was making it difficult to focus.

"Keep an eye on this one, captain," Aoba said, grinning.

"I plan to," she said, draping a sloppy arm around his neck.

"Mi-Misato-san…"

"It's okay, Shin-chan. They know we're a couple." She kissed his cheek. He lit up and stared at the table. Maya bit her tongue to keep from saying how cute they looked. Kaji emptied his drink into his stomach.

"They do look sweet, don't they?" Kaji mused. "Kind of like mother and son." He soon received a vicious kick to the shin that sent him into his chair, gasping in pain.

"Excuse me," Misato said, standing up. "I need to hit the restroom." She cast a meaningful look to Ritsuko.

"Oh," she said, "I should go, too." She nudged Maya.

"Y-yeah. Me, too."

The three left and the men were alone in the bar.

"Women," Aoba said.

"Y-yeah," Hyuuga agreed, though to what he knew not.

"You've landed yourself a doozy of one, kid," Kaji said to Shinji. "Hope you know what you're in for."

"What do you mean?"

Kaji scratched at his jaw, chuckling.

"I, how shall I put it, had the pleasure of Katsuragi's company before you." His chuckling became more pronounced. "Me and about half of Tokyo."

Despite himself, Aoba snorted a laugh. Hyuuga smiled nervously, afraid of where this was going. Shinji did not smile.

"That's a foul thing to say," he said.

Kaji balked. Was the kid getting angry?

"Well it's the truth. Katsuragi's a fast operator. You'd be wise to protect your purity, kid."

_I'm hardly pure._

"You speak familiarly about her."

"Well, I should. I was her first." Kaji snorted. "And most recent. I think it was about the same time you came to the big city."

Alarms blared in Shinji's mind.

"Kind of like fate, or something." The scruffy man waved it away. "We had a good tumble, but then she threw me away. Just like that. After she got what she wanted, she just…" He made a strange sound with his mouth. "… threw me away."

By now, even Aoba had gone quiet.

"I'm a bit surprised she'd go out with someone like you," Shinji said.

"Hell! I'm surprised she went out with you!" Kaji laughed. "Some wet-behind-the-ears kid. Didn't see that one coming."

"We were all children at one point in our lives."

"And some of us still are."

Shinji decided he couldn't have put it any better. He tended to his drink.

_Did Misato-san really date him?_ And the impression they were giving. She wasn't… she wasn't a… slut. Even in his mind he whispered the word. No. Misato was a beautiful, vibrant, honest woman. And it wasn't a crime to enjoy sex. Shinji sighed. Even that sounded hollow to him.

Kaji broke his introspection.

"Kid, I'll level with you. Katsuragi is a great lay, but beyond that… eh." He shrugged. "It's a good thing you're so young. She's a slave driver in bed."

Shinji did not color.

"I hope you know a thing or two," the spy went on, "for your own sake. She is one unforgiving woman. Hell, ask these two, they work with her. And they've never even slept with her! At least, I don't think so."

"I think I would have remembered that," Aoba said.

"But do you think she would?"

Kaji laughed. Aoba, well into his third beer, joined him. He elbowed Hyuuga in the ribs to spur him on, albeit at a less enthusiastic pace. Shinji clenched his fists under the table.

"Keep laughing," Shinji said, "and you'll find out why your little JSSDF is so afraid of me."

They did not keep laughing.

* * *

In the ladies' restroom, Misato failed to capture Shinji's quiet anger. 

"What the hell is Kaji doing here? And those other two idiots, too!"

Ritsuko and Maya cringed. An anonymous woman quickly hurried out of their way.

"Uh, sorry. I wasn't thinking. I asked Maya-kun in front of Hyuuga-kun and Aoba-kun. They sort of invited themselves."

"And Kaji?"

"Umm… your guess is as good as mine," she lied.

Misato pulled on her hair.

"Unbelievable! I was going to _gradually_ introduce him to my work life, not have it thrown up in his lap!"

"He seems to be doing okay," Maya offered. A wrathful Misato turned on her and she eeped into silence.

"He isn't the kind to bitch and moan about this kind of stuff."

"Like you're doing now?" Ritsuko asked.

"Like I'm doing now, agent Akagi. Shut it."

Misato slouched in front of the mirror, trying to reapply lipstick and chew out her friends at the same time.

"And if I ever say the more the merrier again, you can shoot me. You have my permission."

Tired of yelling at Maya and Ritsuko, Misato made her way back to the table.

"Geez, guys," she said, seeing the somber mood. "Somebody die while I was gone?"

Shinji smiled at her return.

"Of course not. We just missed you three, that's all. Right, guys?"

Aoba and Hyuuga gave downcast nods. Kaji drew circles on the table with the condensation from his glass. He couldn't wait for this night to end.

* * *

Shinji stayed in the bar to pay the bill while Misato headed to the parking lot to start her car. It was an unusually cold night out, and she was looking forward to cranking the Renault's heater. 

_Or we could just keep each other warm._

Misato missed the keyhole on the first try, and wondered if Shinji should drive. She remembered that he didn't know how.

_"I guess Mana wanted to limit my mobility,"_ he had told her in a rare show of anger.

She finally managed the car door and turned the engine on. The Renault purred to life. Misato closed the door and stood outside, waiting for Shinji in the cold air while the car heated up.

_Maybe he'll be up to a make out session,_ she hoped. She hadn't pressed her luck too much with him yet, but damn it, she had needs and his playing hard to get wasn't meeting them. Being the aggressor wasn't foreign to Misato, but having an unwilling prey was. She understood his position, but his heart still remained alien to her. He was so quiet with his emotions. She doubted he'd know lust if it hit him in the face.

She chuckled softly. Hoping for some action at the end of a date had never been a problem before. If she wanted it, she would just take it. But this waiting…

_He better be a damn good lay._

She shook her head. Sex wasn't the end all and be all of a relationship. It was just the part she enjoyed the most. Not that there was anything wrong with that, she told herself. And it wasn't like he was a virgin. But he acted so damn nervous around her advances. She was sorely tempted to hack into the system again and read some of agent Kirishima's reports on the matter.

A small voice inside her told her not to. Aside from the obvious reasons why it was wrong, aside from her concept of relationships, aside from her libido, the voice told her he was worth it. He was worth the wait.

"I can wait," she said softly, gazing up into the deep night sky. "If it's for him, I think I can wait."

"You can 'wait for him'? What, do you actually think you love him?"

Misato groaned. Kaji was the last person she wanted to see right now.

"Hey. Answer me."

She turned around, leaning on the car. She regarded him coolly.

"Fuck off, Kaji. Or can't you get it up? After all the alcohol you pounded back in there I'm surprised you can walk straight."

"A penis joke. How mature of you. Has the kid seen this side of you?"

"For the last time, he isn't a kid. He's been through more than either of us. I'm sure you know the specifics, at least."

"The specifics," Kaji spat. "Yeah, I know the specifics."

"Good. Then you know he's been through hell. That forces kids to grow up fast. He's stronger than he looks."

"You're not around to see how often he cries. Or what a whiner he was with Kirishima."

Misato peered at him.

"So you do know. What, have you been spying on him, too?" She grinned. "Then you should know how happy I am with him." She left her car and tried to walk past him back to the bar.

He grabbed her arm and spun her to face him.

"He's nothing!" His breath was hot, forced in her face. "You hear me? He's a pathetic little boy with a sick father and no sense. You think you can make a man out of him?"

"You're hurting me, Kaji."

They didn't notice they were not alone. In the cold parking lot, the others gathered around them. Maya held a hand over her mouth. Ritsuko rubbed her temples. Aoba and Hyuuga looked decidedly uncomfortable. Shinji frowned.

"That's enough, Kaji-san," he said.

Kaji barked a harsh laugh.

"Two shows of backbone in one night? This isn't like you kid. What happened to the whiny little bitch I know and adore?"

"Kaji," Ritsuko said, sighing. "That really is enough." She willed him to shut up.

He let Misato go and frowned.

"Sure, don't want to say anything I'll regret later." He watched Misato step away from him, rubbing her arm. Shinji met her with a gentle touch.

"Should I call him a cab?"

"Cocky little brat," Kaji grumbled. He lurched forward and collected the front of Shinji's shirt in his fist. He lifted him to his tip-toes. "You honestly think you can compete with me? Go home to your little jerk-off fantasies about Mana."

Ritsuko groaned. Misato stared in disbelief. Shinji's eyes flashed in rage. He laid a soft hand on Kaji's wrist.

"Please let me go, Kaji-san."

Misato reached to her side, regretting she didn't bring her gun.

"Let him go, Kaji," she said. Her voice was low, dangerous. "Don't make me hurt you."

He whirled on her.

"What's so great about him!"

_"Kaji-san!"_ Shinji yelled, louder than they thought he could. The spy sobered a drink or two.

"Why don't you take Maya home, kid? She seems a bit more in your league."

"I don't want Maya-san," Shinji said. "I want the woman you're yelling at."

Kaji stared at him, his mouth parted slightly. After a breath he let him go, and Shinji tumbled to the ground. He clutched his back. Misato was at his side in an instant.

"Sure," Kaji said. "You can have her." He stalked off, disgusted, forgetting his car. The cold night enveloped him and he was lost from sight.

* * *

End of Chapter 8

Author's notes: the Forge is an actual bar where I live. I hear it's pretty cool.

The game list. I just pulled that out of my behind. Maria is Mana, in case you missed it. And I swear on my life I won't make such a big deal out of Shinji's age from now on. Even I'm sick of it. That and Misato saying "he's stronger than he looks." Sick of it.

Shinji having an in with all the ladies. I swear I didn't plan it. It just happened. I know its lame, I _know_ it is, but I put it in anyway. The thing with Maya? Just fluff. But Shinji knowing about Ritsuko's papers… I added that because until then we really didn't know about Shinji the intellectual. We have Misato's word earlier this chapter, but I wanted to add a little more. Still sucks, though.

Kaji the drunk. Now that I've further alienated all of the Kaji fans out there, let me explain. I apologize. I wanted a reason for Kaji to pick a fight with Shinji without him being responsible. Since there's almost no way Shinji would knowingly act like a dick, I needed Kaji to start the altercation (I held brief images of a parking lot brawl between the two). It's a poor excuse, and I apologize again, but I wanted it done. And for the record, I think it would take a lot to get Kaji that drunk.

Poor Kaji. That whole scene in the parking lot really escalated beyond my control. I apologize again.

Oh, points to Phoenix for pointing out that, yeah, chapter 7 is more of an interlude than anything else. Personally, I felt that 7 is the weakest one I've written so far, but thanks to everyone for still reading. It's sort of a necessary bridge between 6 and 8.

Hey, Konous the grey. I was wondering when someone would pick up on that. Actually, I was hoping no one would, at least not until I get closer to the end of this fic. Yes, those two lines, as well as a few others, really give off an odd impression. Sorry. I don't want to go into great depth regarding this, but I'm pretty sure the last two chapters (12 and 13) will make it clearer, at least to a satisfactory degree. That… and I lied in some of my author notes for previous installments (hint hint). I'm sorry I can't comment on it further. All I can say is try to be patient. I have the rest of the story sketched out, and all I'm doing now is proof reading and tinkering with the dialogue. The last section of chapter 13 has a kind of "ah, I see" moment. At least, I hope it does. The only reason I haven't posted it all is because I'm a slut for reviews. Thanks for the feedback, Konous, and I hope you keep reading. Oh, and you were my fiftieth reviewer. I give you a cookie. And _My Lovely_ scared the meat out of me, too. For those of you who don't know it, it's akin to pure terror manifested and stepping on your crotch. Hard.

Okay, boys and girls. I'm poised to release the first chappy of my Asuka fic… but I'm really hesitating. For one thing, I'll have to post it on mediaminer.Yeah. It… it has a few "blue" moments. Alright, alright. It has sex in it, okay? But it isn't, how can I put this gently, meant for you to bust a nut over. No. It's contextual, and advances the story. Plus it's all pretty dark. That and I use the F word like it's going out of style. Seriously. More than anything, I feel the plot is overused, and that things don't really get interesting (at least for me) until chapter 3. On top of all that, chapter 1 is set up like a one-shot, and is just shy of ten thousand words. Sigh. I guess I will post it in a couple weeks. This is just me being a fucking pansy. I do not expect nice reviews for it like I get for _TLW_.

Last note, I swear. I just discovered I've been spelling Fuyutsuki wrong. Mother fucker. See? See that U after the S? I sure didn't when I was writing this. Sorry.

Big thanks to (surprise!) the Evangelion soundtracks, of which I own many. Including S2 Works. Which I highly recommend. Despite the disturbing insert cover. You know what I'm talking about. Yuck. That doesn't help me write good.


	9. Chapter 9

True Love Waits Chapter 9

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or Radiohead… and I can't believe no one has commented on how utterly pretentious my pen name is. It is, you know.

Well, anonymous reviewer "cockmongler", here is the next **CHAPPY**. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

"Misato."

"Huh?"

"For the third time, pass the soy sauce," Rei said.

"Oh, sorry." She gave it to Shinji, who gave it to Rei. "I wasn't paying attention."

"That is obvious," Rei grumbled.

The three were seated around Misato's kitchen table eating supper. Though in her house, Misato refrained from cooking: they were currently enjoying one of Shinji's dishes, a collection of steamed vegetables with a series of sauces. It was, like most of his works, good. In Rei's quest to discover a redeeming factor to him, meal preparation was emerging as the only finding. She reasoned she could keep him for food, while Misato kept him for whatever it was adults did.

She could not see, but could clearly hear the game of footsy going on under the table. Every so often it would stop in some unseen position, and Shinji would blush, and Misato would grin.

_They are acting like teenagers,_ Rei thought.

With the unpleasantness now referred to only as "the Forge incident" behind them, life returned to some semblance of normal. Rei held only the slightest inkling that the dinner had gone badly, and wisely abstained from questioning them about it.

Instead she ignored it completely, as was her wont in Misato's affairs, and concentrated on more important things. Like school. She sighed, and admitted to herself there wasn't anything of greater importance right now. School was an exercise in futility, and her friends were in the midst of discovering puberty. And Rei? Well, there was always her viola.

Misato laughed as she acquired some invisible reaction from Shinji. He blushed and smiled back, and soon she was crimson, too.

They have been together, she realized. And she was surprised. The usual sentiment of disgust was missing from her discovery. In its place was an empty feeling of apathy. She held no emotions or opinions on the subject of Shinji and Misato sleeping together.

_As long as it does not wake me up,_ she thought, _I do not care. _

But as she returned to her dinner, she found she could not eat. Her carefully disciplined mind kept capturing her guardian and her lover in some intimate pose. Rei pushed her food from her and stood. She ignored Shinji's question to her well being. She ignored Misato's glib response. She ignored it all until she was in her room, where she did not turn on the light, and did not care to change before flopping on the bed, intent to dream of anything but what she dreamt of.

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 9

* * *

Rei woke up before her alarm, before Misato.

_And Ikari-san._

They'd been quiet last night. They had not woken her up with their coupling. This was bold for Misato. Usually she'd spend the night at her man's home, or rent a motel room. Letting men stay in the apartment was a kind of taboo that had developed between Rei and Misato. It was unspoken, for obvious reasons, but both knew it. Besides, almost every man she brought home formed a negative opinion of Rei, and vice versa. Rei never bothered to wonder why; she only knew it was how it had always been, and as far as she could tell, always would be.

Rei reached the bathroom and knocked. A naked Misato or Ikari Shinji, or both, was the last thing she ever wanted to see. Especially not first thing in the morning. Receiving no response, she entered and drew a bath. She allowed herself to luxuriate in it for a time, content that it was Sunday, and that no school was held. She would not have to deal with Asuka and Hikari, teachers, or people in general.

Only Misato and Ikari.

She sighed as the bath was ruined. She drained the tub and dressed in her school uniform, not creative or rebellious enough for anything else. It was functional and allowed others to see her status in society. Nothing more was needed. She wore it despite the closet full of dresses Misato bought for her, though not out of spite.

Well, perhaps a little spite.

She walked into the kitchen and found Misato in her pajamas, eating a piece of toast and looking over the paper.

"Morning," she said.

"Morning," Rei said.

Misato swallowed and glanced up. She titled her head.

"What's that look for?"

"Is Ikari-san up, or is he unable to walk?"

"Huh? Shinji?" Misato laughed. "You thought he stayed over last night? No, no. He went home after you oh so politely left the table." She chuckled.

"Oh."

"He did say goodnight to you, though. I guess you were already out."

The idea of Ikari Shinji speaking to her while she was sleeping made her feel strange. Rei hid her discomfort and prepared her breakfast.

"You really thought he was going to stay over?" Misato smiled. "You know I wouldn't allow it." _Even if it was Shinji._

"Do not hold back on my account. Do what you please."

Misato frowned.

"I know you don't… approve of Shinji-kun…" _Or me. Or my life. Or anything in general._ "But I want you to be, I don't know, comfortable with it, okay? I don't want to make you feel weird."

"That is admirable."

"I mean it, Rei. You know that… you know you come first, right?"

Rei looked at her, her hands poised in mid-creation of her meal. She stared at her for a long time without speaking, or moving, or giving any indication that she understood. Finally Misato stood up.

"I got to get to work," she said.

Rei abandoned her meal and watched her get ready. She waited while she was in the bath, and waited while she dressed. When she emerged from her room, she kept her eyes on her. Misato put her shoes on quickly, not wanting to meet Rei's gaze. She left without another word.

* * *

The apartment was stifling.

That was the conclusion Rei reached after trying to do absolutely everything she could within its walls, and still she found no solace. She was, surprisingly, in want of some sort of human contact. She recalled Hikari saying something yesterday in school about shopping on Sunday. Rei had ignored her as usual. Now she was glad she hadn't zoned out completely.

Rei took a handful of yen from Misato's dresser and left the apartment. She did not think to leave a note.

The day was clear and bright, no clouds to obscure the blue of the sky, or the shine from the sun. It was busy downtown, which she regretted, but no one seemed to mind the presence of a blue-haired albino, and she passed through unbothered. Rei knew she was different from the mass of people she weaved through, but she had accepted this fact. It had long ago ceased to bother her. She no longer vainly struggled for others' acceptance or understanding. She did not need it.

It took her almost an hour of searching her friends' usual hangouts before she finally located them in a small boutique. A bell above the door rang as she entered, alerting Asuka and Hikari to her presence. She saw the redhead's face constrict for a moment, as if she was deciding whether to frown or smile.

"Rei!" Hikari literally dropped the dress she was holding on the floor and rushed over. "I'm so glad you decided to come out today. I didn't think you heard me yesterday."

"I heard."

"Great! Well, come on in. We're trying on dresses for the Culture Fest."

Asuka nodded a greeting. Rei blinked in response.

"I still can't believe our class voted on doing the dumb idea of a café. It's so overused."

"I thought you liked to dress up, Asuka."

"Yeah, but not for school. It's a waste."

Rei was glad they weren't talking about Ikari for once.

"What job did you get stuck with, Second?"

"I am cashier," Rei said.

"Pfft. Lucky you. At least you don't have to parade around like a piece of meat. I can't believe I have to be a waitress. It's so demeaning."

"Hey," Hikari said, "my sister is a waitress."

"Is she proud of it?"

"Well… no, but—"

"I rest my case."

Rei was focused on a white sundress. She could easily buy it with the wad she'd stolen from Misato, but something stayed her hand. An innate, instinctual voice that made her stop and question why she wanted it. Did she need it? No. Would she wear it? Probably not. Did she deserve it?

The voice made itself known.

_This isn't for you._

"Thinking of buying it, Ayanami? It's pretty."

She turned from the dress.

"No."

"Well I give up," Asuka said. "None of the dresses here are right. If I want to wear baby dresses I can play dress up at home. The stuff here for adults is too big for me."

"Maybe it's a message," Hikari mumbled.

"I'm hungry," the redhead announced. "Let's eat."

The girls exited the shop, but Rei was not paying attention. She followed with a highly tuned sense of peripheral vision: her eyes remained on the white sundress. She sighed as they rounded a street corner and it was lost from sight.

* * *

The girls found a quaint sidewalk bistro to lunch at. They sat on cast-iron chairs around a small round table, selecting their meals from laminated cards.

"What a dump," Asuka said. "Who eats outside?"

"I think it's cute. It's a nice day out, so why wouldn't you eat outside?"

"Oh, I don't know. Bugs, pollution, noise, goobers staring at you while you eat…"

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Forget it. I'm tired of walking and this was the closest place. It'll have to do." Asuka took a menu. "Gah! Look at these prices! They certainly can't be charging for atmosphere."

Rei idly looked the menu over, not bothering to really read it.

"And such small portions! This is hardly five star cuisine. Where do they get off charging the way they—"

Asuka stopped in mid-sentence. Her mouth hung open, and she looked as if lightning had struck her.

"Asuka, what's wrong?"

"It must be fate," she murmured, standing up. "Ikari-san!" she called out.

Shinji jumped in surprise. He was across the street looking in a window full of dresses. Rei quickly disavowed the idea of him cross-dressing.

He waved to them, an unsure smile on his face. Asuka signaled with her hands that he should join them. Hikari silently thanked Asuka for doing what she could not.

Shinji crossed the street, slightly embarrassed that he was about to converse with grade school girls. He hoped no one would get the wrong idea. He reminded himself that although Rei was still in school, she was far more mature than most grown women he met. He also reminded himself that her friends were not.

"Hello," he said, not taking a seat.

"Good afternoon, Ikari-san," Asuka gushed. She patted the chair next to her. "Please, join us. We were just about to order."

"Oh, um, I already ate. Thank you."

Asuka pouted, working her lower lip.

"You don't like us anymore, Ikari-san? What did we do?"

Shinji relented, unable to say no to a teary female. His worries about appearance did not desist, though. He needn't have fretted: he could easily pass as a teenager. He sat.

"Ah, what are all of you doing today?" he directed to Rei.

"Shopping," Asuka said. "How about you?"

"The same."

Asuka looked to the store he had been in front of.

"Dress shopping, Ikari-san?" She gave him a once over. "You might have the build for a gown, but I don't know…"

Hikari blushed hard. The idea of Shinji in a dress made her feel peculiar.

"Oh, um, no. Not for me." He glanced to Rei. "Actually, Ayanami-san, I was wondering if I could ask you a question, but it's kind of personal."

Asuka frowned.

"Ask away," Rei said.

"Do you know Misato-san's size? For dresses, I mean."

_Double XL extra slutty._

"No."

"Oh, well, thanks anyway."

A waiter appeared to take orders. Shinji shrank in his seat. Asuka bit her tongue, nearly ordering hot chocolate. She asked for coffee instead, hoping to seem mature. Hikari had to be rapped lightly to speak. Rei handed the menu back without talking.

"And you, young man?"

"Oh, uh, nothing for me, thank you."

The waiter left and Asuka grinned.

"I would have treated you, Ikari-san." _See? I'm mature. Way more than Misato._

"That's quite generous of you, Soryu-san," he said.

"Please, call me Asuka."

Shinji gritted his teeth as he smiled.

"Okay, Asuka-san." She waited for him to return the favor. She was still waiting when Rei spoke.

"Why were you buying her a dress?"

"Hmm? Oh, well, she's been such a help to me that I wanted to repay her. I know a dress is hardly anything, but I thought she might like it." _Girls like dresses, right?_

"Something black."

"What?"

"Buy her something black. She said she needed something in black."

"Oh," Shinji said, blinking. "Thank you."

"We were looking for dresses too," Asuka said. "Ikari-san? What color do you think would look good on me?" She struck a modelesque pose.

"Blue," he responded without thinking.

"Really? How come?"

"Oh, ah, well, your eyes are blue, so something with that color would bring them out. But I don't really know about fashion, or anything."

Shinji decided her blush was the signal to leave. He made a small performance of checking his watch.

"Oh, geez. Look at the time. I really have to get going." He stood before the girls could object.

"Oh, you're mean, Ikari-san. Can't you stay a little longer?"

"I wish I could, but I have a previous engagement."

Hearing him say the wordengagement made Hikari flutter.

He turned as Asuka's mouth moved again, but stopped and looked at Rei.

"Oh, I'll be over on Tuesday." He waited until she glanced up. "Misato-san invited me over, um, for my birthday."

Aware of the coming date, Rei gave no indication that she cared.

"Your birthday? Why, happy early birthday, Ikari-san!" Asuka smiled.

"Oh, thank you."

"How old are you going to be?"

"Twenty-two," Shinji said, feeling old.

"You don't look a day over eighteen. Nineteen, tops."

Asuka waited patiently for him to remark on how old she looked. She mentally observed that her patience was getting a workout ever since she met him. Shinji missed her silent pleas.

"I'll see you then, Ayanami-san." He glanced at the two other girls. "Good day."

Asuka sighed happily as he left. She watched the way his clothes hung off his lean body and did bad things to him in her mind.

"I envy you, wondergirl," she said. "You get to see him like, everyday."

"And?"

"Oh no. We are not having this conversation again. Ikari-san is hot, end of story." She formed a plan. "Say, could we—"

"No."

"Oh, come on! You didn't even let me finish!"

"No, you cannot come over Tuesday night." Rei sighed. "And no, not even if you bring a present."

"It isn't like you could stop us."

"Misato could."

Asuka cringed. Hikari snapped back to reality. An angry Misato was not to be trifled with.

"Fine," Asuka conceded. "But you have to make it up to us." She thought for a moment. "You can start by picking up the tab."

Rei brought forth her fistful of money and dropped it on the table.

"Geez, Second! Where'd you get all that?"

"Misato."

"Is she secretly loaded or something?"

"No." Rei counted the bills. Perhaps she had taken from her private stash and not the community fund. Oh well.

Rei paid the bill and gave the waiter a healthy tip.

* * *

"Happy birthday, Shinji-kun!"

"Thank you."

Misato's apartment was alive Tuesday night, the sixth of June. She had taken the initiative to invite Ritsuko and Maya to his birthday party, while purposely choosing to disregard the males at work. She could start another drunken fiasco without any help from a man, thank you very much.

Shinji had cooked again, despite it being his birthday, and Misato's feeble protests. Honestly, she was hard pressed to come up with a reason for him not to. This was probably the healthiest she'd ever eaten in her life. The five pounds she'd lost over the last month were most likely thanks to him as well.

_Gee, how ever will I thank him?_

She watched as he doled out his meal to the guests and Rei, who, like most dinners with Shinji, served as little more than a decoration. She looked up briefly as he passed, then dug in.

"How did he get wrangled into preparing his own birthday dinner?" Ritsuko asked. "Shouldn't you be doing that, Misato?"

"Like I'm going to force instant ramen on him today. Geez, Ritsu."

"That wasn't really what I meant…"

"I don't mind, Akagi-san, really." Shinji smiled. "I'd feel a little guilty if everyone waited on me."

Her meaning having gone over their heads, Ritsuko tried one more time.

"But… it's your birthday…"

Shinji shrugged.

"I guess I'm just not used to it."

They ate with light conversation, Misato directing the flow. Ritsuko and Maya followed along, turning a question on Shinji every so often, both curious about him for different reasons. He answered as best he could. Rei abstained from speaking, content to spend time with her food.

Dinner drew to a close and Shinji took orders for coffee and tea. As he came back with the boiling water, Misato almost tackled him.

"Time for presents!" she announced.

Maya handed him a slim package. He opened it slowly, carefully lifting the tape to avoid ripping the paper.

"Oh!" He uncovered Ichiban Industries' newest dating sim, Pioneering Heart. "Thank you, Ibuki-san." Shinji watched as she smiled happily. He swallowed the fact that he could have gotten it for free if he so chose.

"Gee, Ibuki-kun," Misato said, hanging on Shinji, "I don't know how I feel about my boyfriend playing these types of games anymore."

Maya gave an impressive flop-sweat.

"Oh, s-sorry, Katsuragi-san!"

"I really haven't had much time to play anyway," Shinji said with a playful glance to Misato.

"Short leash, Ikari-kun?"

Misato had a sudden, unpleasant image of Kaji. She kept her frown inside, determined to give Shinji a happy day. Her boyfriend scratched at his neck.

"No, not really. Misato-san is surprisingly non-possessive." He reflected on Mana and her control. He missed it sometimes.

"I trust him," Misato said. "Although sometimes I think I should keep better tabs on him. He could be a real lady-killer if I don't watch out."

"I don't think so…" Shinji said, blushing.

"And that would be too familiar for you, eh?" Ritsuko asked her friend.

"Watch it," Misato coughed.

Shinji flustered, desperate to ask for another present to avoid conflict, but not wanting to seem greedy, either. He sat and sweated.

"Well, here you go, Ikari-kun."

Ritsuko gave Shinji a movie, and the hint that he should watch it with Misato.

"Thank you, Akagi-san."

The night froze a degree or two, and everyone waited as Rei finished her meal.

"Rei," Misato said, straining, "do you have anything for Shinji?"

The albino blinked, and looked up from her food. She passed him a small box without wrapping, or words.

"Thank you, Ayanami-san."

"You have not opened it yet," she stated.

"Oh, right."

He found several old SDAT tapes, seemingly picked at random from the classical section.

"Wow! Thank you, Ayanami-san. How did you know I had an SDAT?"

"I simply deduced what device you were most likely to have based upon your age."

"Wow," he said again. "That's impressive."

"Not really." She glanced at him. "The food is good, again." She cleared her place and left for her room without further conversation.

"But Rei, what about cake?"

The sound of her door closing was all the answer Misato received.

"Well," Ritsuko said, "that was festive."

Misato didn't know what it was about those two. Rei and Ritsuko had never gotten along. Like their animosity towards each other was ingrained. She sighed, putting it out of her mind. She adapted to her worries by overcompensating.

"Open mine! Open mine!"

Shinji tried to lift the heavy box and failed.

"Guess I'll open it here," he said, blushing a little. "Wow," he gasped as he finally disrobed the gift. "A television?"

"You didn't have one, so now you do."

"Misato-san, I don't know if I can accept this…"

"Why not? Did you want something bigger? That's all I could afford…"

"No! No, that's not it. This… this is a lot. You really shouldn't have."

Misato grinned.

"Well, if you feel so bad about it, you can pay me the difference. I'm sure we can come to an amicable agreement."

Her tone and demeanor made Shinji blush.

"Thank you," he squeaked. He paused a breath, then leaned over and pecked her on the lips.

"That's a good start," Misato said.

Maya bit her tongue from declaring how cute they still were. Ritsuko just smiled.

"Hey, uh, go home, would you? I want my boyfriend alone for awhile."

"Misato-san…"

She giggled.

"You're so fun to tease." She kissed his cheek, and slid up to his ear. "I'm not kidding," she whispered. "I really want to—"

"Okay!" Shinji said, standing up. "Who wants more tea or coffee? Anyone?" He escaped to the kitchen with his orders.

Misato watched him go, her eyes hanging on his backside. Ritsuko saw and sighed.

"Should we leave? I don't want you to overload or anything."

"Nah, stick around. Not much we could do with Rei here, anyways." She sighed.

Shinji returned with cake and more hot water. He passed them out. Everyone ate, momentarily suspending diets and good intentions. Misato rose to help him clear the dishes from dinner, and made a subtle play on his backside. He almost dropped the plates in his hands.

_What is her fascination with my behind?_ He told himself it wasn't anything special. He glanced at Misato's departing form. _Not like hers._ He bit his cheek, chastising himself for thinking dirty thoughts. He blushed as he thought of that one heated night in his apartment when things had gotten out of hand.

_It's not like I hated it,_ he thought. _I just felt like she, I don't know, deserved something. She's waited an awful long time, I suppose._ For him, things felt like they were moving too fast. _But I made a decision. I made it, and I have to abide by it._ He smiled. _I do care for her. I shouldn't make it sound like a prison sentence._

"I think I could…" he said to himself.

* * *

Shinji stared at his new SDAT tapes, as if hidden messages would appear. Misato wondered aloud what he was doing between mouthfuls of cake. He glanced up, frowning.

"Are you sure she isn't angry with me? She seemed annoyed at something."

"Oh, Rei always acts like that. Don't take it personal."

"I see."

"She just needs a boyfriend," Misato said. "But at her rate she'll be old and grey before she notices any boy."

"Maybe she's just shy," Maya offered, speaking from experience.

"Nah. It's like she just doesn't care. It's weird."

"Maybe she just needs to find the right guy," the doctor said. Ritsuko wasn't blind. She noticed all the quick glances Rei had given Shinji tonight. She'd worn a puzzled expression, as if trying to decipher some great mystery.

"Have someone in mind, Ritsu? Didn't know you hung out with grade schoolers."

Ritsuko coughed.

"Just stating an opinion."

Misato chuckled.

"I think she should do something with her hair, you know? It's a cool color but she never combs it. Guys care about hair, right? I don't know."

Maya clapped her hands together.

"We could go to a salon! And buy her a dress or something."

"Good luck with that. I'm afraid you'll be disappointed."

"Her complexion is awfully pale," Ritsuko remarked. "And that school uniform isn't doing anything for her, either."

"I know!" Misato said. "I'm glad work is lenient about that kind of thing."

"Clean her up a bit and she's sure to catch _someone's_ eye."

"Actually, I think she's quite pretty."

Everyone stared at Shinji. His color rose under their steady gaze.

"Really?" Ritsuko said, sounding very much like she was dissecting a math problem.

"You really think so?" Misato waited for an answer.

"Well… yeah. I do. She's very unique."

Misato kept her stern face on a moment longer, then it buckled and she laughed.

"Oh! You're so sweet!" She hugged him.

"What? You don't think so?"

"Well of course I do. I'm like her parent."

Maya and Ritsuko discreetly looked elsewhere.

"Well, um, I'm surprised she doesn't already have a boyfriend. I mean, she's smart, pretty, and very mature. I'd think she could have her pick."

"H-hey," Misato said. "Take it easy, there."

"Ikari-kun," Ritsuko said, leveling her gaze at him, "I don't really know what you were like in school, but boys her age don't usually go for the mature and unique. Hell, most men don't either." She stopped herself from saying something derogatory about Misato. _You're proof of that._

"Then perhaps you're right, Akagi-san. She just hasn't met the right one."

"I suppose. I hope she does one day. Girl could use a little happiness."

Shinji fell quiet, though he wanted to ask more. The conversation died.

The four adults were blessed with a small bout of stupidity, as they seemed to forget how thin Japanese walls were. Rei lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, believing she had dreamt their words. Sleep did not claim her for some time.

* * *

Ritsuko and Maya left, citing the time, and tomorrow's work load. They wished Shinji a happy birthday again, and he thanked them for their gifts. He sighed as the door slid shut after them, glad the night was almost over. Misato had other ideas.

"Do you feel any older, birthday boy?" she asked, hugging him from behind. He smiled.

"Thank you," Shinji said. "This has honestly been the best birthday I've ever had."

_It really doesn't take much to make him happy, does it?_

He took her hands and raised them to his lips, delicately kissing each finger. The act never failed to turn Misato on. She rubbed against his back, placing her lips on the ridges of his spine below his hair. This went on until she couldn't stand it anymore and turned him around. She kissed him greedily, her hands raking through his hair. His finger tips touched upon her shoulders. Air soon became a necessity.

"It's getting late," he said.

"It sure is," she said.

As she moved in for round two, he told her he had something for her.

"What?"

"Close your eyes. It's a surprise."

"Close my eyes?"

Shinji smiled a yes, then placed her hands over her face. She heard him rustling around near her, but maintained her blindness.

_Oh, damn, this is hot._

"Okay, you can look."

Misato forgot she had a child in the next room, and that Shinji wasn't aggressive. Her imagination sparked to life as she opened her eyes.

"Huh?"

He held out a wrapped box for her, complete with ribbon and bow.

"What's this?"

"It's for you."

"Wh-why?"

He blushed.

"I didn't want to be the only one getting gifts today." Seeing she was about to object, he pushed the box into her hands. "Just think of it as a thank you, for all you've done. Please, open it."

She sighed through her teeth.

"Shinji, it's _your_ birthday, and I—"

He kissed her.

_That's one way to shut me up._

He helped her unwrap the box, giving her quick, light kisses. Soon the present was uncovered.

"Shinji… it's beautiful." She held up a long black dress with delicate lace at the throat and ends. _This must have cost a fortune._

"Would you try it on for me?"

_Hell yes! _

She began stripping in front of him. He turned red and looked behind him. Misato smiled at his courtesy. She frowned as she worked the dress up her legs.

"It's… a little tight."

Shinji slumped.

"Oh, no. I didn't know your size, so I had to guess." He turned back around. "How small is it?"

Misato grinned at him, trying to laugh, as she spilled out of the small dress.

"It isn't that bad. Really."

"Good lord! You can't wear that!"

Misato let out her breath which threatened to tear the fabric.

"Oh thank God." She slid out of it. "Whew. You really thought I was that skinny? I thought you'd know by now."

"Sorry. I told you I had to guess."

Misato considered leaving her clothes off, but relented to his persistent blushing.

They went back to the living room, and sat at the table. Night was fast approaching. Below them the street lights flickered into existence. The apartment was still, and calm, and good. The two reclined in their seats, a pleasant, silent exchange spreading between them making both feel warm. They finished the last of the cake, or were going to, had Shinji not stopped himself. He packed his piece up and put it in the refrigerator with Rei's name on it.

As he closed the door, he was struck with how comfortable he was with them. Like he was meant to be here his entire life. For the first time in his life, he felt like he really belonged somewhere. He almost cried.

"Shinji-kun?"

He turned and gazed at her for the longest of times. He smiled.

"I love you, Katsuragi Misato."

She stared at him, mouth open a sliver, tears forming in her eyes. She stood on shaking legs.

"Shinji…"

She kissed him, almost angrily, forcing her tongue inside him. His surprised moan only spurred her on. Needless to say, this wasn't the reaction he was expecting. Or hoping for. He tried to extract himself from her embrace and was pushed back in place.

"Misato-san," he gasped as she came up for breath.

"I love you, Shinji," she cried. "I love you."

* * *

End of Chapter 9

Author's notes: Almost to chapter 10, which will up the cheese factor significantly. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed up to this point, and thanks for being patient with Rei. Next chapter will hopefully clear up a few things regarding her attitude.

On the subject of stuttering. Medically, I once heard it can be caused by sexual repression. Although how that would relate to Shinji is beyond me. Yes, he stutters a lot, and yes, he barely does it in the series, and yes, it was a very conscious decision on my part. But as this went on, I just felt that losing both his parents, being betrayed by the woman he was going to marry, and nearly getting killed would sort of fuck him up. It was either a speech impediment or a psychotic break. Plus, I think it's kind of cute.

Okay. Even I'm getting tired of Shinji calling those damn teens "san". Sorry about the whole girls meeting up with Shinji bit. I needed a space filler.

Shinji saying "I love you". Seems he did most of the gift giving on his own birthday. Hmm. I'll admit that's a little unbelievable, but cut me some slack. I wanted to end on a happy note. It'll also make the beginning of chapter 10 less jarring. But just for clarification: no, they haven't slept together yet. Not that they haven't messed around. As for that "one night that got out of hand", I like to call it chapter 8.5. Though I doubt it'll ever see the light of the internet.

Reviewer rongten. Yeah, this is actually a point I've wanted to talk about for awhile. I agree that though Misato sometimes presents a flirty, happy-go-lucky attitude towards dating in the series, there isn't actually a lot of proof to back the claim up. There were more important things to deal with. In _TLW_, there aren't more important things to deal with. Not that I think she's "easy" or anything, but just like in episode 25… or 26, I forget… Hyuuga says something to the effect of 'you don't care who you sleep with, as long as you're not alone'. I put some stock in that. Not a lot, but she does admit how much she hates to be alone. I believe that Misato is, fundamentally, a person who hates being by herself. This isn't a slap to her character. I think she's one of the more, if not most, admirable people in the series. But you're right: this is an AU. I just imagined her as someone who enjoys the company of men. I wanted to make her experienced, worldly, in contrast to Shinji's naiveté and (technical) virginity. Thanks for the review.

Chapter 1 of _Witness_, my Asuka fic, should be up on mediaminer. And believe me, it's there for a reason. Yeah, due to the rating system over there I had to make it "X" and label it as hentai, but don't get too excited. If you're expecting a waffy, romantic, _TLW_-style lemon, you're going to be disappointed. If you do decide to check it out, it is at your own risk. It isn't for kiddies, and it's over ten thousand words long. Sorry. A lot happens in chapter 1. Also, if you're looking for an original plot, go elsewhere. It's something I'm sure you're all well acquainted with by now. Chapter 3 might grab your interest. It's only seven chapters long, so don't worry about me dragging it out, either. It's kind of a double threat for me, being my first attempt at writing Asuka seriously and taking a stab at darkfiction. Later chapters even showcase my horrific action writing. Reviews and criticisms are always welcomed, even if you just want to tell me how messed up I am. Which I am. And if you're mean to me, I'll post chapter 8.5 of _True Love Waits_ to punish you.

This chapter is officially dedicated to my sister and new brother, who are to be wed over Labor Day weekend. Congratulations, Kat and Mike D.!

Big thanks to the _Vision of Escaflowne_ soundtracks. Yoko Kanno is a musical goddess. I worship at her altar daily. She helps me write good.


	10. Chapter 10

True Love Waits Chapter 10

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: Actually, due to an obscure bylaw, I _can't_ own Eva or Radiohead.

* * *

"Ikari Shinji."

"Huh?"

He was in a dark room. A singular lamp lit the chamber, casting everything in an ethereal orange. A dirty grating served as the floor. The ceiling was bathed in shadow. He could vaguely make out others in the room with him, and medical equipment he did not recognize. Though he could not see them, he felt the presence of two large men behind him. They pushed him forward.

"Shinji."

Somewhere in the darkness a man spoke his name again, a voice with power and terrible authority. He stumbled forward until the two men stopped him, pulling him to his feet. Hands stayed on his shoulders.

A tall bearded man stood before him, wearing tinted glasses and a frown. He had a hand in his pocket, and looked very much like this was a waste of his time.

"Shinji," the man spoke.

He could not respond. His mouth refused to work.

"Shinji, do you want to see your mother again?"

He could not even nod.

"Shinji, will you help me see your mother again?"

Hands grabbed his arms and led him to a table. He was pushed down on his face and stripped. He tried to resist and felt a sharp blow land on the back of his head. Icy pain exploded behind his eyes and he collapsed, helpless. His body began cooling, and all control was lost to him. Spots danced at the edges of his vision.

A chill alcohol swab brushed his back He could barely make out a person hovering over him, holding a long syringe over his spine. It lowered with maddening delay.

"Shinji, take me to Yui."

Penetration. Burrowing into his skin. He felt the needle scrape against the bone, trying to gain access. It broke through, chipping the spinal column, into the soft tissue within. Suction began and he felt it tugging on his brain stem. The pain was beyond his language abilities.

He screamed.

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 10

* * *

"Misato-san!"

She was not in bed.

"Misato-san!"

She was not in the kitchen.

"Misato-san!"

She was not in the apartment.

_"Misato-san!"_

Shinji collapsed to the floor, weeping, his back aflame in agony. He tried to climb up using a chair, but it toppled over and took him to the ground again. He landed on his back, and his vision swam.

"Someone…"

He wept in gasping breaths, staying on the floor. His finger nails dug into the hard wood, threatening to peel off. He swallowed, trying to tell himself he didn't taste blood.

"Please…"

The nightmare's adrenaline abandoned him, leaving Shinji cold and spent. He caught his breath.

"Father…" Shinji cringed. "Mother…"

He was left in stillness.

And then it was broken, a door sliding open. Rei emerged from her room clad in an oversized t-shirt.

"Ikari-san?" She was barely awake, rubbing her eyes. "Why were you yelling?"

"Ayanami?" He stood up, and blushed from his shame. "What… what are you doing here?"

"It is Sunday. No school is held today." She looked at him, awaiting an answer for her previous inquiry. His eyes scuttled to the floor.

"I… I had a nightmare."

She didn't laugh like he expected, or give him any grief. Rei took the information in without any visible reaction, save a slight furrowing of her brow.

"Of something past?" she asked.

"… yes."

"Misato is at work," Rei said after a moment. "I have her number if you wish to contact her."

Shinji shook his head, still unable to meet her gaze.

"No, that's okay. I'm… I'm better now."

Neither of them believed that.

"I'm sorry I woke you up, Ayanami-san."

Rei shrugged it off.

"There is no need to be. I would have woken up eventually." _Besides, you two were loud enough to wake the dead last night._ "I do not require much sleep."

"Oh." He looked at her, feeling awkward and humiliated. "Do you… do you want some breakfast?" Shinji picked up the toppled chair.

Rei agreed as eagerly as her disposition allowed.

"Great," he said, attempting a smile. "Take a seat. What do you feel like?"

A choice. Rei nearly drooled thinking of the possibilities.

"Is there any of your pancake mix left?"

Shinji checked.

"There's just enough. Do you want blueberries in them? I think there's some left over from last night's dessert."

"Yes."

He waited until he realized she had answered both questions.

"Okay. It shouldn't take long."

Shinji was glad for a distraction, and focused solely on the preparation of the meal. He didn't think about Rei catching him crying, or his father kidnapping him and dying, or his long deceased mother. He thought only of pancakes. Blueberry pancakes, he reminded himself. He fetched them from the refrigerator, trying not to recall Misato's creative uses for them. It wouldn't do to go into a blushing fit right now.

He glanced atRei and grinned. She already had her utensils in her hands. If this was how they bonded, then so be it. He had previously held a few fantasies of them getting closer through music, or literature, or anything that exercised his mind. All had failed, not due to any lacking energy on his part, but by Rei's subtle disassociation with everything he brought up. Even Misato's intervention never worked; if anything, it usually made things worse. His own continual attempts at friendship did not stem from any misguided feelings of pity or compassion, but rather, from a sense that she was an interesting young lady with interesting thoughts. He did not begrudge her silence or stoicism, but understood them, all too well.

_She just needs a friend,_ he thought. _I think I know how she feels._

As his stays over at Misato's became more and more frequent, and less of a bother to Rei, he discovered she was as he originally thought: a very mature, disciplined girl who did not suffer fools, or foolish behavior. He wondered why she associated with the two other girls as she did, until Misato told him they were the only ones who would. Shinji knew that feeling as well. He felt it his duty to show her life did not begin and end in grade school, and that things could get better. He was living proof. Admittedly, his own story had unique circumstances, but he didn't see it as a hindrance, but rather as a strength.

Misato had told him a little about Rei's past, how her parents had died in a lab explosion, and how she had adopted her. Shinji was amazed that Misato decided to take on such a huge responsibility at such a young age, but she'd explained her own father had been close to the Ayanami family, actually being named godfather to Rei. With no other living relatives, the young albino's life fell in Dr. Katsuragi's hands. Too busy with his own work to raise a child, Misato had offered her services, until she formally adopted her upon her graduation from military academy.

_She's had such a hard life,_ Shinji thought. _I hope I can be her friend._

Rei snuck a peek at his form as he mixed the batter over the stove. He worked with practiced dexterity, simultaneously flipping one cake and sprinkling berries over another. The scent filled her nostrils and caressed her taste buds. Only now had she forgiven him for waking her up. Shinji was an accomplished chef in her eyes, and could run screaming through the apartment on an hourly basis if it meant he'd cook all her meals for her. Suffering through his and Misato's nightly routine was a small price to pay.

Shinji at least attempted a modicum of modesty; he made sure music was playing during their coupling to reduce its auditory unpleasantness for Rei. She appreciated the gesture, but without twenty more speakers it was a useless practice. Perhaps Misato should bite the bullet and invest in soundproofing her room.

Rei scoffed. She couldn't fathom any physical sensation feeling good enough to merit a scream. Then again, Misato was loud by nature. But Shinji wasn't. Oh well. It didn't really matter. Why adults were so obsessed with sex was both beyond and beneath her. Though hearing them together always left a hollow, cold pit in her stomach. As did thinking about it. She loosened her grip on her utensils.

Shinji served her, flipping several cakes onto her plate. She did not wait for butter or syrup. She ate, despite the discomfort of its heat on her tongue. She closed her eyes as she chewed, savoring.

"It is good," Rei said.

"Thank you," Shinji said, more meaning there than she realized. He sat down with the remainder of the food he'd made, waiting for her request for more. His own appetite hid itself. They finished in silence.

Rei, for the first time that morning, realized she was still in her nightgown. She stood abruptly.

"I am going to bathe," she announced, unsure why she was so hesitant to tell him.

"Okay. I'll clean up here." He started piling the dishes by the sink. She watched him, backing up.

"You may use it after I finish if you wish."

"Hmm? Oh, sure. Thanks." He ran hot water.

Rei shook her head and hurried to her room. She rushed to the bathroom in her neglected robe. Shinji did not see her go.

* * *

Lunch hour at the JSSDF headquarters found Misato and Ritsuko in the doctor's office, dining together on salads and bottled water. The choice was new for the captain, her time with Shinji and his eating habits rubbing off on her. Ritsuko was simply trying to watch her waist line.

"I never knew you enjoyed salads so much," the blonde remarked, watching Misato happily chomp away at her lunch.

"Me neither. Shinji's real sensitive to Rei's vegetarianism, and he always cooks something good, despite his limited resources." She bit into a radish slice. "I owe him for showing me food like this is good."

"Glad to hear it." Ritsuko observed her eat, waiting. "You two have finally slept together, I take it."

Misato choked a little. She dabbed her mouth.

"Well… yes. We did." She grinned. "And we are."

"You must be ecstatic. He certainly took his sweet time."

Misato casually brushed off the jab, ignoring her own sentiments on the subject.

"Not really. It's just that Shinji is old-fashioned." Misato colored. "He didn't want to become intimate until he told me he loved me."

Ritsuko blinked.

"He said that?" She smiled. "I'm happy for you. Really happy."

"I know!" Misato squealed. "I could hardly believe it either. It's been a while since anyone said that to me."

The doctor opted not to think about how long it had been since she'd heard those words. She gave her friend a genuine, uninhibited smile.

"That's great."

"He tells me he loves me everyday now." Misato smiled. "Isn't that corny?" Her voice made it clear she held no malice for the act. "He actually told me for the first time that night you came over for his birthday."

"Really? What were the two of you doing after I left?"

Misato frowned.

"It wasn't like that. He just looked at me, and said it. I honestly wasn't expecting it at all." She smiled, reliving the memory. "He can be real romantic sometimes."

Ritsuko tried to imagine the shy boy she'd met being romantic.

"So you really love him?"

Misato nodded.

"Yes, I do." She spoke in a hushed, almost awed voice. She was still slightly amazed she was in love. "I love him."

"Wait a minute. His birthday was weeks ago. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Well, you've been real busy with the MAGI and all, and, well…" Misato smiled. "I wanted to keep him all to myself for a little. Is that so wrong?"

"Not at all." _Poor boy must be exhausted._ "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks."

Ritsuko emptied her bottled water into a potted plant.

"I'll admit this is a bit of a surprise."

"What? You don't think I can be serious about men?"

"It isn't that," the doctor said. "I honestly didn't think it would last."

"What? How can you say that?"

"I thought your backgrounds were just too different. Not to mention the trauma he's been through. I'm surprised he's actually in a real relationship."

"Don't let his outside fool you," Misato said. "He's strong. A fighter."

"Yes, I remember you telling me that before." She shrugged. "I didn't mean to strike a nerve. I'm just surprised, that's all."

"Well, be surprised. It won't change a thing."

They finished their lunches in a companionable silence. As the hour drew to its close, the doctor made her move.

"So…" Ritsuko said, leering. "How is he?"

"Dr. Akagi! Show a little decency!" She crossed her arms. "He's great."

"Really?"

"Mmm hmm. He's quite good for his age." Misato cast a dreamy gaze at some unseen point on the wall. "I love the way he holds me. He's so gentle. And the way he kisses." She laughed. "He kisses like a girl." Ritsuko gave her a look. "Okay, he kisses the way I imagine a girl would kiss me."

"Sounds nice," the doctor said lightly. "So you can… finish with him?"

"Ha! Shinji doesn't believe it's done unless we both have a good time." She grinned wickedly. "He's a diligent worker."

_Of course he's good,_ Ritsuko thought. _There's no way you'd stay with him if he wasn't._

"I mean, well, he isn't… the greatest lover I've ever had," Misato said. "He isn't suave or confident or anything but… but he makes me feel the best, you know? I mean, just the way he touches me and looks at me… it makes me feel incredible. Like he really loves me, more than anyone else. Shinji makes me feel like the best woman on earth." She sighed. "I can't really describe it… it's kind of like he thinks I'm the pinnacle of womanhood or something… I don't know… I'm rambling. Sorry."

"No need to apologize. An appreciative lover is pretty rare. Especially one that makes you feel… what did you say? 'Incredible'?"

_Incredible doesn't cut it. It's like he adores my body._ Misato swallowed. _It's like he worships me._

"If we keep talking about this I'm going to have to duck out of work early."

"How's Rei taking it?" the doctor asked, chuckling.

"She seems to be okay with it, believe it or not. She's never really warmed up to Shinji, or anyone else for that matter, but she doesn't complain anymore." She shrugged. "She doesn't even mind him staying over. That's a big step for her."

"Yes, it is. She must like him a little bit if she's consented to that."

"I guess. I hope. I think they'd have a lot to talk about if she gave it a chance."

* * *

Silence ruled the Katsuragi apartment, unwilling to release its stranglehold on the two within its walls.

Lunch was a mere thirty minutes away, and Rei found herself unable to concentrate on the book before her. She sat at the kitchen table, pre-empting the inevitable call for food. Shinji sat across from her, reading the paper, content with her company. The clock finally struck twelve and Rei cleared her throat.

"Oh! It's noon already. Well, how about some lunch?"

Rei nodded.

"What do you feel like?" He got up and checked the fridge. "We've got spaghetti, left over stir fry…"

"Anything you make will be satisfactory."

"Okay."

Shinji combined the two, and heated up a thin alfredo sauce. Rei wondered if he could read minds. She saw him hover over a package of Misato's beef as he went for the noodles.

"Does cooking for me bother you?"

Shinji looked up at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you not prefer to eat meat?"

"Not really… I lived with someone for a few years and she was a vegetarian too. I'm used to it."

Rei masked her surprise at his omission. _Why am I surprised?_

"You lived with a woman," she stated rather than asked.

Shinji blushed, having momentarily forgotten her age. He coughed.

"Um… yeah. It was… it was awhile ago."

"Did Misato break you two up?"

He imagined it could be stated that way, from a certain point of view.

"No, we… it just didn't work out."

"You must have loved her," Rei said.

"Why do you say that?" he asked, proud he didn't snap at her.

"I do not imagine you as someone to live with another without love." She looked at his back. "Do you love Misato more then her?"

"Yes," he said, watching the sauce heat up. His soft tone and quiet sadness stayed her tongue. She waited as the stove warmed her meal.

Shinji served himself as well this time, the morning's terror fading into an unpleasant memory. But the image of his father towering over him stayed with him. The image and the fear that had held him fast. He dropped an ice cube into Rei's water.

"I hope the noodles are hot enough," he said. He tried a smile on her. It was cast into a sea of neglect.

"They are fine."

Her personal brand of facial neutrality and curt responses no longer affected him as they first had. They still made him nervous, but the fear of having offended her had paled to a degree. Misato once remarked that everything offended her, and not to worry so much about it. He supposed she would know best, but his innate fear of wronging others seemed to kick in whenever Rei was around. He twirled a strand of noodles in his chopsticks and decided to try and stop tormenting himself with it.

The sauce was richer than Rei was used to, but she ate anyway. Her desire for flavor outweighed the consequences she would undoubtedly face later. Even now her stomach rebelled against the cloying meal by rumbling loudly.

"Are you okay?" Shinji asked.

"Fine," she replied, covering a burp. She saw him grin at her, then return to his plate. Rei blinked, realizing how sad his smiles could sometimes seem. That was Shinji in her eyes: always smiling, never laughing. She suddenly wondered how he saw her. She tried not to think about it.

She had reached several important truths regarding him, and his continuing relationship with her guardian. He was, as she had previously told Asuka, a unique male specimen. He was still subject to certain undeniable factors and appetites, but she chalked those up to his being an adult, and inability to think clearly. Shinji unmistakably desired pleasure from Misato, but oddly enough, he didn't seem concerned with power. They appeared to be a good match. Somehow, someway, Rei was glad for that fact. Her guardian was generally more pleasant to be around when her hungers were met, and Shinji from all angles appeared to meet them.

He was not… disagreeable, or repulsive, or bothersome. He was kind, and smart, and did not talk down to her. He treated her as an equal, someone worth his time. She appreciated it, but still felt something holding her back from fully reciprocating his overtures. What was it?

She did not desire him, so any thought or guilty feeling of stealing him away from Misato was absent,and she did nothate him. Her emotions regarding him lay somewhere within the grey area between those polars, neither pushing nor pulling to one extreme or the other. Thinking too deeply or too long on these matters usually resulted in a headache, or confusion for her carefully crafted apathy. Rei often concluded such times with the simple but vaguely understood idea that he was a good person, though she had no real facts to back the claim up. It was similar to her feelings regarding Misato, but with her, she had nearly her entire life to decide on her attributes, but never firmly stood behind any one belief.

Was it because of her guardian's erratic nature, or numerous mates? Or was it internal; that Rei was unable to settle on any of the thoughts that floated through her head. Self-reflection, however unsettling or distasteful it sometimes was, made up the majority of her time alone. Within her mind, she could be free, and setting limits upon herself and others became unfamiliar, frightening. She tried not to judge those around her, but it was difficult when no one understood you, or made serious attempts to.

Which brought her train of thought back to Shinji. He was here, right here, trying to establish a connection, with Misato, and with her. An honest connection. He was not a bad person.

After aiming in the dark for so long, Misato finally hit the target.

"I have nightmares, too," Rei said.

Shinji looked at her, forced to recall the morning.

"You do?"

She nodded.

"My parents were burned alive in a lab accident. I witnessed it."

"I'm… I'm so sorry," he said.

Rei shrugged.

"I heard you call out for your parents. I thought perhaps you had a similar experience."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Nothing as bad as that. My… my mother died when I was very young. My father was killed this past year."

Rei noted his terminology but remained silent.

"I had just met him again, too. Oh, I was raised by an uncle," he explained. "He did…" _His best. _"… a good job."

"I can tell." Rei pondered saying something about Misato's child rearing abilities, but decided not to. "I am sorry… if I made you recall anything unpleasant." She mouthed the apology again, slightly amazed she uttered it.

"It's alright." He smiled. "I'm sorry if I made you recall anything bad."

She shook her head. They finished their now cold lunches in a soft quiet, both deep within themselves. Rei put her chopsticks down first. She glanced at him.

"I will not tell Misato."

Shinji didn't know why, but he felt grateful.

"Thank you." He ate the rest of his meal in silence, taking his time. She stayed with him, though he had no idea why. He decided not to question it, and cleared his plate.

Rei was enjoying her post-meal haze when Shinji asked if she'd like tea.

_He is a mind reader,_ she thought.

They waited in peace as the water boiled, Rei taking time to inspect her tea leaves, Shinji awaiting the whistle from the kettle. It sounded and he poured for the both of them. They let the leaves steep, breathing in the aroma. He stood to fetch sugar, though neither one used any. He remained on his feet.

"What are you doing?" she asked, seeing him check the clock.

"There's a concert by the New Japan Philharmonic on TV today." Shinji blushed without knowing the cause. "Want to watch it with me?"

She nodded her consent. She had nothing better to do.

They sank into Misato's plush couch, and Shinji switched to the appropriate channel. Rei watched as the orchestra began tuning, the familiar pitches and notes stirring her old love for classical music.

"Ah, Misato-san told me you play the viola. Do you still play?"

"On occasion. I have not felt inspired for some time."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said.

"She told me you play the cello."

Shinji nodded, smiling. He watched the steam from his tea drift to the ceiling.

"Yeah, but I haven't kept up with it. I'm a little rusty."

"I enjoy cellos," Rei said.

"I enjoy violas."

She doubted that.

"I remember someone once saying that the cello was the closest instrument to a human voice."

"I heard that too."

They fell silent as the orchestra began. Rei hoped Shinji wasn't someone who talked through performances. He wasn't. He closed his eyes as the music started, nodding his head in time to the music, a wispy smile playing on his lips.

Rei watched him, and listened to the score.

She almost felt happy.

* * *

Misato leaned against the side of the elevator, a smile spreading over her face as she came closer to her apartment. The day was finally over, and the exhaustion that was working on her was slowly breaking up. She imagined the apartment filled with the scents of Shinji's cooking, he and Rei awaiting her return with open arms. Well, at least one of them would greet her with a hug.

She regretted leaving them alone all day together; she knew how friendly Rei could be with her lovers, or strangers in general.

_But Shinji isn't a stranger anymore, _she thought. And it wasn't like they never talked. Shinji would lightly question her sometimes as she waited for her meals. She'd answer readily enough, though never to the extent a friend or acquaintance would.

"At least she doesn't ignore him anymore."

She checked her watch. Well after seven. She hated making them wait so long, but with the MAGI up and running, the JSSDF headquarters was a mad house, trying to realign every system into the new supercomputer. Misato groaned. All the techno-babble she had to listen to every day was driving her crazy. She was glad she could vent with Shinji.

_Maybe Rei will already be asleep,_ she hoped. _I can't wait to get him in bed._

This pattern, of working hard all day at a job she was slightly disillusioned with and coming home to screw Shinji silly, was in her opinion, good. She was aware it couldn't last forever, but the thrill of taking him, of being with him was still present. She hoped he knew how much he turned her on, and how much she wanted him. She had an inkling he did.

Misato smiled as the elevator reached her floor. It turned to a leering grin as she remembered last night, and how passionate he'd been. How undeniably sexy he was. She liked that side of him, when he let down his guard and his inhibitions. When he showed her how much he loved her.

She actually blushed thinking about all the time he could take with her, whispering his love for her all the while.

The apartment opened for her key and she entered. She did not smell dinner cooking, and did not receive a hug from Shinji. She frowned.

She heard the TV, the sounds of applause floating towards her.

"Rei? Shinji?"

Misato caught no response. She walked into the living room, and stopped in her tracks. She laughed through her nose.

"Should I be jealous?"

Shinji and Rei were asleep in front of the TV, her head resting on his shoulder, her right arm slung across his lap. She snored lightly. A thin line of drool hung from her mouth. His head was slung down at an awkward angle, buried in the arm of the couch. Two cold cups of tea sat by their feet. Both seemed exhausted.

"Maybe I should be."

Misato fetched a beer from the fridge, opening it with one hand. She sat down at the kitchen table, and watched them sleep, leisurely sipping at her drink. She chuckled as Rei mumbled something and curled closer to Shinji.

"Definitely jealous," Misato said, grinning.

* * *

End of Chapter 10

Author's notes: several hundred apologies. A couple people have yelled at me for slow updates. Sorry. Life has a funny way of sneaking up behind me and biting my ass when I least expect it. Sorry, Phoenix.

Tugging on his brain stem? I know the brain can't feel pain, but so what? Eat it, proven medical knowledge. And eat it school schedules. Technically, Rei should be on summer break, but who gives a shit? And eat it plausibility. I took some liberties with Gendo. Felt this way was more dramatic or whatever. I don't really like this chapter. I am so fucking tired right now.

Okay, okay. _I'm sorry_. I am not creative or ambitious enough to make Shinji a bad lover. At least, not in this fic. But I do feel it's very probable Shinji would "worship" the one he loves. If nothing else, I think he'd be a fast learner in bed. And Misato would be a fast teacher.

Is Mana a vegetarian? I have no idea. I only have the most basic of understandings regarding _Girlfriend of Steel._ I have to admit I liked the idea of Mana, that is, a girl coming on to Shin-chan and meaning it. Well, sort of meaning it.

Um, that was a really long concert I guess. And I told you this one would be cheesy. At least the ending was.

Rei was a regular chatter-box this chapter. A little OOC but by now she's used to Shinji being in the apartment almost every day, and has seen how sincere he is. That doesn't mean she's going to fall in love with him or anything, but I like where the two of them are headed. Next chapter will deal with Shinji's past, and how the three main characters deal with it. But mostly, it's another Rei chapter. Hooray!

I guess you guys really don't want to see the side story I wrote for _TLW_, huh? I have yet to receive a truly negative review for _Witness_, which astounds me. Be on the lookout for chapters 2 and 3 over on mediaminer. 2 sucks. There is no way around that fact. It sucks and I have to live with it. Now I'm making you live with it. 3 sucks too, but to a lesser degree. Also, 3 has a really violent fight. Blood and guts and stuff. So please. I'm begging you to stick it out to at least number 4. It's the high point of the entire fic, at least for me. Because it is super dark. You thought the first chapter was bad…

Big thanks to the _X_ soundtracks, both TV and movie. You help me write good. Forever Love, baby. Forever Love.


	11. Chapter 11

True Love Waits Chapter 11

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: Evangelion and Radiohead: two things I don't own. Self-loathing and the ability to pass my body through a wire hanger: two things I do own.

* * *

"Aida Kensuke."

"Huh?"

The young hacker glanced away from his camera replay and found Rei bearing down on him, a look of abject boredom on her pale face.

"Ayanami?"

She nodded, assuring him he got her name right.

"I have need of your skills," Rei said.

This wasn't exactly how Kensuke imagined a girl would ask him out, but he wasn't really laboring on the point. That it was Ayanami, class 2-A's resident ice queen, made him sit up straight. She commanded respect, despite any personal feelings you might hold over her. Respect, and a healthy amount of fear. He glanced around the classroom, silently cursing his decision to stay after today, hoping to capture the girl's swimming team in all their splendor. Now he was alone, defenseless, vulnerable.

Kensuke began to sweat.

"My skills?" he asked. His eyes darted quickly around, hoping that someone, anyone, was bearing witness to this possibly life-changing event. Why did Touji have to leave and pick up his stupid sister?

"Your ability with computers."

He deflated all at once, unsure whether to feel relieved or disappointed.

"Oh. Um, what do you mean?"

"You are able to hack into systems, are you not?"

"I uh, don't really know what you're talking about," he said, playing it safe. It was a well known fact that Rei's guardian was both stunningly attractive and a member of the JSSDF. Having the government find out about his extra-curricular activities wasn't high on his to-do list. "I know my way around a PC if that's what you mean…"

"It is not. I require access into a databank, and I require your help." Rei sighed. "You will be rewarded."

"How?" he asked before he could stop himself.

"Money," she said, narrowing her eyes. Rei dropped a fistful of yen on his desk. "You will receive more upon completion."

Kensuke quickly counted the bills. He drew in a breath.

"Which databank?" He expected the school's, like so many others had requested, in order to alter their grades. Not that he was in the habit of whoring his abilities out like this, but computer software was expensive, and he was too young to get a real job.

Rei nodded, having won her battle.

"The JSSDF mainframe."

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 11

* * *

Rei walked home from school, having waited for either Misato or Shinji to pick her up, and finding neither. She didn't mind, that is, she wasn't angry, and reminded herself they both worked, though it was Shinji's day off. Oddly enough, he seemed to enjoy walking with her, even when conversation was nonexistent. She did not begrudge him his walks, or shy attempts at friendship, but had grown accustomed to them, though she refrained herself from actually looking forward to them. A girl had to have priorities.

She managed to duck out on her friends early and hide, believing Ikari would be joining her on the way home. She'd gladly deal with the repercussions she would invariably face tomorrow, rather than suffer through Asuka and Hikari's overt flirtations with the young man. While she had nearly admitted to herself why everyone seemed to love Ikari Shinji, Rei would never publicly confess to anything. Though she still remembered that one day they spent together, so long ago it felt now, when she had woken up nestled on his chest, while Misato looked on with a keen interest.

_"Sleep well?"_ she had asked, her voice adrift in a sea of innuendo.

There were only a few times in her young life when a blush could catch her, and that night Rei had been overrun by a big one. She'd pushed away from Shinji violently, waking him in the process. He was oblivious to everything that had happened, as well as the sizable stain of Rei-drool on his shirt. He rubbed his eyes and asked what was going on. Misato didn't tell him how she'd walked in on them, but had later forced Rei to promise her a favor to be decided on a future date. Rei could not refuse.

That day, as interesting as it had been, was merely another grain of knowledge towards her total awareness about Shinji. She'd be lying to herself if she said it did not color her thoughts in a slightly more positive viewing, but still there remained the invisible, impenetrable block against actively liking the man. It was really quite peculiar. Best not to question every aspect of her thought processes, she decided. She should only focus on the here and now, not the why.

But the why was gnawing on her mind. Why had she done what she did? Rei tried to think of Shinji, attempting to pry some kind of reason from his actions, or her own reactions. What had he done recently to merit her investigation into his past? She attempted to categorize their interactions, hoping that something would stand out.

He had previously remarked how smart and mature he thought she was, and had sounded sincere. He had defended his belief on the matter, so he must hold at least part of it as truth. Rei appreciated that, though it was nothing she didn't tell herself. It was nice to hear it from someone else for a change, though.

Even if it was Ikari Shinji.

Rei frowned. She shouldn't think of him like that. He wasn't a form of parasite one would examine under glass. He was a human being. And not a terrible one, at that. He had attempted friendship, a connection, an intimacy based on shared interests and common beliefs. He'd been polite and genuine, and never cross or short with her.

He had called her pretty.

All of these factors, as well as countless others stemming from her dealings with and perception of Ikari Shinji had led her to contact Aida today. As a neutral third party observer, any opinion or judgment he might make on her did not matter. Rei couldn't go through Misato for the information, or Asuka. She felt it imperative that no one who knew her well be privy to the plan of her seeking his background out. She wasn't entirely sure why, or rather, wasn't entirely willing to scrutinize why. Just that it was necessary. Aida was merely a means to an end, one she hoped to be done with very soon.

The streets leading to her home seemed almost abandoned as she walked. Rush hour was still a ways off, and students appeared to avoid her path from school. She did not mind. In the afternoon sun that shone upon her back, Rei moved with an almost carefree attitude, letting her book bag swing slightly at her side, her head held at a level height. She looked out over her intended course, strangely glad for the peace of the day.

She tried not to wonder too much about the why again, learning to enjoy her moods as they came and went. However small they may be. Misato often remarked how stoic Rei was, saying it wasn't healthy to always hide your emotions. Rei accepted a kind of logic from her guardian's words, but the threat of Misato's teasing colored any advice she issued. Rei wondered if she similarly commented upon Shinji's quiet disposition. She imagined she did.

While Rei usually ignored the woman's "good" humors, she found it more than likely that Shinji had a harder time of it. After all, they were far more intimate than she and Rei ever were. Not that the two women were strangers, but both seemed to distance themselves from any serious connections. Rei had seen the parade of nameless men to come and go in her lifetime, passing by without letting their feet rest, Misato apparently okay with the formula. It was only recently, quite recently, that Rei had begun to question the pattern.

She frowned. Ikari Shinji had certainly disrupted their routine lives. Her frown deepened. Lately everything was coming back to him. Like he attracted interest and attention without trying. He definitely seemed to be ensconced within Rei and Misato's heads. It was… a little unsettling.

She cast it off with a shake, reaching her apartment and opening her front door. It was silent as she entered, and for a moment she believed her guardian and her lover were gone. She kicked off her shoes and saw two other sets beside her own.

"Rei?" Misato's voice was hesitant, almost sounding afraid. Rei followed it to the kitchen, where she and Shinji were seated across from one another, both looking rather intense and serious. A folder lay between them.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked.

"No," Shinji said, a hard edge to his voice. He sighed, and shook his head. "No, it's… it's nothing." He reached across the table and held Misato's hand. Her shoulders sagged in relief. Rei saw her mouth she loved him.

"How was your day?" Misato asked, still staring into Shinji's eyes.

"It was."

He bolted up.

"Oh, God! I forgot to pick you up today!" He bowed. "I'm so sorry, Ayanami!"

_Same old Shinji,_ both women thought.

"It is not a problem. I am home now."

"I guess… but I'm still sorry, Ayanami."

He had finally dropped the honorific at her request, and had tried to reciprocate the gesture, but Rei was steadfast in her resolve to address him formally. He was, after all, seven years her senior.

"Forget it." She grabbed a glass of water and retired to her room. She was aware enough to know she probably should have taken the long way home today. Rei flopped down on her bed, turning her gaze to the glass, entranced with the way light filtered through the liquid. She wondered what Misato and Shinji were talking about. She decided it didn't matter. Or rather, that she could suspend her care until Aida fulfilled her request. Her entire life was in many ways, a waiting game. She resolved she could wait a little longer.

* * *

Misato came home, and was glad to be there. She almost spat thinking of the JSSDF. All the secrets, all the stupid intrigue, all the cover-ups. Any saliva stayed in her mouth, however. It was pay day, after all, and a damn good one, too. That file she'd snuck out on Shinji's father went unnoticed, at least, she hoped it went unnoticed. It was far from everything that man had done, she doubted her Shinji could handle the entire truth, but it was enough. Enough to make him angry, to give her the worst scare she'd had in years. The look in his eyes, the stiffness of his body, the lock he'd put on his emotions…

No, she thought. The look in his eyes. That was what scared her the most. Slightly glazed over, dead, the normal deep blue she was so used to by now, flickering with pent up emotion and frustration. Looking at her, but really looking through her. To something only he could see, very far away. And his demeanor. How… quiet he had been. Shinji could be a little frightening if he chose to be.

She shook her head. It was behind them now. Misato smiled a small smile, replaying the rest of that night. They'd gone to bed, still a little angry, still roughing each other's edges, not quite sure how to return to their happy routine. They'd undressed, out of tradition, but they stayed distant, their bodies refusing to touch. Angry sex wasn't something Misato was unfamiliar with, but Shinji was… well let's be honest. He was a naïve young man and that thought never entered his head.

She remembered his long sigh, taking time to ensure all his anguish, his hate, his regret bled out of him in that breath. Unsure how to return to her, he'd sought out her hand again, entwining their fingers, still unable to look her in the eye. He turned off the light and held her, simply held her, not kissing her, or caressing her, or trying to make love to her. He held her. And she held him.

Misato was feeling good now, secure in his love again, secure in her own. She sauntered down the front hall, kicking her shoes off as she went. She was pleasantly surprised to find Shinji's shoes, carefully placed by the door. He usually called before stopping by, to make sure he wasn't intruding. It irked her a little, the way he still thought he was barging in on her and Rei unless she spelled it out for him.

She sighed, deciding the good outweighed the bad. That was when she first heard it. A low, too low to be human sound, carried on the invisible currents within the apartment, caressing her ears, kissing them with slender notes. She stopped, feeling oddly moved by the strains of a cello, allowing the soulful playing to fill her up.

The Sarabande from Bach's suite for cello in G major filled her apartment, though she had no idea that it was. She peeked around the corner to the living room, finding Shinji working his instrument to produce the exquisite sounds. A sudden chill ran through her, a pleasant tingling, whole-body sensation that stole her breath. Like an auditory orgasm.

His eyes were closed, his body swaying in time to the notes and rhythm, his hands embracing the cello gently, but without any doubt. He was confident, but lacked arrogance or pride for his gift. It was like… it was like he was making love to it. Misato felt warm watching him play for the first time.

That was when she saw Rei sitting on her feetbefore him, eyes closed, a look of utter bliss on her pale face. Her hands delicately held onto her dress in her lap. She looked like she was praying.

The piece continued, moving from the Sarabande, to the Minuets, to the Gigue. Shinji finished with a long drawn out glide of his bow, letting the final note vibrate through the still room, enveloping all three in a hazy, almost spiritual reverence. There was silence for a time, no one daring to shatter the peace, the beauty, the all. Finally Rei let out a breath, long held in, letting it pass through her parted lips with a nearly awed hush. She blinked, coming out of a daze, inhaling the air with an angry gesture, as if desperate to capture the fleeing music.

"That was good," she told him.

"Thank you," he replied. They both whispered.

Misato blinked. Rei was smiling. _Smiling_. Her strange little smile that she had nearly forgotten she was capable of. An unwarranted pang of jealousy stole through her. Had they really connected so thoroughly right under her nose? The power of Shinji's performance, her own jumbled mass of emotions played strangely in her, and she had to breathe through her mouth.

Misato retreated back down the hall, suddenly ashamed she had stolen that moment between them. She opened the door and struck her shoes, letting them hear her.

"Heya, guys!" she called out. "Oh, wow! You brought your cello over," she covered, eyeing Shinji. "I'm a little jealous. You'll play for Rei, but not for me?"

He blushed, fumbling with the bow. He gave a quick glance to Rei.

"Um, sorry. She, uh, she asked me to, so I, uh, I…"

"Don't spaz out," Misato said, laughing. "I was just kidding. But you'd better play for me later, alright?" She desperately wanted to experience him again, his skill, the passion he let flow through the strings.

"Oh, sure. If you really want."

Rei stood, the moment gone. She stopped, turned to face Shinji, and let him see a quick bow. She hurried to her room, conveniently disregarding the deal the two of them had made earlier; he would play for her, and she would return the favor. She was glad Misato had returned. Her hands seemed incapable of even tuning her instrument.

Her door closed, and Shinji and Misato were left alone. The sun was setting in the window. He stood, carefully covering his cello, leaning it against his chair.

"Guess I better get dinner ready," he said, sliding by Misato. She took his hand, halting his progress, and kissed him. She kept kissing him, unwilling to let him go. She found herself recalling the slow, sure way he stroked the cello, and it somehow became extremely appealing to her. She let her intrigue be known.

"Make something quick tonight," was all she needed to say to him.

* * *

Shinji stumbled out of the bedroom, trying to catch his breath. He tripped over his own feet in the dark, blindly groping along the wall as his vision adjusted. A pale sliver moon lighted his way.

_Never done _that_ before,_ he thought, a little shaken.

Physical exhaustion had demanded refueling for the two lovers, and Shinji volunteered to fetch it. He glanced back at Misato's room, the door slightly ajar, and found a gleaming white thigh waving back at him. He looked away.

He had almost filled his glass with water from the tap when he realized Rei was beside him.

"Ah! Ayanami!" He swallowed hard, his mind racing. He whispered due to the late hour. "You… you're not asleep?"

She gave him a tired stare.

"No." Rei took in his appearance, and his body, clad only in boxers, glistening with sweat. He blushed.

"S-sorry," he said. He hoped that one apology encompassed everything he felt bad for. She seemed to accept it. An awkward silence fell between them, as Shinji filled two glasses, and quickly accosted the refrigerator for leftovers. He thought better of giving Misato only water, and grabbed a beer. He bit his lip, unable to just leave Rei. "Um, uh… sorry," he said again.

"For what?"

"Um… well, just for…" He broke off with a sigh. He felt naked, standing next to the fourteen year old girl wearing only his sweat-stained underwear. "For… y-you know…"

"Yes," Rei said vaguely. She was not unaware that his cello had migrated into Misato's room, giving her a private performance. The idea that the woman had gotten hot because of his playing was a mildly frustrating enigma for the girl. It sullied her previous enjoyment to a degree.

Shinji swallowed. He thought about asking her when she was going to play for him, but it felt wildly inappropriate at the moment. He sighed.

"Shiiiinnnnjjiiii…" a sultry voice wafted through the apartment. The young man in question colored and gulped. He hastily gathered his provisions and backed away from Rei.

"Ah, well, I should… I should be going now. Um… yeah." He nodded, mostly to himself, and left the kitchen.

Rei watched him return to the bedroom, trying to carry the refreshments and cover his slim form at the same time. He was not succeeding.

She blinked. Above the rim of his shorts, on the small of his back, was a vicious looking scar, like someone had carved an X on him with a dull knife. It looked impossibly painful, and she quickly recalled all of the early days she had known him, when he tenderly held his back. Rei had originally believed it to be another of his nervous habits, but now she knew better. He had been severely injured, and she felt… sad. Who would do such a thing to him?

Rei watched as he slid the door to Misato's room shut with his foot. Her strained ears listened to the silence of the apartment for a moment, before her guardian's stereo came to life, playing a thumping rock song with a heavy bass line. It somehow seemed proper. Rei pondered spending the rest of the night in the kitchen to avoid treading near the domain of the two lovers. But she felt indescribably weary after her conversation with Shinji, and her bed held a certain, undeniable allure. She finished her water and placed the glass in the sink.

As she crept past Misato's door, a break in the song let a long, rigid sigh enter her ears. Her blood went cold. Rei hurried past to her room and almost jammed the door shutting it too hard. She leaned against the wall, feeling the vibrations of the music through her fingertips. Or maybe it was the vibrations of Misato's futon. She tried not to think about it either way.

She allowed her mind to drift, hoping it would carry her away from the noises in the night. She focused hard on drifting, and Shinji's cello met her ears. Whether it was a memory, or if he was truly playing seemed unimportant. She heard it clearly, and dreamt into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Ayanami."

Rei glanced behind her, squinting into the setting sun. Students hurried past her in the front courtyard, glad the day was over.

"Aida-kun," she spoke, seeing the young man. He looked haggard and worn, and his camcorder was missing. She fast decided she didn't care. "Are you done?"

"Yeah," he replied, pursing his lips and staring past her. He sidled next to her, and produced a disc from his backpack. "This is it," he said.

Rei took it from him, staring at the reflective surface. She passed her thumb over the cover. She suddenly remembered the deal, and shoveled a fistful of bills from her pocket to him.

"Here," she said.

Kensuke blinked, and swallowed. His eyes did not hold the same look as they had several days ago during the down payment. In fact, his entire demeanor seemed lower, almost afraid. His hand shook slightly as he retrieved his money.

"Yeah, thanks," he said absently. Even simple courtesy appeared to weaken him further. He looked down at the cash, ruffling lightly in the afternoon breeze.

_He… he does not want more, does he?_ Rei thought. She started to inch away. He stayed staring at his hand, oblivious to the rest of the world. Rei shrugged to herself and started home. She felt… almost excited to get back to her room and discover Shinji's past. When she was no more than a yard from him, Kensuke spoke out.

"Don't… please don't ask me to ever do something like this again, okay?"

Rei looked back with a sigh. She had hoped that her association with the boy had ended. But the look on his face told her he needed to talk. She waited.

"I… I hacked into the mainframe through my father's terminal at home. I…" He paused, looking at the pocket Rei placed the disc into. "If anyone found out, I'd probably be arrested, or worse."

_Is he looking for a thank you?_

"The guy you wanted was top secret stuff. It… it took me awhile to figure it out. When I finally got it, I…" He stopped again, shaking his head.

"What is it?" Rei asked, her patience fading.

"This guy… is probably real messed up. A lot of… a lot of stuff happened to him. I couldn't find everything about him, but what I did find…" Kensuke shivered under the twilight sun. "Please never ask me to do something like this again." He turned, shoving his money into a pocket, and disappeared into the late afternoon.

* * *

Shinji was already at the apartment when Rei arrived home. She was glad she told him not to meet her at school today. He greeted her with a smile, and she nodded back. She did not stop to talk, or to refuel her body. Shinji blinked a little, but knew better than to question her outright.

"Got a lot of homework?" he asked, hovering over the tea kettle as it heated up.

"Yes," she replied, and went to her room.

She twirled the disc between her fingers as her laptop came to life, watching as the light from her lamp danced on its edges. Rei inserted it, and waited.

Some time later, as she read, as she immersed herself in Ikari Shinji's life history, she heard Misato come home, a vague notion at the fringes of her consciousness. Rei read, and read, until there was nothing left to read on the disc, and closed the screen into the keyboard. She stayed on her bed for a long time, thinking, of Shinji, and the words that exposed his past. She carefully placed her computer beside her, and lay down.

At the periphery of her hearing she listened to Misato talk with Shinji, laughing, joking, loving, all their words falling like unfamiliar noises on her ears. Rei stared at her door, imagining the two beyond it. She thought of their affection for each other, their passion, their declared love. She thought of the scar on his back, the unspoken sadness in his eyes, the fear in his actions.

Rei felt her chest constrict in a sharp gasp. Her throat felt hot and small. Her mouth felt dry. She stared at the door, thinking of Shinji. She shuddered only a little when the tears crept out of her eyes.

* * *

End of Chapter 11

Author's notes: no, this will _not_ be turning into a Kensuke/Rei fic. I'm not entirely sure why but that pairing disturbs me. Greatly. Poor Aida-kun. He never gets any love.

Ah, sedemihcrA, you nailed one of my many weaknesses: scene description. Personally, I like writing fanfiction because nearly everyone reading it is familiar enough with the series and settings that I feel I don't have to go into great detail. But honestly, yeah, you're totally right. I am vague. Thanks for the review. Constructive criticism is the only way I'll ever learn. That and flames. I love flames.

God, I hate this chapter. Here's a question. Whenever I write something, I inevitably form an opinion of it, if it's readable or total crap. And also, inevitably, whichever way I lean, the people who read it seem to always go in the opposite direction. Stuff I think sucks my reviewers call terrific. Stuff I like people are lukewarm or indifferent to. Does this happen to other writers? It happens to me all the freaking time. Case in point: I thought chapter 2 of _Witness_ sucked hard. But people have responded to it positively. Well, what the hell do I know, right?

I know, I know, I should have gone into Shinji and Misato's conversation that Rei walked in on, but I didn't feel like it. My guess is that she finally came clean on at least some of Gendo's dealings, since he remembered what happened to him last chapter. I just didn't think it was required. Plus, we all knew how it would end anyways. No need for it.

I actually toyed with the idea of Shinji getting a job at Rei's school as a music teacher, but then I realized that would be horrible. Sorry it took me so long to incorporate his cello. I honestly forgot about it. And people, if you've never had an auditory orgasm… you're really missing out. Pick up some Bach and get tingly.

I have no credible explanation for the long wait for this chapter. All I can say is I think my muse has been cheating on me. Sorry, Phoenix. And no, I'm not dead. Not yet at least. Just, you know… life.

Next chapter will be delayed (dodges thrown bottle). Sorry. I can't, and won't, help it. 12 is supposed to be the first part of the two-part conclusion, but the more I think about it, the more I know people will hate it. _I_ hate it. And I wrote the damn thing. I'm currently writing a new chapter 12, one that presents some much needed conflict into Shinji and Misato's relationship. Sorry, but I don't know when it will be finished.

Big thanks to the Furi Kuri soundtracks. The Pillows freaking _rock_. They help me write good.

… you see? That's a joke. Not about the Pillows, no. They really do rock. It's the last sentence. See, grammatically, it should be "they help me write _well_.", not "good." Which is the joke. Because I think this is neither well nor good.

To make up for the delay, I present to you my first ever omake. Actually, it's more of me adding insult to injury. Oh well.

OMAKE!

Shinji: _Um, me playing the cello doesn't really make you… aroused… does it, Misato-san?_

Misato: _Hell yeah! Anything you do gets me hot!_

Shinji: _What?_

Rei: _Agreed. Your everyday actions often bring me to the peak of physical sensation._

Shinji: (faints)

Misato: _Damn that's hot. _

Rei: _Agreed. _


	12. Chapter 12

True Love Waits Chapter 12

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: like the last eleven times, and for every other time, I do not own Evangelion or Radiohead. I hate writing disclaimers. Because they force me to realize just how empty my life really is.

Pre-story note: this is a new chapter, one I created out of thin air. This is in response to my fears about how the ending will go over, and my pathetic desire to please others. So to that end, you'll notice it's double sized. Also, I decided I should finally earn the M rating on this. Think of this installment as my own little diet chapter with a lime twist.

Time to disappoint sedemihcrA again, and on two fronts.

* * *

"Ikari Shinji!" 

"Huh?"

He glanced at the microwave's digital clock in his kitchen, noting with no small amount of ire that it was just past twelve. He suppressed a groan of exhaustion as he abandoned the complicated preparation of toast and made his way to the front door. It was his day off, and while he normally didn't let himself sleep any later than nine, the physical aspect of his relationship with Misato required a healthy dose of recharging, more than he was used to. It was just that she liked sex. A lot. And being with her, even on the verge of passing out from fatigue, he found himself unable or unwilling to ever tell her no. Somehow, he didn't think the headache excuse would work on her anyway.

"I'm coming," Shinji called out as the blows continued to rain on his door. He noted, almost subconsciously, on how dusty his apartment was. There was a fine film of grey covering his couch and coffee table, and the box that still housed his television. _Not like I spend much time here anymore, anyway._

"Open up!" the voice yelled again, disturbingly familiar.

"Who is it?" he asked, too tired to use the spyhole or even worry.

"The JSSDF!" More pounds.

It was with numb obedience to any and all authority figures that Shinji unlatched the chain and opened the door. He barely noticed his back fire in sympathetic pain. It was also with a detached sense of reality that he watched a red and purple blur fling his door wide and barge into his home.

Katsuragi Misato, in full military regalia, stepped into his apartment with one, long stride, and kicked the door closed after her. The dark blue, near black really, and red trim of her uniform gave the illusion of height and professionalism. In any other situation, the officer's hat tilted on her head would appear cute. But being presented with the entire package at the same time, and being only the second time he saw her dressed like this, the overall effect was one of danger and authority. She was even wearing her sidearm, Shinji noted.

"Uhh…" he croaked, trying hard to reconcile the past few minutes since he woke up. "Is there something I can do for you?"

Though her face remained stony, angry even, her eyes were lit with something a touch more… mischievous. No, that wasn't it. Playful? Amused? Shinji knew he'd seen it before, but it was hard to focus on something as subtle as another human being's hidden emotions right now, even if they were displayed behind those gorgeous brown eyes he loved. It seemed he had loved them for as long as he could remember. And as he was currently both crushingly tired and confused, his entire memory consisted of little over twenty minutes.

And as he looked again it was gone. Vanishing as quick as it appeared, replaced with stolid determination.

"Up against the wall. Now."

It dawned on him that she was not joking. Something was making her act incredibly serious, more so than he had ever seen her before. His eyes absorbed her uniform again, and a slow sense of fear blossomed in his head.

"Is… is something—"

"I said _now._"

She spun his body and pushed him against the wall by his couch, pressing herself to him. Without warning, her hands roughly ran over him, even to places deemed inappropriate during sex. Shinji realized, after about a solid minute of this treatment, that it was nothing but a very unusual form of frisking. The realization did not stop his body from reacting, though.

"Ah," Misato said, her hands gripping the front of his pants. "What's this? A concealed weapon? You know those are illegal, don't you?" She unzipped him with a savage tug.

Shinji began to panic.

"What… what do you think you're doing?" he asked, knowing full well what she was doing. "What are… hey, wait a second—"

_Click._

Shinji blinked, feeling cold metal over his wrists.

What the hell?

"Resisting an officer in the JSSDF is a punishable offense," she said. "Maybe with a little good behavior I'll take the cuffs off you."

Handcuffs. A shiver of… something ran down his spine. He forgot how tired he was.

"Mi-Misato-san…?"

"That's captain Katsuragi."

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 12

* * *

Misato hurried into the main bridge, unconsciously combing her hair with her fingers. She tried to remember where she left her scrunchie. Then she did remember, and decided it was better she didn't have it. She nearly ran into Ritsuko's back, lost in the powerful memories of the past hour. The aborted tackle did not stop the doctor, after an extended blink, from bristling though. 

"Glad you decided to come back to work. I thought you got lost in line for lunch."

"Oh, ah, sorry. I guess I'm a bit late."

"A bit late?" Ritsuko asked incredulously. "Break ended over forty minutes ago. Where the hell were you?"

"A friend got tied up. I had to help out."

The doctor stared at her, shaking her head slightly.

"Come on," the captain said, chuckling. "What's got your panties in a twist?"

Ritsuko sighed, and Misato noticed how exhausted she really looked.

"Could you try to be professional, at least for a few hours? Today's a big day, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Well, you say that…" The blonde snorted softly. "Forget it. I don't care where you were. Just get it together. We're almost ready to proceed."

"Serious cap is firmly in place, doc." She saluted. "Awaiting your go ahead."

Ritsuko snorted again.

"Grow up," she said, her voice declaring the dialogue was over. She turned away.

Misato sighed. Was this how she pictured herself at nearly thirty years of age? Sneaking out at lunch from work to indulge in one of her oldest (and now fulfilled) fuck fantasies? Of having her more exotic itches getting scratched by, in her mind, the single most passive male on the face of the planet? And finding herself enjoying every second of it?

Misato was not naïve. She surprisingly held few of her faults from her own mind. She was aware of how others perceived her, and found herself genuinely disinterested with what they thought. At least, that was what she liked to tell herself.

She liked power. It was a reality she had long ago realized, and had since made peace with. Power was a very pleasant thing to her. Hell, she loved it. Got off on it. Her father taught her that power meant control, and control meant security. Once secure, happiness was easy to obtain. Granted, her father had never been happy, or even content, but they both chalked that up to him never having as much power as he wanted. That, and the alternative in her mind, of her weeping, broken mother, was a trait Misato was loathe to experience, ever. Even if it meant, albeit on a nearly unconscious level, asserting herself in ways the good Dr. Katsuragi never dreamed.

Even this past session with Shinji was, admittedly, little more than a lengthy exercise for her already inflated ego. But was it her fault she liked being in control? Was it her fault he had absolutely no problem with it?

No, of course not. There was no fault to be had. A good time was had by all.

Right?

_Oh yes_, she thought, unable to contain a wicked blush. _We'll definitely be using the cuffs again._

Sex with Shinji was good. On a few notable occasions, it was great. Through experimentation, time and association, she had discovered that if she pressed his buttons the right way, in a very careful order, his normal, meek, timid self was replaced with something very, very different. He could be thrilling, physically taxing, rough. Well, as rough as Shinji could ever hope to be.

While not given to literature and language, Misato had some difficulty properly expressing exactly how he behaved in those instances. Quite by accident she had discovered the word she was looking for. During one of the MAGI's countless tests she witnessed, Ritsuko blurted it out as they watched the supercomputer tear through their best firewall, gutting it out.

Berserk.

Misato found it to be a fairly good fit for Shinji. She had been aware, even before they started officially seeing each other, that he had a lot of unresolved anger issues. Understandable, given his background. She was also aware of his depression, and after some quick research on the government's dollar, had discovered the theory that the illness was anger directed towards oneself. Misato herself didn't entirely understand that, but she supposed blaming himself was the easiest option for him given his tormentors. She pointedly decided not to wonder if he was still angry with her.

But despite all that, after every time he lost himself in her, he'd become very self-conscious, almost ashamed. At first, Misato tried to laugh his dour mood from him, joking about her "jolly good rutting." That seemed to make matters worse, for both of them. Shinji would close up his emotions, and Misato would get pissed that the best sex of their relationship was somehow a disgrace to him.

It wasn't like those were the only times she could come with him, but they were the most intense. Honestly, and thankfully, she had only faked with him once. He had the uncanny ability to tell when she was lying. About anything. As she told Ritsuko some time ago, Shinji was, if nothing else, a diligent worker. And receptive to input. He was Misato's perpetual employee of the month. And the best way to ensure good relations between the boss and the staff was to maintain open channels of communication. Honesty was the cornerstone of any successful business.

But sometimes Misato wanted to be dirty, to be wicked, and to leave all the deep emotional stuff on the floor next to her underwear. Shinji just couldn't let it go. Sure, hearing her lover tell her how much he cherished her during sex could be hot, but not when she wanted him to bend her over backwards and make her scream. Which was, she admitted, more often than not.

For Shinji, sex was always some big, moving, emotional _thing_. It was never "fucking." It was always "making love." It was never just for fun, or to release some tension. For him it was literally a physical expression of his love for her, and he felt it necessary to instill in her how much he adored her, each and every time.

Misato had subtly tried to convince him that sometimes sex was just sex, but even when she delved into fantasy and outright kink he wasn't dissuaded. And as far as his own fetishes were concerned, Shinji's biggest turn on seemed to be watching her face as she came. Ikari Shinji was, Misato decided, incredibly vanilla. Not boring; he followed her lead no matter what she suggested, but he never took the initiative. He never suggested anything outside the norm, and when she asked about what she could do to please him, he acted like a kid, stuttering and blushing into an awkward silence.

"_It's a two-way street,"_ she had told him. And she honestly believed that. But… God… that look he had, the one of utter humiliation and guilt over what made him feel good… it was cringe-inducing. And mood-killing.

She thought of several outlets for her anger over his apparent shame with his own sexuality. The first, and most obvious, was Mana. Misato didn't know what their sex life was like, but it obviously wasn't great. It was distinctly unsettling, at least to the captain, that the happiest Shinji looked during their times together was when he gave her pleasure. What kind of a man was like that? It couldn't be healthy. It certainly wasn't normal.

Misato seethed. That manipulative little bitch must have done something to her Shinji. Something to make him so damn repressed. The captain had tried hard to help him open up, she really had, but she couldn't help but get a little frustrated after every attempt was met with his trademark evasions. So, in an effort to aggressively bring about a resolution to the issue, colored only slightly by her annoyance with him (very, _very_ slightly she told herself), she decided to withhold any and all sexual contact with him and see how long he could last. Let him initiate it for once in his life.

In retrospect it was no great surprise her plan turned out to be a complete failure. Instead of taking her in a flurry of pent up animalistic lust as she hoped, Shinji reverted back to his old self, the way he was when she first started seeing him, apologizing constantly and begging forgiveness for imagined wrongs. Though he had no idea what his sin was, he completely humbled himself before her. Feeling guilty herself, Misato assured him it was just pressure at work, nothing to do with him. She then proceeded to take him in a flurry of pent up animalistic lust.

So it didn't work out. But Misato still had hope. There was always hope. Actually, Shinji _had_ confessed something to her… after months of prodding him for something, anything. Her little Shin-chan liked to keep the lights on. She had no problem with that.

_But I'm digressing,_ she thought with a quick shake of her head to disperse her blush.

Next up on the captain's frustrated hate list was his dead father. While not willing to go into the man's dealings freely, even within her own mind, she settled on the vague but firmly understood notion the guy had been a total asshole. As Misato held few of her own faults from herself, she was also surprisingly unapologetic when dealing with someone else's. Shinji had abandonment issues. She couldn't say it any simpler than that.

"_I can't be alone."_

Even after all these months, those words still made her frown. There was a time when she wondered if he stayed with her, despite all her quirks, simply because she showed an interest. Shinji never struck her as someone who would actively pursue a woman. Perhaps his passivity, his pathetic selflessness, his juvenile need to please others all stemmed from his fear of abandonment. So, what then? Was he just using her as the path of least resistance?

_Just like I'm using him._ Misato sighed through her nose. _Fuck it. We're helping each other. We love each other. Nothing else matters but that._

In the end she arrived at the conclusion she always arrived at: Shinji was an unfortunate combination of all the factors of his shitty life, coupled with his overly sensitive nature. It wasn't a death sentence. It would just take some time and patience. Misato could only imagine how she'd turn out if her father nearly got her killed and then died, and learned that her entire life was a lie, manipulated by some shadowy government agency. She didn't want to meet the person who was well adjusted after that.

Misato was rudely torn from her musings as the entire bridge crew broke into a sudden, though subdued, celebration. The captain glanced at the main screen of the command deck and found it proudly displaying the total success of the MAGI's integration within the JSSDF's core system. Caspar was now at their beck and call, a slave to human will once more.

"Finally!" Ritsuko said, putting an unusual amount of emotion into her declaration. "It feels like years since we started this damn project."

"I don't know why it took so long, anyway," the captain said with a smirk.

"Not even your snarky attitude can ruin this for me." The doctor paused, listening as commander Fuyutsuki indulged himself in another of his long winded speeches about progress and accomplishment and what a momentous occasion this was and— "Screw this. Want to go out and celebrate after work? Hit a couple bars, like the old days?"

"Sounds fun. Girls' night out. I'll tell Shinji and Rei not to wait up." She produced her cell phone and began to dial. At her side, Ritsuko cleared her throat.

"Ah, Misato? You know you're supposed to be in full dress today, right?"

"Of course." She absently gestured to her clothes. "Do these look like my pajamas?"

"No, no… just…" The doctor coughed. "Ah, your skirt is inside out."

* * *

It was a definite rarity, Shinji mused as he sat down to breakfast in Misato's kitchen. Rei was late for school. Granted, it was only a few minutes late, and she'd probably get to school before anyone noticed, but it brought a smile to his face nonetheless. The reason she was late, that she slept in, escaped him. Of course, if he bothered to really think about it, the cause was obvious. Misato had been rather vocal last night, to say nothing of how demanding she was. Despite her little lunchtime visit yesterday. As it was, Shinji was amazed he was even alive right now, let alone awake. Even more amazing was that Misato was already awake and at work, given their workout and the gentle beer buzz she came home with last night. 

_Both of them,_ he mused, thinking of the two women he was more or less living with. _They're both so driven sometimes. And while I can't say anything about Ayanami's stamina I swear to God Misato must have extra batteries or a power cord or something. I need to start drinking coffee. Or smoking crack. Something. _

As Rei exited her room with her book bag, his grin faltered a touch. Though she was late, she was as calm as ever. Shinji snorted softly, the little fantasy he held about a frazzled Rei rushing to beat the late bell dissolving as quickly as it appeared. He turned to make space for the girl at the table, hoping she had enough time to at least sit a moment for breakfast.

When he looked up for her again, he found her on the floor, her face tight with pain. Her legs were splayed in an unnatural pose while her hands held her left ankle.

"Ayanami!" He was at her side in an instant. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"… no."

Unable or unwilling to vocalize further, she nodded briefly to a wet puddle on the floor beside her. Tracing the line of liquid to an overturned beer can, Shinji swore softly.

"Misato-san…" He sighed, then focused on Rei. "Let me take a look at it."

Her left eyebrow rose effortlessly despite her obvious pain.

"You are a doctor?"

"No, but I know enough first aid to at least suspect when I'm looking at something serious. Come on."

She hesitated, some internal debate firing behind her eyes, before relenting.

"The left ankle," she said, glancing away. She missed his quick nod.

His fingers gently probed the injury, while lifting her calf to gain better lighting. Shinji's brow was drawn low, a look of intense concentration on his face. He was so consumed with assessing her wound he missed the kiss of pink on Rei's cheeks.

"It doesn't look too bad," he said with a relieved sigh, unwittingly sending a warm breeze across her leg. "But maybe we should get you to the hospital, just in case…" He paused with a confused blink. "Are you cold? Your leg is all goose-pimply…"

"I am fine," Rei said, snatching her leg back from Shinji. She swallowed hard. "I must get to school."

_Get away. Get away. I need to get away._

She rose quickly, and fell down again just as fast.

"Ayanami!" Shinji frowned. "You can't go to school like this. You're hurt!" He sighed, waiting for some kind of response, and received none. "Listen. I doubt missing one day will ruin your GPA. I'll call a taxi and take you to the hos—"

"No." She briefly looked in his general direction and found she was not going to get out of this. She sighed. "I do not need medical attention."

Shinji frowned.

"Maybe not professional attention." He crossed his arms in a decidedly non-Shinji pose. "I don't want you going to school today. I'll call and say you broke your ankle."

"It is not broken," Rei said, adept at stating the obvious.

"Well they don't have to know that." He grinned a little as she expressed surprise at his planned deception. "Besides, you could probably use a break, miss honor student."

Yet again, Rei realized she was not getting out of this. She wasn't sure she liked this side of him. Regardless of the fact that she did in fact want a break.

"… fine. I will not attend school today," she said, defeated, but making sure to emphasize the last word. She rose on her single good leg.

"Good." Shinji suddenly seemed to revert back to his old self, and haltingly took a step towards her. "Um, let me help you to your room."

Rei killed his aid with a look. She hopped away.

"I am not an invalid." Getting into a rhythm, she reached the door to her room. She paused, holding the frame, and without looking back, spoke. "Do not call me honor student again."

Her door shut, and Shinji sighed.

* * *

The doorbell rang, and Shinji sighed. 

He was actually glad for a distraction. Spending the day with Rei had not gone as well as he'd hoped. Actually, it was a complete disaster. She spent the whole day cooped up in her room, declining his repeated attempts to keep her company, give her food, play his cello, and everything else he suggested that implied any sort of human interaction. The most he got from her was a stilted "thanks" when he periodically refreshed the bag of ice on her ankle.

He selfishly wondered if they'd ever be able to recreate that day she'd told him about her nightmares, or when he played for her. As much as it embarrassed him to admit it (to himself, never to anyone else), he liked the strange, taciturn albino. After spending some real time with her, he quickly came to that decision, as well as the truth that she was undoubtedly the smartest person in this apartment, maybe the most mature person he had ever met.

And they had just recently gotten close. Shinji snorted, mentally punching himself. And here he had to go and ruin it with a pathetic attempt at acting friendly. Maybe it was better when he was moody or embarrassed. An assertive, wise-cracking Shinji was definitely abnormal.

_I need to stop trying to imitate Misato-san._

So as he answered the front door, his normal, somber, slightly "wounded animal" look was firmly in place, which unfortunately happened to have a devastating effect on the young girl who just rang the bell.

"Oh," Shinji said, blinking as recognition hit him. "Horaki, right?" He waited as the brunette nodded slowly, her eyes wide. She looked impossibly small and vulnerable. "Uh, please come in. You must be here about Ayanami, right?" Again, another slow nod, followed by a lengthy pause. Shinji moved back, giving her more room. She required a full three meters before she would enter the apartment.

Hikari slipped her shoes off, again slowly, and seemed to find the floor exceedingly fascinating, since she didn't lift her eyes from it. She could practically feel the smoke billowing from her heated cheeks.

"Ah, well… it's nice of you to stop by," Shinji said, wondering what the hell her problem was. "You know where her room is, right?"

A quick nod and an even quicker scuttling of feet was his answer. He stood alone in the front hall and sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"I just can't seem to do anything right today," he groaned.

* * *

Rei felt the unfamiliar yet distinct urge to growl as her door was flung open and shut with enough force to derail a small commuter train. She shut her laptop and prepared yet another firmly neutral repudiation to Shinji's increasingly idiotic attempts at association and was stopped short by a heavily panting, heavily blushing brunette. But not the heavily panting, heavily blushing brunette she was expecting.

"Horaki," the albino said, unsure if this was a change for the better. "What are you doing here?"

"Rei!" Hikari jumped to an impressive height while scattering her book bag and papers, before she fell to stuttering. "I, uh, I didn't think you'd be here. I didn't think he'd… I mean, that anyone would be here. I just, um, just thought I'd leave your handouts in the mailbox but I sort of rang the bell by habit and I just didn't expect him to be here and now you're here so…" She broke off. "I mean, good! Good! It's good you're here! Because I came to see you!" Her follow-up laugh sounded more than a little manic.

"Why did you think I would not be in my home?" Rei asked, conveniently disregarding everything else that tumbled from the shy girl's mouth.

"I… I don't know. I've just been… kind of out of it lately." She bit her lip. "Can I just… stay here a little? Just for a little?"

True, there was some unmistakable hormonal coloring to her speech patterns, but there was also an overriding tone of desperation that had nothing to do with a desire to, as Misato colorfully put it, "ruin the mattress." Thus, Rei agreed.

"Oh thank God," Hikari blew out in a single breath and all but collapsed on the end of the bed. "I just… need to catch my breath." She concentrated all her mental faculties on the task of slowing her pulse, and her thoughts. It was her firmly entrenched sense of personal shame that finally made her speak again. "How are you feeling? I heard you had some kind of horrific accident."

Rei rubbed her temples.

"I am fine. It is just a sprain." She quirked an eyebrow. "I am surprised Soryu is not with you." _Though I am not complaining._

"Um… she hasn't been in school for two days, Rei. Didn't you notice?"

Obviously not.

"She, ah, she says she got mono," the brunette went on, fighting off a laugh. "But that has to be a lie. She's never kissed anybody. It's probably just cramps or something. She never was very good at dealing with them."

"I see."

Rei was not prone to prayer, or religion in general. Even basic spirituality required a leap of faith from her. And yet, as she sat on her bed with Hikari after school, the pale girl found herself thanking whatever invisible deity was responsible for Asuka staying home for the day. It gave her the opportunity she had been waiting for, practically longing for. True, patience was a virtue, and a quality her life demanded from her, but there was a distinct difference between being patient and being a fool. And only a fool would pass up this chance.

Still, Rei couldn't help but feel a degree of preamble was necessary. Hikari was, after all, an easily embarrassed person.

"You are quite… flustered today. More so than usual. Something happen at school?" Let it never be said that Rei was not a master tactician.

Hikari stared at her friend, wide-eyed.

"N-no, nothing out of the ordinary." The brunette shifted. _Since when does she ask questions?_ "Just, you know… same old same old."

"So your agitation is caused solely by you being here?"

"Ah… I, um… I suppose so, yes…" Hikari felt the beginnings of total panic gnawing at her belly.

"And as we have met previously with no adverse reaction from you, I am left with only one possible explanation." Her prey wounded and blushing, Rei swooped in for the kill. "Seeing Ikari-san always makes you act… differently, doesn't it?"

"Well… I…" She trailed off, twisting her hands by her sides. _Stop it! Please,_ please _don't ask what I think you're going to ask._

"How does Ikari-san make you feel?"

"Wh… what? I…" The brunette broke off, coloring. She quickly averted her eyes. "Why on earth would you ask me that?"

"I would like to know," Rei replied, keeping her voice steady, showing nothing to her friend's sudden, furtive drop in volume.

"You… because you want to know?" Hikari shyly peeked up at her friend. "You really want to know, Rei?"

A slight, brief shot of guilt flashed through her. She knew manipulating Hikari's desire to be closer to her was wrong. Then again, this entire conversation could be considered wrong, from a certain point of view. Namely, anyone who ever heard it.

"Yes. I want to know." Rei allowed a patient silence to fall between them. She used the time to observe her friend carefully: her lip biting, her blush, her rapid blinks, her toes clenching in discomfort. It was mildly comical.

"Well…"

This was not Asuka, Hikari reminded herself. This was not someone who would possibly hold her confessions over her. This was not a cackling redhead who would tease her about that one dream she had that happened to involve Katsuragi-san's boyfriend, herself, and several hitherto unrealized uses for her house's surprisingly roomy bathtub. Besides, Rei was the last person in the world who would interpret her feelings like that, right? And they were friends, right?

"Okay," she finally said. She took a breath for strength. "Okay." Her resolve suddenly faltered. "But… you won't… I mean, you wouldn't tell anyone else, right?"

"Of course."

"Good. Okay." Hikari pushed her palms down on her knees, the force making her body still. "Well, Ikari-san is… you swear you won't tell anyone? If Katsuragi-san found out or—"

"I promise."

The brunette sighed, trying to relax. Her eyes focused on a nondescript point on Rei's closet door.

"I don't really meet a lot of… guys. School and my representative duties keep me pretty busy, and my sisters and my dad need help, too, so… well, I mean I do know a few guys, from school and clubs and around the neighborhood, but… they're… they never really _see_ me. Everybody treats me like… you know, a class rep. I'm… 'little miss bossy' the guys call me. They're mean, or they ignore me, or they don't even notice that… that I'm a girl, too. But Ikari-san…"

She struggled to find the right words for her emotions.

"I just… I mean, he's so… polite, and quiet, and nice and never rude or vulgar and he's…" Her voice dropped to a nearly inaudible squeak. "He's really handsome."

_That again,_ Rei mentally groaned. Hikari went on.

"I can kind of pretend I'm someone else with him. And it's… it's sort of fun, you know? He doesn't know that I'm class rep or that I'm a lousy swimmer, or about that time in second grade when I threw up in art class. I know I'm making too much out of it, but… I can pretend to just be Hikari."

Rei began to genuinely feel bad. She had hoped for a quick outside resource to compare herself to, and now she was receiving a torrent of very personal emotions she never knew the brunette had. With her intelligence, her intellectual disconnect, it was surprisingly easy to forget other people could house deep insights and identity issues.

"But he kind of seems a little sad," Hikari was saying. "And he sort of… it sounds dumb but I feel kind of happy… when I think about him. And…" She sounded like she pulling teeth. "I think it would be nice to see him happy. Like, be happy… together."

Hikari covered her face, mortified. The fact that the object of her affections lay a scant few yards beyond the flimsy door of Rei's room wasn't helping matters any. Her embarrassment finally overshadowed her need to confess, and she kept her mouth shut, waiting for Rei to laugh, to tattle, to sigh, to do something. Anything.

"No. You misunderstood me. I meant I wish to know how he makes you feel, physically."

Anything but that.

"What!" Hikari stared at her. She gaped a moment, then gave voice to the most obvious question she had. "Why?"

_Because I have been dreaming lately and—_

Rei shook her head. No need to drag the truth into this.

"Curiosity," the pale girl said, almost proud at how truthful her half-lie sounded.

Hikari gaped still, and continued to for some time. Her throat made a strange croaking noise which may have been the beginnings of an answer of some fashion, but she snapped her mouth shut and her teeth connected with an audible click. She was on the verge of possibly considering thinking about responding, and after a sustained moment of supreme effort, took a breath to speak.

Further exploration on the subject was cut short when a shrill cry sounded from the kitchen.

* * *

"Mi-Misato-san, stop," Shinji pleaded, trying to dislodge her wandering hands from their current location, a place they were quite well acquainted with by now. "We're not alone and—" 

She gave him a sloppy kiss.

"Ah, come one," she drawled. "What I have in mind won't take too long." She laughed softly, but it held a subtle waver. She aimed for another kiss and found his nose. "Oops. Tee hee. Sorry, Shin-chan."

He drew back. Her breath was heavy with liquor and cigarettes. Shinji frowned. Since when did she smoke?

"Cut it out," he whispered, attempting a secretive, playful tone. He failed. "S-stop."

"Stop? Is that any way to talk to your Misato-sama?" she asked, her words slightly slurred. "I want to give you a little treat, since you're always making me dinner and stuff." She ran her tongue down his neck. She drew back frowning, as her hands made yet another unsuccessful attempt to liberate his pants from his body. Or at the very least, her favorite appendage.

"Really, stop," he said, prying her hands away. He caught a flash of anger from her eyes and tried to backpedal. "I mean, ah, dinner will burn if I don't keep a close watch." He gestured vaguely to the stove and the two steaming woks. He backed away from her. "You, ah, look pretty tired anyway. Why don't you—"

"God!" Misato yelled in a fury. "What the hell? I swear, you're the only guy in the whole fucking world that hates when I suck their—"

Shinji clamped a hand over her mouth and spun her around. She slowly removed the shaking muzzle, and cleared her throat.

"Oh, hey, Rei. Hikari. Didn't see you guys there." She gave the two teenagers a wave.

Hikari, her entire face, ears, and neck beet red, was torn between the simultaneous impulses to run away and drop dead. Her eyes, however, refuted both desires by forcing her to stay riveted to her spot: the sight of Ikari Shinji hastily refastening his trousers proved too tempting to miss. She licked her lips unconsciously.

Rei merely frowned at her guardian.

"You are intoxicated," she spat out.

"I'm also hungry and horny. But it seems Shin-chan can only deal with one of my needs at a time." Misato glared at her boyfriend, who had by now turned his full attention back to the preparation of the meal. After another, strained moment, she turned from him and snorted. She focused on the two girls. "It's pretty late. You might as well stay for dinner." She spoke like neither teen lived with her.

"I, ah, I don't know—"

"I insist," she said without much insistence.

So they stayed. It was an amazingly uncomfortable ten minutes until the meal was ready, culminating in Misato casually asking the two teens if they were still maidens of virtue pure.

"I'm just saying you shouldn't hold on to any old fashioned morality nonsense. You're young. Make the most of it. And don't worry; it gets better after the first couple of times."

"Misato-san," Shinji warned in a dangerous tone. He served the three at the table and sat beside his girlfriend. He murmured a quick prayer and began to eat, his quiet exhaustion with the situation serving to compel the others to dine as well.

Though the food placed before her was the best looking cuisine she'd seen in some time, Hikari was unable to focus on it. Even picking up her chop sticks was proving to be a monumental task. Surprisingly, it wasn't the veiled question about her virginity that caused such turmoil within her.

_Misato-_sama? she screamed in her mind. _Sama! That's so… so…_ She broke off, biting her lip. She glanced to the tipsy Misato, then to the quietly stewing Shinji. She had no control over the color that rose in her cheeks. _Misato-sama… sama… sama… Hikari… sama… Hikari-sama…_

And suddenly, Hikari's mind was someplace else entirely.

"Ikari-san," Rei said, frowning even more as she noticed her friend's glazed look. She needed something, anything to talk about. "What are you working on right now?"

"Just some stupid game," he muttered.

Misato laughed in mock sympathy.

"Aw, don't pay any attention to him. He's just grumpy 'cause his job sucks. I think he should quit. Find something else, you know? My dad always told me to find an occupation that I like and was good at. We just need to think of what you're good at and enjoy." Misato closed one eye, tapping a finger against her lower lip. "Hmm… well, you're pretty good at fucking me. If only we could market that somehow…"

The only sound that followed her pondering was a gentle crash of cutlery as Hikari lost any semblance of motor coordination and dropped her chopsticks. Everyone else was silent, though the lavender haired woman's face was still screwed into a look of intense concentration.

"Maybe some amateur stuff," she went on. "I know this one web site where—"

Shinji stood, his face strangely devoid of all emotion. He hauled Misato up by an arm and pulled her away from the table.

"Alright!" she said. "About time! Rei-chan, be a dear and clean up dinner, okay? We'll be awhile." She began to take her shirt off. The grin was still plastered to her face, even when Shinji flung her into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind them.

At the table, Rei gently massaged her temples, letting her eyes rest. Hikari struggled to stay conscious.

A moment later Shinji emerged from Misato's room, and without another word left the apartment.

Despite the front door's reliance on automatic hydraulic pumps to open and close, the usual soft hiss of the portal's locking mechanism seemed obscenely loud and angry. Soon that even dissolved into a dull, dead silence which blanketed the apartment, only to be promptly shattered by Misato's stereo belching out an obnoxious rock song with screaming vocals. Rei recognized the tune as her guardian's usual "Saturday night" song.

At the table, as the meal cooled and went unconsumed, the two girls kept their mouths shut tight, but for very different reasons. Hikari fidgeted a moment more, then broke the impasse.

"Asuka is going to _hate_ that she missed this."

* * *

Knock, knock. 

"Rei, are you awake? Can we talk?"

There had been, for a brief, sweet moment when she first turned in, the belief that she might be able, for once, to have an uninterrupted night's sleep for a change. But as the solid knocks on her door became soft pounds, Rei abandoned the idea of ever achieving the recommended eight hours rest she so sorely needed.

_Just pretend you're asleep,_ the albino thought as she dragged a pillow over her head. _Pretend you don't hear her and she'll go away._

Knock, knock, knock. Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock—

"_Okay,_" Rei said in a tone as close to a shout as she would condone. "I am awake."

Her door slid open a crack.

"Dr. Ayanami, I think I messed up again."

"That is obvious."

Misato, as if participating in some tacky spy movie, drew the door back just enough to wedge her body inside, then quickly closed it behind her. Rei knew better than to question her behavior during her hangovers and personal crises. Actually, those two seemed to always be connected somehow.

Misato flopped down on the floor in the dark, leaning heavily against Rei's bed. Though it was dark, the girl could faintly make out the curve of her shoulders and the downward tilt of her head. Her guardian sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said after a lengthy pause. The apology sounded brittle, like she was about to categorically repent for every sin she ever committed in her life, real or imagined. "I… I got a call from your school earlier. You busted your leg or something?"

"It is merely a sprain."

"Oh. Good. I mean good that it isn't serious." She sighed through her nose, and ran a hand along her arm. "When I got the call I figured I could skip out early, you know? Take care of my little Rei. When we're not conducting field ops my presence is pretty much a courtesy anyways. So I was on my way out and…"

The woman paused and her charge imagined any number of possible scenarios that might lead to the evening's fiasco. She did not anticipate what actually happened though.

"I saw my father today," Misato said without any more preface. With her back turned, she did not see Rei's quiet shock. "The higher-ups must have asked him to stop by. I don't know the reason." _But I'm sure everyone else does._

"What did he say?" Rei asked after a moment passed.

"Nothing. I doubt he even knew I was there. I saw him in one of the labs, just for a second, and… and well, I sort of took off. I just didn't want to deal with it. He looked pretty busy, like he'd been there awhile… and no one even bothered to tell me. And I just… it was such a huge shock, seeing him like that after so long, without any letters, or calls, or anything…"

She stopped to run a hand over her face. Rei simply stared at the back of her head.

"I went to a bar," Misato said, sounding utterly defeated. "And I drank so I could get drunk." She laughed a little after silence met her admission. Of course Rei wasn't surprised. Of course that was exactly what she expected of her guardian.

Misato gracefully kept the rest of the story to herself. No need to trouble her charge with the whole truth. No need to disclose the fact she "conveniently" ran into Kaji. No need to audibly recall how they somehow wound up the restroom together. No need to spend any more time thinking about how she needed to order two more beers to get his taste out of her mouth.

"I see," the girl breathed.

"Why does life have to be such a fucking drama all the time?"

"If I knew, I would tell you." Rei paused, debating the wisdom of saying more. In the end, the fact that her sleep had yet again been interrupted drove her on. "However, purposefully getting intoxicated and manhandling your boyfriend in front of an audience certainly does not lessen the drama any."

Misato was quiet for a time in the dark.

"That… that hurt, Rei."

The girl sighed. She couldn't discern from her tone if she was angry or angling for sympathy. She moved on.

"He was quite upset, you know."

"… I'll bet. God… an audience. You and… who else? Hikari, right?"

"Yes."

"Shit. Wait. Was Asuka there too?"

"How much did you drink?" Rei asked, shaking her head. "No, Soryu was not there, thankfully."

"Well, that's something, at least." The woman tenderly cupped a hand to her head. "God I have such a headache."

They waited in the dark. The clock changed hours.

"Are you not worried about him?" the pale girl finally asked, wanting to end this conversation and sleep.

"Of course I'm worried but…" She sighed, and Rei could easily imagine a helpless smile on her face. "But it isn't like he's going to run away. I mean, his cello is still over here." She laughed, and it was entirely without humor. "I think… I think he should be angry with me for awhile. I deserve some punishment for this."

Rei made a noncommittal humming sound.

"Because I know he'll forgive me when I ask for it. And… and he really shouldn't. Not after this. I did something really, really… really awful." Misato curled her legs up and hugged them, resting her forehead on her knees. "This sucks so much."

Rei opened her mouth to speak and her guardian cut her off.

"He's such a God damn saint," she snapped. "And it makes me feel like I'm always breaking some religious code only he knows about. He's playing a game and I don't know the rules. I knew, I _knew_ this would be hard when we first started, but… damn it. I'm just… not cut out to be serious all the time. I need to cut loose sometimes. I can't deal with life's shit like him. I can't bottle it all up, or cut myself off, or sulk…"

"You seem to be sulking right now."

Misato fell silent, and for a time all that could be heard were the near inaudible sounds of breathing in the room. Outside the obnoxious screech of wheels on asphalt brutally tore apart the night. Inside the apartment a long, long sigh trailed through the air.

"He's not like me," Misato finally said, almost pouting.

Rei disputed that. It was fairly clear to her that Shinji did have a playful, joking side. It was merely buried under layers… and layers… of self-conscious guilt and shame. The man just needed to lighten up. Fueled by his behavior earlier that day, Rei tried to imagine Shinji dealing with his own problems in a manner more befitting Misato. Perhaps he should get drunk and stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks. The concept of the young man speaking what he truly thought was a subtly intriguing notion to the girl.

"Do you want him to get angry at you?"

"He doesn't get angry like me! He doesn't bitch or swear or scream!"

Rei would have debated the screaming part.

"He doesn't even _get_ angry!" Misato went on. "He's…" She sighed, sounding beaten. "He's like you."

The pale girl's mind immediately responded to that idea with a resounding "bullshit." Following that thought, practically on top of it, was the fact, at least in Rei's mind, that she did indeed get angry. Granted, she expressed it in a nonverbal, death glare, leave me the hell alone or I'll eviscerate you kind of way, but it was still there. And recalling Shinji's abrupt departure earlier that evening, she was sure he got angry as well. Rei sighed. His was a nonverbal way as well.

_I'm too tired for this._

"I think," she said, "that he was angrier than you think."

Misato was silent.

"I also think," Rei said slowly, "that I am not the one you should be telling this to."

* * *

It was one seventeen in the morning, exactly, when Rei's cell phone rang. The nearly unstoppable desire to hurl the device out the window, the accumulation of months of restless nights, was quelled only when her logical mind determined exactly who was calling her. She groped blindly for her nightstand and flipped the phone on before it reached its third ring. 

_Am I cursed to never have another full night's rest again?_

"What is it, Misato?"

There was a delay before she got an answer.

"_Rei? It's me. I'm know it's late but… oh, geez it is late… uh, sorry but I just wanted to tell you I'm staying over at Shinji's tonight, okay? We… we have a lot to talk about."_

This was no euphemism, no excuse to spare her the blatant embarrassment of trying to conceal her sexual transgressions. When Misato said "to talk" this time, she meant just that.

"I expected as much. May I sleep now?"

"_Don't get huffy. I didn't want you to worry."_ She paused, and then the muted shuffling of a hand covering the receiver filled the line. _"Hang on a second, Rei."_ Another pause, then a crinkle of electronic static.

"_Ayanami?"_

Of course he'd want to say something.

"Yes, Ikari-san?" she responded patiently.

"… _thank you, Ayanami."_

She heard his smile over the phone.

Rei wasn't sure how long of a pause followed his words, how long the silence between them sat, how long before she forgot she was holding a telephone and he was not sitting there with her. Perhaps it was simply her over-taxed, exhausted mind but she felt the rest of the world fade to misty obscurity, drowning into a faint shadowy blur. His voice tickled something far back in the corner of her mind, and she envisioned rain, blue, scars.

She tried to make some sort of noise to acknowledge his gratitude or merely his existence, but she couldn't be sure if he heard, or if she even made it. She glanced to her clock, but the numbers fell on her eyes like foreign symbols, ancient runes without any discernable meaning. She felt angry with herself, with her inability to think clearly or even arrange her thoughts.

"_Goodnight, Ayanami."_

He hung up before she could think to reply.

Rei closed the phone, turning it off, and collapsed back into bed, her head sinking into the old smushy pillow she refused to replace. Staring at the blank grey of her ceiling she made an effort to sort out her emotions from the day. She quickly came to the conclusion she was too damn tired to do anything but shut her eyes. She hoped she could skip school again tomorrow.

_I am never going to get a proper night's rest again.

* * *

_

End of Chapter 12

Author notes: told you. Diet with a twist of lime. But length wise, this one just got away from me. Sorry. And apparently Shinji doesn't work anymore. And summer break was abolished in Japan. Whatever. And when did this turn into a parody fic? When I read WarpWizard's excellent advice. I'm trying hard not to give a shit about this story now. Dry spells still suck, though. And so do I. About Rei crying last time. I honestly felt I should leave it at that. Mostly, I don't want to explain it.

About Rei asking Hikari. I don't know. I just thought it was funny. I know most of you are thinking "Um… shouldn't she know about that stuff by now? Living with Misato, remember?" Yeah… like I said. Funny. To me. Hikari getting all flustered is so kawai. And I had to keep Asuka out of that scene. Sorry. I just… had to.

Usually, I don't like writing about sex that much… unless it's hardcore deviant shit like _Witness_ (is he joking?). I just wanted to clarify some points on Shinji and Misato's relationship. Basically, it isn't perfect, but it's close enough ("Love is not finding the perfect person, but seeing an imperfect person perfectly" --quote from someone I forgot). Speaking of imperfection, I know Shinji as a "berserker," even in this context, is nothing new. Just wanted to try my hand at it. Besides, repression can come out in a lot of interesting ways…

Again, please don't take this chapter as a knock to Misato. I like her a lot. I wanted some sort of conflict, and this just came to me. It might not be totally believable, but I think it worked out. And please don't take this as me believing Shinji can do no wrong. When things get too painful he runs away to escape it. In this fic he's already done it twice, with Mana and with Misato in chapter six.

A fond thank you to my reviewers (I broke 100!). I appreciate the vote of confidence and your understanding. Thanks. And my apologies. Last chapter when I said my muse was cheating on me, I meant it solely as a cheap joke. By "muse" I was referring to the small, irate pixie-like creature that visits me occasionally to kick the back of my head so ideas can fall onto my keyboard. I'm waiting for her to help me with the next chapter, which will be more of an interlude to bridge this with the (oft-cited) two-part conclusion. I want to move on to my next fic, an angsty post-EoE crap heap starring everyone's favorite spy. No, not that one. Or that one. Yeah, that one. I'd also like to subject you all to the depths of my waffy Rei/Shinji story. It gets uber-waffy. _And _my (gasp!) parody fic.

Big thanks to… um… let's see… running out of soundtracks here… ah, here we go. How about the _Big-O!_ cds? That track "Stoning" kicks all sorts of ass. And I ask all of you to listen to the theme song and not laugh. It's impossible, isn't it? Tomatoes!

OMAKE time

Rei: _Ikari-san… about this "sama" business…_

Shinji: _Um… well…_

Misato: _And what's wrong with it? A little fantasy can be a healthy, productive part of a loving couple's sex life and…_ (passes out)

Shinji (sighing): _You drugged her beer again, didn't you?_

Rei: _I do not wish her to witness your punishment._

Shinji: _But… I am sorry, Ayanami…_

Rei: _Ahem._

Shinji (sighing again): _… right… I'm sorry… Ayanami-sama…_


	13. Chapter 13

True Love Waits Chapter 13

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or Radiohead. But I'd like to believe I at least own the ideas I present in this story.

* * *

She dreamt of a world ruled by a purple ogre. It roared and ended her slumber. 

"Huh?"

An alarm was beeping, an incessant, annoying, rapid-fire electric stutter that tore through the soft, still quiet of the morning. Misato's arm flailed out, blindly searching for a way to silence her immortal, daily enemy. Or failing that, at least hit the snooze button. It was only when her hand dipped down, finding no resistance and nearly toppling her out of bed, that she remembered where she was.

The alarm stopped.

"Sorry," a soft voice told her.

She cracked an eye open and found herself in Shinji's bedroom. He was reclining beside her on his elbows, his eyes wide, and awake, and intently on her. She shifted subtly, reaffirming the clothing on her body, and the fact that nothing more than a strained "sleep tight" passed between them last night. What was so damn interesting, then?

"You set the alarm," she said with a sluggish grin. "Even though it was so late last night."

"We both have work today," Shinji said, still staring.

"Don't remind me." She blinked lazily. "What? What are you looking at?" She could tell he was trying not to blush.

"I just…" He broke off and sighed, almost like a defeat. Then he finally colored. "I just sometimes have to stop and realize how beautiful you are."

The clock changed numbers beside the bed. Lazy sunlight stretched across the ceiling from the cracks in the window blinds. Within the walls water moved in pipes. Someone a floor above them stepped on a creaky floorboard and it sounded like a wry cough. Misato stared at Shinji, remotely noting that in the tired moments of the morning, when his eyes were still sleepy and his hair was tussled and his mouth seemed to effortlessly curve up, it was the one time no one could ever look at him and hold a thought regarding his feminine looks. He was unmistakably male in these instances, but no less attractive.

And while it was far from the first time she had seen him in such a light, and while it was far from the first time he called her beautiful, it still made her smile and feel warm.

And laugh in his face.

"What?" Shinji asked, indignant. "What's so funny?"

"God, how can you always say stuff like that with a straight face?" She panted lightly, clutching her sides. She drew her legs up in a surprisingly vulnerable pose. She was unashamedly hoping he might attack her. "You're so corny first thing in the morning."

Shinji turned away with an annoyed snort, simultaneously killing Misato's hopes for some rough makeup sex and his own desire for maybe solving at least a few of their problems with a gentle lead-in. He kept his face turned to the side facing his door and stared at the hall to the bathroom, trying to think of a way to return to the topic.

He almost swore out loud when he felt Misato begin to kiss his neck.

_Not every problem can be seduced away,_ he thought with a disappointed sigh.

They were her usual kisses: the rough, hard, to-the-point embraces he expected from her. In this respect, Misato suffered from the same affliction Mana was liable to. They were both unable or unwilling to take their time with their kisses, lacking the wandering exploration Shinji liked. Of course he never said a thing, opting for the blind hope she'd someday pick up on his desires.

Not that he disliked the heavier aspects, he just felt a little more time spent with playful, gentle embraces could make the experience last longer and gain greater intimacy. But both women he had kissed in his life had one track minds in this respect: kissing led to sex. There was no way around it or through it. It followed a strict course and there was no deviating from the path.

"Misato…" he groaned.

While it wasn't the kind of groan she wanted, at least he was talking again.

"Yeah?" she drawled, taking the time to nip at the thin stretch of skin between his neck and shoulder.

"Don't."

She faltered at the abruptness of it, the exhaustion in his voice.

"What do you mean?" she asked, recovering admirably. "Why else did you set the alarm an hour early?"

"I wanted to give you enough time to go home and change."

"I can do that at work," Misato said. "I keep a spare in my office." She started nuzzling his jaw, nibbling her way up to his ear, where he was surprisingly sensitive. She captured his lobe with her front teeth and tugged gently. "Come on…"

He sat up with a single angry motion, still keeping his eyes from her. He couldn't face her, he couldn't bear to see the rejection he knew would be in her face.

"I said don't."

"Oh… okay," Misato said after a long silence.

A longer silence followed. Shinji sat rigid, unmoving. Misato wasted the time glancing between his back and the clock by the bed. She wished he was someone else, anyone else. She wished he would yell at her, call her names, make her beg forgiveness. Then they could go back to where they were and be happy again.

"I'm sorry." She didn't know how else to make him see that. "I really am. You… you know that, right?"

Shinji ran a hand through his hair. His other was an unrepentant ball of knuckles and angry pain at his side.

"I don't…" He broke off with a sigh. "I don't want you to feel like I'm, I don't know, punishing you or anything. I just…"

"Then let me prove it," she said gently, turning him halfway around. "Let me prove how sorry I am."

Misato made to kiss him, not fast enough to deprive him of choice, but not slow enough to allow him to back out. She tried her best to let her emotions flow through the connection. And she felt him sigh. His lips were hard and immobile under hers. He pushed her away lightly after a moment, but kept his eyes from hers. Misato began to blink very quickly, feeling humiliated and ashamed.

"I…" She bit her lower lip. "Do you still love me?"

"Yes," Shinji said softly. He hated himself for asking what he did. "Do you still love me?"

There was a pause.

"Of course." She sat up properly, kneeling behind him. "Of course I do. I—"

"Then why?"

Misato winced. His tone wasn't angry or even confused. He sounded like it was his fault. He sounded like he was questioning his executioner.

She instantly thought of a dozen excuses, self-deprecating rationales, and more than a few angry accusations at Kaji. But she knew none of them would bring about any actual resolution. Nothing she could use for an answer would satisfy the actual problem. What did he want her to say? What would lead them back to yesterday? What was she supposed to do?

The question that kept gnawing the back of her mind bit down.

_Why isn't he angry at me?_

"I don't know what you want me to say," Misato told him. "I don't know why. I don't know why I went to a bar instead of coming home to you. I don't know why I felt like I was alone in the world. I don't know why seeing that man again made me act like a child… and I don't know why you're pretending like you're not ready to hit me."

Shinji visibly cringed.

"Or at the very least scream at me until you're blue in the face," Misato went on. She sighed. "Shinji, I am sorry. I am sorrier than you could ever know. Because I finally found someone who accepts me for who I am, beer, neuroses, and sexual hang-ups included, and I can't for the life of me manage to just enjoy what I have."

Shinji did not speak.

"And I hate myself for it because you don't deserve it… but Shinji I cannot do this alone. I need help. I need you to not be my safety net. I love you more than anything and I don't want to screw this up but I… I can't hope to be completely honest with you unless you are too."

Shinji still did not speak.

"I love you. But I need to know you're not going to shut me out, or let me off the hook, or ignore the situation when one of us fucks up… okay, when _I_ fuck up, but I have to know that if we're going to make this work we make sure we put everything we have into it. You have to tell me when I do something to piss you off."

Misato sighed when silence met her plea. Maybe hitting him with all this at once wasn't such a good idea.

"I'm… I'm trying too, you know," Shinji said quietly. His voice shook like a falling leaf. "It isn't like I'm not trying."

"I… I know…" _Yeah. Definitely not a good idea._

They both knew it, but no more words were spoken until Shinji sighed like an old man.

"… but, well… you did really fuck up here you know."

Misato bit her tongue. Granted, it was the first time he swore in front of her, and the completely unnatural way it fell out of his mouth was uproariously funny to her, but she knew laughing would kill the mood.

"I know… but… I need you to tell me what I have to do. I could do everything I could think of but none of it would matter if I didn't know it was what you wanted. I… I know it's crappy but I need this. I have to ask you for it."

She asked, and she held her breath.

"You know what I need?" Shinji asked softly. He waited until she didn't answer. "Misato…" No honorific, no humbling inflection. "I need you. Not just the tough-as-nails captain, or the fun best friend, or my idealized vision. I need all of you. And… and if this is a part of you too then I'll accept it."

He cut her off at the first breath.

"And I am angry. I'm furious. I'll accept what you did but I don't know if I'll ever understand it. It'll take me a long time to forgive you." He shook his head. "I am angry at you. Angrier than I've been since…"

He broke off with a frown.

"I love you," he told her. "And I will continue to love you no matter how hard you make it for me." He paused to debate his next words. "But don't press your luck. I'm pretty adept at loving someone who isn't there, only… I don't want to do that anymore. But right now… it's what I need."

He turned to face her. He looked drained.

"I need to get ready for work," he told her.

"Oh! R-right. Right." Misato followed him out of the bedroom. "I guess I'll just—" _Give him his space._ "I'll…"

"I'll call you in… I don't know. I…"

"It's okay," she said. "Don't worry about it." She went to the front door and let her hand fall on the handle. She felt incredibly awkward. This ambiguity, this unknowing, it was driving her crazy already. Why couldn't he just deal in absolutes like everybody else? She sighed and put on a wan smile. "Take care, okay?" _God that sounded so pathetic._

"I try."

The door opened. As if by its own will. Misato glanced at her hand like it rebelled against her. She looked back to Shinji, alone, and small, and tired in his living room. He couldn't even manage to smile for her benefit. She didn't want to leave him like this, but she could not defy his wishes. She wondered if he felt like a part of his insides had just died too.

"Goodbye, Shinji."

"Goodbye, Misato."

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 13

* * *

"I can't believe I missed that!" Asuka wailed, pressing her arms tightly against her chest. 

Rei sighed. Hikari offered a nervous, long-suffering laugh.

"But, Asuka, well…"

"It was a week ago," Rei said. It was not the first time she had told her this, nor would it be the last.

To be precise it was six days ago since Shinji and Misato's little spat, and five days since Hikari had spilled the beans to the redhead. And four since Rei deigned to forgive the class rep for her amazing lack of common sense. There were simply things one didn't tell Ms. Soryu.

"I don't care!" Asuka growled. "Damn my delicate constitution. If I wasn't so prone to hardship and suffering I could have made my move on Ikari-san. Just imagine: me pursuing him on a dark, rainy street, his heart crying out for compassion and understanding. I'd catch him under a solitary street lamp and he'd pour his heart to me. Then I'd—"

_Where does she come up with this nonsense?_ the albino thought.

Despite the facts that it had not been raining that day, and that if anyone was foolish to cross Shinji's path he probably would have torn their arms off, Rei kept her mouth shut. She knew better than to intrude into Asuka's imaginative happy time.

The day was done, and any meaningful pursuit of bettering themselves could thankfully be put off till tomorrow. The trio passed the gates of the middle school, storming through the throng of other students as they started back to their respective homes. Asuka's vocal mood for the past week had stopped any number of potential confessions, dates, party invitations and general pleasantness from the rest of the academic population. Surprisingly, Rei found herself wishing Asuka would be this pissed off more often.

"Ah, but you know," Hikari cut in gracefully as the redhead's monologue drifted into the R rated realm, "stuff like that doesn't really happen. Life isn't like a romance movie."

That was to be sure. Despite her crush, Hikari rested soundly at night believing adult relationships, Ikari's in particular, were founded on the idyllic bases of maturity and mutual affection. A lot of dreams died in the wake of Misato's last bender.

"Excuse me? Is this the same Ms. Horaki that always drags me along to those dumb flowery double features? And let us not forget what I found you writing about during last week's study hall." Asuka smirked as the brunette blushed into silence. "Thought so."

"But… still…" Hikari pressed in a small squeak.

"But nothing. I was waylaid by a dumb cold, you were too chicken, and lord knows blue over here will never do anything. My poor Ikari-san is trapped by that harlot Katsuragi."

_If I kill her now, _the pale girl thought,_ Horaki will be the only witness. _

"I knew she couldn't keep him," the redhead spat, waving any more protests off.

Rei frowned.

"I don't think it would have mattered if you were there anyway," Hikari said in what she couldn't help but think was uncharacteristically brave. Or suicidal. "I mean, Ikari-san looked sort of… angry, you know? I think he wanted to be alone."

"Says the girl with so much experience with men," Asuka snapped. "Listen. I've had to put up with enough pathetically delusional boys to have some _actual_ insight. Ikari-san was hurt, and angry and most importantly he was _vulnerable_. How could you pass up such an opportunity?"

"To do what?" Hikari asked. Honestly, the thought of her polite and thoughtful Ikari getting mad was a little scary. She stopped abruptly to blush. _My Ikari? What am I thinking?_

Asuka rolled her eyes.

"What do you think? I would've finally been able to let him see me."

Hikari, in typical fashion following her previous line of thought, blushed. Asuka, in typical fashion following her increasingly scatter-brained friend's lapses in common sense, scowled.

"Not like that, weirdo. Well, probably not. But that's not the _point._" Asuka gritted her teeth. "Damn it! It isn't fair! You got to see Ikari-san full of passion! Ayanami has all the luck!"

"Hey," Hikari said, glancing around in confusion. "Where _is_ Rei?"

She was several blocks away, deciding several minutes ago on a slightly more circuitous route to home in order to avoid any more idiocy. Sadly, Rei had never been particularly successful in her attempts to evade it.

Thus it was without any genuine surprise she saw Shinji briskly walking on a street, undoubtedly heading towards the school with the intent of seeing her home. Cosmic irony always felt like a punch in the gut.

"Wonderful," Rei muttered. Or growled, if anyone was close enough to actually hear it. She turned around, hoping he hadn't caught sight of her accursedly lurid blue hair yet.

Which of course meant that he did.

"Ayanami!" he called after her, running to catch up. "I thought I missed you."

Rei discreetly massaged the bridge of her nose.

_Why must my life exist as a poorly scripted soap opera?_

"It has been awhile," the pale girl stated. She refrained from the derogatory remark on the tip of her tongue, something along the lines of 'trouble in paradise?' Then she pondered why she stopped herself. Somehow, the idea of her guardian ceasing to see him seemed ridiculous. She shrugged it off. "Still having troubles with Misato?"

Shinji looked away in slight amazement of her continual bluntness. His mouth opened, then closed.

"We've decided to… slow down a bit. Catch our breath." He glanced at her and was pleasantly surprised with her raised eyebrows.

"Slow down?" she repeated. Rei had heard that often enough to know it was merely a precursor to the formal termination of a relationship. But despite the weight she felt she gave her words, her companion smiled lightly.

"We're not going to break up or anything, I swear. I wouldn't allow it. I love her too much." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. His head tilted forward, more words ready to come out, but he stopped. Shinji shook whatever it was off and went on. "We just have some things to work through."

Rei was not surprised by that. Yes, there were definitely things to work through. Strangely, she was not irritated by his lack of expanding on what said things were, but accepted it as part of the vast, shadowy conspiracy adults held over children regarding their connections. And to be completely honest, it was really none of her business.

"She says I'm too passive," Shinji stated. Rei's head whipped up to him, outraged he dared to break her rule. He missed it completely. "So… I'm going to try and be… well, not aggressive, but… more open." He stopped to blush again. "Actually, that's why I'm here. I don't really know if you like surprises or not, but… heh, I hope you don't hate me for testing this all out on you a little."

"I do not hate you," she said, her voice somewhere between indignation and exhaustion. Sometimes it was hard to tell with her.

"I'm glad." He paused, waiting for some invisible signal. "Just… it's stupid but I hope you can… kind of see this as a thank you."

"For what?"

Shinji just smiled.

_Was he always this infuriating?_ Rei wondered. Yet again she wondered how on earth her life had arrived at this point. Was this punishment for some previous existence of unimaginable sin? Was she the reincarnation of Stalin? That almost seemed poetic: trapped in a teenage girl's body with the most liberal of guardians. And conversing with what appeared to be the most obscure definition of a man she had ever come across.

She tried to imagine exactly why he was staying with Misato. Despite his unmistakable membership to the male species, Shinji never struck her as being particularly obsessed with sex. Or he just hid it well. Whichever the case, it ruined her original thesis on the underlying foundation of the relationship, namely, the mutual sating of hormones. Any other reason was originally unthinkable for the girl. So, the actual explanation must be somewhere else, perhaps in the hazy, slightly ludicrous concept of genuine emotional love. As poorly as she understood it, it was the only option left for Rei to clarify things. And as far as she was concerned, both adults in her life seemed to embrace this idea wholeheartedly, which meant that she too would have to accept it at some point.

Despite her intelligence and maturity, she was still a teenager. Any real thoughts of the future eluded her. The here and now were her whole reality. It was not living in the moment, the advice her guardian had given her so many times, but a sense of stasis, of being static, immobile. That nothing would ever change. Despite the fact that so much had changed for her recently. An adult teenager's mind is a wonderfully contradicting place.

So for her the moment Shinji swore he wouldn't break up with her guardian, Rei took it to heart, so to speak. It wasn't any sentimentality for the gesture, nor was it a sense of idealized romance. It was the reality of the here and now, and for her, the unshakable reality of tomorrow as well. The two of them were together and that would not change, apparently no matter what either of them did. Rei tried to wonder if that was a good thing or not. Rei wondered if he had truly forgiven Misato.

She wondered exactly how forgiving a human being Ikari Shinji really was. Looking at him now she found it hard to believe he was any different than the faceless droves passing her in the streets. But she knew he was not.

Did he forgive his father for killing his mother, and then playing God with her remains? Did he forgive the man for nearly killing him as well? Did he forgive Kirishima Mana for deceiving him for seven years before tearing out his heart? Did he forgive Misato for being a party to that? Why wasn't he a bitter, miserable, ruined man?

Rei was the first person to admit her life had its fair share of emotionally crippling horrors. But she couldn't imagine living day to day after something as atrocious as Shinji's life. She couldn't imagine herself pretending to be content and satisfied with a dead-end job, stunted maturity and a painful love life. Rei couldn't dream what was so appealing about humanity that someone like Shinji would continually come crawling back for more punishment. From the government, from Misato, from herself, from God… was the alternative truly so unimaginable for him?

For a long time the thought had been itching at the back of her mind. A tiny, nagging prick at the edge of her consciousness. That day she discovered his past, the day she found out he was lucky to be alive let alone sane, the idea had finally clicked for her. She and Ikari Shinji were intrinsically different people.

It wasn't that she considered him a kindred spirit any time before that, but the reality of the truth was disheartening. She was different from him, on a fundamental level. She was different from Misato, too. From Asuka, Hikari, Dr. Akagi, Maya, her teachers, her peers, the rest of humanity. Human beings were doomed to live their lives alone without any contact other than superficial, transitory distractions and momentary pleasures. They were doomed to be apart, the walls of their hearts never touching, their spirits forever locked away within their flesh until the empty void of death finally freed them of the slow solitary madness of living. There was no greater understanding through love, there was no soulful epiphany to be found from other people. There were only delusions and fantasies and pathetic dreams. All humans were fundamentally alone.

And it made her sad. What was the point, then? Why did people trick themselves into staying alive? Did they honestly believe that it all meant something? That this life was meaningful and beautiful and worth living? Why did they keep trying? Why did she?

Why didn't she just take Misato's gun and end her misery? Why didn't she swallow everything she could find in the medicine cabinet? Why didn't she simply leap out in front of the next speeding car and finally bid farewell to this mortal coil?

"Hold on!"

Rei's step was halted by a hand on her shoulder. She instantly bristled, feeling a well of fury bubble up that she didn't know she had. Her head whipped back to scowl at whoever was fool enough to touch her. She had learned over the years that red eyes and facial impartiality worked wonders to keep people away.

Well, most people. Most normal, quick-witted, bright people. Rei begrudgingly admitted that Shinji was, sadly enough, not one of them.

"You almost walked into the intersection," he said, a mix of anger and concern. "Be careful."

For someone as traditionally terrified of physical contact as he was, Shinji surprisingly kept his hand on the girl's shoulder. Well, not so much surprising as it was rash and unwise and poorly thought out. Rei gave his errant limb a flaying glare and an impatient, nearly inaudible groan from her throat.

Seeing her face, and feeling the temperature drop a few degrees, Shinji retracted his hand, holding it up like a talisman to ward off evil.

"Ah, um, sorry. But, ah, you were… you didn't look like you were slowing down." He tried to shrink away. "Sorry."

Shinji backed off as her face did not alter in any perceivable way. He was never good at reading people anyway. Hell, he was never good at basic human interaction. He supposed it was largely in part due to his innate fear regarding others. He just couldn't anticipate what they would say or do. It left him perpetually on edge and nervous. Shinji had become, over the years, fairly adept at reacting to the situation, of playing it by ear, but the terror never let go. What if he offended someone? What if they left him alone? What if they found out how boring and pathetic and worthless he really was? It was like he was afraid of living.

Well, he perpetually reasoned, better to be a well-trodden door mat than a solitary pristine one. He glanced at the albino's continued irritation.

_Right?_

_Why did he have to… touch me again?_ Rei huffed in her mind. Who cared if he may have just saved her life. It didn't require he touch her, did it? And God damn it if her stupid shoulder didn't stop tingling she was going to physically injure someone.

For not the first or last time, Rei cursed Misato. Specifically, her style of parenting. While Rei was without question intellectually gifted and mature, and while her caretaker afforded certain invaluable life lessons, Misato herself was oddly quiet on particular subjects. Oh, to be sure, she freely offered dating advice and insight into some of the lesser known and less desirable aspects of men, but the actual crux of the matter, of details and fine points was conspicuously absent from any speech. Her total knowledge on the subject lay somewhere between her friends, dry text, the media, and Misato's voracious yet private appetites.

Technically speaking, Rei knew about sex, about the physical proximity required for the act. While it was something she never personally saw herself participating in, she could nearly grasp why others would want to. And not just for the promised release of climax that seemed to be the sole draw for many, but rather for the sense of closeness to another human being. But the level of vulnerability needed left her feeling dizzy. Not the good kind of dizzy Asuka and Misato spoke of so often, but the kind where she was afraid she'd pass out or vomit.

Physicality was never part of her life. Even her parents, before their deaths, were never really the hug and kiss types. And while her current guardian was anything but celibate, her bodily affections were reserved for her lovers. As grabby as the woman was with Shinji, there was always an unspoken physical detachment between her and Rei. As if the exchange of bodily fluids was needed for any kind of material display.

She knew love was not required. Living with Misato for so long, she knew it could actually be a hindrance. But Rei had difficulty connecting the emotional to the physical. Normally, when someone touched her, for example Hikari's over enthusiasm for friendship or the corporeal horrors of gym class, it registered as nothing butpressure and warmth. Nothing more. To be sure it was uncomfortable, but it never evolved into anything beyond that.

And now here was Shinji, someone she was beginning to possibly think about considering being more than merely tolerable, and he had to keep touching her. Why couldn't it have been someone else to halt her step into the blur of traffic? Why not that frazzled mother of two behind her, or even that weighted man with the dirty stubble? Anyone else. Anyone else and she wouldn't be so affected. Anyone else and she'd be able to shrug it off like she always did.

Anyone else whose absence or death wouldn't matter to her.

"… fuck," Rei muttered, stealing Misato's favorite "better off not knowing" epiphany summation.

"Excuse me?" Shinji choked out.

"I said 'truck.'" Said vehicle sped by at the best possible moment.

"… oh."

Rei sighed. And she'd been doing so well not thinking about him these past few days. Taking care to purposefully not ponder what things would be like if she never saw him again. Even throughout all her friends' talk of the man she could tune it out as she usually did, since it was all ridiculous fallacy. And Misato had been thankfully silent on the whole situation, leaving her home life in the blissful nothingness she was used to.

She had almost been able to forget how tolerable his company was, how genuinely interested he seemed to be with her, how his killing her solitude was not always annoying, and how pleasant their walks could be. Which made her wonder:

_Why is he still following me?_

"You are going to Misato's apartment?" Rei asked, just now realizing his intent.

"Well, yeah." He knew it was the first time in nearly a week, and that Misato would not know, but it was for the noble cause of overcoming his passivity. "I thought it might be nice if she came home to a warm meal. Do you mind?"

And abruptly all of Rei's arguments about his not accompanying her further died. Far too many meals had passed her by without his culinary skills. She resisted the unfamiliar urge to drool.

"She would appreciate it," the pale girl admitted in a kind of mumble.

"Only her?" Shinji asked, taking a risk. A large one.

"Perhaps you should not change too much."

He laughed. Without any hint of restraint. The first time she had ever heard it. It was surprisingly deep for his voice, but a little scratchy, like it was brittle with disuse. Rei continued walking but her feet did not feel several steps.

"Maybe you're right," he said. He smiled to himself.

They reached the apartment without any further discussion. Rei wasn't quite sure if it was due to the fear of offending her further, or an odd corollary to his new attitude. She realized it didn't matter either way.

Without any command or even a veiled glance, Shinji began to collect the various scraps of paper, dirty dishes, magazines, beer cans, laundry and text books that lay scattered across the apartment floor. He sorted them, cleaned them, put them away, whatever was needed to fulfill his unforgiving sanitary conscience. He worked without words, without any real thought. Like it was expected of him. As if where others politely offered to assist their host in some menial preparatory task, he simply did it himself.

Rei silently watched his movements, albeit with a mental roll of her eyes.

_I suppose he has not changed that much._

She was unreasonably pleased by the thought.

She watched him, and he cleaned, and the hour drifted away. He was elbow deep in the dishes from last night's "casserole" when the front door rang, rudely shattering the pleasant silence they were beginning to savor.

"Who on earth could that be?" Shinji wondered aloud. He looked to Rei, and finding only bored indifference, decided to answer the call himself.

In a moment of amazing precognitive clarity Rei knew who was at the door. She groaned audibly.

She was not surprised when she heard Shinji greet Hikari and Asuka.

Nor was she surprised by the pit of tired antipathy that settled in her stomach.

* * *

Despite her lack of what some might call "book smarts," Misato was adept at expressing her feelings and emotions in most situations. While she might not possess the most expansive vocabulary in the world she had a keen ability to sum up circumstances with earthy, easy to understand words and phrases that both put others at ease and aided her climb through the military. At the moment she effortlessly called upon the skill to encapsulate the various physiological and emotional triggers seeing the man walking towards her in the hall to the JSSDF lab wing produced. 

_Aw, fuck. _

For his part, Kaji seemed oblivious to the captain's discomfort, and continued down the corridor, lost in whatever file he had his nose in. Though he probably would have shared her sentiment at the moment.

Seeing the scruffy man miss the only turnoff between their relative positions, Misato mentally steeled herself for the inevitable confrontation. She also subtly readied her limber muscles. Just in case.

As she adjusted her stride to an unmistakably combative posture he finally spotted her. Misato begrudgingly gave him a little credit. At least he wasn't slobbering all over her yet.

"Katsuragi," he said, with a nod.

"Kaji," she replied in turn, keeping any warmth from her voice. She stopped, determined to have it out then and there. Enough pussyfooting. Still, she couldn't quite force herself to say anything else. She wanted the blame to be solely on his head.

But as she was cataloguing several snappy yet vicious verbal barbs and recalling a few tactically hurtful past experiences to use against him, Kaji walked past her and continued down the hall. He walked right past her without batting a cocky eye or even taking the time to quirk a grin. He didn't even bother to look at her. Misato scoffed.

"Hey!" she yelled after him.

He sighed with a visible slumping of his shoulders.

"Yes?" he threw at her, still not facing her.

"So," Misato grumbled, "this is your new tactic? Playing hard to get? You might have got off the hook for the past couple days but I'm sick of pretending like nothing happened. I'm sick of it hanging over my head and I know your ego won't let you forget it. So—"

"Sorry to disappoint you. But contrary to your brilliant deductions my sense of identity does not revolve around you. My life doesn't start and stop with your attention."

She knew she shouldn't be mad. And she wasn't. She was furious.

"I guess it doesn't, as long as you know you won't be getting off. So tell me, how's that long-standing affair with your right hand going? Are there wedding bells in the near future? Should I be jealous?"

"What?" Kaji said, loosing patience. "What the hell do you want me to say to you? Do you want me to grovel, or beg, or say you shouldn't be with the kid, or that our little drunken meeting in that bar's shitty bathroom was the emotional epiphany I've been waiting for my entire life?" He broke off with a frown and forcibly relaxed. "Listen. I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. You were drunk and I should have known better, but I was… careless." He shrugged, like the whole thing was the smallest of events. "Is there anything else?"

Misato couldn't help the fury his words gave her.

"God, Kaji. Fucking _God_ I am sick of your shit. Don't pull that crap with me. I know you don't have a sentimental, apologetic side."

"You never bothered to look for it."

She bristled further. His tone wasn't accusing or confrontational. It was tired, and it was filled with acceptance. It made her feel sick. She hated how he could always bend her to whatever stupid game he felt like playing.

"I'd need some mining equipment and a few decades." She crossed her arms. She realized she did that a lot around him. "Listen, I can totally understand if you're bitter that I didn't rush back to your tacky bedroom but it's important you realize it was nothing but a weak, stupid, immature mistake that I will never repeat again for the rest of my life." Misato was proud at having delivered the speech she worked out nearly verbatim.

"I got that part. Anything else?" Kaji asked with an air of indifferent understanding.

"Excuse me?"

"If you've cleared your conscience now, can I go? I have actual work to do."

_Why can't he act like himself!_

"Work?" she asked, not bothering to hide the disdain in her voice. "Is that what you call spying on Shinji?"

"I've been removed from that little gem," Kaji said with a sigh. Like he regretted it. "Don't tell him but I'm actually going to miss the little guy. Real work can be so disheartening. I much prefer the pleasant artifice of his life to the harsh realities of the real world… because the real world can be so harsh, can't it?"

"Only as harsh as we make it," Misato murmured, sobering a few degrees of fury.

"Or as harsh as we make it for others." He shrugged the rest of his dower mood off and grinned. "A fight is the last thing I need right now. So, for the sake of a tolerable working environment, can we just say we both made a complete joke of our lives and leave it at that? Or, to please you, let's say I messed it up for you. Whatever gets you off my case and back on the kid's. And since I'm such an expert, I can say with perfect confidence that you two will be back playing house in no time. Have fun while it lasts."

"I'm not like you," Misato bit out as he moved to leave. "Not anymore. I'm… we're not playing. It isn't a game and it never was. Not this time, not with him."

"It's always a game."

Kaji left, walking past her with a thin farewell, leaving her alone in the hall.

_These damn halls always seem to be empty when my life takes a hit. At least no one can see me wallowing in self-pity._

It had been a frustrating week. Misato forgot how addicting sex could be for her. It was more than just getting off. She had a few battery operated friends for that end. No, it was more the fact that it was a way to experience an extremely deep level of intimacy she couldn't get to with mere words. To her, screaming a lover's name was as romantic as a long philosophical discussion on life and love. Every caress, every moan and gasp was as emotionally baring as a shared secret or private joke.

She was aware it was a cop out on some level. If a way to a man's heart was through his stomach, the path to hers was through her—

"Hi, captain."

"Oh, uh, hey, Maya," she said, nodding as the young tech hurried past her.

Where was she? Ah, yes. The grand detour to her soul. Granted it _was_ scenic, and no one complained of the long drive, but maybe it was worth investing in some sort of overpass. She doubted she could ever match Shinji's whole "heart on the sleeve" take to romance, but if it helped her to show him exactly how much he meant to her, she was willing to give it a shot.

But the old, familiar, infinitely comfortable rut she had lived in for so long rebelled against any kind of change. And she couldn't exactly blame it on any left over inundation of teenage hormones anymore. Damn it.

Misato sighed.

_Want a deep emotionally binding relationship? Drop your pants. _

Love and sex were closely connected in her mind. In a romantic sense, she couldn't have one without the other. Platonic love was for children and geriatrics. She had the goods, so why not make the most of them? Sometimes she felt so full of emotion she needed to let it out, to vent a bit. And if it had the added benefit of being fun and fulfilling, who was she to argue?

But with Shinji temporarily closing his venting doors for her, she turned to her old standby for emergency personal crises.

Misato entered Ritsuko's lab without knocking, figuring the current car wreck that she called her life would take priority over any little pet project the doctor was working on at the moment.

She was half right. Instead of getting a little free therapy from an occasionally sympathetic ear, Misato was reminded how crappy her current situation really was. At any other time she would have found the sight in the lab funny, or at least unsettlingly ironic.

The blonde doctor sat at her usual station behind her desk, her crossed legs angled to the side. She was smoking. That was a bad sign. Beside her Dr. Katsuragi was idly looking over a file, flipping the pages with slow, languid motions. That was a worse sign. Before the pair of them Dr. Soryu was standing in an unmistakably hostile demeanor, her blue eyes flitting between the pair, obviously livid over something. That was an even worse sign.

"Don't give me that clearance crap again," the red-haired scientist was growling. "If it weren't for me you wouldn't even have everything you do. I'm not some obsolete piece of machinery you can toss aside when you think I've satisfied my purpose! I have a right to know, too!"

"We're not tossing you aside," Dr. Katsuragi began to say, but broke off seeing his daughter enter the lab. He glanced at Ritsuko.

"Captain," the blonde said, sending Soryu spinning on her heel. "Maybe you could settle this little argument. A third party might give a new perspective."

Soryu paused in mid-insult, actually seeming to consider the offer.

"Forget it," she finally said. She started out, but stopped long enough to throw a withering glare at Misato. "I don't want to break up your little club anymore. I always knew this damn place was a hotbed of nepotism, but I always believed you possessed at least a passing semblance of intelligence."

She left. She left, and the three who remained cast about for what needed to be said.

"Misato," her father greeted.

"To what do I owe the honor?" she asked, carefully neutral. "If you're here to wish me a happy early birthday you're late. By about a decade. Did you get lost on the way to the telephone?"

"I've been busy," he told her. He looked at her. "You cut your hair."

The casual tone, along with the utter absurdity of the comment felt like a punch. Misato tilted her head with a twitch in an attempt to regain her composure.

_Yeah, daddy. Does it make me look pretty? Should I wear a bow? How about you buy me a new dress and then we go out for ice cream?_

"What was that all about?" she asked instead, gesturing behind her to the door Soryu had thundered through.

"You know better than to ask me that."

Meaning, now that she was an adult, now that she had a position of power, she knew better than to try and get close to him through his work. Or through any other avenue.

"It's classified," Dr. Katsuragi went on. He had the common courtesy to almost sound contrite. "I probably shouldn't even be talking with you at all."

"I'm an operations director," Misato said immediately. She shot out a sickened breath. _That's where my defenses first go when I'm talking with him?_ "Even if it's above my clearance it shouldn't be a reason to completely cut me off from everything." She shrugged. "Of course there's always that obscure little 'family' thing to take into account as well."

Her father's left eyebrow raised. He looked tired.

"I'm not asking for anything," Misato continued. "I just think it would have been nice for you to see me on your own when you're in town. I don't think I should have to scour the base for my own dad."

"I told you I was busy. This isn't a holiday trip," he said. "And you're not a child. You should be able to live your own life without any interference or intervention. Use your own two feet."

"That what you told mom, too?"

She knew that was low. She also knew the blank look of boredom on his face was the signal that this conversation was over.

"I don't know why you're in such a foul little mood," he said in a wonderfully condescending tone. "But I don't have the time for it. If you'll be so kind as to excuse yourself, I need to get back to work."

"That's pretty bold of you. This isn't even your lab and you're slinging orders," she said, casting a commanding look to Ritsuko.

"No, it isn't," the blonde said, surprisingly unapologetic. "I'm busy too, so if you want to talk it'll have to wait until later, okay, captain?" She turned in her chair and resumed typing at her console. Dr. Katsuragi took up a post beside her.

Misato stared at them, dumbfounded.

"Don't want to be a bother," she muttered, swallowing her temper.

She left on her heel. She did not look back. She did not wait until later.

* * *

Misato never questioned the moral or ethical quandaries that a daughter of a military scientist might be expected to stumble through. For her it was always a part of her father's life, and by extension, her own. In her eyes humans had for their entire existence been prone to killing one another, and the army merely accomplished it with a more efficient, hopefully less apocalyptic way. People were violent creatures. It was in everyone's nature. Best to accept and maybe make a career of it. It wasn't cynicism, at least not to her. It was the same practical realism that let her advance through the ranks of the JSSDF. It was the same knowledge and acceptance of human nature that let her pick and choose her mates without too many deep emotional connections. And it was, at the moment, the same detached professionalism that allowed her to break into a government lab to spy on a respected doctor with enough self-justification to avoid any guilt. 

_Make time for this, asshole._

It was late, but not nearly late enough for this kind of activity. The dramatic, theatrical portion of her mind accosted her for not waiting until the dead of night to commit a crime, for not slinking along the shadow-thick walls while avoiding weary security guards in the small hours of the night. Instead, it was early enough for stragglers still finishing last minute paperwork, and for unscrupulous employees to help themselves to supplies and anything not bolted down.

Or for a slightly reckless captain to spy on her father.

The lab Dr. Katsuragi was using for his office was unashamedly messy. A disaster site of papers, discs, reports, models and computers. It looked like an overworked science student threw up. It was nothing surprising.

Misato briefly remembered his study at home, and his general lack of traditional organization. Despite the immature appearance, she knew the man could pick any single object from the mess if asked. She wasn't sure if it was to intentionally throw people off, confuse them, of simply a way to irritate people he didn't like. It was working wonders on her at the moment.

Passing over stacks of loose sheets she sat at what had to be his main terminal and booted it up. She silently thanked whatever deity watches over thieves and children as she found he hadn't gotten around to blocking general access. Or he merely never thought no one would ever try and spy on him. Or he didn't care.

"Either or," Misato muttered. Then she bit her lip in frustration.

Every file was password protected and encrypted. Despite her father's slovenly research methods and professional carelessness with sensitive information, she forgot how paranoid the man could be within his own comfort zones. She could easily imagine him spending time every morning making sure nothing had been altered or looked at, before changing all the passwords twice. She supposed all the precarious stacks of paperwork were a way to ensure he'd notice any intrusions.

Misato looked away from the computer screen to investigate one such pile. She frowned as she discovered it was all things she could get on her own, through legal channels. Though why he'd need the majority of them were lost to her.

Her hands froze over a thick folder, stamped with several classified warnings on its front, promising punishment to any who looked within. Misato did not need to look inside. The file name was enough.

Ikari Gendo.

Misato's frown deepened. Why on earth would her father have reports on Ikari Gendo? Which inevitably brought her back to her original question. Why was her father here in the first place?

Using unofficial channels (Hyuuga's obvious crush) Misato had occasionally kept tabs on Dr. Katsuragi and his general whereabouts over the years. It wasn't anything as pathetic as trying to keep ties with the man; she learned only he chose who he associated with. And it wasn't anything as petty as sending a tastelessly cheerful holiday card once a year. It was merely to observe an innate, unspoken loyalty to the human being who had contributed half her genetic makeup. Part of it was undoubtedly a holdover from her childhood, the curiosity the shadowy man instilled in her. Thankfully, the old desire to prove herself in his eyes had died along with her mother. As much as it disgusted her, Misato was never particularly saddened by the cancer that took her life. It was a way to finally sever ties with her old self. No weeping mother to care for, no absent father to hate and want, no little Misato pretending to be nice and clean.

She smiled without humor at that, a sickly crinkling at the corner of her lips.

_All I needed to grow up was a dead mother._

But the past was just that to her: the past. It was best to let it stay there. Of course it was easier to keep it there when she wasn't reminded of it every minute.

Initially, she had believed her father was in Japan to help further the pet project he worked as a consultant for when she was still a child. Some pipe dream about super charged non-nuclear weapons that wouldn't irradiate the environment. Granted, it wasn't her father's primary field of expertise, but public opinion was only so lenient with the military applications of his actual work. Gene manipulation, evolutionary theories and artificial tissue growth had never shocked her the way it did the general populace. She grew up listening to the bizarre world of science her father belonged to. Perpetual energy and induced evolution were her bedtime stories, and while even some two and a half decades later Misato still couldn't fully grasp those ideas, they still filled her with an excited childlike wonder. Like hearing a favorite fairy tale, albeit one that confused and wearied you.

It was what originally made her seek a friendship, and what continued to maintain her association with, Akagi Ritsuko. It was what made her pursue a life in what was as close as she could realistically hope to be to the world of her father. But she had long ago learned that the underlying reason was unimportant. The end result was what truly mattered.

She heard someone shuffle past outside and checked her watch, deciding she'd stayed long enough. She was assured she would not find what she was looking for. Still, she tarried over his desk a moment longer, shuffling the few loose stacks of files and discs, hoping something would catch her eye.

Nothing did. Misato snorted a sigh and stood up. Her eyes strayed over the few clearly visible labels and found nothing to determine the purpose of her father's visit. They all seemed too random, too obscure.

Temperature records of the Antarctic? Financial documents on banks from Europe and Asia for high tech medical supplies? Transport manifestos over the last year from every major Japanese import/export company? Doctored receipts for mining machinery?

Though it was all nonsense to her she copied down a few names and numbers, determined to research them later when she had some actual time. And when she wasn't in any immediate danger of being arrested.

The last file name she took down did not send any warnings to her either. Nothing to give her pause or merit genuine worry. It was tucked away in a long list of other obscure titles and headings. It seemed completely unassuming and innocuous, if a touch strange.

Misato added it to the list and left for home. There would be no more attempts at civility between her and her father. At least, none initiated by her. Meaning there would be no more. Ritsuko wasn't winning any points either. Instead of pondering what two of the greatest minds in Japan were working on, Misato focused solely on the secret pact the two seemed to have made. Granted, the two of them keeping secrets from her was nothing new, but the tag-team effort was new and unwelcome. And troubling. Whatever was going on, it was big. That much the captain could discern. If this had her father working with another human being on civil terms, Ritsuko being more catty than usual, Kaji being almost polite, Maya acting more frazzled than normal and Soryu getting her tacky skirts in a twist than something was afoot. Well, Soryu getting bent out of shape was anything but alarming, it actually had a strange calming effect, but the rest of the usual suspects were acting odd.

_Maybe when old man Fuyutsuki gets back in town he'd favor me with a meeting, and a 'none of your business.' At least then I could blame this on a clear rank issue. What's the good of working my way up the ladder if I can't reach anything with it?_

"Fuck it," Misato said. She'd been getting a lot of use out of that word lately. She got more on the drive home. "Can this day pour any more salt in my wounds?"

Upon further consideration, she decided that yes, it could.

* * *

The last thing Misato wanted when she finally reached her apartment was any sort of human interaction. Dealing with the twin grown babies that were her father and Kaji took a lot out of her. The only reason she didn't stop by a bar for a few shots to help cap off her terrific week was the pissy exhaustion violently groping her entire body. At least Rei would be considerate enough to leave her alone. Considerate, or oblivious. Either or. Both worked. As long as nothing impeded her journey to the fridge for a beer, then to her room where she hoped to get started on a raging hangover. 

So as she opened her front door and found several extra pairs of shoes waiting for her, she summed up the situation with admirable skill.

"Aw, fuck."

She said it loud enough to hopefully let whoever was intruding on her sanctuary know they were in fact intruding. And that there was going to be hell to pay. Hell, meaning the business end of her boot. Despite the jovial sounding conversation taking place in her apartment, Misato tried hard to hold onto the frustration and anger she had been stewing in all week. She wondered if this was how Shinji felt regarding large gatherings.

Sadly it appeared no one heard her sworn declaration of annoyance, since the impromptu party continued unabated, even as she entered the kitchen. Rei was seated at the table, vainly struggling to study a text before her, as both Asuka and Hikari were chatting Shinji up. Their attention was unabashedly on the young man, who was at the stove making something or other, and wearing that stupid novelty apron she bought him boldly declaring "chefs serve it up hot." Was he trying to give Asuka a nosebleed?

"Uh, hi?" Misato said, almost completely covering up the distaste she was feeling.

"Misato-san," Shinji said without missing a beat.

Her boyfriend left the relative safety of meal preparation and walked up to her. Without so much as blush he leaned in and kissed her lightly, resting one lazy hand on her hip. Misato was shocked into unresponsiveness. He finally pulled back with an easy smile.

"Welcome home."

From her angle, Misato could clearly see the girls, watching the couple with avid to jaded curiosity. Asuka was attempting to murder her using her eyes. Hikari predictably blushed. Rei gave herself a slight nod, but looked indescribably weary.

"Good to be home," Misato said, surprised at how much she meant it.

"Why don't you change?" Shinji said as he returned to the stove. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

"Uh… right. I'll, uh, I'll go do that." _Could this day get any weirder?_

Misato stumbled backwards to her room. Such an open public display of affection from her boyfriend was throwing her off. The sense of control she had struggled to keep all day was just hurled out the window.

Shinji, okay with acting like a normal couple in front of others? Rei, not making some caustic remark at her expense? Herself, not throwing Asuka and Hikari out the door? But most importantly, Shinji, okay with acting like a normal couple in front of others?

She knew forgiveness was probably still a distant promise, but it was just that: a promise. She couldn't imagine the two of them not having further difficulties, but if Shinji could get over his gloomy outlook, at least for a night, then there was definitely hope. Still, it felt a touch bizarre being on the receiving end of an embarrassed blush with him.

But this was what she wanted. Right?

Misato shut her door behind her, chuckling a bit as she heard Asuka causing some kind of commotion in the kitchen. She suddenly hoped she had never been that desperate with a guy.

_Girl needs to get laid._

She shed her uniform, letting it crumple into a heap at her feet. She selected an old t-shirt with a nobly faded Baron the cat and a comfortable pair of shorts. She paused, then threw them back, instead picking out the pair she kept for any occasion she wanted to make Shinji blush. She decided tonight was fast becoming one of those. And while she knew he wouldn't let himself stay over tonight, Misato resolved to make him regret it.

_Hell, I need to get laid too._

As her hand fell on the door again, she stopped and went back to her uniform. She fished out the pad of paper she had written her father's secrets on and carefully hid it on her desk behind her gun's holster, a place she knew neither Shinji nor Rei would ever go near. Even though she knew Shinji wouldn't be staying tonight.

Her eyes drifted to the last file name she copied down. The name just struck her odd the more she thought about it. It almost sounded like a progressive rock band, or one of those dumb games Shinji worked on.

Misato sighed and pushed it from her mind. Dinner was waiting, as were two people she truly cared for, and two others she could take or leave. Work, her father and everything they represented could wait for another day. And so could the strange things they were involved in.

When she turned out her bedroom light and opened the door to join the others, the last heading on her list waited patiently for her. Just as it had for so long. What was a little more time, after all?

For the Human Enhancement Project, time was the smallest of obstacles.

* * *

End of Chapter 13

Author notes: ready for a real shocker? _I am not going to apologize for anything in this chapter._ Not even the long wait. I hate the holidays and let me tell you right now passing a kidney stone hurts like... well, like passing a kidney stone.

"Write what feels right." Probably the best literary advice I've ever received. Thanks, GuppyLips.

Contrary to popular belief, I feel love means _always_ having to say you're sorry. That opening was tough to write. It's the main reason this took so long. And yeah, I know she's still telling him what to do and it's emotionally manipulative… but it's the good kind of manipulation. They're both saying goodbye to the past. Besides, I think Shinji would place more weight on an emotional betrayal as opposed to a purely physical one. I mean, I obviously couldn't have them break up. I just felt it was time for him to grow up a bit. Maybe Misato should cheat on him until he becomes a womanizer or something.

And Rei. Many of you seem to be confused by her portrayal. I thought it was clear by now: I have no fucking idea what I'm doing with her. The more I churn this story out, the more I feel Misato and Rei are parts of a whole in regards to Shinji: Misato the physical, Rei the spiritual. Whatever. This is almost done.

The holidays make me bitchy, so time for a rant. I try not to let too much ruffle me. But one thing that irks me is plagiarism. I recently stumbled onto an Eva fic where someone lifted, nearly verbatim, the entire cello scene from chapter eleven of True Love Waits. Even my infamous "auditory orgasm," which admittedly, I was pretty proud of. At first I was all pissed but now… (shrugs) I kind of think it's funny. Here I am, writing little stories about foreign cartoon characters from ten years ago and someone took the time to copy something I wrote, possibly while I was buzzed. Life is funny like that. Wait, no. I mean pathetic.

This chapter was written in large part while listening to Sigur Ros' _Takk…_. Love it.

Why won't this ever stop? OMAKE.

Asuka: _This author is a fucktard._

Hikari: _Asuka! Language!_

Asuka: _Shut it. I just found his other "work" if you can even call it that. What a fucking fucktard. That isn't me at all._

Hikari: _Other work? I don't see anything…_

Asuka: _It's on another site. He constantly harps about it, like it sucks, but he secretly hopes that makes people want to read it, like he's fishing for sympathy. Pathetic._

Hikari: (reads Witness) _Oh my. That is… upsetting. Perhaps the author should seek therapy. Poor Ikari-san…_

Asuka: _Poor him? Poor me! He made me into a monster! Like I'd ever do that to Ikari._

Hikari: _Which part? Sympathize with him, hug him, blame him for your own confused adolescence, or pummel him senseless for… you know._ That.

Asuka: _I'm surrounded by fucktards._

Rei: _At least you get a speaking role in it._

Shinji: (just now entering) _In what, Ayanami?_

Girls: _Nothing! DON'T READ IT!_


	14. Chapter 14

True Love Waits Chapter 14

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: I'm glad I don't own Eva or Radiohead. If I did, I'd have losers like me writing about them all the time. Did I already say that?

* * *

"Captain! _Captain!_" 

"Huh?"

She was on her back. Not that strange in itself, but something was amiss. She did not recognize the ceiling. It wasn't her rooms', nor was it any other in her apartment. Odd. Perhaps she was at Shinji's place? But why would he call her captain? Were they role-playing again?

No, no that wasn't it. The ceiling… it was the mobile command center. Yes, that was it. She smiled as she solved the puzzle. It dissolved from her lips as her eyes focused. Why was it so misty in here? Was Ritsuko smoking again? She knew better than that. Stupid woman. She'll get chewed out for this.

"Sssstupidd… Risu… ko…"

Huh. That sounded weird. Well, no matter. She was on her back, after all.Then she gurgled, choking on warm saliva. At least, she thought it was saliva. It was hot and thick. She sputtered as her throat spasmed, spitting something up on her cheek. Red? Red saliva? Had she been drinking a Bloody Mary? It certainly didn't taste like a—

"Stay awake, captain! Stay awake! Don't you go anywhere! Don't you dare!"

Who was this numbskull yelling at her? What the hell was all the commotion? Somebody switch to decaf when nobody was looking? And what was all this talk about staying awake? She was tired, damn it. She worked hard and was entitled to some shuteye. What was wrong with that? She closed her eyes, grumbling to herself.

"Damn it, captain! Wake up!"

A swift slap to the face jolted her eyes open. Who the hell dared to hit her? A dead man, that's who. Some moron angling for a severe ass whooping. She tried to sit up to administer said butt kicking, and found her body rebelling against her orders. She couldn't even lift her head. And what was that? Was that really a fire in the corner? What the hell…?

"Don't move, captain. Relax. Help is on the way."

"Wuh… aat?"

The person yelling at her, the person who dared strike her. It was… who was it? She knew him, but the name… she couldn't quite place the name. She concentrated hard, pouring all her mental power onto the question of who this guy was. He had long brown hair, sharp eyes, and… a huge gash on his forehead? Did he always have that? A sudden thought of guitars passed before her.

"Gii… rrr…"

"Captain," the man said. "Don't talk, don't move. Stay calm. We were hit, hard." He glanced over his shoulder. "Makoto! You alive? Get over here! The captain's down!"

A new man appeared behind the first, his glasses shattered, half his face covered in blood. He shuddered.

"God… captain Katsuragi…"

Katsuragi! That was her name! It had been bugging her, not being able to remember. She'd have to thank the bloody man. Thank you, bloody man, she tried to say. All that came out was more red. Damn Bloody Mary.

"Tilt her head! Makoto! Take your shirt off! Make a bandage, quick! She's bleeding out! We're losing her…!"

Losing her? What were they talking about? Eh, it didn't matter. With her head titled to the side, Bloody Mary spilling out her mouth so fast she couldn't speak and no one to talk to, she opted for the next best option. She closed her eyes, hoping when she woke up the world would return to its former, working self.

She giggled mentally. Who was that touching her legs? Shin-chan? He was here too?

The little devil. Acting so innocent all the time, blushing and stuttering. Okay, Shinji, be quick about it. I'm real tired. Really, really tired.

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 14

* * *

Rei deposited three coins into the pay phone, listening to them clatter down its insides, waiting for the dial tone. She was not, oddly enough, angry at the fact her cell had been confiscated. She punched in a number she had just recently committed to memory, hearing it ring twice. 

"_Hello?"_

"Ikari-san."

"_Oh, hello Ayanami. What a nice surprise. Is everything okay?"_

"No. Misato has been injured. She is in the military hos—"

"_What! Oh my God! Is she okay?"_

Rei sighed.

"She is in the military hospital at the edge of the city. Do you know the one?"

"_Yes! God! Is she… is she okay, Ayanami?"_

"She is alive. Would you come down here, Ikari-san?"

"_Y-yes! Yeah, I'm on my way. Oh, God…"_ On the other end, Shinji sprinted out of his office, nearly falling down a flight of stairs. _"Ow. Ayanami, are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"_

"I am unharmed." She glanced behind her, seeing the operation light still lit above the theater. She pushed her fear down. "When will you get here?"

"_God… the bus is too slow… I'll take a cab. Ayanami, I'm on my way. Just… just stay calm, okay?"_ He almost chuckled, remembering who he was talking to. _"I'm… stay calm…"_

"I will." Rei cradled the receiver gently, closing her eyes. She willed him to speed up, even though he already sounded like he was hyperventilating. "Ikari-san, give your name at the gate. They will take you to me."

"_Right. Thanks. God… Ayanami, did you see her? How bad is it?"_

"I do not know," she whispered to him. Her eyes refused to open. She gripped the phone in a sudden burst of anxiety. In her ear, Shinji's soft, desperate beckoning of an unseen deity continued, and the clamber of the hospital faded to a gentle buzz.

_Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Please hurry._

"Hey there, missy," a voice broke into her thoughts. "That's some crazy hair you got."

"What?" Rei turned to face a young woman in a military uniform.

"Whoa! Colored contacts, too? You're pretty styling, missy."

Rei went back to the phone.

"Please hurry." She hung up. Feeling the woman's eyes still on her, she tried to glide past her. She failed.

"What's the rush? Are you lost? Need some help?" The woman wore a small smile, trying hard to appear friendly. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing you could help me with." Her eyes drifted back to the surgery door, her thoughts in a jumble.

"Oh…" the woman said, almost a whisper. "You're Katsuragi's kid, aren't you?"

"Who are you to ask?" she snapped.

"It's okay," the woman soothed. "I'm sorry. I'm a friend of hers. We both work for the JSSDF. From what I heard, she seems like a really nice person. I'm sorry this happened."

Rei took a moment to look at her, for the first time, and saw her left arm soaked in dried blood. It hung limply at her side.

"You are injured."

"Oh, it's nothing. Forget it. A bullet grazed me. I'm already stitched up. See?" She flexed her arm, grinning. "Good as new."

"What happened?" Rei asked, her red eyes locking the woman in place.

"Sorry, kiddo. That's classified."

"I have a right to know. Tell me."

"Well, you're certainly straightforward, aren't you? Sorry. I'd be kicked out of this little club if I told you."

"That does not concern me," Rei said. "Tell me."

"Geez… you're a real handful," the woman said, scratching her short hair. "Sorry, I really am. I'm sure she'll tell you when she wakes up. Hang in there." She produced her bravest, warmest smile. A blank half-lidded stare was her reward. She sighed. "Uh, could I get you anything? Coffee? Food?" _Something to thaw out that personality of yours?_

The albino girl turned on her heel.

"If you will not tell me than I have no use for you."

"Hey, don't be mean. I'm just trying to help." She followed Rei to a bench, thinking the way she pulled out a book and began reading to be a coping mechanism. "Really, I could keep you company until your friend arrives…"

"I would not advise that," Rei stated bluntly. She sighed gently as the woman did not leave. "Who are you?" she asked, her patience at its limit.

"My name?" The woman smiled. "I'm Mana."

* * *

"Ayanami!" 

Shinji ran down the hall, clearly out of breath. Rei rose from her station on the bench to greet him as he neared.

"Ikari-san, I—"

Rei gasped asShinji wrapped his arms around her, holding her head and back. She rested on his chest, feeling how fast his heart was beating. His body shuddered, choking back sobs. His fingertips flexed and contracted on her. Rei's arms stayed at her sides.

She'd never been hugged, not like this. Not like she was slipping away and he was desperate to capture her. She felt his breath running ragged against her neck, struggling to contain himself. Abruptly, he pulled back, keeping his hands on her shoulders.

"Ayanami, are you okay?" His eyes were hysterical, searching. "Are you alright?"

"I am… I am unharmed." She blinked at him. "Do not worry."

"Thank God." He hugged her again, letting out a sigh. "Thank God."

"… yes," Rei said, looking around. People were beginning to stare. "Are… you alright, Ikari-san?"

He drew back, wiping his eyes. His other hand stayed on her.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Shinji smiled at her, a rare smile of unshielded emotion.

"Let us… sit. You look… tired."

"Alright."

They sat, and Shinji hung his head, catching his lost breath. He ran a hand through his wet hair.

"I… was notified at school," Rei offered, still tingling from the hugs. "A military car arrived and brought me here. Then I called you." She glanced around them: the woman was nowhere to be seen. Mana. Rei wondered if it was the same woman who—

"Thank you," Shinji said. "Do you know what happened?"

"They were intentionally vague. No one told me specifics." She breathed. "… thank you for coming, Ikari-san."

Shinji blinked.

"Of course I'd come… I care about you and Misato-san a lot, Ayanami." He glanced down at her hand, a pale ball of nerves. He almost took it in his own, but his adrenaline had left him, and rational thought again commanded his actions. He wondered if he crossed a line back there. "Um… just, just remember that, okay? You both… mean so much to me." A single tear slipped from his right eye. "G-geez…"

"Understood." She looked elsewhere, the blue of his eyes suddenly causing her discomfort. "I will remember."

* * *

Shinji had no real impression of the doctor who saved Misato's life, or the nurses who tended her. Their faces and voices were nothing but a blurry mess and it was all he could do to keep from screaming aloud, to damn God, to thank God. Shinji and God had never been on the best understanding to begin with. 

Even after the doctor stated with certainty that yes, captain Katsuragi Misato, age twenty nine, birthday December eighth, 1976, was alive and would live given time and rest, Shinji's heart would not stop its escape from his chest until he saw her in post op. Still, and soft, and alive.

She looks like an angel, Shinji thought. My angel.

Misato was deep within a dreamless slumber, the hospital bed's sheets covering the injuries she sustained. Only her face and neck were visible, and the nurses had taken the time to clean her up before Rei and Shinji arrived. She was pale, drawn, her hair frazzled and burnt, stubborn flecks of black blood peppered her skin. Shinji thought she never looked more beautiful.

"Please wait here for a moment," a nurse told them. "I'll bring you two some chairs."

"Thank you," Shinji said, bowing.

Rei walked up to the window separating them from Misato and lightly touched the glass.

"She will be okay," the girl stated softly.

Shinji joined her at her side, but couldn't bring himself to speak, even to agree. He tried to summon anger, but all that arose was frustration. He felt helpless. The woman he loved was out risking her life, and all he could do was stand to the side and watch. Powerless. That was how he felt.

"I am glad she is alive," Rei said, retracting her hand.

"So am I," Shinji finally managed.

The nurse returned with two folding chairs, setting them up against the far wall beneath a long window overlooking the military base. It was well past noon, the orange sun sinking into the arms of the cityscape, far away.

"Sorry," she said. She looked exhausted. "These were the only ones I could find. I hope you don't mind too much."

"These are fine, thank you."

"Well, if you have any questions, or need anything, just call." She pointed to a phone mounted on the wall. "We'd be glad to help, but please remember you are here by special order of the commander. Please stay here and out of the way."

Shinji had a faint tickling memory of an old man with grey hair.

"We will. Thank you."

Shinji watched the nurse scuttle back down the hall and turned. He found Rei already in one of the chairs. He collapsed into the other beside her, blowing his breath to the ceiling. The rush here, the emotional drain, it all caught up with him in a hurry, and he felt his eyes flutter closed. The chair was amazingly uncomfortable, and the hall was at a constant level of audible irritation, but his body no longer cared.

"Thank God," he muttered one last time, before slipping his eyes closed to rest.

The noise of the hall became a steady, normal rhythm, a silence all its own. Nurses and patients passing him grew into a cushion for sleep, a peace in the natural way they moved around him, none bothering to stop for more than a glance or an uncomfortably murmured nicety. He wavered in a fitful rest, somewhere between dozing and lucid dreaming.

But when the sharp staccato assault of high heels invaded his ears, and a presence refused to leave after the required time to gawk and feel pity, Shinji cracked his eyes open. The harsh white of the hospital's hall gradually dulled and bled away, replaced with a somber blonde haired woman.

"Dr. Akagi!" he blurted out. Shinji leapt to his feet, blinking rapidly as blood rushed from his head. As his vision cleared he realized how tired and disheveled the scientist looked.

"Ikari," the woman greeted with a grave nod. She turned and saw Misato, and sighed through her nose. "I just heard. I got here as soon as I could." Her voice sounded neither surprised nor shocked, merely old. The weary resignation of a harsh reality.

"I'm sure she'd appreciate it," Shinji offered lamely.

Ritsuko didn't bother asking how she was.

"She was lucky," she said. Her face softened with exhaustion as he didn't follow. "Deep lacerations on her legs and chest, second degree burns, blood loss, concussion… she was lucky."

"Oh." Having gotten the military run around once already when he arrived, Shinji hedged his bets and decided not to ask the blonde what happened. But his reasoning failed to quell his impotent rage. "I suppose she was lucky." His mouth twisted around the words. The sentiment seemed ludicrous to him.

"I should have been there," Ritsuko muttered to herself.

Before Shinji could validate his total lack of comprehension regarding the situation, the prickly dawning of being watched fell over him. He turned, and found a man he did not know staring past him. It struck Shinji he knew those eyes.

"Can I help you, sir?" he asked. He unconsciously moved in front of the observation window.

The man all but pushed Shinji to the side, seeking out Misato. His brow furrowed slightly, as if trying to decide what emotion to display.

"Misato," he breathed.

"Dr. Katsuragi," Rei muttered from her chair, face unreadable. Her red eyes stared straight at the man, not bothering to notice Shinji's utter shock.

"Rei," the doctor said simply.

The albino tucked her book away. She quickly sought out blue eyes.

"I'm surprised you're already here," the man went on. "I suppose Misato would want that."

_Adept as ever at human interaction,_ Rei thought. _Where on earth did Misato learn her people skills?_

"Who are you?" Katsuragi asked Shinji, noticing him for the first time.

"Her boyfriend," he answered immediately. He didn't quite know what to make of his sudden paling or twitch of his brow. "I'm—"

"I know who you are."

The unrestrained hostility in the words went unmet for a moment. Finally, predictably, Shinji shrank back towards Misato's room until his leg brushed the wall. He glanced back at her.

"I love her," he said awkwardly, increasingly uncomfortable with this whole encounter. This was a fine how do you do. Certainly not how he thought he would meet her father. Or how he would react to him.

Dr. Katsuragi's visage did not soften, but his voice's edge dulled a degree.

"My daughter the humanitarian." He sighed. "I didn't know the JSSDF was still playing matchmaker."

"Now is _not_ the time," Ritsuko whispered. She looked at her companion with a warning in her eyes.

Dr. Katsuragi ran his hand over his face in a gesture of monumental fatigue. He shook his head and gazed at Shinji.

_She deserves better than that monster's son._

"Sorry." An apology without apologizing.

Granted, Shinji had never punched someone before, but the blinding urge to try it at that moment was crumbling his meager mental defenses. In an all too familiar action borne of a desperate desire to conform to social decorum and avoid conflict, he swallowed his anger. Just another mouthful to add to the two decades of it inside him. God, was there anyone who _didn't_ know his past at this point?

But Ritsuko, the bastion of common sense, reined his thoughts in. Now really wasn't the time.

"Could I… do you want to sit down?" Shinji asked through his teeth, motioning to his empty seat by Rei.

"I don't have that luxury right now," Katsuragi said with a glance at Ritsuko. "We really should be going."

"Going?" Shinji repeated. He scrunched his eyebrows together. "Where on earth would you—"

"Take care of her, Ikari," Ritsuko cut in softly, trying to defuse the situation. "I'm sorry but we really do have a lot to do." She gestured vaguely to the rest of the hospital, and Shinji was reminded of all the injured soldiers he passed on his way in. He blew out the rest of his argument in a shaky breath.

"Right. Thanks for stopping by. I'll be sure to tell her."

The blonde doctor gave him a brief smile, then turned to catch up with Misato's father. As she reached his side the man stopped in mid stride to face Shinji again.

"Tell her goodbye for me," Dr. Katsuragi said, almost as an afterthought. "I'm leaving the country in a few days and I doubt I'll get back here before then." He nodded briefly as a farewell.

Relationships with parents, adults, even his peers were never Shinji's strength. He never claimed otherwise. And he could begrudgingly realize a kind of brutal logic whenever he found someone burying themselves in work to escape the rest of the world. He was employed in the video game industry after all. But such a blatant show of indifference from a father was more than he could take.

He looked to Rei. The girl wore a face of weary acceptance. This was nothing to be surprised about.

Something about the way Dr. Katsuragi was walking away from them, from his daughter triggered something very deep and very dark within him. Shinji felt his composure flee from him in furious bounds.

"Why can't you tell her?" he asked, feeling genuinely angry with the man for the first time. His frustration bubbled over his lips. "You're her father, right? She was… she was almost killed! Is your own child such an inconvenience for you?"

"Ikari…" Ritsuko soothed.

"No!" Shinji was shaking. "She… don't you know how much she's been suffering since she saw you again? Misato-san's strong but she's not invincible! It's been tearing her up!"

"Humans are not meant to live with each other," Katsuragi said, almost sounding like he was quoting someone important. "Nor are they meant to live alone." He turned to face Shinji. "I am sure you understand this."

"I don't care how you justify it. It still isn't right!"

"No. It isn't." Dr. Katsuragi cursed words for being so woefully inadequate. "Life isn't fair, and that is a fact Misato has made peace with. I imagine Rei has, as well. Why you haven't yet is beyond me."

"I know life isn't fair," Shinji said, straining to make his point clear, "but God! You're her father!"

Ritsuko averted hergaze in discomfort. Rei's half-lidded eyes did not waver from the young man before her.

"You must love my daughter very much," Katsuragi said after a moment. He held a ghost of a smile on his lips. "And if you make her happy… that is the most I can ever hope for her."

Shinji's fury collapsed.

"And if you can keep making her happy… that would surpass all my wishes."

Shinji stared open mouthed. He blinked many times.

Ritsuko turned away.

_Still a master manipulator,_ she thought, wearing a frown.

"We have to get going," the blonde doctor announced. "Seriously. Sorry, Ikari. Rei."

They left without any more words. The left, and the two who remained watched them leave. Shinji watched until they vanished behind a bend in the hall. He stepped back and sank into his chair. The moments lengthened, and he memorized the view inside Misato's room. He shut his eyes and could clearly see the curves of her face, the frizzed hair framing her face, the wires and bedding framing her hair. Shinji kept his eyes closed, and breathed. He opened his eyes and breathed again.

He turned to Rei with a soft, tired, forced smile.

"I've always meant to ask. What are you reading?"

* * *

Shinji craned his neck to check his watch. It was exactly seven minutes since he lost all feeling in his right arm. Nine since Rei's head struck his shoulder after she finally nodded off beside him. He had no idea how she managed to fall asleep in her position, but he wasn't holding it against her. He couldn't imagine how much strength it took to keep all her emotions internalized, especially on a day like this, but he knew she must be feeling pretty drained right now. At least now she could rest in relative privacy. 

The hall was empty, and they were apparently forgotten. Shinji looked down both paths, nothing but the semi-silence of hospital existence meeting him. The intercom buzzed every so often, and sometimes lights flashed under doors, but no human life was visible. He felt amazingly isolated.

_I never did like hospitals anyway._

Shinji was aware at the emotional convenience of the entire situation. Nothing like a little tragedy to send any and all private crises to the backburner. He knew the feeling he held now, the desperate desire to forgive and forget, just as long as she lived to see him again, was nothing but human weakness. It would fade, and pass, and be remembered as nothing but a moment of personal failing.

But he sincerely wished he would always feel this way. It was so easy to let his imagination hold his reason and logic hostage, concocting all sorts of elaborate and damning scenarios where Misato was killed or injured because he refused her apologies. Shinji literally could not live with himself if Misato died and he never told her he forgave her. He just wished he had a few more weeks to feel betrayed.

Shinji extracted his arm from Rei, taking care not to wake her. He never pegged her as a heavy sleeper, but was glad when she simply grumbled something softly and curled away from him.

Shinji walked to the observation window, and smiled down on Misato's slumbering form. Despite his lifelong hesitance regarding physical contact he suddenly felt the overpowering desire to touch her, to at least hold her hand. Somewhere along the way during their relationship physicality became a normal, required aspect of his life. Shinji never excelled in speech, and he discovered small touches, a gentle brushing of fingers over exposed skin could intimate the words that seemed to be always poised on his lips.

"I love you, Misato-san."

Shinji traced lines down the glass. He supposed it must have looked extremely maudlin, but that was the kind of mood he was in.

He listened to the steady, reassuring electric beeps representing her pulse, trying to time it to his own. He stayed there, barely breathing, watching her in the dark. The slight, but undeniable rise and fall of her chest made him feel indescribably wonderful. The fatigue working him over lessened, but only a degree. His body still grumbled at him to go to sleep, but his mind was alert and awake. He turned away from the window, that old desire to scream aloud coming back. Shinji walked down the abandoned hall, giving one last lingering look at Misato, and the digital display showing her progress. The rising bars were almost all green now. Soon she'd wake up.

His eyes fell on Rei. Perhaps she'd like a coffee. He used the justification of pursuing hot beverages to wander the hospital by himself for a few minutes. Shinji knew how to deal with trauma, but it was on his own time, without anyone else's company. That was what he liked to tell himself, anyways.

What a day. That was the only coherent thought he could summon as he stopped by the cafeteria, gazing out over the dark countryside beyond the base. Now and then a car would pass by, headlights stabbing through the night, or a low-flying VTOL swept past, making the windows rattle slightly. There seemed to be an awful lot of activity for such a late hour. He was thankful the hospital had calmed down. The rush of doctors and injured soldiers that had greeted him when he first arrived was gone now, replaced with the soft quiet of a normal night.

It was with a sense of impossibility, of surrealism, that he reviewed the day's events. He had an inkling that Misato's occupation was dangerous, but he never seriously entertained any ideas of her getting injured. It was a reality, but one far removed from his everyday thoughts. But now, it was at the forefront of his musings, and he imagined it would be for the foreseeable future. It just didn't seem fair to him. Shinji was by no means sexist, but he couldn't help but feel slightly emasculated when all he could do was thank people for stopping by. He felt he should be able to do more. Maybe he should enlist.

That idea died before he finished thinking it. He was no soldier, no fighter. Even verbal sparring matches made him fluster. He couldn't imagine how he'd react in a life or death situation. He'd probably wet himself and run away. Shinji sighed. All he could do was wish her job wasn't so hazardous. He had asked her once, why she had joined the military in the first place, and was surprised not to be surprised when she told him. Her father. He was the reason. Shinji instantly understood her more than she knew. Little more was needed on the topic. Feeling sorry for oneself seemed to be epidemic these days. So did desire for approval from a distant parent.

Shinji couldn't help it. Thinking about his father would never be a happy pastime for him. Two dead parents at twenty-two. Tragic, to be sure, and with Shinji's mentality, a near disaster. Another sigh passed his lips.

_Goodbye, father,_ he thought. _Goodbye, mother. I hope I can still make you proud. I hope I can live a worthy life. I hope I can make Misato happy._ He paused. _I hope I can make Rei happy, too. _

Maybe it was best to take one thing at a time.

So absorbed within himself, he failed to pick up on the lone figure walking down the hall towards his hunched form. He made for a pitiful sight, leaning on the rail, overlooking the black night. His eyes searched the darkness, a fruitless effort. The figure approaching him grinned, letting herself be transported back to a very distant time and place. She spoke just loudly enough to break his train of thought.

"Hey there, gloomy."

Shinji froze. Every nerve in his body died and came alive in an instant. Air refused to enter his lungs. He tasted sweat on his lips.

"It… it can't be…"

He turned and found Kirishima Mana smiling back at him.

* * *

Fuyutsuki entered the seven digit pass code into the palm display, grunting with impatience as the heavy metal doors grinded open. He slipped through before they were completely back, marching down to the next gate. A retinal scan was required this time, and he bent with a fast, angry motion. The laser passed over his eye and the next set of doors swept back. 

The final gateway was defended by two armed guards. They saw him coming, and brought their weapons up.

"It's me!" Fuyutsuki shouted at them. "Open the damn doors!"

They hastened to allow him access. A siren wailed as the last door slid up, and the aged commander ducked under it, all but running inside.

Within was a sterile white room, larger than most houses, so bright it was difficult to see where the floor ended and the walls began. In its center stood a wide cell, bars reaching up some twenty feet. Another guard sitting beside the cell stood, saluting Fuyutsuki before quickly scuttling to the side.

"Leave us," the old man growled. The soldier blinked, uncertain, and the commander spun on him. "Get out!"

The door to the hall closed, the siren sounding again. It shut with a dull thud, the shockwave spreading over the floor. Fuyutsuki's fists clenched until the knuckles popped.

"Wake up, you son of a bitch."

The prisoner in the cell sat up in bed, swinging his feet around to meet the floor. He looked at the old man with an inquisitive stare.

"Lab 81," Fuyutsuki bit out. "We just moved on it today. It took us awhile to find its location from the MAGI, but we did. So, did you have your lackeys waiting there for months just to ambush my people?" His words echoed off the white walls, careening around the cavernous room. "Say something!"

"Whatever do you mean, commander?"

Fuyutsuki stormed to the bars, gritting his teeth.

"Lab 81. Another of your little playhouses out near Kyoto. What was your order to those jackals?"

The prisoner tilted his head, considering. He shook his head.

"I have no recollection of issuing orders to the men at 81. Perhaps my employers ordered the attack." He paused. "Have you found them yet?"

"Not yet," Fuyutsuki promised. "God damn it, my people died out there. For God's sake tell me something and save what's left of your soul!"

"There have been losses on both sides. Loss is inevitable in a war."

"_We're not at war!_" The old man jammed his eyes closed. "Please. For the love of God. For humanity's sake. Damn it, think of your son!"

The prisoner pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

"I have told you all I know, sensei. The rest is up to you."

"You've disgraced her name. You've damned yourself. Don't damn everyone else."

"How is he? I'm actually a little curious. Has his back healed yet?"

Fuyutsuki shook with rage.

"We should have let you die, you devil." He turned and pounded on the door, demanding exit. It disappeared into the ceiling, siren blaring all the way. Fuyutsuki left without looking back. The guard returned to his post, giving the man in the cell a dark look.

Ikari Gendo considered the words passed between them, grinning softly. He lay back down, placing his hands behind his head, breathing in the harsh recycled air. His eyes closed. All was right with the world.

* * *

To be concluded. 

Author notes: one more... one more… This probably won't end the way you think it will… or think it should. And fair warning: I plan to leave certain things unresolved. Just like real life. Well, my life.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I personally feel you guys are overestimating me, but what the hell do I know, right? Also, thanks to the people who pointed out all the clichés, convenience, poor description, bizarre characterizations and other assorted unbelievable elements. I truly appreciate it.

Ha ha! Character development is done! Time for plot device after plot device! Oh, I can hear the flames from here. About how implausible the ending is, how convoluted and how convenient it all is. About how OOC Misato's actions are in the second half, about how the whole thing just plain _sucks_. But damn it, this is my fic, and I'll damn well throw out the ideals of believable story structure and character fidelity if I so choose. So there.

And here. OMAKE. You know, I was actually thinking about doing omakes for _Witness_. Not sure if I'll do one for next time.

Misato: _God, my dad is such a dick._

Shinji: (no response)

Misato: _Yours is pretty dickish, too. _

Shinji: (no response)

Misato: _Uh, are you okay, Shin-chan? You look a little… out of it._

Rei: _Perhaps his life of perpetual horrors has finally caught up with him. First that deceitful skank Kirishima returns, now his deadbeat dad._

Misato: _Um… and how do you know about all that?_

Rei: (thinking) _Shit._

Shinji: _Oh, I'm fine with all that. I'm simply trying to figure out who to kill first. The assholes who attacked Misato-san, my father for being involved with it, or Dr. Katsuragi for abandoning her again._

Rei: _Ikari-san, calm down… please._

Misato: _No! Keep it up, Shinji!_ (to Rei) _Shut up! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get him really revved up?_

Rei: _Somehow I was happier not knowing that._

Shinji: _Must… restrain… urge to kill…_

Misato: _Oh, don't you worry about that, Shin-chan. I'm sure you'll get a little death somehow…_


	15. Chapter 15

True Love Waits chapter 15

Adam Kadmon

Disclaimer: thank you all for reading, putting up with me, and dropping a line now and then. And thank heavens I don't own Evangelion or Radiohead.

* * *

Breath. Drawing life into the body. Filling the fragile form to the apex of humanity, refresh and revive. Restoration. Cycle. Life to loss, inhale to exhale. Use and release. Death and rebirth.

"Huh?"

Misato awoke. She immediately regretted it. Her mouth was full of acrid copper, her lips were dried together, her eyes were twin deserts on her aching face. The pain wasn't doing anything for her either. Like someone had taken an ice cream scoop to her side and legs, digging out a couple pounds of flesh. She could almost feel the deep gaps in her skin, imagining all sorts of ugly things.

She gave a monumental effort and turned her head, letting the side of her face sink into the pillow. She wasn't going anywhere for awhile. She frowned in revulsion. Her hair was in her mouth. It tasted like smoke and fire.

What the hell had happened? She was obviously injured, but… God, what happened? Eyes finally adjusting to the darkness, Misato found someone sleeping in a chair outside her room, beyond an observation window. She shifted in her bed, trying to see who it was.

Bed. She was in a bed. Not her futon, not Shinji's tiny double. That was a little disconcerting. She calmed down when she realized it was Rei sleeping near her. No mistaking that blue mop top.

Misato smiled, even as her lips cracked. She knew she shouldn't be surprised to find Rei here, but it still made her feel good. Like a parent. That in itself was odd. Lying, apparently paralyzed in a strange bed, giving herself a pat on the back as her charge sat in a chair dead to the world.

However, it begged the question: if Rei was here, where was Shinji?

He was out in the hall, staring open-mouthed at the woman who had months ago shattered his heart. Even as the deceit and humiliation rushed back to him, he could not summon any of the anger he had felt so strongly back then. He just felt a subtle, nagging tug on his abused heart. Like poking a developing scab.

"Mana…"

"You remember me. I'm glad." She smiled. She was glowing in the moonlight, her curves radiating beauty. "Hello, Ikari Shinji."

"Mana…"

Her smile widened.

"Can we move beyond names? If you don't mind?"

He nodded faintly, and grabbed hold of the rail on the wall. His feet seemed to be rather light at the moment.

"Is she alright?" she asked him.

"Yeah… yeah. The doctors said she'll be okay, uh, in time. What… what are you doing here?"

"I was involved in the operation today," she said, turning to the window. She looked impossibly soft and fragile. "I stuck around when I heard she got hurt. I wanted to know she was going to be okay. Since you love each other."

Shinji felt ashamed, and was angry for it.

"… what happened, Mana? How did she get so injured?"

"You really love her, don't you?" Her eyes softened. "I'm sorry. I can't tell you. I don't know if she'll be able to tell you, either. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's all I can tell you."

Shinji frowned.

"Thanks anyway…" He glanced at her, still gazing out the window. He tried to say more to her, but words failed him. He couldn't think of anything else to tell her. He found he didn't want to tell her anything else.

"I'm sorry, Shinji," she said, at length. "About everything. You left before I could apologize."

Courtesy he did not know he possessed commanded his tongue.

"… I'm sorry, too. I was just so… angry. I felt like I'd do something I might regret."

"It hurt," she admitted, still smiling. "You hurt me too, you know. I know it's poor of me to say this to you, but you broke my heart too, Shinji. I truly loved you, more than any job, more than anyone on earth. I forgot… somewhere along the way, about the reasons they had me approach you, about all the lofty ideals of the military. It stopped mattering to me why I was with you. It only mattered that I was with you."

Shinji shifted in discomfort.

"It's… it's too late for stuff like that, Mana. You know that."

"Yeah," she said, very softly. "I do." She looked at him, just like he had looked at her so many times, letting her eyes communicate all the love, all the adoration he held for her, a look she had never cherished as much as she should have. Mana slid her hand next to his on the rail. "Would you do me one last favor? I will never ask anything of you ever again, Shinji. I swear on my life."

He shut his eyes. What did he owe her, anyways? If anything, she owed him. He sighed, unwittingly letting her scent into him. She still smelled the same, he marveled. But he wasn't aroused, not like he used to be, like he should be. Her face, her body flashed in his mind, but only for an instant. They dissolved, pushed back into the murky depths of his consciousness, allowing another to replace it. The woman he would die loving.

"Just one more favor," she whispered.

Then he felt her lips against his.

* * *

True Love Waits

Chapter 15

* * *

This was not how Shinji imagined the day would end. Not only had he received the worst scare of his young life today, but he might have violated Rei, and to top it off, his ex had shown up out of the blue, forcing him to recall all sorts of recently forgotten emotions. And now?

Now she was pressed against him, her hands tenderly caressing his chest, her lips and tongue trying to find the right combination of spit and pressure that would spring his mouth open. All within shouting distance of his injured girlfriend.

No, this was not right at all.

He grabbed her shoulders and pushed hard. Mana simply bounced back into him. He'd forgotten how strong she was. With a quick pivot of her hips she pinned him against the window, scraping her pelvis along his. She trapped his left leg between hers, making it do very friendly things to her. He was helpless; the small of his back was grinding against the rail, liquid pain swimming up his spine. All he could do was moan in agony into her mouth. Ineffectual, as she was moaning, too.

Finally, finally, she eased up on him, letting her finger tips trail down his front. Her lips broke from his, denied access, and she gazed into his eyes, the magnificently deep blue she had almost forgotten.

He pried her away from him, shaking his head in confusion.

"Mana…!"

She smiled, but it was one of complete sadness, like the last look you give to the dearly departed. It almost made him forget the kiss.

"I just… wanted to feel you… one last time…" Mana held his gaze with no visible effort. "I will always love you, Ikari Shinji."

She stumbled backwards, not willing to let his form escape her vision. Her eyes blinked, many times, then descended to the floor, watching her feet carry her away, far away.

Shinji gazed after her, holding his head, wiping his mouth. He shuddered, and fell to his knees. He stayed there, in the hall, in the dark, alone, until Rei silently found him, and told him Misato had woken up. He nodded to her, and forced a smile.

They walked to Misato's room. They saw her grin weakly beyond the observation window.

"Welcome back," Shinji whispered, greeting the woman he loved back to the world of the waking.

* * *

A week passed before Misato was moved to a normal room, one fitted to allow visitors. She was still confined to a bed, much to her dismay, but far fewer machines littered her bedside. Though the IV continued to make Shinji slightly dizzy.

He and Rei made a second home out of Misato's room, spending every second they could steal from the rest of the world with her. The hours they were allowed to visit were extended, by special order of commander Fuyutsuki. Shinji made sure to remember to thank him if he ever saw the old man again, right after he punched him in the face.

He, like most days now, was sitting beside Rei in Misato's room, facing her slumbering form. Though there was literally nothing to do but stare at the woman, both were accustomed to long expanses of doing little, and indeed they appreciated silence and solitude. For Rei, it was time to be alone with her thoughts or a good book. For Shinji, it was simple reinforcement of the innate belief no one would ever enjoy his company.

But being with a woman like Misato for so long, his inner voice had been muzzled to a degree, and he discovered himself desiring some sort of socialization. Not a great deal, but enough to disrupt the quiet of the hospital that was slowly driving him mad. He turned to Rei.

"So," Shinji began, "how are you?"

"I cannot complain," the pale girl replied, not looking up from her book.

"Sure you can. I'm all ears." He sat forward. "Lord knows if anyone needs a sympathetic ear it's you."

"What exactly are you implying?"

"Uh, nothing. I mean n-nothing. Just that, ah, you know… you seem to have had your share of bad luck. Especially lately."

"I believe Misato's luck has been worse than mine as of late," Rei stated. She glanced at the man beside her. "I would wager yours has not been exceedingly good either."

"Well…"

"Am I mistaken?"

Shinji shrugged in a defeated manner.

"Just making conversation."

Rei understood, but did not fully comprehend, adults' need for idle talk. She did not hold it against Shinji, but merely added it to the list of peculiarities grownups possessed.

She gave him another sidelong glance and saw his face, a look of restrained desperation. She supposed he must still be on edge after the accident. She shared his unease too, but to a far lesser degree. Not knowing how her guardian was so grievously injured was weighing heavily, even on her mind. She had trouble imagining how Shinji was taking it.

"My performance at school has been diminished since… this happened," Rei relented. She knew he was looking at her again, but she kept her eyes on her book. "It has been difficult to concentrate."

"I imagine," Shinji said softly. He waited, hoped, for more. "Um… it's hard at work too. Not, ah, I mean not that you have it easy, just…"

"I imagine."

"Thanks," he mumbled. "Hey, ah, how are your friends doing?"

_You mean the Ikari fan club?_

"Why ask?"

"Well… they're obviously important to you. Right? They're your friends."

Rei finally tucked her book away. She sighed gently.

"I suppose," she replied. She began to regret initiating this conversation. "Our… interests do not seem to coincide with one another as often lately."

"It would be boring if everyone had the same interests." Shinji smiled. "I mean, it's great to find someone who thinks like you, but variety is the spice of life. Plus, I'd hate to be stuck alone with someone exactly like me."

"I suppose."

"We're getting off topic. How are your friends?"

_You are so sure you want to know?_

"Very little has changed," Rei said. _For the better._ "Actually, they speak of you quite often."

"Why?" Shinji laughed.

Yes, very little had changed.

"Both the quality and quantity of men in their lives leaves much to be desired. For them."

"Don't be ridiculous," he said nervously. "That's just creepy."

"I am never ridiculous."

The urge to draw her book out, to end this, was staggering. If this mindless blather was what adulthood promised her, Rei would happily wave her right to old age now.

"S-sorry," Shinji said, right on cue.

Damn her compassionate heart.

"Horaki's role as class representative appears to be a strain for her nowadays," Rei offered. "She never used to be this easily distracted." She threw a meaningful look at Shinji, which he completely missed.

"That's a shame," he said.

"Soryu too, is not herself. She is generally unpleasant to be near. More so."

Shinji grinned, entirely lost within a discussion of teenage girls.

"How about you?" he asked. "You never did answer me. Honestly, how are you doing?"

"I will be fine," Rei said carefully. She wanted him off her trail. "My life has taught me to be what some call indifferent. I will be fine."

"Tough maybe. I wouldn't say indifferent."

Rei gave him a noncommittal hum.

"Perhaps I should be asking how you are, Ikari-san."

Shinji laughed through his nose.

"I'm kind of longing for my cello. It helps me unwind. Other than that…" He stopped suddenly and chuckled. "You know, you never did play for me. That hardly seems fair."

_He remembered that?_

Rei blinked in quiet astonishment. She didn't know why she was surprised. Shinji tended to remember all sorts of strange things. He would continually surprise Misato with little gifts celebrating obscure anniversaries, and had the uncanny ability to recall his lover's favorite colors, meals, films and other such nonsense. And he did it all with a small, private smile on his face. Not quite like it was expected of him, but rather that he expected it of himself.

He was definitely an odd one. He did so many things for Misato, for her as well, and he did it without any expectation of reward. Rei wasn't particularly well acquainted with charity, but it was something no one bothered to show her. The cardinal law of the world was equal exchange; no one did something for nothing. But unless Shinji was receiving a payment under the table, he was breaking the rules. Blatantly.

Was that why Misato liked… loved him so much? Why she continued to battle the odds to keep what they shared? She had never been so serious regarding males before. If and when a problem arose she used it to end the relationship, and move on to the next one. It was a natural evolution from man to man.

It allowed Rei to keep her distance, to stay aloof. It gave her an out from making friends or getting attached to anyone Misato brought home. It was safe, and comfortable, and static. It was something she missed only in her weaker moments.

For the first time in so long she felt she was approaching what others called happiness. It was hard, time consuming and emotionally draining, but she did not mind. Looking back from a safe distance she did not mind her new life, or where it seemed to be headed. She was becoming familiar with feeling light, hopeful, and she liked it.

She liked him. She truly and genuinely liked him.

Rei smiled.

"I will try to make good on our arrangement," she said.

Shinji smiled back.

"I'll look forward to it."

This was what she liked. The small moments encased between blocks of awkward stumbling. If this was the payoff, it was all worth it.

Rei continued to smile as she took her book out.

"Definitely jealous," Misato croaked out.

"Misato!" Shinji was by her side in a flash. "How are you feeling today?"

"Lousy," she said. She gave a tired smile from the confines of her pillow. "I've definitely been better."

"The doctors said you'll be out of here soon."

"Great. No more drugs. Can't wait." Misato sighed. "Hey, Shin-chan? Could you get me some more of that divine gelatin they've been serving me? Cherry, please."

"Oh, uh, sure. Of course." Shinji rose from her bedside and left the room. The two remaining sat in silence for a moment.

"How are you doing, kiddo?" the woman finally asked.

"Must I have this discussion again?" The pale girl huffed a little, embarrassed.

"Sorry. You just looked so cute with Shinji." Misato grinned. "It's nice to know if anything ever happens to me you'll take care of him."

Rei cursed the heat in her cheeks.

"Do not be absurd."

"Oh, no. I'm serious. Poor little Shinji can't live alone. And without anyone else you'd wind up in a cave or something. I'm just saying it's good to know you'll take care of each other."

The pale girl grumbled something. The woman laughed gently.

"Don't worry," Misato said. "I'm not going anywhere."

Rei looked away in discomfort. Her mind refused to refocus on her book. She finally shut her eyes and savored the moment.

_Welcome back.

* * *

_

"Welcome home!"

"Thank _God._"

Misato hobbled into her apartment on crutches, sorry she hadn't taken Shinji up on the wheelchair offer. It was late when they arrived home, well past dinner. That was fine; Misato had insisted on eating out, desiring something hot and full of carbs, and not originating from the cruel joke the hospital called a cafeteria. Rei and Shinji readily agreed to her demands, hoping to ease her in any way possible. But the car ride had, despite his best efforts, only added to her misery. The few lessons Misato had given Shinji routinely ended as soon as they reached some deserted park, where she'd all but throw him into the backseat for a cramped, but mutually agreeable session. As it was, he drove well under the speed limit, and Misato yelled at him the whole way back for it.

It was not his fault the prescription painkillers were woefully weak.

"Finally here," she moaned, throwing a dirty look at Shinji. "Ugh, no calls, Rei. I need some sleep." She made it to her room, not accepting any help, and unceremoniously collapsed onto her futon. "Shinji," she whined. "Get over here and get my shoes off."

"Yes, Misato-san," he called back. He turned to Rei. "Is she always like this when she's hurt?"

The albino nodded gravely, memories of her appendectomy making her shiver.

"I am glad you are here to tend to her." She retired to her room. "Goodnight, Ikari-san."

"Goodnight, Ayanami," he said with a sigh.

"Shinji, where _are_ you?"

"Coming." He locked up, flipping the lights off as he walked to the bedroom. He shut the door behind him, smiling at her. It was wasted. She was face down on the futon, wiggling her feet in an ineffective attempt to get her boots off. "Don't worry, I'm right here." Shinji gently freed her feet. "Do you want anything else before we go to bed?"

She looked at him over her shoulder.

"Oh, no. You think you're staying over tonight?"

Shinji gaped.

"What? It's past eleven. I'm tired. I'm not going home now."

"Eleven, huh?" Misato frowned. "And whose fault is it we're home so late? Get your shoes back on, buddy."

"Misato-san, I'm not leaving you alone tonight. My mind is made up." Shinji stepped over her, prying her jacket off.

"Stop it. I'm not in the mood." Her arms flailed at him. "I feel like shit."

"You'll be uncomfortable if you sleep in your clothes. Come on now, turn over."

Misato groaned as loud as she could, and moved on her good side, away from Shinji.

"Don't be so difficult." He untucked her shirt and slipped her skirt down. "I'm trying to help, you know. Would you rather I wake Rei and have her look after you?"

"No," she pouted. "I want to be alone."

"The doctors said you shouldn't be alone, not for awhile."

"Screw the doctors. They don't know how I feel."

Shinji sighed, giving up on her shirt. He sat beside her on the futon, feeling lightheaded as he looked at her bandaged thighs.

"Do they still hurt?" he asked.

"Of course they _hurt,_ stupid! I had burning shrapnel inside me for like, hours. That doesn't exactly feel good." Misato huffed. "You're one remark away from a kick in the ass, mister."

"I don't think you could kick me."

"Shut up!" She hugged herself, and threw her shoe at the light. Remarkably, it turned off. "I'm tired and I want to sleep. And don't get any weird ideas just because I'm hurt. I still have my gun."

"I won't." Shinji lay down behind her, watching her body rise and fall in the darkness. She was still grumbling under her breath, something about stupid Shinji is a sex fiend. He sighed. "Misato-san…"

"What?"

"I know… we can't do anything, but… can I hold you? Can I still hold you?"

She was silent for a long time, and he thought she might have drifted asleep. Finally she eased onto her back. She didn't face him.

"Fine. Just… be careful, alright?"

He shimmied next to her, letting his stomach contact her side, taking care to make his legs avoid her injured ones. One hand cradled her head. The other searched for an unobtrusive place to land on her torso. He wracked his brain for the exact location of her abdominal injury.

"Just… here." Misato forced his hand down between her breasts. "But remember, no funny business."

"I know." He gazed at her, fighting the urge to kiss her, to wrap her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her. The fear had subsided a little, letting him think rationally again. But every time he realized she almost died, that she was nearly taken from him, he felt a lump in his throat, and his lips wavered. "I love you."

"Love you too," she answered, absently.

"I was so scared," Shinji said.

"It wasn't a walk in the park for me, either."

"I know, but… God, I don't know what I would've done—"

"Forget it," she said, not liking the tremor in his voice. "I'm alright. I've had worse."

"When?" he asked, incredulous.

"Well… did Rei ever tell you about the time I had my appendix out? That was pretty touch and go for awhile. Even I was scared."

Shinji laughed, despite the tears in his eyes.

"I love you," he told her. His brow furrowed. Even saying that with as much passion as he could muster didn't seem enough. Nothing he could do, even showing her physically, didn't fulfill his heart. The hand on her chest rose to her chin, and he gently turned her to face him. _"I love you."_

Misato opened her mouth a sliver, the hair falling over her eyes. He brushed it away, reverently, like he was worshipping her. His fingers caressed her cheek, entranced with the way she felt. They stayed like that for some time, staring into each other, his words floating between them.

"Alright," she said. "Just a little kissing. But that's it."

He smiled, and moved closer. His lips brushed her forehead. Misato could only stare at his neck. The anger, the frustration at having to be cared for like a child, suddenly vanished. It dissolved for his kiss. Everything, it all faded, slowly, gently, surely, it all seeped out of her, and she shut her eyes, falling asleep, the sensation of his lips on her brow sending her deep within a peaceful, serene slumber.

* * *

It was the first day she was on her own. Rei was at school, Shinji was doing whatever it was he did at the job he couldn't get fired from, and Misato was reclining on her couch, trying to relax in spite of the hospital's temporary ban on alcohol. Shinji's tea just wasn't cutting it.

It was one fifteen, exactly, when her doorbell rang. She knew the time because her favorite game show she never got to see because of work just reached its mid point. Something about shoddily constructed automobiles given to over enthusiastic morons appealed to her.

Misato hobbled to the front door. Too exhausted by the trip, she didn't bother to ask who it was, or check the peephole. She opened the door with a curse.

"Pleased to see you too, sunshine," Ritsuko said on the threshold.

"Another doctor," Misato grumbled. "Terrific."

She led the blonde inside, and deposited herself back on the couch. Injury prevented any nicety that called on making the guest more comfortable. Misato was having a hell of a time with just herself.

"How are you?" Ritsuko asked. "Really."

"I'll live. It'll take more than a crazed military unit under orders from a dead psycho to kill me."

"Glad to hear it. Honestly, I am."

Misato glanced away, letting her fingers dance on the fabric of the couch.

"How many did we lose, total?" the captain asked, tight lipped.

"Thirteen," Ritsuko said with a sigh.

"God."

"Yeah. Most were in the first wave that hit the lab." The blonde hesitated. "Kirishima was there."

"She has amazing follow through." Misato snorted. "I knew she was there. But I have no clue why she wanted to become a field officer. She wasn't trained for these kinds of operations."

"I heard she wanted a fresh start," Ritsuko said. "Of course, a fresh start within the military is never a fresh start." She paused again. "She's still alive."

"Did you come over here just to ruin my day? Thanks. I appreciate it." The lavender haired woman waved her away. "I was already debriefed in the hospital between visiting hours. I'd rather not recall our failure again, thank you."

"So you know the lab was lost," the doctor said, mostly to herself. She shook her head. "It seems there are several dozen labs like that one scattered throughout the country, all at varying levels of readiness. We found two more while you were out."

"Did you get anything?"

"Nothing concrete." Ritsuko stopped to clear her throat. "We did unearth a few codes from the labs we took. Programming bypasses. We used them to uncover some hidden texts within the MAGI. Certain files were so heavily encrypted it would have taken months to figure them out. I'll spare you the techno babble."

"Thanks."

"We found some texts," Ritsuko repeated. "They're at least several centuries old." The doctor clenched her jaw shut.

"… well, what did these old books say?"

"Sorry," Ritsuko deadpanned, "but my ancient Hebrew is a little rusty. The texts were written in a dead dialect, and we had a hell of a time translating even small portions. We've been forced to cooperate with European and American databases for help. Needless to say, the commander is up in arms."

The doctor hesitated.

"What we translated is metaphorical, but certain terms and dates are relevant to modern day occurrences. It speaks in great detail of… the end of man's world."

Misato blinked.

"Wait. Wait. You're… you're telling me the end of the world… is predestined? That some old guys a few thousand years ago prophesized the apocalypse… and it's some time this year?"

"Not the apocalypse… the closest translation we got was 'rebirth.' It could mean any number of things. But based on what we saw in the labs we aren't taking any chances.

"The JSSDF had frozen nearly every account in the nation, and international flights are being screened or halted. If… I'm… sorry, but you're too far up on the totem pole to leave the country at this point. Your clearance is still below mine, and you'll be off active duty for some time, but…"

"I know too much," Misato stated. She pursed her lips.

"To be blunt, yes. You do." The doctor sighed and ran a heavy hand over her eyes. "Ikari too, he's—"

"He doesn't have anything to do with his father," she snapped.

"I suppose you'd know," Ritsuko said. She sighed again. "Why do you think the JSSDF has been watching him for so long? Why we still watch him? He's a security risk. His name alone is a threat. We can't take any chances, not now."

"This is insane," Misato hissed.

"I'm not debating that."

"You honestly think this… thing is so dangerous that we should leave the country? Are Ikari's men planning some kind of strike on the capital?"

"… I'm not sure."

Misato knew enough not to badger her with questions, and that this visit was not meant solely to give her a heart attack. It was obvious Ritsuko knew more, but she could not disclose anything else. Though she was worried enough to warn her friend.

"What about Rei?" Misato asked quietly.

"It'll take me a few days, but I think I could get her out. Maybe to an embassy. I'm not sure where your father is right now, either. If I knew—"

"I don't want her with that man." The captain shook her head. "Sorry. Just… not with him, okay?"

More aware of conflicts with parents than she let on, Ritsuko nodded. She stood to leave.

"I'll see what I can do, alright? In the meantime… I don't even know if telling you this was such a good idea. But for awhile now I don't think I've been as good a friend as I should have been. The friend you deserve. I've kept so many things from you and even now I—"

"Have a job to do," Misato finished. She bit her thumbnail. "Sometimes the truth is too painful to tell. Sometimes it's best not to know."

Ritsuko looked utterly haunted.

"Ritsuko… thank you." The major struggled to her feet. "Just… for me… make sure you do your job, okay?"

Misato showed her oldest friend out. She waited by the door, resting her forehead against it. She spent another second postponing her decision, then grabbed her keys and left.

* * *

"Hello?"

"_Shinji…"_

"Oh, hi, Misato-san. Is everything okay?"

"_No. I'm… I'm almost outside your building. Please… please meet me, okay? Let me take you home."_

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"_Shinji… please… just… take the day off, okay?"_

"Um, okay, I guess. I should talk to my manager—"

"_Forget your job… I need to see you_ now."

That was how it began for him. He left, mumbling an excuse to his neighbors, hoping they'd cover for him. Misato met him in her car, not bothering to get out. Her eyes were focused straight ahead, her hands strangled the wheel. She didn't even look at him as he entered.

"Misato-san… what's wrong? You look…" Awful. "… tired."

She gunned the engine.

The trip home was fast and silent. The trip up the elevator was much the same. Shinji's feeble attempts at explanation went unheeded. Misato was deep within herself. Her hand shook as she opened the door. She swept in, forgetting her shoes, stripping off her jacket.

"Misato-san, please, talk to me. What's going on?"

She turned on him, searching his confused face. She lunged at him, kissing him hard. He fumbled with the door, finally opting to kick it closed. Her touch and attitude made clear what she wanted from him. She led him to her room with her eyes, peeling off their clothing as they went. Shinji knew better than to argue with her at times like this, but he couldn't help himself.

"Mi-Misato-san, wait. Stop." He held her arms. "You dragged me out of work just for sex? I know we haven't in awhile, but…" He shook his head. "We… well, okay I probably won't get fired, but come on. Please, tell me, what's going on? You're scaring me."

She shook, and all but threw him on the futon. He landed with a grunt, while Misato let her skirt fall to her feet. Soon, all she was wearing were bandages.

"But… the doctors said we shouldn't…"

"I don't care," she said. Her voice was clear, strong. "I don't care… even if it hurts… I need to be with you." She climbed on top of him. "I love you, Shinji." Her kisses were rough, and she tore his shirt open. Buttons flew. He halted her, with great effort, demanding an explanation. "Please," she begged. She'd never begged before. It made him feel… uncomfortable. "Please. Let me have this."

Shinji sighed, and swallowed his refusal. He kissed her.

"Alright." She pushed him down, but he deftly moved to the side, and let her lay on her back. "Don't push yourself," he whispered. He read her need for swiftness, and abandoned his normally slow ministrations. His line of kisses sheepishly trailed down her body, his hands gently prying her legs apart. He had clocked quite a few hours down there, and she adored him for it, but today it was not to be.

"I'm ready," she said. "Please…"

Shinji, used to doing what he was told, complied. He reached to the small bureau by her bed, searching for a condom. She grabbed his wrist, bringing it back to her body. He questioned her with his eyes.

"Not today," she said. "Please…"

He nodded, albeit reluctantly. Shinji told himself he could always run out to the pharmacy later. He had no idea why she was acting so odd, but he didn't want to upset her any more. And it _had _been a long time. He kissed her.

He was over her, keeping his mouth to hers, when he heard her quick sob.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, freezing.

"Please... Shinji…"

He complied.

* * *

Sex was always amazing for Shinji. Not so much the physical aspect, as much as it was the concept someone liked him enough to freely present themselves in such a vulnerable state. It boggled his mind. In his youth he never once allowed himself to believe he would participate in such things. He grew up with the unshakable knowledge he would die a virgin. The level of exposure, the loss of control, terrified him.

It still did, in a way. He was still far from confident, far from being considered a suave ladies' man. He was just so unsure. No one ever taught him how to act around women. People in general were difficult. Sex was nothing but a complicating factor.

And Misato was just so… experienced. She knew what she liked, and never said otherwise. Shinji often felt like he was playing catch up just to keep pace with her.

But this time…

She barely spoke. Her usual loquaciousness was silenced. Gone were her verbal commands, her dirty talk, her shuddering pants and screams. While hearing her enjoy herself to such a degree was undoubtedly arousing, he felt the quiet moments could communicate emotions no words could ever hope to convey.

Her eyes were either locked with his or screwed shut. And he had never seen the deep brown of her eyes so filled with emotion. Nameless, unutterable feelings that dwarfed what he was used to.

He'd lost count of the number of times they'd had sex, but today was the first time he truly felt Misato made love to him. He achieved such a deep connection this time he could nearly see things from her point of view regarding intimacy. An affirmation of life.

Shinji stared up at the ceiling of Misato's bedroom. Her futon conformed like putty beneath his back. Somewhere, possibly on her desk, a small fan was sending the yellowy scent of their completed act through the crack in the door and out into the apartment. Rei would no doubt crinkle her nose at it, but stay silent, like she always did.

Shinji smiled gently. He felt good. He did not feel awkward, the normal afterglow of sex he was accustomed to. The moment was unspeakably natural. Like a fish slipping through a placid current. He did not want to let it go.

Misato moved slightly, faintly rubbing her cheek across his left shoulder. It thrilled him like nothing else.

"Shinji," she said. Her voice was soft, softer than he ever remembered hearing it. "Shinji… have you forgiven me yet?"

He admonished himself for not somehow expecting this. But an afternoon delight was hardly a basis of mercy concerning infidelity. He wished he could tell her there was nothing to forgive, that it was all in the past and not to worry over it anymore. Shinji knew, without any doubt in his mind, that someday he would forgive her completely. But it was so far in the distance he couldn't even see its shadow.

"I love you," he whispered.

"That isn't an answer," she whispered back.

Shinji was feeling some genuine confusion. Did he forgive her? Was that why he agreed to sex? He didn't want to think of himself as someone who did that without love. But he realized love is not always a panacea. It does not always mean forgiveness.

"Misato-san…"

Lies, cheating, Mana, Misato… why couldn't life be simple? Why couldn't it all be easy and joyful and free of pain? Why the hell couldn't he just be happy, for once in his life? For once in his God damned life.

Every time he felt poised to absolve her of all blame his mind created sordid and disgusting images of her with that man Kaji, and his emotions churned and boiled until nothing but helpless fury remained. He hated not being in control of his own feelings. He hated not being able to reach a point free of second guesses. For once in his life he wanted to set a goal and reach it.

But he couldn't. He just could not. He couldn't forgive her, but he couldn't lie to her either. He hoped it was behind her. He sincerely did. Even though it would never be behind him.

He had already forgiven her for associating with the JSSDF. Misato was quite skilled at separating her private and personal lives. So much so that he was good at it too. The differing realms of her personal and professional life never intersected around him, even when it did for her. It wasn't that she was two different people. It was just that she was extremely good at managing the various aspects of her existence.

It was something Shinji was traditionally terrible at. Whereas he saw parts of the whole, Misato saw whole parts. It has caused surprisingly little trouble up to this point.

"I… please, I…" Her body hitched. "I need to hear you say it. Even… even if you don't mean it…" Tears crawled from her eyes. "I am so sorry, Shinji."

She had never cried in front of him. Not truly, not so openly. It terrified him. Tears, pain that made her cry, were the one thing he never wanted on his conscience. He could live with making her wait. He could live with ambiguity and half truths. But to make her weep...

"Misato… I love you. I love you more than anything, or anyone. My entire life I have waited for you. And… I want to be happy. For once, I want to be happy… with you. You make me happy. You make me whole."

His finger tips absently trailed down her back.

"My entire life I was missing you… I don't want to give you up now."

He swallowed.

"I may not be a smart man, or an important man, or even a good man… but I'm your man. I am yours. I love you, and I will never leave you, so long as you'll have me."

He could still feel wetness seeping onto his chest. His mind was divided. It was tearing him apart.

"I'm sorry."

The fan continued to blow.

"Could… could we just stay like this?" She hugged him gently to emphasize her words. "Just… for a little longer?"

"Always," Shinji said.

* * *

Rei exited the junior high school alone and began the walk back to her house. Despite the quantity of time she had been spending away from her friends as of late, she was not yearning for their company. She had not told them Misato was out of the hospital, and saw no real need to do otherwise. It wouldn't matter.

Asuka was on a one-woman crusade against all things that were male and not an Ikari it seemed, and Hikari had difficulty carrying even the barest of conversations. Not that Rei was in a talkative mood these days. She was quietly thankful for her friends' petty distractions, and even though their paths in life seemed to be deviating more and more, she was not worried by it. Living with Misato and Shinji took enough out of her.

She reached her home in relative peace, with the belief only Misato would be waiting for her. Rei opened the front door. She glanced at the floor as she took her shoes off, seeing Shinji's beat up old sneakers. A little surprising, but not unpleasant. Although what he and Misato were both doing home from work so early led to… unfavorable thoughts. Sweaty, naked, screaming thoughts. The image of Shinji in his boxers came back to her, unbidden.

"Rei?"

Misato came out of her bedroom, her eyes wet. Shinji followed, barely standing up.

_Ah,_ Rei thought. _I was correct. How unfortunate._

"Rei," her guardian said again, biting her lip. "We… we have to talk."

"About what?" Certainly, they weren't breaking up. The subtle odors wafting from the bedroom were testament to that. Perhaps she was pregnant. That would be the natural outcome of so much—

"You… maybe you should sit down. B-both of you."

So she was pregnant. Big surprise. Should she be stunned, or amazed? Well, Ikari was taking it well.

"Rei…" The older woman grabbed her shoulders, barely able to halt the tears in her eyes. Shinji stared at her in confusion. Misato kneeled before her, holding her hands. "Rei… there's something I have to tell you."

Then they heard the bombs.

* * *

_So this is how the world ends,_ Rei thought as the three of them stood on the balcony. _Not with a bang, or a whimper… with us watching it from Misato's rent-controlled apartment. _

Shinji stood between them, and silently sought out their hands. He felt Misato return his touch fiercely, almost clawing into him. It took a little coaxing for Rei to accept him. But she did.

Out, far away a giant of light was rising on slender limbs. It was slightly hunched over, its long hands reaching for something unseen. Around it filling the sky VTOLs and jets swarmed, the missiles and bullets they poured onto the giant all bouncing away, harmless. The three on the balcony could barely make out strange, hexagonal fields appearing and disappearing with the attacks. It looked like nothing more than an annoyance.

Then there was a flash, and a boom, and the earth shook. All around the giant the ground caved in and fell away, and strange occult symbols and signs burned themselves into the sky. When Shinji blinked, he saw it within the darkness. It filled him with absolute terror.

They gasped, even Rei, as the hole around the giant became white, a pure, perfect white, and slowly a head grew out of it. Then a neck, shoulders, arms and breasts. It was a woman, a goddess, rising from the earth. Jets vanished as they neared her; no explosions, nothing. It all seemed incredibly peaceful. Like it was meant to happen. The goddess was stunning, far exceeding the two women and one man on the balcony, far exceeding any living creature on the planet. It was not a sexual beauty, or even an artistic attractiveness. It was simply beyond all comprehension, all definitions, all comparison. It refused to be confined within words or ideas, unwilling to allow any human mind to imprison it. It was the most humbling thing anyone could ever dream to see.

"I love you, Misato."

She kissed him, touching his face with her free hand. She cried as she embraced him. He bowed his head, pressing their foreheads together.

"I love you, Shinji," she whispered.

The floor shook. Windows shattered. The giant of light and the white woman embraced, their limbs and forms intertwining with each other until nothing of their original shapes could be seen. Then they vanished in a ball of energy. It blossomed like a flower, until it covered the horizon, creeping over the surface of the planet. Buildings did not explode, or implode, they simply ceased to be. Then the sound hit them like a wall, a throttled, primal scream that forced the hair up on their bodies. Not out of fear, but out of awe. It was the most perfect sound any of them had ever heard.

Shinji turned to his other side, and gave the fourteen year old girl's hand a tender squeeze.

"I love you too, Rei."

The last thing Ayanami Rei felt was a miraculous warmth spreading from their interconnected hands, rushing through her entire body, making her gasp.

When the shockwave reached them, it hurt for only a moment.

* * *

True Love Waits End

Author notes: no, really, this is the end.

I had the balcony scene in my head since chapter six. I hesitated in fleshing it out, but in the end every other conclusion I thought of, from Shinji proposing to Misato (lame), to Misato dying and Rei hooking up with Shinji (sad, creepy), felt wrong. I suppose this is sad, but I hope the overall impact (no pun intended) is one of happiness. Love survives in spite of loss.

I'm sure a few of you are disappointed (ha ha! Shinji didn't have anything to do with the Impact!), but this is the only way I feel it should end. Besides, just like the title promised, true love waited, right to the very end.

Thank you for reading.


End file.
